Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[spectastic]

i love riding motorcycles. so fun to have the wind in your face. It's almost as liberating as riding a bicycle. also easier to wrench, cheaper insurance, easy to find parking, cool AF. safety is usually not an issue if you have taken the safety course, and try to stay out of busy, highly congested areas during rush hour. 

[spectastic]

how to passive aggressively deal with dipshit roommate leaving month long dirty dishes in the sink, and lying through his teeth about it not being his.

[Cheshire_Cat]

The school is going to pay me to teach this summer.   However, they are also charging  me $500 in fees for the privilege.

[kimmibeans]

Seriously? That's totally stupid.

[kimmibeans]

My boyfriend's cousin and her friend are in town, and this morning he asked me if I'd like to go out for dinner and drinks with them, to which I said yes. It's now getting late and I haven't heard from him. I've been trying to get a hold of him for 2 hours and he is totally unresponsive. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have other things to do and I don't want to start something I can't finish, like laundry. It doesn't help that I'm starving but because I don't know what's going on I don't want to grab anything to eat. It wouldn't bother me so much if this wasn't a consistent problem. Usually it's not that he's purposely ignoring me or anything, 90% of the time he's asleep or doesn't have his phone with him, but it's really annoying. He's gotten better over the years about it, but it is still super frustrating.

[marycaryne]

Oh my gosh, major vent here. It's a bit lengthy, but I just need to spill.

I graduated with my bachelor's last month. Because of having a family and working full time, I did my degree online. So we traveled to go to my graduation. We live in OKC, and my family, who was also going, lives in Chicago. We drove all night to Chicago arriving on a Thursday and we were all flying out at 6am on Friday. We told them we needed to be on the way to their airport no later than 3:30am. While my husband and I had ourselves, our 7 and 6 year old children, and all our stuff ready to go, they were taking their sweet time. We kept getting on them, but we weren't on the road until about 4am. Mind you, they are not children...it's my parents (in their mid 50s), my 26 year old brother, my 22 year old sister, and my 17 year old brother. We get into O'Hare and the security line is insane and going slow. So we tell them we absolutely must run to our gate once we get through. No walking, it needed to be a run because we were at the last gate. Did any of them run? Nope. They walked. And not even a really fast walk. Just a more quickened pace than a stroll. We missed our flight. I was ready to break down crying but we were beyond lucky that the next flight an hour later had enough seats for all of us. They had a mess up with the rental car place because neither of my parents bothered to listen to any of the information I repeatedly told them over the last several months, nor did they read any of the fine print. After sitting and waiting for them to stop their arguing with the agent, we were finally on our way.

I had an academic awards ceremony that night with a reception afterwards. My mom spent almost the entire reception gushing over ANOTHER graduate and her accomplishment. Neither of my parents even congratulated me or took a picture with me. Yet my dad, who is a hobby photographer, got plenty of pictures of this other graduate and had me get her email to send the pictures to her.

Graduation was on that Saturday. I told them I had to be there at 1pm and if they wanted a decent seat, they should arrive at the same time. Plenty of agreements all around. At 12:40 I knocked on their hotel door and no one is fully ready. I told them we have to go and my mom said to go on ahead, she is just going to finish her eye makeup and they will be right behind us. Ok cool. My husband drops me off and goes to park. Soon before the graduation starts, he is texting me saying that none of my family is responding to his calls or texts. Apparently they finally showed up JUST as the lights dimmed...because they decided to go to McDonald's. When my kids had to use the bathroom, none of them wanted to help my husband out so he could stay and actually watch the ceremony. After the ceremony, I excitedly went out to find my family. My husband and kids were there very happily greeting me. The rest of my family was nowhere to be found. My husband said they left and told us to text them when deciding on a place to eat. I immediately called and asked why they weren't there because I was excited to see them. My dad goes "oh I didn't think we were allowed." So the tons of people waiting outside was an indication they weren't allowed to wait outside? So again, no pictures with my family.

We met up at the hotel and my dad seemed annoyed that I had asked him to take just one picture of me with my husband and kids in my cap and gown. None of my family members seemed interested in getting pictures with me. I just picked some fast food place for dinner and pretty much none of my family spoke to me...they were more interested in their other conversations, and my siblings left to go back to their room to watch tv. I spent the evening mostly quiet as my dad rambled on about something to my husband.

The next morning they were to fly back to Chicago with our children while my husband and I stayed behind since we were flying to Paris the day after that. My husband stressed that to avoid the mishap of Friday, we were leaving with even more time to spare. We gave them a "must leave" time. We are waiting in the lobby and the time comes and none of them are with us. They come down several minutes past and my dad tells me that he and my mom are going to Starbucks across the street (nevermind there is free coffee in the lobby). My husband and I try to contain our anger. Fortunately everyone gets there in time and they get back to Chicago without further problem.

