Application Anxiety Thread

[SLPH2b]

Up until last week I was sitting at about a 4 on the scale from 1-5. Now I am officially freaking out. I'm at the point where I am obsessed with checking my email, the program website, the results page here, results search page, back to checking my email, and then reading everything I can find on how to get accepted into graduate school (just short of begging). I can barely pull myself away from my laptop.

 

Based on the results page from last year, I might find out all of my program decisions within the next three weeks. If I am going to do anything else to make an impact on their decisions (visit campus, meet professors, send out emails) then I need to do it now while ad-com deliberations are in progress.

 

Oh yeah, I'm also totally overthinking things! lol

 

I thought about emailing, as well, but then I decided not to for the reason that I don't want them to think I'm begging them. Sure I want them to take a closer look at my application and really consider me, but what if you end up rubbing them the wrong way by sending them an email? 

[ImpulsiveNixie]

I thought about emailing, as well, but then I decided not to for the reason that I don't want them to think I'm begging them. Sure I want them to take a closer look at my application and really consider me, but what if you end up rubbing them the wrong way by sending them an email? 

 

To second this: It could be an email to someone who doesn't even sit on the committee and they are aren't going to forward the information on to someone that does. Besides, excessive emails and phone calls annoy the committee. Campus visits help but it is also very late to be planning that because many campus require way-in-advance notice. 

 

You have strong stats. Your GPA improved with your Post-Bacc and your experience, I'm sure, helps you. You've got this! 

Edited February 28, 2014 by ImpulsiveNixie

[arthritiskid]

My anxiety levels are shooting through the roof!

[DeafAudi]

@autismadvocate, I just wanted to chime in to say that even I have been on the receiving end of that dreaded "you're so cute!" I don't really understand it because I don't look physically different from anyone else in any way yet when some people find out I'm deaf, that is what they come up with, lol. People are weird.

 

@ballerina18, I get you, this is maddening. However, I would not email anyone. If anything you can unofficially visit the campus without expecting to meet anyone and if you do, then great! This is an incredibly busy time of the year for faculty and especially the admissions committee; it will only annoy them if you push it. autismadvocate is right that there is nothing we can do at this point so just sit back and try to think about something else. Hugs! 

[autismadvocate]

@autismadvocate, I just wanted to chime in to say that even I have been on the receiving end of that dreaded "you're so cute!" I don't really understand it because I don't look physically different from anyone else in any way yet when some people find out I'm deaf, that is what they come up with, lol. People are weird.

 

@ballerina18, I get you, this is maddening. However, I would not email anyone. If anything you can unofficially visit the campus without expecting to meet anyone and if you do, then great! This is an incredibly busy time of the year for faculty and especially the admissions committee; it will only annoy them if you push it. autismadvocate is right that there is nothing we can do at this point so just sit back and try to think about something else. Hugs! 

 

Yeah, I thought of you when I posted it - kind of hoped you hadn't experienced it for your sake, but it seems to be a universal thing in the community. You could an amputee in a wheelchair and all of a sudden, despite your legs having NOTHING TO DO with your intelligence level (nor hearing loss nor autism, but laypeople are really uninformed and don't always know those) it's like your IQ is perceived to drop fifty points because you have a disability. It's ridiculous. Talking to you guys about this has actually inspired me to write a blog post, I'll put it up here for you guys to read when I'm done. :)

Edited February 28, 2014 by autismadvocate

[DeafAudi]

Yeah, I thought of you when I posted it - kind of hoped you hadn't experienced it for your sake, but it seems to be a universal thing in the community. You could an amputee in a wheelchair and all of a sudden, despite your legs having NOTHING TO DO with your intelligence level (nor hearing loss nor autism, but laypeople are really uninformed and don't always know those) it's like your IQ is perceived to drop fifty points because you have a disability. It's ridiculous. Talking to you guys about this has actually inspired me to write a blog post, I'll put it up here for you guys to read when I'm done. :)

 

You're so right--even people with obvious disabilities experience this. I can't wait to read your blog post! 

