We've wined, we've waited, now it's time to celebrate 2016

[marycaryne]

10 hours ago, MarineBluePsy said:

Heh my mom doesn't even pay attention when I'm talking about her favorite subject...her.  I can't count on her and never could.

Sadly I understand this all too well. Whar's really pathetic though is that my mom only seems to really pay attention if something bad is happening to us....as if she takes delight in when something isn't going right in my life. It's really rather disgusting. I have something to celebrate? She's not really interested. Something goes wrong? She's ALL ears.

[MarineBluePsy]

@hippyscientist Glad to hear your research is going well.

@sjoh197 @marycaryne @Neist Yeah I had to accept that my mom is nuts a long time ago.  When things are good we're kinda like the Gilmore Girls, with less sharing of intimate details.  When things aren't good the silence is deafening.  I didn't even tell her about this whole grad school adventure.  I just can't deal with her "what about me?!" or confused looks.  We're at a things aren't good point and I'm certain if I left tomorrow it'd be at least 6 months before she noticed.

@Pink Fuzzy Bunny @hippyscientist @sjoh197 @marycaryne @Neist You guys (and everyone else around here) are awesome!  I think I largely forget my own limits despite all of the self care I regularly and gladly do.  I spend all day telling people how to not get overwhelmed and what the heck am I doing?  Lol.  So basically...I nearly died a month ago.  Like seriously.  I was on my way to work and in a multi vehicle accident which quickly made the news that yes, just about anyone who knows me saw and assumed I was dead or close.  Do you know how creepy it is to call people on the phone and have them freak out that you're still living?  Well it is.  And as I sat at the ER looking a hot mess I realized that I didn't have a single person to come and get me.  I don't mean like they'd be annoyed I bugged them at work or would need gas money.  I mean as in none of my family out here drives, I don't have any friends, I'm single, no coworker friends, and the few acquaintances that I could have awkwardly begged for a ride were out of town.  Taking a cab home just really sucked.  I'm pretty banged up, but not nearly as bad as I should have been and it is highly likely I'll need physical therapy.  I'm not sleeping that well with or without painkillers and I'm not a huge fan of pills anyway. 

Then my program is expecting me in a few weeks and I was on track with getting there before all of this.  Sure I'd procrastinated on getting things into boxes, but all the major steps were done in terms of knowing where I'll stay temporarily, mapping my driving/overnight stop route, what would be shipped, getting a new car, having the needed funds to move/get set up, etc.  Well since I had to wait for the police report to get details on who else was involved (and at fault!) I had to operate under the possibility that the at fault party was uninsured/underinsured and needed to keep my own costs down.  That also meant going back to work much earlier than I should have because I couldn't afford to stay home longer.  Huge financial pinch, but once the police report was ready and it clearly pointed the finger at someone with valid insurance I figured the ball would start rolling.  Apparently not, so now I've had to contact a lawyer.  I don't even like lawyers.  This is all going to drag on so much longer than I can stand and if things don't go my way then I guess I get stuck with the lawyer bill along with all the others.

So now I have to figure out the following:  how to pack everything when I can't lift much and have zero help, how to affordably ship everything door to door because when I get to school I won't have a car for awhile (not sure I'll be able to swing a rental there), learn the bus system so I can get to campus and find a permanent home, how on earth I'm supposed to swing last minute airfare prices if those name your price things tell me no, how to take a physical therapy referral from my current doctor/health plan to my schools health plan and get that going as hassle free as possible, and probably some other things I'm not thinking of now.  This on top of having to lawyer up over this whole accident, being completely freaked out that I nearly died without an estate plan and my mother (who falls apart at the hint of a crisis) would have likely been the one packing up my unmentionables.  I've scheduled a free consultation with an estate planning attorney next week.

Yesterday was just too much.  Getting the run around by the at fault parties insurance, reaching out to a lawyer, learning financial aid won't pay out until mid-late July, sleep deprivation, not being able to move as normally or quickly as I'd like, realizing that though I work 2 jobs I literally may not have enough money to actually go to my program and not going isn't really an option either, and it's just me.  I have to figure it out or call it quits or whatever.  There isn't someone else to do anything.  Oh and this morning I had a Taco Bell induced stomach ache which was totally my own fault lol.

[rhombusbombus]

Yallllll

My roommate moved in and im already looking for places by myself. Im gonna stick here a year, but i dont think im gonna renew my lease with her. 

 

She brought so much stuff! It takes over the dining room and living room. Iur styles are vastly different and there are already things that are bothering me. 