But the entire ride to their airport I was crying. I was the first in my family to graduate. Being in my mid-30s obviously meant I waited a long time for this day. And none of them cared. The "I'm so proud of you" mantras they kept posting on Facebook were all for show. I told my husband that when I graduate from grad school, they aren't invited. Simple as that. They don't deserve to be part of that celebration.

Oh, and while my dad is busy posting his well edited pictures of bugs on Facebook and has already emailed the other graduate the pics he took of her, I have yet to see the single picture he took of me from graduation.

At least Paris was awesome!

Ok, that feels somewhat better to get out. Major kudos to you if you made it through.

[hippyscientist]

1 hour ago, marycaryne said:

Oh my gosh, major vent here. It's a bit lengthy, but I just need to spill.

I graduated with my bachelor's last month. Because of having a family and working full time, I did my degree online. So we traveled to go to my graduation. We live in OKC, and my family, who was also going, lives in Chicago. We drove all night to Chicago arriving on a Thursday and we were all flying out at 6am on Friday. We told them we needed to be on the way to their airport no later than 3:30am. While my husband and I had ourselves, our 7 and 6 year old children, and all our stuff ready to go, they were taking their sweet time. We kept getting on them, but we weren't on the road until about 4am. Mind you, they are not children...it's my parents (in their mid 50s), my 26 year old brother, my 22 year old sister, and my 17 year old brother. We get into O'Hare and the security line is insane and going slow. So we tell them we absolutely must run to our gate once we get through. No walking, it needed to be a run because we were at the last gate. Did any of them run? Nope. They walked. And not even a really fast walk. Just a more quickened pace than a stroll. We missed our flight. I was ready to break down crying but we were beyond lucky that the next flight an hour later had enough seats for all of us. They had a mess up with the rental car place because neither of my parents bothered to listen to any of the information I repeatedly told them over the last several months, nor did they read any of the fine print. After sitting and waiting for them to stop their arguing with the agent, we were finally on our way.

I had an academic awards ceremony that night with a reception afterwards. My mom spent almost the entire reception gushing over ANOTHER graduate and her accomplishment. Neither of my parents even congratulated me or took a picture with me. Yet my dad, who is a hobby photographer, got plenty of pictures of this other graduate and had me get her email to send the pictures to her.

Graduation was on that Saturday. I told them I had to be there at 1pm and if they wanted a decent seat, they should arrive at the same time. Plenty of agreements all around. At 12:40 I knocked on their hotel door and no one is fully ready. I told them we have to go and my mom said to go on ahead, she is just going to finish her eye makeup and they will be right behind us. Ok cool. My husband drops me off and goes to park. Soon before the graduation starts, he is texting me saying that none of my family is responding to his calls or texts. Apparently they finally showed up JUST as the lights dimmed...because they decided to go to McDonald's. When my kids had to use the bathroom, none of them wanted to help my husband out so he could stay and actually watch the ceremony. After the ceremony, I excitedly went out to find my family. My husband and kids were there very happily greeting me. The rest of my family was nowhere to be found. My husband said they left and told us to text them when deciding on a place to eat. I immediately called and asked why they weren't there because I was excited to see them. My dad goes "oh I didn't think we were allowed." So the tons of people waiting outside was an indication they weren't allowed to wait outside? So again, no pictures with my family.

We met up at the hotel and my dad seemed annoyed that I had asked him to take just one picture of me with my husband and kids in my cap and gown. None of my family members seemed interested in getting pictures with me. I just picked some fast food place for dinner and pretty much none of my family spoke to me...they were more interested in their other conversations, and my siblings left to go back to their room to watch tv. I spent the evening mostly quiet as my dad rambled on about something to my husband.

The next morning they were to fly back to Chicago with our children while my husband and I stayed behind since we were flying to Paris the day after that. My husband stressed that to avoid the mishap of Friday, we were leaving with even more time to spare. We gave them a "must leave" time. We are waiting in the lobby and the time comes and none of them are with us. They come down several minutes past and my dad tells me that he and my mom are going to Starbucks across the street (nevermind there is free coffee in the lobby). My husband and I try to contain our anger. Fortunately everyone gets there in time and they get back to Chicago without further problem.

But the entire ride to their airport I was crying. I was the first in my family to graduate. Being in my mid-30s obviously meant I waited a long time for this day. And none of them cared. The "I'm so proud of you" mantras they kept posting on Facebook were all for show. I told my husband that when I graduate from grad school, they aren't invited. Simple as that. They don't deserve to be part of that celebration.

