The Silence is Killing Me!

[MonkeyPants]

the whole process is making me manic/depressive. severe mood swings- one minute i think, "of course i'll get in somewhere, i'm awesome!" and the next, "of course i'll be rejected everywhere, i'm an idiot!"

sigh. positive thoughts, positive intent, positive actions, positive outcome.

[doubledotty]

Sorry to hear that, doubledotty. Hang in there - I know a little of what you feel - that unpleasant surprise when you find out, 'oh, THAT'S what I was supposed to do in my app.' But now you're a lot better informed, and if you choose to apply next year, you will have an awesome, compelling application!

Thanks! I did research quite thoroughly before applying, but somehow a lot of the information that's on this forum doesn't appear to come up on a google search and I was definitely stumbling around in the dark somewhat. I didn't get in touch with any POIs before applying (although one of my recommenders was at Yale and she sent a note to her old adviser who is one of my idols, don't know if that counts), my SOP was way too unfocused and I didn't do enough drafts, my writing sample was probably all wrong (we don't write long papers on a regular basis in the UK) and didn't have a cover sheet and it all just feels like a disaster. Even my GRE scores don't seem to be all that exceptional as I've seen loads of better ones on here and I was thrilled when I got them. I'm sort of hoping that they'll take pity on me for being ignorant and English! And that my recommenders hold some kind of sway, seeing as that's pretty much the only part of my application that I'm guaranteed to have not screwed up

Sorry for ranting! None of my friends are applying to the US, or even to do PhDs at all, so I'm really on my own with the stress here and it's nice to find people who understand. I'm definitely reapplying next year anyway - not going to let all the money I spent on the GRE go to waste

[bythesea]

Thanks! I did research quite thoroughly before applying, but somehow a lot of the information that's on this forum doesn't appear to come up on a google search and I was definitely stumbling around in the dark somewhat. I didn't get in touch with any POIs before applying (although one of my recommenders was at Yale and she sent a note to her old adviser who is one of my idols, don't know if that counts), my SOP was way too unfocused and I didn't do enough drafts, my writing sample was probably all wrong (we don't write long papers on a regular basis in the UK) and didn't have a cover sheet and it all just feels like a disaster. Even my GRE scores don't seem to be all that exceptional as I've seen loads of better ones on here and I was thrilled when I got them. I'm sort of hoping that they'll take pity on me for being ignorant and English! And that my recommenders hold some kind of sway, seeing as that's pretty much the only part of my application that I'm guaranteed to have not screwed up

Sorry for ranting! None of my friends are applying to the US, or even to do PhDs at all, so I'm really on my own with the stress here and it's nice to find people who understand. I'm definitely reapplying next year anyway - not going to let all the money I spent on the GRE go to waste

Good on you!!

-and good luck in your apps, this year, and next - doing the reading in your field, being persistent, and making improvements are hallmarks of a successful researcher - so you are already moving forward on the path you have chosen, no matter this year's outcome

[MSW13]

in other news, i have a co-worker that keeps asking me if I've heard back... and she keeps getting the same answer.. a smile, a "nope, not yet" followed by a shrug followed by "we'll see!" acting all hopeful..

This is exactly why I didn't tell a soul (aside from my references, husband and two close friends) that I was applying this year. I would very likely have thrown an open stapler at the next coworker who asked me if I knew the results, no matter how well meaning. Now, as I switch gears and think about how to improve my chances next year, I dont have the added burden of telling people over and over again, "no. I didn't get in", "no, I cant believe it either", "no, I dont know what I did wrong" etc etc..

[oseirus]

*sigh, TGIF!

No sigh ... this is good I don't think the schools will be this cruel to deliver bad news on the weekend ... time to unwind!

[We regret to inform you]

I think I'd wait until March, personally. One acceptance could just be someone that a particular faculty member really wanted, or it could be fake. As much as I hate the waiting part of it, I'd rather wait it out for a while and see what happens.

Yeah. But 1 of those 2 schools with a posted acceptance is having an invitation weekend the first weekend in march, so if i don't hear anything soon, i'm almost certainly out of the running.

[oseirus]

Yeah. But 1 of those 2 schools with a posted acceptance is having an invitation weekend the first weekend in march, so if i don't hear anything soon, i'm almost certainly out of the running.

Unless you make the wait list?

[duckiesandbees]

Sorry for ranting! None of my friends are applying to the US, or even to do PhDs at all, so I'm really on my own with the stress here and it's nice to find people who understand. I'm definitely reapplying next year anyway - not going to let all the money I spent on the GRE go to waste

A few years ago I was in kind of the opposite situation as you. I was applying to UK Master's programs and none of my professors or guidance staff knew anything about education in the UK and what my chances were of getting in. I know Master's programs are a lot less competitive than PhDs, but it worked out for me so don't count yourself out before you even get your results! I also know what you mean about not having anyone you know applying to PdDs. Just because I am "so smart" does not mean I'll get in.

