WINE, WAIT, AND WHINE THREAD

[thepinkdragon76]

Well everyone was elated for me except my husband, who, being the pessimist he is, said "cool, how are you going to pay for it". Duh, I'm working on scholarships. "When will you know that?" Well considering they are just now becoming available to apply for, probably sometime in May. Geez, way to pop my balloon.

[marycaryne]

16 minutes ago, thepinkdragon76 said:

Well everyone was elated for me except my husband, who, being the pessimist he is, said "cool, how are you going to pay for it". Duh, I'm working on scholarships. "When will you know that?" Well considering they are just now becoming available to apply for, probably sometime in May. Geez, way to pop my balloon.

I'm so sorry your husband is that way!! My husband is generally that type of person and I was surprised he didn't say anything like that when I received my acceptance (at least not yet). But I think he at least somewhat learned when I got a rejection from OSU and he was cracking jokes for a few days. I know he was trying to lighten things up so I wouldn't be so upset, but I finally snapped at him about it and I think he got the picture of how upsetting it was to me. OSU wasn't my top choice (it was only top in terms of the in state tuition), but getting my first rejection was a blow and it sucked and I didn't need a comedian, I needed a shoulder. I do expect that at some point soon he will be making comments about the cost of attending FSU, which I am not looking forward to and already has me wondering if attending is the right decision. Ugh I hate the feeling. I'm glad we have Grad Cafe to support each other without all of that.

[hippyscientist]

@thepinkdragon76 and @marycaryne I'm sorry your partners aren't as supportive as they could be. Finances are a huge issue and the only way I'm managing the start up costs is with an early inheritance assistance. It's definitely a major consideration but you need to enjoy the elation that you beat a lot of other applicants to get in! Congratulations  1 week to enjoy, then you can start to think logistics.

[thepinkdragon76]

10 minutes ago, marycaryne said:

I'm so sorry your husband is that way!! My husband is generally that type of person and I was surprised he didn't say anything like that when I received my acceptance (at least not yet). But I think he at least somewhat learned when I got a rejection from OSU and he was cracking jokes for a few days. I know he was trying to lighten things up so I wouldn't be so upset, but I finally snapped at him about it and I think he got the picture of how upsetting it was to me. OSU wasn't my top choice (it was only top in terms of the in state tuition), but getting my first rejection was a blow and it sucked and I didn't need a comedian, I needed a shoulder. I do expect that at some point soon he will be making comments about the cost of attending FSU, which I am not looking forward to and already has me wondering if attending is the right decision. Ugh I hate the feeling. I'm glad we have Grad Cafe to support each other without all of that.

We will figure out how to battle our witty husbands together on the financial stuff. They should just be happy that after grad school we can bring in more money. Unless of course,  we pursue more schooling! Lol

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

I'm so sorry for those of you that don't have supportive spouses... I wouldn't be able to take that. My own thoughts are pessimistic enough, they don't need help!

 

[Need Coffee in an IV]

I know my boyfriend is trying to make sure I'm not taken advantage and he views a lot of things as scams ha. He had the reaction of yay!! which then turn to ask as many questions as possible so we know exactly the situation. He views me as full of sunshine and happiness which can be true ha. He also knows he can come across as an ass but we both know he means well. I value his opinion because he is moving with me so it made me really happy when he said Texas Tech was the perfect option.

[marycaryne]

1 minute ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I'm so sorry for those of you that don't have supportive spouses... I wouldn't be able to take that. My own thoughts are pessimistic enough, they don't need help!

 

I don't want to peg my husband as being unsupportive. He just doesn't quite understand how I want to be supported. I am more of the dreamer while he is a realist so I understand his need for thinking about all of the logistical stuff while I am just going "let's go!" even though it's not very fun in the moment. And I know he hated seeing me really upset about a rejection so he tried to make me laugh. He said his big fear was not getting any acceptances, especially from FSU (as it was my top choice), because he knew I would take it very personally even if the decisions had nothing to do with me. But his internal thoughts don't always translate well into how he shows them. He's a work in progress.

[hippyscientist]

Have to say I'm pretty relieved to not have a partner doing this with me. Not having to take any one else's opinions into consideration is pretty good in my book. Dad's going to move me out to the US - help me find a car that isn't a scam and carry heavy furniture mainly - but I know that my ex would be complaining that PSU is "such a long way to come visit". Yes that noise you hear is my eyes rolling into the back of my head. 

[marycaryne]

40 minutes ago, thepinkdragon76 said:

We will figure out how to battle our witty husbands together on the financial stuff. They should just be happy that after grad school we can bring in more money. Unless of course,  we pursue more schooling! Lol

The good thing is that my husband at least somewhat understands... He attended seminary and has an M.Div. Plus the seminary required way more hours than any other masters program I know of: 90 hours. So I can at least hold it over him that I won't be in school nearly as long.

[Neist]

My wife is getting a bit tired of me being and school, and I can't say I blame her. I've been in school for the entirety of our 10 year marriage.

I think we're both getting worn out. More than a small part of me has strongly considered stopping with the program I was just accepted into. I could easily find jobs with only those degrees.