Oh, and while my dad is busy posting his well edited pictures of bugs on Facebook and has already emailed the other graduate the pics he took of her, I have yet to see the single picture he took of me from graduation.

At least Paris was awesome!

Ok, that feels somewhat better to get out. Major kudos to you if you made it through.

Oh this is horrible. I'm sending you massive hugs. Thank god your husband is supportive and was there for you! I don't blame you about tears, I would have cried too. 

If it makes it any better, my graduation was pretty shitty too - my dad turned up but left immediately after to go to my cousins high school graduation in another country, never said congratulations and fell asleep during the ceremony. My mom fell asleep in her celebratory dinner (fancy steak restaurant which I paid for because I had a job and she didn't). Did I mention I had the flu at the time and had flown back from Greece for 48 hrs for it? So you completely have my sympathies. Here's hoping the grad school graduation will be everything this one wasn't!!!! 

[spectastic]

2 hours ago, marycaryne said:

Oh my gosh, major vent here. It's a bit lengthy, but I just need to spill.

I graduated with my bachelor's last month. Because of having a family and working full time, I did my degree online. So we traveled to go to my graduation. We live in OKC, and my family, who was also going, lives in Chicago. We drove all night to Chicago arriving on a Thursday and we were all flying out at 6am on Friday. We told them we needed to be on the way to their airport no later than 3:30am. While my husband and I had ourselves, our 7 and 6 year old children, and all our stuff ready to go, they were taking their sweet time. We kept getting on them, but we weren't on the road until about 4am. Mind you, they are not children...it's my parents (in their mid 50s), my 26 year old brother, my 22 year old sister, and my 17 year old brother. We get into O'Hare and the security line is insane and going slow. So we tell them we absolutely must run to our gate once we get through. No walking, it needed to be a run because we were at the last gate. Did any of them run? Nope. They walked. And not even a really fast walk. Just a more quickened pace than a stroll. We missed our flight. I was ready to break down crying but we were beyond lucky that the next flight an hour later had enough seats for all of us. They had a mess up with the rental car place because neither of my parents bothered to listen to any of the information I repeatedly told them over the last several months, nor did they read any of the fine print. After sitting and waiting for them to stop their arguing with the agent, we were finally on our way.

I had an academic awards ceremony that night with a reception afterwards. My mom spent almost the entire reception gushing over ANOTHER graduate and her accomplishment. Neither of my parents even congratulated me or took a picture with me. Yet my dad, who is a hobby photographer, got plenty of pictures of this other graduate and had me get her email to send the pictures to her.

Graduation was on that Saturday. I told them I had to be there at 1pm and if they wanted a decent seat, they should arrive at the same time. Plenty of agreements all around. At 12:40 I knocked on their hotel door and no one is fully ready. I told them we have to go and my mom said to go on ahead, she is just going to finish her eye makeup and they will be right behind us. Ok cool. My husband drops me off and goes to park. Soon before the graduation starts, he is texting me saying that none of my family is responding to his calls or texts. Apparently they finally showed up JUST as the lights dimmed...because they decided to go to McDonald's. When my kids had to use the bathroom, none of them wanted to help my husband out so he could stay and actually watch the ceremony. After the ceremony, I excitedly went out to find my family. My husband and kids were there very happily greeting me. The rest of my family was nowhere to be found. My husband said they left and told us to text them when deciding on a place to eat. I immediately called and asked why they weren't there because I was excited to see them. My dad goes "oh I didn't think we were allowed." So the tons of people waiting outside was an indication they weren't allowed to wait outside? So again, no pictures with my family.

We met up at the hotel and my dad seemed annoyed that I had asked him to take just one picture of me with my husband and kids in my cap and gown. None of my family members seemed interested in getting pictures with me. I just picked some fast food place for dinner and pretty much none of my family spoke to me...they were more interested in their other conversations, and my siblings left to go back to their room to watch tv. I spent the evening mostly quiet as my dad rambled on about something to my husband.

The next morning they were to fly back to Chicago with our children while my husband and I stayed behind since we were flying to Paris the day after that. My husband stressed that to avoid the mishap of Friday, we were leaving with even more time to spare. We gave them a "must leave" time. We are waiting in the lobby and the time comes and none of them are with us. They come down several minutes past and my dad tells me that he and my mom are going to Starbucks across the street (nevermind there is free coffee in the lobby). My husband and I try to contain our anger. Fortunately everyone gets there in time and they get back to Chicago without further problem.

But the entire ride to their airport I was crying. I was the first in my family to graduate. Being in my mid-30s obviously meant I waited a long time for this day. And none of them cared. The "I'm so proud of you" mantras they kept posting on Facebook were all for show. I told my husband that when I graduate from grad school, they aren't invited. Simple as that. They don't deserve to be part of that celebration.