[autismadvocate]

You're so right--even people with obvious disabilities experience this. I can't wait to read your blog post! 

 

I'll post it as soon as my sister reads through and approves it. :) On another note, someone questioned my sister's ability to have children recently on account of her autism. Before they said that, Caley had said there were a lot of similarities between the autism community's fight for rights and the Deaf community's and the person responded saying there were no similarities...and then said my sister wouldn't be a good parent because she 'wouldn't be able to read the subtle differences in the child's crying'. I couldn't help but think (and I hope this has never been used against you) that people had almost used a similar argument (except for not hearing the child cry at all) against parents with hearing loss. It made me very, very sad to think about.   People will look for any excuse to find areas where people with disabilities are supposedly lacking. Autistic parents (generally undiagnosed) and deaf parents have been raising children just fine for generations, but all people do is try to find examples of incompetence (questionable in this case) as opposed to competence. It's sad.

[arthritiskid]

@deafaudi and @autismadvocate

 

It makes me so upset when people think that if you have a disability, you're so much less competent to do normal things. Of course, I don't understand what it is like to be deaf or to have autism, but I do have rheumatoid arthritis and have experienced people thinking that I am incapable of certain things. It is just so frustrating sometimes. If anything, people with disabilities can do things better because they know how to put forth an effort and don't take things for granted! Sorry, that was a little bit of a rant!

[DeafAudi]

Your sister is correct that there are similarities between the autism and Deaf community's fight for rights, mainly because both disorders affect communication. I can't believe someone actually said that to her! That is the very height of ignorance. I haven't personally been questioned on my ability to have children but I have certainly heard about it from friends in the Deaf community. What people don't realize is that there are a lot of technologies and people adapt. We've been adapting our entire lives so why would child rearing be any different? I just shake my head  , haha. 

 

ETA: @arthritiskid, I tried to upvote you but alas, I've ran out of positive votes for the day. Grad cafe must think I'm excessively positive, lol. 

Edited February 28, 2014 by DeafAudi

[SweetPea21]

It is soooo mean to keep receiving emails from the schools I applied to only to read that it has NOTHING to do with acceptances or the program. Sheesh, stop giving me the mini heart attacks already or I'm not going to survive much longer

[autismadvocate]

The blog article's up! Caley LOVED and approved it wholeheartedly. Here's the link to our FB page where I posted it. DeafAudi thanks, because you helped inspire me to extend the message to the whole disability community. (arthritiskid, you inspire me, too, only I didn't see your post until after I wrote the essay!) Please read and share because in this, as in everything, I'm thinking bigger picture, and every person who reads this I think of as just another person who will treat Caley, and you guys, DeafAudi and arthritiskid, and our future patients, and everyone in the disability community at large the way you all deserve to be treated: with respect.

https://www.facebook.com/autismspectrumexplained/posts/266340446876968

 

Let me know what you guys think!

 

On another note, DeafAudi, I upvoted arthritiskid for you. Totally agreed, arthritiskid, you're preaching to the choir! DeafAudi, the person that made that particular argument to her did so online. She called me crying, asking me if it was true that she would be a bad mother and shouldn't have children and I ripped apart the argument for her, but it just sucks she has to deal with that. That's not the only instance - she's been explicitly told her entire life that she shouldn't have children because she has autism. (And that she shouldn't/couldn't be in mainstream classes, be in Honors classes, be in AP classes, live away from home....the list goes on and on and on.)

[PsycD]

It is soooo mean to keep receiving emails from the schools I applied to only to read that it has NOTHING to do with acceptances or the program. Sheesh, stop giving me the mini heart attacks already or I'm not going to survive much longer

 

I am convinced that every Uni has a Committee of Cruelty whose primary purpose is to come up with new ways to torture its applicants...the classic email-of-no-significance is one of their favorite devices. 

