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Posted

I always read my fortune cookie fortunes. The one I had today said, "You deserve respect and you will eventually get it."

 

Wow. Okay. I guess I should be patient then!

 

Have you had any good/funny/weird/timely ones lately?

Posted

My favorite is now posted on the door to my lab to greet me in the morning:

 

"Today is probably a huge improvement over yesterday."

 

I like the combination of optimisim and hedging there.

Posted

I have a whole fortune cookie ritual.

 

Break cookie, eat first half of cookie. Then read fortune.. if you commit to the fortune presented you eat the rest of the cookie. If you reject the fortune, you're going to have to hold on to it - the paper - and not eat the rest of the cookie. You have to take the fortune and nail it to a cherry tree when it blossoms to rid yourself of the malevolent or disagreeable fortune.

 

I have no idea where I learned this or why I do it, but I do. As yet, I've not needed to resort to nailing anything to a tree, but I've kept it in mind every time I crack open a cookie.

 

That said.. today's fortune:

 

"Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises."

Posted (edited)

 You have to take the fortune and nail it to a cherry tree when it blossoms to rid yourself of the malevolent or disagreeable fortune.

Those poor cherry trees.  Holes through the bark and into the phloem like that are what let in the fungal spores that develop into the infections that kill trees. It can take years or decades, but fungal infections are the ultimate cause of death for a surprisingly large proportion of ornamentals and fruit trees. Would it hurt your ritual to target, say an invasive tree? This article has a handy list on page 794 to guide your hammer blows: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1472-4642.2011.00782.x/pdf. Or if you live west of the Mississippi, feel free to target these East Coast interlopers: http://www.nrcs.usda.gov/wps/portal/nrcs/detail/national/technical/nra/nri/?cid=stelprdb1041705.

Edited by Usmivka
Posted

"Though breakfast be good, dinner is better"

"If you do not kill a man outright, he will live to be your enemy"

Fortune cookies that give you chinese proverbs instead of fortunes are terrible. 

Posted

I once got "Someone is watching you." Maybe it was meant like "watching over me" but that was not what I wanted to hear as a young female living alone. And yeah what do those lucky numbers mean?

Posted

I always thought the lucky numbers are supposed to be like...lottery ticket purchase suggestions. OR MAYBE IT IS CODE AND SOMEONE OR SOMETHING IS TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH US!

Guest Gnome Chomsky
Posted

My best friend told me to always add "in bed" at the end and it just makes the whole fortune better. It is definitely true. 

 

"You will get murdered... in bed." 

 

I don't think it works. 

Posted

Well so I got this today!

" Everything has beauty but not everyone can see it."

So if I add in bed like Corruptedinnocence suggests it!

" Everything has beauty but not everyone can see it....in bed" :/

Nope definitely not better. :|

Posted

I have noticed a disturbing trend in fortune cookies.  Oftentimes, I receive not fortunes, but wisdom.  As an avid purchaser of chinese food I find this to be both distressing and unsatisfying.  I wonder, has anyone else noticed this?

 

P.S. Relevant good and relevant short film -

Posted

Well so I got this today!

" Everything has beauty but not everyone can see it."

So if I add in bed like Corruptedinnocence suggests it!

" Everything has beauty but not everyone can see it....in bed" :/

Nope definitely not better. :|

Lol I think it was pretty good.  Thats just me personally :) 

Posted

Lol I think it was pretty good.  Thats just me personally :)

Oh well if you look from a philosophical angle. It does seem better. More like on the lines of, umm, if you spend time in your bed lasting around, you won't get to appreciate things.

Or

Maybe I am totally bonkers with the pending admissions. Sigh.

Posted

A number of years ago, my mom got a BLANK fortune. She thought it was hilarious, but I immediately recognized the menacing omen that had been presented to her in cookie form.

 

Years later, she completely fine.

Posted

When I first starting dating my now husband long distance (many, many moons ago) we both received fortunes that said "you enjoy organized sports" - from different Chinese places in different states.  Its not the only reason I decided to marry him but clearly a sign….

 

My best, or at least most QoK appropriate fortune ever just said "Don't Panic!"

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