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

@MarineBluePsy Wow! No wonder you are overwhelmed.. the accident alone with nothing else piled on top of it is a seriously traumatic experience that will take awhile to recover from. I'm very glad that you are okay. 

@rhombusbombus Man... that sucks. Hopefully she isn't too messy so that you can just keep your own space and share common areas by necessity and mostly keep to yourself?

Edited June 11, 2016 by Pink Fuzzy Bunny

[hippyscientist]

3 hours ago, MarineBluePsy said:

@hippyscientist Glad to hear your research is going well.

@sjoh197 @marycaryne @Neist Yeah I had to accept that my mom is nuts a long time ago.  When things are good we're kinda like the Gilmore Girls, with less sharing of intimate details.  When things aren't good the silence is deafening.  I didn't even tell her about this whole grad school adventure.  I just can't deal with her "what about me?!" or confused looks.  We're at a things aren't good point and I'm certain if I left tomorrow it'd be at least 6 months before she noticed.

@Pink Fuzzy Bunny @hippyscientist @sjoh197 @marycaryne @Neist You guys (and everyone else around here) are awesome!  I think I largely forget my own limits despite all of the self care I regularly and gladly do.  I spend all day telling people how to not get overwhelmed and what the heck am I doing?  Lol.  So basically...I nearly died a month ago.  Like seriously.  I was on my way to work and in a multi vehicle accident which quickly made the news that yes, just about anyone who knows me saw and assumed I was dead or close.  Do you know how creepy it is to call people on the phone and have them freak out that you're still living?  Well it is.  And as I sat at the ER looking a hot mess I realized that I didn't have a single person to come and get me.  I don't mean like they'd be annoyed I bugged them at work or would need gas money.  I mean as in none of my family out here drives, I don't have any friends, I'm single, no coworker friends, and the few acquaintances that I could have awkwardly begged for a ride were out of town.  Taking a cab home just really sucked.  I'm pretty banged up, but not nearly as bad as I should have been and it is highly likely I'll need physical therapy.  I'm not sleeping that well with or without painkillers and I'm not a huge fan of pills anyway. 

Then my program is expecting me in a few weeks and I was on track with getting there before all of this.  Sure I'd procrastinated on getting things into boxes, but all the major steps were done in terms of knowing where I'll stay temporarily, mapping my driving/overnight stop route, what would be shipped, getting a new car, having the needed funds to move/get set up, etc.  Well since I had to wait for the police report to get details on who else was involved (and at fault!) I had to operate under the possibility that the at fault party was uninsured/underinsured and needed to keep my own costs down.  That also meant going back to work much earlier than I should have because I couldn't afford to stay home longer.  Huge financial pinch, but once the police report was ready and it clearly pointed the finger at someone with valid insurance I figured the ball would start rolling.  Apparently not, so now I've had to contact a lawyer.  I don't even like lawyers.  This is all going to drag on so much longer than I can stand and if things don't go my way then I guess I get stuck with the lawyer bill along with all the others.

So now I have to figure out the following:  how to pack everything when I can't lift much and have zero help, how to affordably ship everything door to door because when I get to school I won't have a car for awhile (not sure I'll be able to swing a rental there), learn the bus system so I can get to campus and find a permanent home, how on earth I'm supposed to swing last minute airfare prices if those name your price things tell me no, how to take a physical therapy referral from my current doctor/health plan to my schools health plan and get that going as hassle free as possible, and probably some other things I'm not thinking of now.  This on top of having to lawyer up over this whole accident, being completely freaked out that I nearly died without an estate plan and my mother (who falls apart at the hint of a crisis) would have likely been the one packing up my unmentionables.  I've scheduled a free consultation with an estate planning attorney next week.

Yesterday was just too much.  Getting the run around by the at fault parties insurance, reaching out to a lawyer, learning financial aid won't pay out until mid-late July, sleep deprivation, not being able to move as normally or quickly as I'd like, realizing that though I work 2 jobs I literally may not have enough money to actually go to my program and not going isn't really an option either, and it's just me.  I have to figure it out or call it quits or whatever.  There isn't someone else to do anything.  Oh and this morning I had a Taco Bell induced stomach ache which was totally my own fault lol.

Can I just say you need a bit of TLC?? Yes that's a lot of crazy going on and it's no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed, I think most people in their right minds would be. It sounds like you're taking the necessary steps to ease your mind (lawyer, estate attorney) but, find the good! You're alive, the other party has insurance, you have some support from crazy nerds on the internet. Would your program possibly push your start date by 6 months? I know mine is doing that for a few people and it might give you the time to sort some stuff out? Might be worth an investigation?

