Stupid things you've overhead other students say....

[sjoh197]

What things have you overheard other students say that made you completely facepalm, or wonder how they got into college? 

 

I'll start...

 

While sitting in our communal food/theater/postal/everything else area on campus... also known as "The Union", I overheard a girl ask her friend how to spell "onion." The irony of the situation arose when her friend responded that she thought it started with a "u".... "union". Because its not like we're sitting in a building that is spelled like Onion with a U. They were dead serious.

[busybeinganxious]

Does using the word "like" inappropriately and far too frequently count?  This is in class, sometimes while making a presentation.  

[LilithWntDwn2TN]

One I hear all the time: "I'm not interested in X. X is not in my area." Well, then, good thing you plan to work in a university, key work "universe"--as in "universal." 

I understand that we're all under pressure and want to focus our energy, but getting a little perspective will not hurt anyone. 

[jhefflol]

I took a course that was an undergrad/grad student combo and since there were 5 undergrads to each grad student, us grad students were distributed among groups of undergrads for group discussion. My group had the task of discussing gothic elements in a certain novel we were reading and immediately after the professor gave us the discussion question, the undergrads just stared at me. After realizing that no one was going to contribute to the discussion, I asked the group to name off some of the elements of gothic literature and got absolutely no response. Mind you, these students were about to graduate with a degree in literature or English education, and elements of gothic novels are discussed during lower division survey courses. Its basic. I was really annoyed.

 

Also, in the same kind of situation, one of the undergrads told me she didn't like doing research papers. Each class requires at least two. I was very puzzled by her life choices.

[mandarin.orange]

Labmate overheard this gem in a conversation between two students. One was trying to best describe her film school program to the other, esp. the time commitment: "it's like med school, but for emotion."

[juilletmercredi]

I can't stand it when my students tell me that they don't like to read.  It's usually in the context of an assignment.  1) I can't understand a person who does not feel remotely embarrassed admitting that they don't like to read, and 2) I don't really care.  You still have to read the assignment.

[uselesstheory]

"wait, but isn't society biological? like social norms are based on biology right?"

[juiceboxrampage]

Oh god, I have so many of these.

 

Freshman undergrad telling his parents about his Sociology 101 class on parents day:

 

"No, mom, it's racist to even call someone black or white. Race isn't real. So we shouldn't even be talking about race, because race is fake and it's racist to bring it up."

 

Conversation between me, my freshman dorm roommate, and her boyfriend, on watching me pull out a jar of peanut butter (context: I'm vegan):

 

Roommate's Boyfriend: "Ooooh! I knew you cheated on being vegan! You're eating peanut butter!"

 

Me: "So? Peanut butter is vegan."

 

Roommate's Boyfriend: "Not-uh! It's called peanut butter. It has butter in it. It's not vegan."

 

Roommate: "Wait, butter isn't vegan?"

 

Me: "No, butter is made from milk. But it's not in peanut butter. What did you think butter was made out of?"

 

Roommate: "I don't know. A butter plant? I guess I never really thought about it before."

[eeee1923]

When the undergrads I TA complain about me grading too harshly - I reply by saying that "I'm pretty lenient on most things but I give out a grading rubric that I will always follow, so the very least you can see what I will be looking for in a report, plus upper level engineering classes tend to be less nice and accepting of blatant disregard for the assignment instructions"

 

Also when undergrad students complain about their "heavy" course loads and tell me that I wouldn't understand since I'm a grad student. I'm sorry but I already went through it and life isn't all peaches and creme at the grad school level I may have less coursework but I make up for it with my TAing, research and other miscellaneous projects. 

[SLPosteriorCricoarytenoid]

Oh boy. Being a teaching assistant has also given me plenty of laughs as well as cringes when reading papers. I was a teaching assistant for psychology classes for a year and a half. The professor I TA'd for had always complained and ranted about how horrific most students' writing was while I was in his classes before my days of teaching assistantships. I figured that he was overreacting and most were probably mediocre. You know, getting a degree in psychology KIND OF has a big emphasis on writing TONS of papers, APA Style, writing like a clinician, etc so people couldn't be that bad, right? 

 

Folks, let me tell you... I saw a lot of writing that would not even cut it for a high school english class. Oh, and let me add that it was in a senior level class in particular that I saw some of the worst writing. People couldn't even form a complete sentence or follow guidelines that were plain as day in describing what was expected. I even had one paper that I added 100 corrections to when I first started TAing before I figured out that someone who hands that in obviously didn't care to improve or see where they went wrong (oh, the patience I had back then!). 

