Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[avflinsch]

Biggest gripe this week -
People who cannot park their cars anyway near correctly.

I currently drive a small car (Mini Cooper), and when I pull into a spot, there is always plenty of room on either side, and in front of me. I also never completely pull into spot - if I did, cars cruising the lot for a space would think the spot is empty and try to pull in behind me. I am not overhanging anything.

At least 5 times over the past week, folks driving giant monstrosities have parked next to me, leaving barely enough room for me to open one of my car doors so that I (or my passenger) could get in when I tried to leave.

 

I have nothing against big cars  - I actually like them and have a big old Mercury sitting in my garage, but if you are going to drive something that big, please learn how to park the beast.

[GCool]

I'm afraid to take a side on any argument because I don't know when white privilege comes into play. Does it always, because I'm always white (and therefore privileged)? Political correctness has never seemed so oppressive.

[ChocoLatte]

I have $2.53 in my bank account and three past-due credit accounts until tomorrow when I get paid a tiny paycheck.  Colleagues and the faculty mostly don't understand because they have a second household income--I do too but he's an adjunct and only just recently dug himself out of his own grad school debt hole, so I've been paying rent and bills for us both here.

 

I have spent so much of the last few weeks meticulously cleaning my stuff and packing away the kitchen and bathroom because we (finally and inevitably) got german cockroaches in the apartment.  Good news here is that it seems to be working.  Bad news is that we can't really cook or anything so eating is very expensive

 

I turned in a sub-par teaching portfolio for a final grade and hope to just get a B.

 

The deadline for the first polished draft of my thesis is tonight.  It isn't happening.  In fact, it's so far from happening, that I had to call a crisis hotline last night when I had an emotional breakdown. (Bonus: turns out it's run by Christians and I got a lot of really religious stuff which I'm sure helps some but I am atheist and queer and it was just a really horrible experience on top of it all) I will now fail my independent study (the department doesn't have the most lenient record for incomplete's and I honestly don't even think I can ask for one).  Bonus: I am a compulsive liar and my committee chair thinks and has thought that it's been completed for a week now.  

So I need to somehow tell my chair that I lied and no it isn't done and I don't even know how to do that?

(I have been diagnosed with and seeking treatment for depression and will be going to talk to someone about a learning disability.  I just wish that I had been told I could seek help sooner than graduate school.  Drs think I've gone un-diagnosed for a decade.  The depression causes the compulsive lying which causes stress and anxiety and makes the depression worse, rinse and repeat.)

 

i have been unable to attend therapy sessions lately and my medication ran out--the manufacturer has problems and the closes shop that has it in stock is 45 minutes away and i cant even seem to get into my dr's to get an alternative med until spring semester now, months away

 

I don't have SDS documentation because I was told there is nothing you can do for grad students who need mental illness accommodations--you either meet the deadline or you don't.  For the most part, I've met deadlines and been an ok student.  3.3GPA right now.  I can always make up the credits next semester by taking another class--I'm 36 pages into the thesis already and it will be done by the end of December.  It's just failing the independent study...and only now has someone told me that maybe an SDS accommodation is actually doable

 

& then my mind takes me to the fact that I've already been told that I don't have dept support for a phd program and may have difficulty getting letters so now I'm also stuck looking for a job this winter because it's clear that, for now, my academic career is over. i dont even think i'd get into a second masters program...

 

except I don't qualify for any jobs in the area and cant really afford to move again at all

and I have no family here to fall back on financially (they're 1300 mi away)

my partner's request for a pardon was rejected after almost two years of waiting which is heartbreaking and infuriating and has huge financial implications for us because florida isn't the friendliest state for convicts (no felonies, no violent crime, all over 7 years old...but he's already been refused employment here multiple times)

 

i have one semester and the rest of my thesis left but i honestly just want to quit (which is a step up from last night because i wanted to quit life entirely); all it's done is identity that i have mental health issues and make them so bad that i've been unable to function

 

on the more shallow venting notes:

 

i've slept for 12 hours total in the past 5 days and feel like death incarnate 

i've also gained 35lbs since starting the program

a student that did subpar research (not being bitter, it literally never would have passed if she had a more assertive committee) with a lot more assistance than anyone else has had everything handed to her and just that on top of everything has me so angry and frustrated because my partner and i have tried so hard and struggled so much and nothing is going our way at all

 

I'm sorry for dumping this here but I apparently have no one to talk to and Google has failed me; I can't find resources or bloggers talking about what they've done for this or anything at all.

I don't know.  I thoroughly regret ever going to graduate school.  I adore my friends that I've made, the new place I live, and the department is mostly a good one but it's done me more harm than good for what seems like no pay-off.