Taco Bell - I've never had one. I feel like I should! 

@rhombusbombus if you need to escape you're welcome at mine!

Edited June 11, 2016 by hippyscientist

[MarineBluePsy]

On 6/10/2016 at 6:59 AM, Neist said:

@sjoh197, those totally look like Lamp Chop. Anyone know that show? Might be too young of a crowd here.  

Fellow old fart here...I totally remember Lamb Chop lol!  In fact I despised Lamb Chop and those stupid tunes they'd sing hahahaha.  Hadn't thought about that in years.  I bet you remember The Snorks too?

11 hours ago, rhombusbombus said:

Yallllll

My roommate moved in and im already looking for places by myself. Im gonna stick here a year, but i dont think im gonna renew my lease with her. 

She brought so much stuff! It takes over the dining room and living room. Iur styles are vastly different and there are already things that are bothering me. 

This makes me smile and giggle a bit.  I'm always telling people that roommates are not always amazing because real life isn't Friends.  However if your roommates only issue is the excess furniture maybe you 2 could chat about a way to organize things so the shared space feels tolerable?  Maybe some of her stuff that isn't used daily can be put in her bedroom or a hall closet?  Since you have a lease you might as well try to make it bearable so the stress doesn't affect your studies.

@Pink Fuzzy Bunny @hippyscientist  Good grief I forgot to mention that yes I am grateful to be alive!  I am, seriously!  I'm also grateful that I'm not in the ICU or in need of surgery or otherwise bed bound.  I will make a full recovery and be able to resume my usual activities which makes me very lucky.  In the last decade or so I've done a lot of self work and feel that I've become a good person and in my own small ways am making a difference in the world.  So this accident didn't make me feel like I needed to make drastic changes in that regard, but was more of a "hey I'm not done yet!" kind of thing.

As for pushing my start date with my program?  Doing this will jeopardize my funding, which I need (and a chunk of that will be a down payment on another car and replenish my emergency fund).  My advisor has been flapping her gums for weeks about the prestigious at my University fellowship I earned and though its criteria to remain eligible is stricter than other funding sources she knows I can handle it.  All the Department heads are also quite mooney eyed because Psych students are never picked for this, its always the hard sciences.  That by itself was enough pressure and delaying a semester (even though my reason may be a good one) could be interpreted (unfairly!) as Psych students aren't a good investment.  That was the attitude before I earned it and me the nontraditional student with an unusual background and unique research interests is being used to prove otherwise.

The upside is they aren't going to overwhelm me right away.  My funding source doesn't require me to TA, the class load is light, and I will have a small caseload of clients.  Also I won't be asked to do anything extra because the faculty are firm about spending the beginning of your program getting acclimated to the community and encourage everyone to find a non-school activity to engage in, make outside friends, and just plain learn your way around.  

Once there, though discombobulated, I think I'll adapt and be ok.  My schedule will be way lighter (no more 2 jobs!) and I can add in more self care time.  It's just the getting there that is uncertain and I don't care what happens I'm not tapping my retirement account.  The taxes and penalties won't be worth it.  I can take out a larger student loan than I planned to (grrr!), but that's not immediately available unless throwing a fit will get them to push mine to the top of the pile.  Hmmm....I'm not above throwing a fit.

[rhombusbombus]

Yall are so sweet! Ive talked to her and we're gonna sort this out. 

My dad brought the rest of my stuff and my dog so thats lifted my spirits and made me less anxious! Our 2 dogs still need some time to fully warm up, but i dont thinj theyll have an issue. I just dont like sharing my dogs affection apparently. 

[pterosaur]

Haven't read through everything since the relevant post, but @MarineBluePsy. - absolutely do not put packing peanuts and bubble wrap or any other packing material inside your computer case!! Alltoo the components should be secure enough not to fall out in a car ride, and the packing material could build up static electricity that can fry your computer. You're also almost certainly fine leaving the hard drive in, especially if it's not an epic adventure of a drive. (Though it could provide more sense of security having your data safely in your hands.)

[Neist]

On 6/11/2016 at 9:14 AM, MarineBluePsy said:

Fellow old fart here...I totally remember Lamb Chop lol!  In fact I despised Lamb Chop and those stupid tunes they'd sing hahahaha.  Hadn't thought about that in years.  I bet you remember The Snorks too?

Of course I do!  

Also, this summer is slowly creeping up on me. Already feel as if I'm running out of time!  

[marycaryne]

Omg the Snorks! Yassss!!!