 

My professor told me to unleash on the class and hold high standards so I did. I flunked around half of the class on the first paper due to an excessive amount of errors, failure to read the simple directions, not proofreading, etc. They got one chance to redo it so I think that set the stage for the rest of the semester for what was expected (lol). There was improvement since students knew the grading wasn't at all lax. I really do think that grading tough makes people actually learn when you know you will be held accountable if you want a good grade! 

 

I also couldn't help but laugh at this one that actually happened today. 

 

In my articulation disorders class we spent much of the time going through case studies and examining different features of clients and how to distinguish between different disorders. After spending A LOT of time on it, a girl raised her hand and asked the professor if we needed to know this.... I almost face palmed a hole in my skull. 

 

The student who always asks, "Is this going to be on the test?" and "Do we need to know this?" is a classic one for the face palm. 

[shadowclaw]

While TAing an intro biology lab, I heard a student ask another if significant figures were important outside of chemistry class.

A professor from my undergrad school told me that a pre-med freshmen, before the semester even started, asked if she could drop general bio because her course load was too high. She was taking four courses, and the other 3 were gen eds like freshman composition and pc office applications.

[shadowclaw]

Also, when taking freshman chemistry, we were waiting for class to start one day and one of the students (who was in his mid 20's) suddenly announced to the class that he would be going to the bar to get plastered and find a girl with daddy issues. While the rest of the class sat in complete silence, the professor asked if he ever thought before he spoke.

[C10H12N2O]

A girl who I took advanced stats with e-mailed a large chunk of our class the next year to run her analysis for her thesis project for her.. Let's just say she had a way of coat tailing on other people's grades..

 

Oh, and I was forced to do a group project with her in a summer special topics class.. Our topic was drug use in kids and the effectiveness of drug prevention programs.. Her only contribution was asking if she could put glitter on our poster.. Needless to say we lost marks on our presentation because out of our five group members only two of us presented.. 

[Gvh]

At a picnic with a number of pre-med/biology undergrads and a few biology/immunology graduate students, the general conversation was about being a poor student and not being able to afford things. Towards the end of the group convo, one of the undergrads goes "Yayyy for being a poor scientist".

 

The grad student: "You're not a scientist. You're just poor". 

 

*awkward silence*

Edited January 22, 2015 by Gvh

[FoggyAnhinga]

I was TAing an undergrad bio course and one of my students emailed me letting me know that she didn't turn in her extra credit project because according to her, "I lost it" (too bad). BUT, even though she didn't turn it in, she says she still deserved those extra credit points because she put her effort into doing it. When I told her that makes absolutely no sense because if that was the case, I'd be awarding extra credit to everyone in the class regardless of whether they turned in their assignment or not. She then went on trying to reason me with this, complaining to me that I'm being very unfair, and vehemently claimed that she still deserved the points. She even decided to take this issue to the professor by cc'ing her in the email. 

[FinallyAccepted]

I was TAing an undergrad bio course and one of my students emailed me letting me know that she didn't turn in her extra credit project because according to her, "I lost it" (too bad). BUT, even though she didn't turn it in, she says she still deserved those extra credit points because she put her effort into doing it. When I told her that makes absolutely no sense because if that was the case, I'd be awarding extra credit to everyone in the class regardless of whether they turned in their assignment or not. She then went on trying to reason me with this, complaining to me that I'm being very unfair, and vehemently claimed that she still deserved the points. She even decided to take this issue to the professor by cc'ing her in the email. 

 

That's awful. I try to lay down the hammer in high school so that you guys don't see things like this as TAs. As a secondary educator, I find this is so embarrassing and inappropriate for a student in college. Just terrible.

[FoggyAnhinga]

That's awful. I try to lay down the hammer in high school so that you guys don't see things like this as TAs. As a secondary educator, I find this is so embarrassing and inappropriate for a student in college. Just terrible.

Yep, during my TA experience I often wondered how these kids even got into college in the first place (I've had students who made numerous spelling/typo errors on MS Word when all they had to do was a simple spellcheck, if they were really lazy). 

 

As for that student who complained that I was unfair, the prof ended up giving her points (for what reasons I have absolutely no idea), and she went on to send the prof a thank you email, which she CC'd me and other TA (a passive-aggressive indication saying "look, I still got the points anyway, so screw you")

[FinallyAccepted]

Yep, during my TA experience I often wondered how these kids even got into college in the first place (I've had students who made numerous spelling/typo errors on MS Word when all they had to do was a simple spellcheck, if they were really lazy). 