Oh, and while my dad is busy posting his well edited pictures of bugs on Facebook and has already emailed the other graduate the pics he took of her, I have yet to see the single picture he took of me from graduation.

At least Paris was awesome!

Ok, that feels somewhat better to get out. Major kudos to you if you made it through.

this is why I never hang out with my family. I'm sure there exists the cover photo family that have awesome dinners and traditions during Thanksgiving, wild Christmas parties, and in this case, rejoicing all around for the new graduate. But I also realize that there are many families (more than some realize) that are just totally dysfunctional. at some point, I just stopped giving a shit; I didn't walk during graduation, because I didn't want to pay for the overpriced gown, and I didn't value my parents' relationship with me enough to do it for them either. so you're not alone. and take it in stride. you have a nice spouse and paris was awesome.

[spectastic]

it's 2:30 am, I was planning to get up for a 8am group ride tomorrow (or I guess today), but the walls are really thin.. I got one roommate playing video games on one side, and romeo's pleasuring his very vocal juliet in the other. does anybody get any fucking sleep around here?? g-damn.

[Cheshire_Cat]

On 6/2/2016 at 3:10 PM, kimmibeans said:

Seriously? That's totally stupid.

Yeah, and the thing that gets me is that I am already professionally and academically qualified enough to be hired to teach in this field without being a grad student, I just wouldn't be paid as much as someone with a Ph.D.

[dr. t]

I am not impressed by the Important People you know, and allowing your insecurity to manifest by telling me all the Important People you know is really, really annoying

[shadowclaw]

On 6/2/2016 at 9:13 AM, Cheshire_Cat said:

The school is going to pay me to teach this summer.   However, they are also charging  me $500 in fees for the privilege.

This may be more common than you think. My school requires TA's to registers for a certain number of credits (12 during the regular school year, 9 during the summer), and of course there are all the fees (of which most are based on how many credits you take). The department I TA for covers all of those fees, but not all departments do. A few of the other schools I applied to had similar setups. Personally, I don't get why my school requires a minimum of 12 credits every term. If anything, I would expect a cap on the number of credits so you don't overload yourself (my masters program did this). Perhaps it's to encourage students to progress through their program at an appropriate pace and not try to stretch it out as long as possible (which I don't see why someone would do that... it's not like the salaries are that good).

[shadowclaw]

I am in an interdisciplinary program that isn't associated with any one department, nor is it part of any of the colleges. There are a few programs of a similar nature, and they are all just officially part of the graduate school. As a result, we don't have our own TA positions and we take courses in a myriad of departments (and are advised by professors in a bunch of departments). Ultimately, it works out fine, because the departments we work with typically provide us with some TA positions and many students have RA positions with their advisors, and we get to put together a pretty amazing course plan tailored to our own needs and goals. 

The really annoying part: there is a complete lack of central identity or unity among the graduate students. Some students very strongly identify with their advisor's home department and go to that department's seminars, parties, and other events. That would be fine, except that they completely ignore our program aside from making sure they register for thesis credits and take the core courses . They won't come to any meetings, don't respond to e-mails related to the program, etc. Some other students do identify with our program, but they don't seem to care very much about it. They show up to the more important program meetings, but if anything social is ever planned or the program coordinator needs volunteers to help with something, they ignore emails about it. I get that people are busy and things like end of term get-togethers aren't high priorities, but they can't even bother to say that they're busy and can't make it.

[Cheshire_Cat]

Teaching is exhausting and my voice is shot!!  Next class period they are just going to have to work all the problems themselves and then I will tell them if they are right and explain it.  And I have another class today, which ends at 10:15 tonight.  Lovely.

[spectastic]

my program requires me to pay tuition to be enrolled as a part time student in order to be able to TA. but the TA also waives most of my tuition. go figure... i'm just happy someone's paying me

 

[Danger_Zone]

 I don't know if this is just me having some doubt about my choices to go to grad school but, I've increasingly felt like I've made the wrong decisions for myself. When I was young I used to love science and dream about becoming a scientist. I loved everything.. rocks, dinosaurs, space. But by the end of elementary school I started to struggle greatly with both science and math. I continued to struggle and struggle and nobody helped me, so I became increasingly, almost hateful towards science. In math my parents would spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on me to barely scrape by. I had to hire an expensive tutor to pass with a 53% in grade 11 math so I could graduate. More and more I pushed myself away from the STEM field, because who is going to tell a kid who can barely do long division that they could become a great doctor or astronaut? My last attempt was in university, where I told myself I was going to be a neuropsychologist, all I had to do was catch up on my high school science and math and I could claim a BS major. But it was just too damn hard, I failed and had to drop multiple classes, both in university and at the high school level. I really do love history but, I study the history of medicine/science so it almost feels like I love it because this is the closest I'll ever get to science. It's just hard to know if you should recognize your weaknesses and strengths and move on or if you should have kept pushing yourself. Are some people just not meant to do certain things and they have to accept that?