[doubledotty]

Good on you!!

-and good luck in your apps, this year, and next - doing the reading in your field, being persistent, and making improvements are hallmarks of a successful researcher - so you are already moving forward on the path you have chosen, no matter this year's outcome

Thanks, I feel better about it when I think about it that way! It was a long shot in the first place so I shouldn't be so wound up really. I'll get to do it eventually, even if it takes a few goes and I can't go to my top choice school In some ways rejections would be good because then I won't have to leave the UK for another year!

[doubledotty]

A few years ago I was in kind of the opposite situation as you. I was applying to UK Master's programs and none of my professors or guidance staff knew anything about education in the UK and what my chances were of getting in. I know Master's programs are a lot less competitive than PhDs, but it worked out for me so don't count yourself out before you even get your results! I also know what you mean about not having anyone you know applying to PdDs. Just because I am "so smart" does not mean I'll get in.

Thanks! I'm catastrophising probably. My department gets one or two people to the US every year so there is a glimmer of hope I suppose. One of my professors (although we don't call them that here - just plain lecturer!) was at Yale and gave me a lot of advice on applying, just not on the actual technicalities of the application. I'll keep my fingers crossed but my hopes aren't too high, although encouraging words are much appreciated

[Kitkat]

Well, it's better for both of us to have that out of the way, I guess. I know geoscience programs can be highly specialized and it can be tricky to find a fit if you have specific research in mind. The rest of the programs to which I applied are much stronger in terms of fit and faculty correspondence. This has motivated me to clarify my plan B a little more, though.

Yeah, but from what I can tell, and was confermed to a degree people in geosciences tend to apply to a small amount of schools compared to other fields. It does seem to mainly be based on fit, as you said. But at the same time, if you find some good fits, then there is a better chance, at least in my mind, in getting into a program at all. Or at least I hope. But at the same time, one rejection is also increasing my desire to work on my plan B/C at this point.

[cokohlik]

I can hardly stand the waiting. I might have a mental breakdown. I'm so nervous that I'm not going to get in... argh!!

[Starlajane]

is this your first go-round applying?

Really, I think you already know the answer to this: no. This is my second app season.

[habanero]

Hence, even if I do get on a waitlist, or a late acceptance, knowing that I was not a top candidate doesn't exactly endear a school to me; in fact, it's actually kinda sleazy. It actually makes me not want to go to any school that treats me that way, even if it is a top choice that deigns to offer me a spot.

I actually disagree with this, although I understand the emotions behind your statement. You can never let somebody else dictate who you are, ESPECIALLY not an admissions committee. You can't expect every human to recognize your unique worth right away. You must realize that the admissions process is highly stressful for professors, and it is impossible for them to make the correct decision all of the time. They are not all-knowing beings with an unlimited supply of app-reviewing patience! The fact that you were not a 'top candidate' in their current world view (heavily influenced by many outside factors) does not mean that you are not actually a top candidate. Be grateful for any opportunity you can get and then work hard to turn it into unprecedented success.

[unitname]

Personally, I feel "HELLA" pissed!! I didn't know these emotions were in me. I feel like I don't want to even know if I got in anymore, keep your lousy decision...wait..let me see it first.

AHHHHHHHHHHH PULLING MY HAIR OUT

[felicite]

Personally, I feel "HELLA" pissed!! I didn't know these emotions were in me. I feel like I don't want to even know if I got in anymore, keep your lousy decision...wait..let me see it first.

AHHHHHHHHHHH PULLING MY HAIR OUT

AGREED! I thought I was a strange, quirky person before this process. But I am now crazier than Bedlamites!!!!!! Very little distracts me for any length of time from checking email, refreshing the acceptance survey, or checking websites from institutions. This process has proved that I am not sane. Not sane at all.

[Starlajane]

I actually disagree with this, although I understand the emotions behind your statement. You can never let somebody else dictate who you are, ESPECIALLY not an admissions committee. You can't expect every human to recognize your unique worth right away. You must realize that the admissions process is highly stressful for professors, and it is impossible for them to make the correct decision all of the time. They are not all-knowing beings with an unlimited supply of app-reviewing patience! The fact that you were not a 'top candidate' in their current world view (heavily influenced by many outside factors) does not mean that you are not actually a top candidate. Be grateful for any opportunity you can get and then work hard to turn it into unprecedented success.

I appreciate the aim of your post. However, I cannot agree with you.