 

As for that student who complained that I was unfair, the prof ended up giving her points (for what reasons I have absolutely no idea), and she went on to send the prof a thank you email, which she CC'd me and other TA (a passive-aggressive indication saying "look, I still got the points anyway, so screw you")

 

Well I don't know why they get into college necessarily, but they graduate high school because they're doing away with high expectations at some schools. In a nearby school district, students aren't given zeros. Ever. If they don't turn something in, it's 50%, and they can turn in an assignment for an unpenalized grade at any point, and the teacher still has to grade it. I wouldn't be surprised if those students pulled something like what you see in class. They get used to such ridiculous leniency, and are shocked then when the "real world" or college isn't like that. I teach AP Psych and I make it as college-like as possible. I would kick one my students' behinds if they did something like what you described. No wonder people look at us and think we're worthless.

 

 

As for ridiculous things that students say, I get the "Do I have to know this for the test?" question all the time. "Nope, I'm just up here for my health talking about stuff that has no importance whatsoever." 

 

One of my favorites is when students have to be gone and when they come back and say "Did you do anything while I was gone?" "Nope, we each just rolled up into the fetal position and counted the minutes until you'd be back so we could resume learning."

[jhefflol]

At a picnic with a number of pre-med/biology undergrads and a few biology/immunology graduate students, the general conversation was about being a poor student and not being able to afford things. Towards the end of the group convo, one of the undergrads goes "Yayyy for being a poor scientist".

The grad student: "You're not a scientist. You're just poor".

*awkward silence*

This is too good lol

[Chiqui74]

I can't stand it when my students tell me that they don't like to read.  It's usually in the context of an assignment.  1) I can't understand a person who does not feel remotely embarrassed admitting that they don't like to read, and 2) I don't really care.  You still have to read the assignment.

Anyone who doesn't like to read will have a very bad time in college!

[SLPosteriorCricoarytenoid]

Thought of another one...This is like World's Dumbest Criminals only World's Dumbest College Students.

 

When I was a TA I had two girls hand in the exact same paper. Literally, word for word. The sad part was that it was a horrible paper that would've probably earned a D+ grade anyway. The only difference between the papers were the names. I talked to my advisor and he handled it. Turns out, he sent a pretty intimidating email to them about academic dishonesty, the consequences, etc and met with them in person afterward and scared them pretty good. 

 

One of the girls went out of her way to find me on facebook (unprofessional) and sent me a pretty angry private message (unprofessional x2) "yelling" at me for ratting her out...Like I was supposed to let a copied paper fly under the radar (lol)? I was in disbelief. I thought it was common sense not to copy and paste someone else's paper, but I must've been mistaken.

 

At least if you're dumb enough to cheat, put a little more effort into it. 

[FoggyAnhinga]

Thought of another one...This is like World's Dumbest Criminals only World's Dumbest College Students.

 

When I was a TA I had two girls hand in the exact same paper. Literally, word for word. The sad part was that it was a horrible paper that would've probably earned a D+ grade anyway. The only difference between the papers were the names. I talked to my advisor and he handled it. Turns out, he sent a pretty intimidating email to them about academic dishonesty, the consequences, etc and met with them in person afterward and scared them pretty good. 

 

One of the girls went out of her way to find me on facebook (unprofessional) and sent me a pretty angry private message (unprofessional x2) "yelling" at me for ratting her out...Like I was supposed to let a copied paper fly under the radar (lol)? I was in disbelief. I thought it was common sense not to copy and paste someone else's paper, but I must've been mistaken.

 

At least if you're dumb enough to cheat, put a little more effort into it. 

Hahaha wow, holy mackerel! That almost sounds like a verbal harassment from your student. Did you actually end up responding to her via Facebook? 

 

I also had one student who turned in his assignment and his friend's assignment, but upon closer inspection I noticed that the handwriting between those two assignments were identical. I gave him a warning the first time, but I ended up catching him the second time doing that (and the other TA also caught him doing that too for another assignment). Unfortunately the professor was way too generous and just told me "oh, these kids are young, don't worry" instead of pursuing any disciplinary actions. Ridiculous...

[busybeinganxious]

Overheard: "Why do I need to learn biology to be a nurse?"

[Kinetic Isotope Defect]

Last year when I was TAing advanced organic chemistry lab, I had a student who turned in a report with the entire introduction ripped from a review article on the class of compounds they were synthesizing. I printed out the review article, highlighted everything they plagiarized and presented it to them the next day during class. They tried to convince me that since they reordered the sentences, it didn't count as copying!

[shadowclaw]

Overheard: "Why do I need to learn biology to be a nurse?"

I've heard this several times over the years. Sigh.