[spectastic]

4 hours ago, Danger_Zone said:

 I don't know if this is just me having some doubt about my choices to go to grad school but, I've increasingly felt like I've made the wrong decisions for myself. When I was young I used to love science and dream about becoming a scientist. I loved everything.. rocks, dinosaurs, space. But by the end of elementary school I started to struggle greatly with both science and math. I continued to struggle and struggle and nobody helped me, so I became increasingly, almost hateful towards science. In math my parents would spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on me to barely scrape by. I had to hire an expensive tutor to pass with a 53% in grade 11 math so I could graduate. More and more I pushed myself away from the STEM field, because who is going to tell a kid who can barely do long division that they could become a great doctor or astronaut? My last attempt was in university, where I told myself I was going to be a neuropsychologist, all I had to do was catch up on my high school science and math and I could claim a BS major. But it was just too damn hard, I failed and had to drop multiple classes, both in university and at the high school level. I really do love history but, I study the history of medicine/science so it almost feels like I love it because this is the closest I'll ever get to science. It's just hard to know if you should recognize your weaknesses and strengths and move on or if you should have kept pushing yourself. Are some people just not meant to do certain things and they have to accept that?

Various people learn differently. the US education system is profoundly inefficient in addressing people's learning styles. What ends up happening is that potentially talented people get weeded out of their beloved topics, because there's always someone else who loves this topic equally, can take tests well, and fill that need in society. So I think the key here, before you completely throw in the towel, is to understand how you learn best, and how that contrasts with how you're taught. I learn best by demonstrations and practice, and I fall asleep at the textbook. Others learn better with textbooks and exams, but they might suck in the lab. I hated electromagnetism in school, until I learned that the left/right hand rules actually come in handy when it comes to electric motors and generators, which I think are really cool. If I were to do it over, I'd get a EE degree... anyway, I think it's wrong to judge a person based upon talent alone; that should be pretty obvious. Many talented people who do well in school don't do well in society, because they don't possess the discipline to coach themselves. The opposite is also true for certain people who might have a slow start, but don't give up, and instead focus on continuous growth. If you're interested in science, I say go and learn it. Go at your own pace. Use open source material or things like Khan's academy, and structure your learning based upon how you think you learn best. Don't be discouraged in your abilities because the school system says so. fuck the school system

[sjoh197]

5 hours ago, Danger_Zone said:

 I don't know if this is just me having some doubt about my choices to go to grad school but, I've increasingly felt like I've made the wrong decisions for myself. When I was young I used to love science and dream about becoming a scientist. I loved everything.. rocks, dinosaurs, space. But by the end of elementary school I started to struggle greatly with both science and math. I continued to struggle and struggle and nobody helped me, so I became increasingly, almost hateful towards science. In math my parents would spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on me to barely scrape by. I had to hire an expensive tutor to pass with a 53% in grade 11 math so I could graduate. More and more I pushed myself away from the STEM field, because who is going to tell a kid who can barely do long division that they could become a great doctor or astronaut? My last attempt was in university, where I told myself I was going to be a neuropsychologist, all I had to do was catch up on my high school science and math and I could claim a BS major. But it was just too damn hard, I failed and had to drop multiple classes, both in university and at the high school level. I really do love history but, I study the history of medicine/science so it almost feels like I love it because this is the closest I'll ever get to science. It's just hard to know if you should recognize your weaknesses and strengths and move on or if you should have kept pushing yourself. Are some people just not meant to do certain things and they have to accept that?

If someone were indeed to tell you that at this point you could make up your basic science and math deficits with extra schooling... would you actually take that up and change your career? Because the reality is that some people really can/can't do some things, and some people are just victim to poor teaching and different learning styles. Which you are... I couldn't tell you. I struggled significantly through grade school, particularly in math. I made d's in math all the way up to algebra and then bam... math made sense. Biology, chemistry, physical science... didn't do well in any of them. But now I am a scientist (well, will be). I love science. College (and homeschooling through high school) allowed me to teach myself the way that I learn. I have never doubted my love of my field. But if you are having doubts, the time to think about them would be now... not years from now when you are too far in to look back.

If you love history, but also love science... and are studying history of science, that sounds like a pretty good compromise to me. 

