Don't sweat the post-decision blahs

[VioletAyame]

Uhm by now I am sure that if you haven't gone through it you can't really understand. It sounds arrogant, but it also means that I don't get upset or offended anymore when my friends seem uninterested or unenthusiastic to everything grad-school related. On the other hand, I've met quite a few fantastic people during visits and on this very forum, who "get" it more and can be more of a support group since they can relate. I also heard multiple times from the current students that you need a group of friends separate from school, so that might work in our favor anyhow.

 

For the record, I'm actually excited after making my decision, and I don't think it's because of this particular decision either. It just feels like my mind has been released from this uncertainty limbo; now I can move forward and start making other plans. I would've felt the same had I chosen other program. I haven't realized how much I suffer from indecision until now

[BunnyWantsaPhD]

Anyone else feeling mixed feelings because of having to leave family? I feel so great that I got in somewhere, but I really don't want to leave those who are close to me. And, I haven't even visited the school that I accepted, so I feel like I don't know what I got myself into--I know it's a great school, and I fit the program, etc., it's just a lot to handle at the moment. 

[sacklunch]

Thanks for this. After having accepted a top 10 school I have been sort of Meh. When people ask, ARE YOU EXCITED?! I'm like, yeah, I guess? We humans love to be sad, I guess. Grass is always greener, they say. 

[Imaginary]

And, as much as I'm infatuated with my program and location, I am worried about job prospects four-five years from now.

Thanks for this. After having accepted a top 10 school I have been sort of Meh. When people ask, ARE YOU EXCITED?! I'm like, yeah, I guess? We humans love to be sad, I guess. Grass is always greener, they say.

[Me fail English?]

I'm still waitlisted, so not quite sure how I feel. I'm working on my teaching credential, though, as a backup. 

[VioletAyame]

And, as much as I'm infatuated with my program and location, I am worried about job prospects four-five years from now.

 

Sometimes I think about this. Then I realize it's future-me's problem. Let that one figure it out. My problem is the cross-country moving and how to survive (and maybe thrive) the first year.

[antecedent]

Anyone else feeling mixed feelings because of having to leave family? I feel so great that I got in somewhere, but I really don't want to leave those who are close to me. And, I haven't even visited the school that I accepted, so I feel like I don't know what I got myself into--I know it's a great school, and I fit the program, etc., it's just a lot to handle at the moment. 

 

Very much so. I'm trying to see it as the chance to make my own "home" for the next 5+ years. It helps that I have to switch my legal residency to my new state. I really am moving!

 

I'm leaving my family and my friends from college on the West Coast to move to the East Coast, so I know it's going to be hard but hopefully soon enough I'll have friends and connections enough in my new town for it to feel like home.

[BunnyWantsaPhD]

Very much so. I'm trying to see it as the chance to make my own "home" for the next 5+ years. It helps that I have to switch my legal residency to my new state. I really am moving!

 

I'm leaving my family and my friends from college on the West Coast to move to the East Coast, so I know it's going to be hard but hopefully soon enough I'll have friends and connections enough in my new town for it to feel like home.

 

Glad I'm not the only one feeling this way, though you have a much bigger move! Looks like we're both going to SUNY Buffalo!!! Let's chat! 

[Eternal Optimist]

People moving from east coast to west coast and vice versa, consider yourselves lucky, being an international student, I will only be seeing my family after 9 or 10 months

I completely understand how hard it must be for you guys to move to an entirely new state leaving behind your family and friends. I did my undergrad degree away from home (like 2 days in train away). I got to visit home every 3 to 4 months. Even then I was homesick and depressed during my final year. I missed two weeks worth of classes and got back home early before a break. So I know what y'all must be feeling. But you will be in the same country So rejoice!

And I am not complaining at all. I recognize that its an amazing opportunity to move across the world, experience a new culture and learn in a completely new academic setting. I feel lucky that I will get to do this. It still hurts to think that I will not be able to spend time with my family for 9 whole months! That's too long!

[hj2012]

People moving from east coast to west coast and vice versa, consider yourselves lucky, being an international student, I will only be seeing my family after 9 or 10 months

I completely understand how hard it must be for you guys to move to an entirely new state leaving behind your family and friends. I did my undergrad degree away from home (like 2 days in train away). I got to visit home every 3 to 4 months. Even then I was homesick and depressed during my final year. I missed two weeks worth of classes and got back home early before a break. So I know what y'all must be feeling. But you will be in the same country So rejoice!