[dr. t]

I'm afraid to take a side on any argument because I don't know when white privilege comes into play. Does it always, because I'm always white (and therefore privileged)? Political correctness has never seemed so oppressive.

 

http://www.robot-hugs.com/comics/2014-02-24-Privilege.png

[GCool]

http://www.robot-hugs.com/comics/2014-02-24-Privilege.png

 

Wow, that was great! That makes me feel a lot better.

[shadowclaw]

Errrg. Got an A- in a class and missed an A by a few measly points. It wouldn't bother me so much if the online quizzes weren't screwed up. Everyone in the class lots several points because the grading system wasn't set up right... some right answers were marked wrong, some quizzes didn't even show the grade after we took them, some just plain had the wrong grade. Ugh. I realize there isn't much difference between an A and an A-, but it still aggravates me because it's not my fault.

[VulpesZerda]

Errrg. Got an A- in a class and missed an A by a few measly points. It wouldn't bother me so much if the online quizzes weren't screwed up. Everyone in the class lots several points because the grading system wasn't set up right... some right answers were marked wrong, some quizzes didn't even show the grade after we took them, some just plain had the wrong grade. Ugh. I realize there isn't much difference between an A and an A-, but it still aggravates me because it's not my fault.

I once emailed a professor because I calculated my grade to be a B+ and he gave me a B. I was kind of embarrassed but am glad I did (because I was right!). If it were the question of an A I would care even more!

[ERR_Alpha]

That privilege image is everything I try to explain but can't ever find the words. Privilege is only bad if you refuse to recognize it. Use your privilege powers for good!

Edited December 12, 2014 by ERR_Alpha

[shadowclaw]

I once emailed a professor because I calculated my grade to be a B+ and he gave me a B. I was kind of embarrassed but am glad I did (because I was right!). If it were the question of an A I would care even more!

 

I have e-mailed a professor before about a grade. When I was an undergraduate, I received an A- for my senior seminar course, when I got perfect scores on everything that was given back to us. This meant I had to have screwed up either my presentation or my paper for the course, both of which I thought I did fantastic on. I ended up e-mailing her, she said she's look into it, and never got back to me. Then one day during the next semester I saw that she changed the grade.

 

I am really tempted to e-mail this professor because the online quizzes really weren't entirely fair. The whole concept of an online quiz is a bit silly to me since it's open book, and on top of that he allowed multiple attempts at the quizzes (and the system would tell us what questions we got wrong after we took it). So for two quizzes, neither the grade nor any questions we got wrong showed up. We asked him to fix it, he said he did, and that he'd take the situation into account when calculating final grades. I got a 90 on one and an 84 on the other... had I actually been able to see my wrong answers from the first try, I would have changed them and I would have an A right now.

 

However, at the same time, I am hesitant, because we got full credit for a class project that we didn't do. Our plants died before we could finish and there wasn't enough time to start over, and rather than eliminate the project from the grade, he just gave us full credit (which I'm sure boosted several final grades in the class). Since the project was worth a lot of points, I think that if he hadn't included it, I may have ended up with an A- even with a perfect quiz score. So I feel that if I complain about quizzes not being fair, then I should also be complaining about the project not being fair, either. I don't know. The grade truly does not matter. My transcripts have already been sent out (not that an A- would make a difference anyway), so potential PhD programs aren't going to know that I got an A- in a course. It really just annoys me because I needed just a few points to bump me up to an A. My average was 92.7%

[1Q84]

Why do some schools not have online tracking pages for application materials? It's 2014, people! I don't want to waste admin assistant's time with "did you guys get my ___?" questions.

[GCool]

Why do some schools not have online tracking pages for application materials? It's 2014, people! I don't want to waste admin assistant's time with "did you guys get my ___?" questions.

 

Right?! It should be leaps and bounds easier than UPS tracking systems, and they have it down. Higher learning my ass.

[GradHooting]

Here's a rant.  This will probably be offensive, so I will try to make it as nice as possible.  Grad school is an opportunity to mingle with people of many different nationalities, which is fantastic.  I have found, however, that this mingling does not happen very often, and nationalities tend to keep to themselves in separate groups.  While disappointing, I normally can find a group of US citizens and hang/talk with them.  However, in my graduate research group, I am the only US Citizen (this is a US School).  Everyone else is from China and South Korea, and the language barriers are infuriating.  On top of that, we are completely blind to each other's mannerisms and jokes.  My attempts to socialize with people from China and South Korea are immensely hindered by this insularity, a sort that I do not see among the groups of students from India, with whom I collaborate frequently.