[thepinkdragon76]

4 minutes ago, Neist said:

My wife is getting a bit tired of me being and school, and I can't say I blame her. I've been in school for the entirety of our 10 year marriage.

I think we're both getting worn out. More than a small part of me has strongly considered stopping with the program I was just accepted into. I could easily find jobs with only those degrees.

Since its funded I'd stay the course. That's just me. My husband is just worried about finances if he has to retire early from the Army because of the drawdown. Which is also why it's imperative I get this degree so I can make a decent salary when I'm done. Everything happens for a reason and it will work out somehow. 

[Need Coffee in an IV]

5 minutes ago, Neist said:

My wife is getting a bit tired of me being and school, and I can't say I blame her. I've been in school for the entirety of our 10 year marriage.

I think we're both getting worn out. More than a small part of me has strongly considered stopping with the program I was just accepted into. I could easily find jobs with only those degrees.

My boyfriend knows how you feel, he also felt worn out. It took him around 8-9 years to finish his undergrad. He switched majors, schools, and even states ha. He was also in the navy for a bit so he had school paid for and didn't start undergrad until he was 21. He's one of those people who's pretty content on any 9-5 job that pays ok, so we think it won't be hard for him to find a job when we move.

[Euler]

I'm doing it today, guys. I'm biting the bullet and sending emails to all seven programs that haven't given me any info at all (I already emailed FSU, I'm still in the running supposedly).

My bets are currently rejections to NC State, Chapel Hill, waitlist on Boston, Penn State, MSU and UF, and "decisions aren't out" at U of R. Place your bets if you'd like

Edited March 24, 2016 by Euler

[Neist]

9 minutes ago, thepinkdragon76 said:

Since its funded I'd stay the course. That's just me. My husband is just worried about finances if he has to retire early from the Army because of the drawdown. Which is also why it's imperative I get this degree so I can make a decent salary when I'm done. Everything happens for a reason and it will work out somehow. 

Oh, I'm definitely finishing this program. The question is if I want to carry on to a PhD beyond that. That's a lot of extra years and the job market in history is pretty terrible.

It's something I'll heavily consider a year or so into the program. Maybe the job market will improve a bit. It's pretty bad right now (in history).

[hippyscientist]

4 minutes ago, Euler said:

I'm doing it today, guys. I'm biting the bullet and sending emails to all seven programs that haven't given me any info at all (I already emailed FSU, I'm still in the running supposedly).

My bets are currently rejections to NC State, Chapel Hill, waitlist on Boston, Penn State, MSU and UF, and "decisions aren't out" at U of R. Place your bets if you'd like

Oooohhh keep us updated! 

[Euler]

6 minutes ago, Euler said:

I'm doing it today, guys. I'm biting the bullet and sending emails to all seven programs that haven't given me any info at all (I already emailed FSU, I'm still in the running supposedly).

My bets are currently rejections to NC State, Chapel Hill, waitlist on Boston, Penn State, MSU and UF, and "decisions aren't out" at U of R. Place your bets if you'd like

Lol, just kidding, just got a rejection from MSU right before I sent out any emails!
 

"Dear Applicant,

 

The graduate studies committee in Mathematics at Michigan State University has met and reviewed your application. The committee was impressed with your accomplishments but this year we have received many excellent applications. We must therefore decline your application for admittance to the PhD program."

I appreciate the gentle let down, but "dear applicant" doesn't exactly sell it.

Edited March 24, 2016 by Euler

[marycaryne]

5 minutes ago, Euler said:

I'm doing it today, guys. I'm biting the bullet and sending emails to all seven programs that haven't given me any info at all (I already emailed FSU, I'm still in the running supposedly).

My bets are currently rejections to NC State, Chapel Hill, waitlist on Boston, Penn State, MSU and UF, and "decisions aren't out" at U of R. Place your bets if you'd like

Would it be selfish of me to cross my fingers for you about FSU? Because then we could be awesome there together!

I do hope you hear back from everyone. I haven't heard anything from two schools and have considered emailing them, but FSU was my top choice anyway so I might as well update my sig.

[Euler]

Just now, marycaryne said:

Would it be selfish of me to cross my fingers for you about FSU? Because then we could be awesome there together!

I do hope you hear back from everyone. I haven't heard anything from two schools and have considered emailing them, but FSU was my top choice anyway so I might as well update my sig.

Not at all! I was wondering if/hoping I'd end up somewhere with at least another person from this forum, it would be fun to meet up!  And actually, if I'm accepted to FSU (which I think is my best chance of any pending school) they're a top competitor for me. I'll keep you posted...

I think at this point an email is worthwhile for peace of mind, especially if you already have an offer you're happy with.

[Need Coffee in an IV]

3 minutes ago, Euler said:

Lol, just kidding, just got a rejection from MSU right before I sent out any emails!
 

"Dear Applicant,

 

The graduate studies committee in Mathematics at Michigan State University has met and reviewed your application. The committee was impressed with your accomplishments but this year we have received many excellent applications. We must therefore decline your application for admittance to the PhD program."