I will reiterate that I respect those establishments that recognize my potential/worth from the beginning and want a chance to cultivate it. What I don't appreciate are people and institutions who come along afterwards--after they have rejected me yet after someone else has given me a chance through which I have blossomed--to say that I have now earned their respect and a place in their program; it's arrogant, and I have loyalty to the people and institutions who initially see my potential and give me a chance versus those that don't and only want me after I have proven myself in spite of them because of the faith and belief of others. For me, it's a question of character rather than prestige.

Thus, I am not an ambitious grad student who is going to take any and all opportunuties to suckle at the hegemonic power teet and do any and everything I can to get into the most prestigious program possible; clearly, I have a different set of criteria for the kind of program that I want to be a part of. Because, sometimes, the "best" program is not always what is "best" or appropriate for a particular student, which is why it really is (or should be) all about fit.

However, by all means, have at it. I appreciate your "concern" but being who I am is precisely why one of those top programs--and all of the [what I consider] sycophantic pandering that goes along with it--are just not for me. I will always be a candidate who understands that programs need us just as much as we need them, that a healthy relationship is one of mutual respect, rather than one in which students should be humbly grateful and deferential for being even the slightest acknowledgement; really, do I sound like someone who is ever deferential?

Edited February 11, 2012 by Starlajane

[oseirus]

Really, I think you already know the answer to this: no. This is my second app season.

I had a subtle hint it might be the case but I hate to assume so I felt it only right that I should ask, that way I would remove all doubt

[oseirus]

Thanks! I'm catastrophising probably. My department gets one or two people to the US every year so there is a glimmer of hope I suppose. One of my professors (although we don't call them that here - just plain lecturer!) was at Yale and gave me a lot of advice on applying, just not on the actual technicalities of the application. I'll keep my fingers crossed but my hopes aren't too high, although encouraging words are much appreciated

Well if your lecturer is a recent grad they might still have connections to the school so they can always try to reachback on your behalf, no?

[doubledotty]

Well if your lecturer is a recent grad they might still have connections to the school so they can always try to reachback on your behalf, no?

She's not too recent a grad but her old adviser is still there and is my POI, so she sent her an email asking her to look very carefully at my app. One of my other recommenders is also good friends with my POI. Does that kind of thing actually make a big difference? I assumed it would be written off as nepotism!

[oseirus]

She's not too recent a grad but her old adviser is still there and is my POI, so she sent her an email asking her to look very carefully at my app. One of my other recommenders is also good friends with my POI. Does that kind of thing actually make a big difference? I assumed it would be written off as nepotism!

From what I've been told it doesn't happen ... but human nature has a way of precluding objectivity at times ... this isn't to say your candidacy isn't strong by itself but I don't see this hurting

[doubledotty]

From what I've been told it doesn't happen ... but human nature has a way of precluding objectivity at times ... this isn't to say your candidacy isn't strong by itself but I don't see this hurting

I suppose. It's good to know at least. I would assume that your recommenders being fairly big names in the field wouldn't hurt either?

In an ideal world, I'd rather that I just got in because I was good enough. But when there seem to be so many rules about how to present yourself and how to structure your application that's never going to happen. It seems like you get in if you're good enough and have presented your SOP in exactly the right way and have provided a writing sample that is in line with what they want to see and have the right LORs. Which does make sense, but sometimes I wish that you didn't have to spend such a long time making sure everything was done the 'right' way and could just show some evidence of raw talent or something.

Ho hum. I checked the results survey and Berkeley sent out rejections for my program on this Saturday last year. So I can't relax even though it's the weekend!

Edited February 11, 2012 by doubledotty

[sansao]

Yeah, but from what I can tell, and was confermed to a degree people in geosciences tend to apply to a small amount of schools compared to other fields. It does seem to mainly be based on fit, as you said. But at the same time, if you find some good fits, then there is a better chance, at least in my mind, in getting into a program at all. Or at least I hope. But at the same time, one rejection is also increasing my desire to work on my plan B/C at this point.

It certainly motivated me to think about what I would actually do in the event of getting only rejections (let's hope that's not the case for any of us). Now that I've had a day to process it though, I'm a kind of relieved. I saw myself having a particularly tough time working between the programs at this school to make my research come together. I was willing to do it if admitted, but it probably would have been the most stressful of the four. The other three applications are at schools that have programs in one of the specializations I'm looking for, so now I know I won't have to worry about that, at least.

[oseirus]

I suppose. It's good to know at least. I would assume that your recommenders being fairly big names in the field wouldn't hurt either?

I can't see how that could possibly hurt ... I mean if the best of the best are gonna vouch I think a school would be kind of silly to say no ... but maybe that's me?

[Ameonna]

From my own experience with the process in the psychological sciences, I suggest taking note of visitation/interview days if your desired universities happen to have them. If that day has already passed, and you are not invited, assume rejection.