 

I just want another person with whom I can relate in my research group.  But with each year, there seems to be yet another massive round of what-seems-like 80% China/Korea.  I wouldn't be so bothered if their culture wasn't so insular.  I've been doing all of my socializing outside of campus, now.  It is actually nice to have a group of friends completely unrelated to schooling.  I wish it wasn't the only group I had, but there are just so few Americans in my field of study.  It is so insular that I first learned of the existence of a new first-year student, whose office is in the same room, on the day of his final exam, of which I was proctoring for the class.

 

I am very tempted to somehow take on learning Mandarin Chinese because I truly feel like I am in a foreign land.  Also, not being able to collaborate and communicate with anyone in my research group makes me feel incredibly lonely.

[victorydance]

If you are attending a US school I find it incredibly hard to believe that the language barrier is that difficult to overcome. 

[ss2player]

Here's a rant.  This will probably be offensive, so I will try to make it as nice as possible.  Grad school is an opportunity to mingle with people of many different nationalities, which is fantastic.  I have found, however, that this mingling does not happen very often, and nationalities tend to keep to themselves in separate groups.  While disappointing, I normally can find a group of US citizens and hang/talk with them.  However, in my graduate research group, I am the only US Citizen (this is a US School).  Everyone else is from China and South Korea, and the language barriers are infuriating.  On top of that, we are completely blind to each other's mannerisms and jokes.  My attempts to socialize with people from China and South Korea are immensely hindered by this insularity, a sort that I do not see among the groups of students from India, with whom I collaborate frequently.

 

I just want another person with whom I can relate in my research group.  But with each year, there seems to be yet another massive round of what-seems-like 80% China/Korea.  I wouldn't be so bothered if their culture wasn't so insular.  I've been doing all of my socializing outside of campus, now.  It is actually nice to have a group of friends completely unrelated to schooling.  I wish it wasn't the only group I had, but there are just so few Americans in my field of study.  It is so insular that I first learned of the existence of a new first-year student, whose office is in the same room, on the day of his final exam, of which I was proctoring for the class.

 

I am very tempted to somehow take on learning Mandarin Chinese because I truly feel like I am in a foreign land.  Also, not being able to collaborate and communicate with anyone in my research group makes me feel incredibly lonely.

 

That's rough, my sympathies. I'm not offended by this, but maybe think of it this way: if the situation were reversed and you were studying at a Chinese university, wouldn't you naturally seek out other Americans and converse in English with them? You'd be in a very different culture and cling to whatever familiarity you could find. Doesn't make it any easier on you, but remember how fortunate you are to be surrounded by relatable people every time you're in public, as opposed to the opposite, which is what these people are feeling ALL THE TIME.

[jbeld]

The WHOLE Harvard GSAS page is DOWN, my deadline is TOMORROW and I need to check their transcript requirements AHHHHH

[dr. t]

It's working for me?

[commodork]

The WHOLE Harvard GSAS page is DOWN, my deadline is TOMORROW and I need to check their transcript requirements AHHHHH

Here's the fix: use chrome, after a while there'll be an error screen with some hyperlink text that says something about a cached page. That fixed it for me. 

 

 

 

EDIT: see here! http://imgur.com/a/DSFzs

Edited December 15, 2014 by commodork

[jbeld]

Here's the fix: use chrome, after a while there'll be an error screen with some hyperlink text that says something about a cached page. That fixed it for me. 

 

 

 

EDIT: see here! http://imgur.com/a/DSFzs

 

Thank you!!

 

EDIT: Okay, that's not the error message I'm getting... I got:

Google Chrome could not load the webpage because www.gsas.harvard.edutook too long to respond. The website may be down, or you may be experiencing issues with your Internet connection.

Check your Internet connection

Check any cables and reboot any routers, modems, or other network devices you may be using.

Allow Chrome to access the network in your firewall or antivirus settings.

If it is already listed as a program allowed to access the network, try removing it from the list and adding it again.

If you use a proxy server...

Check your proxy settings or contact your network administrator to make sure the proxy server is working. If you don't believe you should be using a proxy server: Go to Applications > System Preferences > Network > Advanced > Proxies and deselect any proxies that have been selected.

Error code: ERR_TIMED_OUT

Edited December 15, 2014 by jbeld

[commodork]

 

Thank you!!

 

EDIT: Okay, that's not the error message I'm getting... I got:

Google Chrome could not load the webpage because www.gsas.harvard.edutook too long to respond. The website may be down, or you may be experiencing issues with your Internet connection.

Check your Internet connection

Check any cables and reboot any routers, modems, or other network devices you may be using.

Allow Chrome to access the network in your firewall or antivirus settings.

If it is already listed as a program allowed to access the network, try removing it from the list and adding it again.

If you use a proxy server...