My show of the day was Rainbow Brite. Man I WAS Rainbow Brite. You could not convince me otherwise. And Jem. Still looking for earrings that turn me into a rockstar.

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

I may or may not be looking into adopting a second cat. Cat lady mode: engage!

[MarineBluePsy]

7 hours ago, pterosaur said:

Haven't read through everything since the relevant post, but @MarineBluePsy. - absolutely do not put packing peanuts and bubble wrap or any other packing material inside your computer case!! Alltoo the components should be secure enough not to fall out in a car ride, and the packing material could build up static electricity that can fry your computer. You're also almost certainly fine leaving the hard drive in, especially if it's not an epic adventure of a drive. (Though it could provide more sense of security having your data safely in your hands.)

I actually just learned this when I was pricing bubble wrap the other day.  They have bubble wrap for electronics and I wondered if it was a scam to get people to pay more money.  Apparently not.  Basically I should leave the computer in one piece and wrap it well in the bubble wrap for electronics and it should be fine travelling via car or shipping.  I'll back up all my data beforehand just in case and my renter's insurance has a special rider in case its damaged.

[sjoh197]

All finished

 

[hippyscientist]

21 minutes ago, sjoh197 said:

All finished

 

theyre so cute!

[sjoh197]

So I'm kinda excited because we were next to a target today (never happens) and we stopped in to look at vacuum cleaners (didn't get one) but instead I did find the most bad-ass awesome planner I have ever seen. It's like a full blown book. It has every month at the beginning of each section then every 2-page spread is devoted to 2 days only until you get to the next month. So you get a whole page for every single day, with a time schedule, to-do checklist, notes section, 3-most important things to do today box, and more.

I bought the shit out of that planner.

[marycaryne]

11 minutes ago, sjoh197 said:

So I'm kinda excited because we were next to a target today (never happens) and we stopped in to look at vacuum cleaners (didn't get one) but instead I did find the most bad-ass awesome planner I have ever seen. It's like a full blown book. It has every month at the beginning of each section then every 2-page spread is devoted to 2 days only until you get to the next month. So you get a whole page for every single day, with a time schedule, to-do checklist, notes section, 3-most important things to do today box, and more.

I bought the shit out of that planner.

What brand is it?? And about how much? I've been looking for a good planner but so far haven't liked any that I have seen.

[sjoh197]

6 minutes ago, marycaryne said:

What brand is it?? And about how much? I've been looking for a good planner but so far haven't liked any that I have seen.

I got this one specifically....but it was only $20 at target, not $25

https://www.bluesky.com/planners/day-designer-spotty-dot-academic-year-daily-monthly-8-x-10-planner-jul-2016-jun-2017.html

There are probably others like it, but I have a thing about physically looking at and seeing planners before I buy them. My planner is an integral part of my life. 

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

So it turns out I have an addiction to cats... here's kitty #2!

[Effloresce]

omg how cute!!! i'm so jealous. i would LOVE a cat..

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

21 minutes ago, Effloresce said:

omg how cute!!! i'm so jealous. i would LOVE a cat..

No chance you'll be able to adopt while in grad school?

[Effloresce]

22 minutes ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

No chance you'll be able to adopt while in grad school?

i hope to be able to at some point...right now i don't have much furniture of my own so either I need to find someone with a lot of common furniture or someone willing to decorate an apartment with me!

[sjoh197]

Our kitties are costing us an extra $1000 in deposits when we move in 2 months.

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

1 hour ago, sjoh197 said:

Our kitties are costing us an extra $1000 in deposits when we move in 2 months.

Yeah... I know that feel. Also paid $1k for a deposit, and $50/month per pet. Deposit is okay, but the "cat rent" is... ugh. But I think I might be able to just say I have one cat and hope one of them hides when the landlord pays me a visit

[sjoh197]

11 minutes ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

Yeah... I know that feel. Also paid $1k for a deposit, and $50/month per pet. Deposit is okay, but the "cat rent" is... ugh. But I think I might be able to just say I have one cat and hope one of them hides when the landlord pays me a visit

We only pay $25 a month per cat... But our rent I already so obscenely expensive that they couldn't get away with $50 per cat lol. Thankfully when we move in August, our rent will go down to $1350 a month.

[Danger_Zone]

@Pink Fuzzy Bunny Congrats on your new cat! He/she is adorable!!

I've been considering getting another cat after I've settled in because my boyfriend's cat is oddly clingy and dependent (she really doesn't like to be left alone for any amount of time), but I don't know if that would make matters better or worse.