[DeafAudi]

I read it and loved it! I also "liked" your Facebook page . Clearly Caley has proven all of those people wrong (and will continue to do so). My parents were told that I would never speak intelligibly, read past a grade 4 level, attend college, etc etc. And these were so-called "professionals" in the field. I think that the world is becoming more and more accepting and knowledgeable of disabilities. At least, I hope so. People like you and your sister are a big part of this  .

 

Ps @SweetPea21, I got an email a while ago from one of my programs saying "Congratulations!...." only to go on to state that my application materials had been received . If only we could block all irrelevant emails.

Edited February 28, 2014 by DeafAudi

[autismadvocate]

Many professionals are still behind the times in the autism world. Case in point - after two hours of knowing the boy and not even doing an IQ test, a psychologist told a family I work with that their son was mentally retarded...I know better, the kid's actually pretty bright and crafty as anything, lol, but it's just ridiculous the psych thought he knew that from just having watched the kid hang out in his office - obviously the psych made assumptions based on stereotypes about people with classic autism. But they're less far behind now (when my sister was first diagnosed, they were still telling mothers that their lack of maternal affection caused their child's autism). We have a long way to go, though...

 

And thanks for the like!

[twinguy7]

MARCH IS HERE!!!    

[Sammehh]

Does anyone else feel a little relief on the weekends? I feel like it's not likely for me to hear anything on Saturday or Sunday, and it's such a nice break from waiting.

[DeafAudi]

MARCH IS HERE!!!    

 

YES!!!!!!! haha. 

[twinguy7]

Does anyone else feel a little relief on the weekends? I feel like it's not likely for me to hear anything on Saturday or Sunday, and it's such a nice break from waiting.

 

I agree...  Saturday and Sunday are such a stress relief....  Then monday morning comes.....   lol

[plmgis]

Does anyone else feel a little relief on the weekends? I feel like it's not likely for me to hear anything on Saturday or Sunday, and it's such a nice break from waiting.

Yes!  I was so unproductive all day yesterday, and I realized it was because I didn't have class but it was still a weekday so I was on pins and needles thinking I might hear something.  Every "ping" of an email arriving results in a mini heart attack for me these days.

Edited March 1, 2014 by plmgis

[arthritiskid]

Does anyone else feel a little relief on the weekends? I feel like it's not likely for me to hear anything on Saturday or Sunday, and it's such a nice break from waiting.

 

Yes I do feel relief! I'm so much less anxious to check my email or the portals! Though I do still have anxiety for the week to come!

[skeener687]

Yes! I was so unproductive all day yesterday, and I realized it was because I didn't have class but it was still a weekday so I was on pins and needles thinking I might hear something. Every "ping" of an email arriving results in a mini heart attack for me these days.

I completely relate to the "ping" of an email and a mini heart attack! Lol As I'm sure many, if not most of us, do! I get so mad at Groupon for sending me so many emails and getting my hopes up! (I normally enjoy getting those emails, but not during app season!)

Edited March 1, 2014 by skeener687

[plmgis]

I completely relate to the "ping" of an email and a mini heart attack! Lol As I'm sure many, if not most of us, do! I get so mad at Groupon for sending me so many emails and getting my hopes up! (I normally enjoy getting those emails, but not during app season!)

Haha yeah, the whole email thing has actually made me proactive about unsubscribing from a bunch of random newsletters/promotional listservs that I didn't care for much anyway.. at least by the end of admissions season I'll have a less cluttered inbox for it

[PsycD]

MARCH IS HERE!!!

Yessssssssss!!! This has been the most wonderfully-awful-exciting-excruciatingly nerve-wracking time of my life...and I'm hate-loving every minute of it. :-)

Edited March 1, 2014 by PsycD

[ImpulsiveNixie]

I just have to say that I am really excited about this forum because all of you understand the anxiety and the work that has been put into this field. We are all understanding of how competitive it is and what an accomplishment it is to be accepted into a program. In my outside life very few understand the accomplishment. I just want you all to know that you all have worked hard and no matter what March brings you have worked your butt off - so rejoice in that feat!!

[tchris]

First acceptance!  Now I can relax.