And... to be fair, you don't have to be a scientist to enjoy science. Have you thought about involving yourself in a less "in-depth" way. For example, volunteering at a science museum, or joining a local science club. Would something like that be enough to satiate your love of science? There are lots of people who do those things who don't have a career or even a  background in science. 

[Danger_Zone]

1 hour ago, spectastic said:

Various people learn differently. the US education system is profoundly inefficient in addressing people's learning styles. What ends up happening is that potentially talented people get weeded out of their beloved topics, because there's always someone else who loves this topic equally, can take tests well, and fill that need in society. So I think the key here, before you completely throw in the towel, is to understand how you learn best, and how that contrasts with how you're taught. I learn best by demonstrations and practice, and I fall asleep at the textbook. Others learn better with textbooks and exams, but they might suck in the lab. I hated electromagnetism in school, until I learned that the left/right hand rules actually come in handy when it comes to electric motors and generators, which I think are really cool. If I were to do it over, I'd get a EE degree... anyway, I think it's wrong to judge a person based upon talent alone; that should be pretty obvious. Many talented people who do well in school don't do well in society, because they don't possess the discipline to coach themselves. The opposite is also true for certain people who might have a slow start, but don't give up, and instead focus on continuous growth. If you're interested in science, I say go and learn it. Go at your own pace. Use open source material or things like Khan's academy, and structure your learning based upon how you think you learn best. Don't be discouraged in your abilities because the school system says so. fuck the school system

 

45 minutes ago, sjoh197 said:

If someone were indeed to tell you that at this point you could make up your basic science and math deficits with extra schooling... would you actually take that up and change your career? Because the reality is that some people really can/can't do some things, and some people are just victim to poor teaching and different learning styles. Which you are... I couldn't tell you. I struggled significantly through grade school, particularly in math. I made d's in math all the way up to algebra and then bam... math made sense. Biology, chemistry, physical science... didn't do well in any of them. But now I am a scientist (well, will be). I love science. College (and homeschooling through high school) allowed me to teach myself the way that I learn. I have never doubted my love of my field. But if you are having doubts, the time to think about them would be now... not years from now when you are too far in to look back.

If you love history, but also love science... and are studying history of science, that sounds like a pretty good compromise to me. 

And... to be fair, you don't have to be a scientist to enjoy science. Have you thought about involving yourself in a less "in-depth" way. For example, volunteering at a science museum, or joining a local science club. Would something like that be enough to satiate your love of science? There are lots of people who do those things who don't have a career or even a  background in science. 

I think my post may have made me sound a little more regretful than I am. I really do love history and have chosen a research topic that is both academically and personally interesting and important to me, so I have no doubt that I will enjoy myself. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed with feelings of "what if", especially with grad school and moving to another country. I'm also an incredibly indecisive person, so I can't help but stress over the decisions I've made that have led me up to this point. I just wonder where I would be if my struggles throughout school weren't essentially ignored. Maybe I'd still be where I am now, but maybe I could have at least felt like I had more options? I know it is partially my fault, but I was too shy and embarrassed and discouraged from struggling so much. I simply felt like I was too dumb to understand what so many other people do easily. There are just so many things I want to do, and really so many amazing things to do out there, that it's almost unfortunate to be choosing my career path. I can't say 100% if it's poor schooling or not but I've really tried countless things (various tutors, after school programs, trying to teach myself) and it's never really clicked for me, especially for math.

And yes, @sjoh197 you're definitely right that I have chosen a good compromise, I really love to read up on science and medicine, and would like to look into volunteering or other opportunities related to science. One thing I would really love to do is volunteer at a science museum/centre. Maybe I will look into that soon. Anyway I appreciate your help, the both of you. Guess my nerves about school are really getting to me.

[Sigaba]

7 hours ago, Danger_Zone said:

 I don't know if this is just me having some doubt about my choices to go to grad school but, I've increasingly felt like I've made the wrong decisions for myself. When I was young I used to love science and dream about becoming a scientist. I loved everything.. rocks, dinosaurs, space. But by the end of elementary school I started to struggle greatly with both science and math. I continued to struggle and struggle and nobody helped me, so I became increasingly, almost hateful towards science. In math my parents would spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on me to barely scrape by. I had to hire an expensive tutor to pass with a 53% in grade 11 math so I could graduate. More and more I pushed myself away from the STEM field, because who is going to tell a kid who can barely do long division that they could become a great doctor or astronaut? My last attempt was in university, where I told myself I was going to be a neuropsychologist, all I had to do was catch up on my high school science and math and I could claim a BS major. But it was just too damn hard, I failed and had to drop multiple classes, both in university and at the high school level. I really do love history but, I study the history of medicine/science so it almost feels like I love it because this is the closest I'll ever get to science. It's just hard to know if you should recognize your weaknesses and strengths and move on or if you should have kept pushing yourself. Are some people just not meant to do certain things and they have to accept that?