Check your proxy settings or contact your network administrator to make sure the proxy server is working. If you don't believe you should be using a proxy server: Go to Applications > System Preferences > Network > Advanced > Proxies and deselect any proxies that have been selected.

Error code: ERR_TIMED_OUT

 

 

 

I've been playing around with it some more - deleting your cookies for the site seems to do the trick! Try that!

[MoJingly]

 

I'm sorry for dumping this here but I apparently have no one to talk to and Google has failed me; I can't find resources or bloggers talking about what they've done for this or anything at all.

I don't know.  I thoroughly regret ever going to graduate school.  I adore my friends that I've made, the new place I live, and the department is mostly a good one but it's done me more harm than good for what seems like no pay-off.

 

I'm surprised nobody has replied to this post already.  

 

Rooting for you ChocoLatte.  Grad school is definitely not for the faint-of-heart and we have all gone through periods where we want to quit.  (if you do find that you continually want to quit BIGGER things though... like life.... do consider a re-prioritization of your thought process.  Your health should be a priority.  Not grad school!) 

 

Try to do things to keep your mind off work every so often. Fingerpaint.  Bake. It doesn't have to involve money.  Always good to remind yourself that there is life outside the bubble, because it is easy to forget when you focus for so long. :-)

[GCool]

I'm surprised nobody has replied to this post already.  

 

I didn't really know what to say exactly. I'm glad you could articulate what I was thinking, though.

 

Try playing drums, ChocoLatte! I need a drummer for my band. We could make a GradCafe studio death metal group.

[dr. t]

Tënürë Träck

[uselesstheory]

I am essentially ghostwriting a friend's chapter in a volume about a very specific topic that I have theorized and re-theorized; because I have experience writing about this topic, my friend asked for my help, and although I am enjoying being able to freely write on something not connected with my formal academic studies, I have realized that my contributions are quite significant and theoretically strong, and I feel as if my friend is essentially stealing my work. 

 

I don't know if I should demand credit or if the fact that the work is so far out of my field and that my relationship with my friend may seem odd to the larger academic realm in which I may end up very soon makes it more of a "for fun" type of thing, even if it will end up in a book, with my friend's name and my ideas....

 

The problem is that once I get sucked into a project, intellectually, I can't extract myself from it, so I can't easily stop thinking about the theoretical work I've done and can't easily stop developing it further.

 

Is my work being stolen? Am I just letting it happen? Blah.

[grad_wannabe]

 

Is my work being stolen? Am I just letting it happen? Blah.

 

You should address this, make sure you're given a byline. I once had a friend ask for my "help" writing her MFA thesis. I was just happy to contribute, I liked her work and enjoyed writing about it. I wrote several chapters, just assuming I'd be credited. 

 

Well, later she got it published as a huge shiny coffee-table book. Didn't change a single word of what I'd written. I wasn't credited anywhere. Not even in the dang acknowledgements. 

[shadowclaw]

You should address this, make sure you're given a byline. I once had a friend ask for my "help" writing her MFA thesis. I was just happy to contribute, I liked her work and enjoyed writing about it. I wrote several chapters, just assuming I'd be credited.

Well, later she got it published as a huge shiny coffee-table book. Didn't change a single word of what I'd written. I wasn't credited anywhere. Not even in the dang acknowledgements.

This would aggravate me to no end. I'd be 90 years old and still going on about how I wasn't credited for all the work I did. Although I admit that I am very sensitive to not getting the recognition I think I deserve.

For example, I worked with two other students and a professor on a project for the fish commission a few years ago during undergrad. I wasn't very knowledgeable about fish, but I was pretty handy with GIS and getting in contact with people to obtain permission to access streams from their land. So I made maps for like 90% of the places we were going, and they ended up being really helpful, especially the ones with aerial photography. Another kid on that project, who had taken 2 semesters of GIS coursework and was the tutor for both courses, was responsible for the rest (because he claimed to be familiar with the area). He ended up just printing out some Google maps that were pretty useless, and he would text me at 11:00 the night before to get help with them.

Flash forward to last summer. He put on Facebook that he got a job with a local environmental group doing GIS work for them. I "like" the group on Facebook, and they posted a link to the announcement that he was hired. There was a paragraph describing his previous GIS experience, and it went on and on about how he did all of this GIS mapping for the fish commission project and that the project would never have succeeded without his GIS expertise.

It was all complete bull, and he probably knew he could get away with it because 1) I was heading to grad school and wouldn't be applying for that job, and 2) it's not like if I found out that I'd call the place up and rat him out. It still really makes me mad that he got a job almost entirely based on work that I did (although I'm sure his GIS coursework played a role). He ended up quitting a few months later to work for an environmental consulting company that paid way better, and I wonder if he told them the same bull.

Edited December 17, 2014 by shadowclaw