I appreciate the gentle let down, but "dear applicant" doesn't exactly sell it.

That's a mass reject email if I ever saw one, and trust me I've seen a lot haha

[caleugenides]

I got in to the MA TESOL/Applied Linguistics program at NAU, but I'm still waiting on funding. They told me that they make offers "throughout the spring" which makes me believe an offer could take until May/June. I have to make a decision for my full ride to Central Florida by April 15th. I prefer NAU by far, but I obviously am not going to choose NAU if I have to pay for it. I'm just afraid that I will accept my funding at Central Florida and a month later NAU will give me an offer. What should I do in this situation? Should I ask for an extension from Central Florida around April 10th if I still don't have a response from NAU? How would I go about asking for an extension? Also is it too forward of me to ask my contact at NAU exactly when I should expect a response by? I'm aware they do it in waves, but I want to know when the very latest TAship offer would be...

 

It sounds dramatic, but all this waiting is seriously affecting me mentally. I literally cannot focus on anything, worse now that I'm on break and have time to think. The frustrating thing about when they give awards like this in waves is that you don't get a straight up rejection, it's like a rejection dragged over 3 months. Even then I don't think they give actual "rejections" for TAship offers. :/

Edited March 24, 2016 by caleugenides

[Euler]

2 minutes ago, caleugenides said:

I got in to the MA TESOL/Applied Linguistics program at NAU, but I'm still waiting on funding. They told me that they make offers "throughout the spring" which makes me believe an offer could take until May/June. I have to make a decision for my full ride to Central Florida by April 15th. I prefer NAU by far, but I obviously am not going to choose NAU if I have to pay for it. I'm just afraid that I will accept my funding at Central Florida and a month later NAU will give me an offer. What should I do in this situation? Should I ask for an extension from Central Florida around April 10th if I still don't have a response from NAU? How would I go about asking for an extension? Also is it too forward of me to ask my contact at NAU exactly when I should expect a response by? I'm aware they do it in waves, but I want to know when the very latest TAship offer would be...

 

It sounds dramatic, but all this waiting is seriously affecting me mentally. I literally cannot focus on anything, worse now that I'm on break and have time to think.

First, I would avoid doing anything that could jeopardize the funded offer. Unless you don't plan on taking that for whatever reason, but it doesn't sound like that's the case. Not that asking for an extension would hurt, but if they say April 15th is the hard deadline, just try to get a more definitive answer from UCF.

If it were me, I would probably wait until maybe 7-10 days-ish before the April 15th deadline, and if you haven't heard anything from UCF, email them and let them know you would only accept an offer if it were funded. That gives enough time for them to respond, and you should get an honest answer at that point on what you should expect from them in terms of funding.

[caleugenides]

@Euler Very good advice! Thank you. I'll still feel weird asking UCF for an extension / if April 15th is a hard deadline, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

Edited March 25, 2016 by caleugenides

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

I think I've hit my quarter-life crisis... my friend is going to be dyeing my hair blue next weekend. This would be hilarious if you all knew me... super conservative, thick glasses, never so much as worn makeup or gotten highlights... my only regret is that my research advisors may dye (pun intended) of shock!

 

Also on an unrelated note, I wonder if anyone shares the same irrational fear as me... the fear that when I'm asleep, I'll start sending e-mails while I'm asleep or something and accidentally send something incredibly rude to a potential PI or something... no one?

Edited March 25, 2016 by Pink Fuzzy Bunny

[hippyscientist]

4 hours ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I think I've hit my quarter-life crisis... my friend is going to be dyeing my hair blue next weekend. This would be hilarious if you all knew me... super conservative, thick glasses, never so much as worn makeup or gotten highlights... my only regret is that my research advisors may dye (pun intended) of shock!

 

Also on an unrelated note, I wonder if anyone shares the same irrational fear as me... the fear that when I'm asleep, I'll start sending e-mails while I'm asleep or something and accidentally send something incredibly rude to a potential PI or something... no one?

ooohhhh i love blue hair and really want to dye mine! Yay! 

As for the irrational fear - not so irrational. I have been known to do some really weird stuff while asleep including, but not limited to, eating pringles, cooking pancakes, having a full blown text conversation with multiple people, drawing a picture of ducks as our new overlords and cleaning the whole house. So emailing a PI - not that whacky! Just make sure you leave email sending devices out of the bedroom and you should be golden!

[Neist]

8 hours ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I think I've hit my quarter-life crisis... my friend is going to be dyeing my hair blue next weekend. This would be hilarious if you all knew me... super conservative, thick glasses, never so much as worn makeup or gotten highlights... my only regret is that my research advisors may dye (pun intended) of shock!

Also on an unrelated note, I wonder if anyone shares the same irrational fear as me... the fear that when I'm asleep, I'll start sending e-mails while I'm asleep or something and accidentally send something incredibly rude to a potential PI or something... no one?

I'm actually a little bit of the opposite. I used to be pretty out there. Blue hair, punk, went to four of five shows a week.

Now I look like I should be selling sustainably-raised, organic bean sprouts at a farmer's market. I do share the glasses with you though. I have terrible eyes. I think I'm around -11.