If one of the predominant theories of cognitive educational psychology is correct (and I believe that it is), your inability to master math to your satisfaction is the fault of your instructors and tutors, not yours. That is, when a motivated student cannot reach her goals, her teachers have failed her. They failed to match teaching tactics to your individual needs.

It's up to you to decide if you want to spend more time and money finding someone who can get you to where you want to go. However, according to the work of K. Anders Ericsson, it is increasingly unlikely that you're going to "catch up," at least to people your age who have been refining their skills all along. This doesn't mean you cannot be a neuropsychologist, or any other practitioner in STEM. This just means that you're probably going to be older than your peers when you get to where you want to go. Given your subsequent post, the age difference may be a "trigger" that you struggle with from time to time.

26 minutes ago, Danger_Zone said:

 

I think my post may have made me sound a little more regretful than I am. I really do love history and have chosen a research topic that is both academically and personally interesting and important to me, so I have no doubt that I will enjoy myself. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed with feelings of "what if", especially with grad school and moving to another country. I'm also an incredibly indecisive person, so I can't help but stress over the decisions I've made that have led me up to this point. I just wonder where I would be if my struggles throughout school weren't essentially ignored. Maybe I'd still be where I am now, but maybe I could have at least felt like I had more options? I know it is partially my fault, but I was too shy and embarrassed and discouraged from struggling so much. I simply felt like I was too dumb to understand what so many other people do easily. There are just so many things I want to do, and really so many amazing things to do out there, that it's almost unfortunate to be choosing my career path. I can't say 100% if it's poor schooling or not but I've really tried countless things (various tutors, after school programs, trying to teach myself) and it's never really clicked for me, especially for math.

 

I very strongly suggest that you start, as soon as possible, addressing the passages in bold. As a graduate student in history, you're going to have to make many decisions very quickly and, sometimes, under a lot of pressure. The craft of history requires a lot of sorting. Examples include books you need to read cover to cover, and books you can skim; interpretations that advance historiographical debates and those that don't. As you advance in your work, you will be expected to make these decisions faster and faster, with the crucible being your qualifying exams, but especially the oral exam.

IRT your struggles with learning, professional academic history is generally a field of knowledge that is self taught; all the more with the growing generational rift between established scholars and each incoming class of graduate students. Consequently, you're going to be on the spot to figure out which skills you need to develop and how. You may also have to figure out how to push your professors to teach you what they know even though some may prefer to ignore you.

IRT finding the sweet spot between history and science, have you considered the possibility of being an "official historian" for the Canadian Space Agency? Or, if you're willing to become an American citizen, NASA, or private companies like SpaceX?

[Danger_Zone]

54 minutes ago, Sigaba said:

If one of the predominant theories of cognitive educational psychology is correct (and I believe that it is), your inability to master math to your satisfaction is the fault of your instructors and tutors, not yours. That is, when a motivated student cannot reach her goals, her teachers have failed her. They failed to match teaching tactics to your individual needs.

It's up to you to decide if you want to spend more time and money finding someone who can get you to where you want to go. However, according to the work of K. Anders Ericsson, it is increasingly unlikely that you're going to "catch up," at least to people your age who have been refining their skills all along. This doesn't mean you cannot be a neuropsychologist, or any other practitioner in STEM. This just means that you're probably going to be older than your peers when you get to where you want to go. Given your subsequent post, the age difference may be a "trigger" that you struggle with from time to time.

I very strongly suggest that you start, as soon as possible, addressing the passages in bold. As a graduate student in history, you're going to have to make many decisions very quickly and, sometimes, under a lot of pressure. The craft of history requires a lot of sorting. Examples include books you need to read cover to cover, and books you can skim; interpretations that advance historiographical debates and those that don't. As you advance in your work, you will be expected to make these decisions faster and faster, with the crucible being your qualifying exams, but especially the oral exam.

IRT your struggles with learning, professional academic history is generally a field of knowledge that is self taught; all the more with the growing generational rift between established scholars and each incoming class of graduate students. Consequently, you're going to be on the spot to figure out which skills you need to develop and how. You may also have to figure out how to push your professors to teach you what they know even though some may prefer to ignore you.

IRT finding the sweet spot between history and science, have you considered the possibility of being an "official historian" for the Canadian Space Agency? Or, if you're willing to become an American citizen, NASA, or private companies like SpaceX?