And I am not complaining at all. I recognize that its an amazing opportunity to move across the world, experience a new culture and learn in a completely new academic setting. I feel lucky that I will get to do this. It still hurts to think that I will not be able to spend time with my family for 9 whole months! That's too long!

 

I totally understand this feeling. I'm an east coaster currently living in Asia, and I've only been able to see my family twice in the last two years. While it's good to be going back home to the U.S., I'll be relocating to the west coast....which strangely feels like another continent away from my home in Virginia! 

[ICanHazPhdPreez?]

The flight to LA from NYC is the same length as a flight to London from NYC. Just saying. It's the same country, but it's still a big move. And an expensive one at that.

 

Although I'm actually kind of excited to start over someplace new! I'm in my mid twenties, and it's time to do something just for me and my career. It's quite possibly the bravest thing I've ever done (which says a lot about how minimal my capacity for bravery is...)

 

For me, the waiting is the hard part. I'm starting to make plans, but it's not time to act on them yet. Course options for the Fall aren't up. And I know this is the time to rest and relax before 5-8 years of insanity, but resting and relaxing aren't my strong suits. Hence the choice to get a PhD in the first place.

[grubyczarnykot]

The flight to LA from NYC is the same length as a flight to London from NYC. Just saying. It's the same country, but it's still a big move. And an expensive one at that.

 

Although I'm actually kind of excited to start over someplace new! I'm in my mid twenties, and it's time to do something just for me and my career. It's quite possibly the bravest thing I've ever done (which says a lot about how minimal my capacity for bravery is...)

 

For me, the waiting is the hard part. I'm starting to make plans, but it's not time to act on them yet. Course options for the Fall aren't up. And I know this is the time to rest and relax before 5-8 years of insanity, but resting and relaxing aren't my strong suits. Hence the choice to get a PhD in the first place.

Oh man, I feel the exact same way about not being able to rest/relax. I am -so- bad at it. I spent the last semester of my undergrad in Krakow, Poland on a really good scholarship and had very easy classes, but it almost killed me. I couldn't handle not being in an intense academic environment for that long. What do you even do with free time? I thought free time was the few hours you were able to go to a bar and complain and/or geek out about theory on weekends that you don't work part-time. >:[ Transitional/relaxation periods are the worst. The waiting game is killing me too, especially the whole planning-but-not-being-able-to-act-on-said-plans deal. I scour Craigslist and the off-campus housing lists obsessively, knowing that most of the apartments I am looking at will not even be available by the time I'm actually able to put these plans into motion! And I have to worry about a visa, which I can't begin to acquire until my financial aid goes through, which is... not now, obviously. 

[ComeBackZinc]

*bump*

[1Q84]

I actually did need this now so thank you for bumping it. 

 

I do feel really weird when I see people posting that they're exhilarated and excited to start the program. I created a thread elsewhere saying this but I had almost immediate imposter syndrome the second after I pressed the enroll button. It helped for me to read what you wrote about there being some noticeable change in pace from frantic app season / post-decision. 

 

I think I'll try and lay off my nerves a bit. I've been stressed for way too long this semester!

[allplaideverything]

yeahhhhhh

[sfrie]

I can relate to this. I love the lab and adviser I picked but I can't help but think about everything I gave up at the other university I was seriously considering. I've always been the one who leaves home, but now I'm sticking around for the next 5+ years and it's very strange for me. I'm sure it will get better once the school year actually starts, but I can't help but feel regret about not starting over in a new city. 

[bsharpe269]

So glad I found this! I was so excited for about a month after accepting my offer but the closer I get to the move, the sadder I get. I currently live near family, including my adorable 2 year old niece. I've seen her once a week at least since she was born and now I'm moving from the east coast to the he Midwest. It's not as far away as some of you guys are moving but it's a 12 hour drive.

Part of the reason I chose my new program is because of the awesome department environment. I really click with my new potential advisors and with of the current students in the program. It is the absolute perfect program for me in every way. I am still sad to leave though! Thank goodness my dogs are coming with me. I couldn't handle leaving them too.