It's just very unfortunate if that is true. I wish the educational system was set up to recognize and address problems more easily. I know a lot of students are just labeled as lazy or troubled, when many have a genuine problem with learning. I understand that I would be far behind, but if changing careers became something I was 100% committed to I would definitely go for it. But I'm still happy with where I am now and have still managed to exceed my own expectations for myself. I guess maybe it's silly, but sometimes I day dream about being an astronaut, for instance, and it's hard to separate if space exploration is just something I find amazing (like most people probably do) or if I'd actually be cut out for that. Does that make sense?

I know my indecisiveness and uncertainty about things is an issue, and I am doing my best to work on it. I think I may have undervalued my own opinions and feelings in the past so I have a hard time trusting my decisions at times. I'm hoping to continue to fix this so that it does not affect my studies. I think I have been able to recognize what skills I need to improve on, and have generally not had many problems in history courses and projects (but of course this is just at the undergrad level.)

That actually sounds like an incredible idea! I have been considering non-tenure track university jobs as a possibility because I know that position is becoming more and more competitive, and I would be very content finding a science or medicine-related job outside of academia. I hadn't actually explored this as much yet, though. And I definitely hadn't considered that working for NASA would even be a possibility for me. I think it's helpful to recognize that by being a historian I can still do research about and for science. Thank you for the help. 

Edited June 10, 2016 by Danger_Zone

[spectastic]

1 hour ago, Danger_Zone said:

 

I think my post may have made me sound a little more regretful than I am. I really do love history and have chosen a research topic that is both academically and personally interesting and important to me, so I have no doubt that I will enjoy myself. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed with feelings of "what if", especially with grad school and moving to another country. I'm also an incredibly indecisive person, so I can't help but stress over the decisions I've made that have led me up to this point. I just wonder where I would be if my struggles throughout school weren't essentially ignored. Maybe I'd still be where I am now, but maybe I could have at least felt like I had more options? I know it is partially my fault, but I was too shy and embarrassed and discouraged from struggling so much. I simply felt like I was too dumb to understand what so many other people do easily. There are just so many things I want to do, and really so many amazing things to do out there, that it's almost unfortunate to be choosing my career path. I can't say 100% if it's poor schooling or not but I've really tried countless things (various tutors, after school programs, trying to teach myself) and it's never really clicked for me, especially for math.

And yes, @sjoh197 you're definitely right that I have chosen a good compromise, I really love to read up on science and medicine, and would like to look into volunteering or other opportunities related to science. One thing I would really love to do is volunteer at a science museum/centre. Maybe I will look into that soon. Anyway I appreciate your help, the both of you. Guess my nerves about school are really getting to me.

don't dwell on the past. learn from it and move on. there may still be a place for you in the scientific community. i talked to a random girl who studied journalism. She edits science news articles... articles that require a high level understanding of broad concepts, with greater focus on market and technological trends. The technician in our lab is bummed about studying chemistry instead of engineering, but he's looking into sales positions, which is slightly technical, but nothing overwhelming. At the other extreme, you have the hard STEM guys grinding it out in the lab to make catalyst B achieve a 5% greater product yield. none of these things were taught in school, and all are possible path forwards 

 

but take it with a grain of salt, because the title of your degree DOES matter, especially earlier on, and there are 20 other peoples who do have that worthless degree, IN ADDITION to the much needed relevant knowledge and experience. in those situations, it's important to know people

Edited June 10, 2016 by spectastic

[spectastic]

anyone engaged in thermostat wars with their roommate(s)? We've been dialing back and forth between 72 and 75F, until I pulled the unit and emptied the battery such that the AC stopped working altogether. but it appears someone has figured that out... must revise war tactics

[Sigaba]

14 minutes ago, Danger_Zone said:

I know my indecisiveness and uncertainty about things is an issue, and I am doing my best to work on it. I think I may have undervalued my own opinions and feelings in the past so I have a hard time trusting my decisions at times. I'm hoping to continue to fix this so that it does not affect my studies. I think I have been able to recognize what skills I need to improve on, and have generally not had many problems in history courses and projects (but of course this is just at the undergrad level.)

PM inbound.

[Danger_Zone]

32 minutes ago, spectastic said:

anyone engaged in thermostat wars with their roommate(s)? We've been dialing back and forth between 72 and 75F, until I pulled the unit and emptied the battery such that the AC stopped working altogether. but it appears someone has figured that out... must revise war tactics

Okay so.. it wasn't actually the thermostat but, our townhouse had one of those dials to turn the humidity in the house up and down, and was supposed to be switched back and forth after you showered to prevent humidity. My roommate used to make the house so dry that I was having nose bleeds constantly! I thought something was medically wrong with me. So I know how you feel.