Combat "imposter syndrome"

[SarahBethSortino]

Hello everyone - I'm trying to deal with the incredible stress of dealing with the waiting game. Since I sent out the applications, I've been trying to be positive, but occasionally I get hit by "imposter syndrome." I think there is no way a program would accept me, that everyone else in the pool is almost certainly better than me, that even if I get in maybe I don't deserve it. But then I try to step back and remember that just embarking on this journey is an accomplishment. We are all doing something most people wouldn't imagine. We're all willing to rearrange our lives to pursue a dream. We all deserve admiration for that. So if you're hit with the same feeling, just remember you should be proud of yourself for even trying!

[pebs]

I have let impostor syndrome take so many chances away from me. I wish I could say something nervy and awesome like "not anymore", but even applying to grad schools was a huge step for me, and I'm proud. (Now please, oh please, don't roundly reject me and confirm my crazy fears, thx!)

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

I still let impostor syndrome get to me, but my first semester of my M.A. a professor talked about how everyone, even him, gets it. He reminded me that I'm not alone which helped so many times over the last year and a half. Still freaked out about possibly not getting in, but not as bad as I would be without that talk.

[hopefulPhD2017]

I'm so glad we're talking about this. @wet gremlin I'm with you, I've lived with imposter syndrome long enough. I don't have regrets, per se, but oh, how I wish I could go back in time and believe in myself a little more! Sometimes I think I'll feel so crushed when I get my first rejection. But then I think about John McCain and HRC and ALL of the many jobs I've never gotten and realize that we will make it through. And that everything works out the way it's supposed to. Etc. That being said, please, please send me an acceptance soon!

[sturdyelm]

This is so so important. Thank you for putting this out in the open and sharing all our your worries with others. I feel like most of us can relate to "imposter syndrome" at some point in our lives, but for others, like me, it's a constant daily battle. The rational side of me is saying I shouldn't be so concerned and worried about what others think and that I am doing just fine. Then the anxiety side/my personal history is saying I am not good enough. I just do my best to remind myself that my background is exactly why I am want to study and get a master's and that if it doesn't work out, then I just take a break and try again. I used to be so afraid of "putting myself out there" as they say, but I have slowly learned with much belief and support from others that I am worth it and that I can do this (whatever this is what I want to do). Of course, I am still anxious and feel this syndrome, but not nearly as much as I used too. And although understandable, the waiting around definitely doesn't help especially when we are mostly all used to instantaneous things in our lives!

[therisingpage]

I had no idea it was called the 'Imposter Syndrome'... 

Thanks for sharing, it helps to know that there are others out there going through similar emotions.

[nixipixi]

Wow, I just googled "Impostor syndrome"! It's a match...had no idea it was that common (other than in my head).

I am not sure this is exactly a comfort, but again, good to know I'm not alone.

Thanks for the good vibes!

 

[CoffeeFueledAnxiety]

Thanks for bringing it up! I know it's an Imposter syndrome, I know lots of other people feel the same thing, but it's just hard to avoid it when I never see any changes after more than a month of refreshing my application status on the website. Looking at the result search page doesn't help, either.. I guess we all need to keep up the positive vibe and remind ourselves that even if we ended up with failure, there will always be another chance, another round of application, another backup plan that might just be the right path for us. You just never know. 

Edited January 12, 2017 by IndoGenic

[Kilos]

Great thread and reminder!

A major precipitating factor in people experiencing overwhelming (debilitating) anxiety is the feeling that they're losing control, having some kind of mental break, or losing their sanity. It's important for people to understand that these kinds of feelings of inadequacy or being an "impostor" are normal, common, widespread, and likely a psychological byproduct of the intense stress of academia coupled with the weight of future unknowns. I think these troublesome scenarios are compounded and intensified by the fact that graduate application cycles typically come about at pivotal moments in students' lives, when many are feeling especially vulnerable about their futures. I also believe that it's incredibly taxing to concisely compile the entirety of your life's achievements into a small stack of documents only to then mail them off into an opaque void where groups of strangers judge you and decide your future. It's an incredibly humbling (potentially devastating) thing to pour your being out for somebody to rubber-stamp "accept" or "reject." It's rough. Never forget that it's rough for everyone. Just take to heart that you're not alone, you're not nuts, you're not losing it; we're all going through it to varying degrees, and if you weren't feeling a bit volatile that would be the real cause for concern.

Keep your chin up!

Edited January 12, 2017 by Kilos

[SarahBethSortino]

21 hours ago, sturdyelm said:

This is so so important. Thank you for putting this out in the open and sharing all our your worries with others. I feel like most of us can relate to "imposter syndrome" at some point in our lives, but for others, like me, it's a constant daily battle. The rational side of me is saying I shouldn't be so concerned and worried about what others think and that I am doing just fine. Then the anxiety side/my personal history is saying I am not good enough. I just do my best to remind myself that my background is exactly why I am want to study and get a master's and that if it doesn't work out, then I just take a break and try again. I used to be so afraid of "putting myself out there" as they say, but I have slowly learned with much belief and support from others that I am worth it and that I can do this (whatever this is what I want to do). Of course, I am still anxious and feel this syndrome, but not nearly as much as I used too. And although understandable, the waiting around definitely doesn't help especially when we are mostly all used to instantaneous things in our lives!

Thanks so much for sharing. I have been waiting to put myself out there for this chance at a PhD for 10 years. I completed my masters 10 years ago and made so many excuses as to why this wasn't the right time, why it wouldn't fit into my life. I finally woke up one day last year and realized that it's now or never. Just remember that taking the step is a huge achievement in and of itself.

[Gadgette]

Reading a thread about imposter syndrome I can't escape the feeling I definitely don't fit in and someone is going to realize that soon. Yup, even in talking about how imposter syndrome sucks I feel like an imposter. My husband told me I was the definition of Dunning Krueger. My first thought was that he meant I don't realize just how dumb I am. My brain is a jerk.

 

If it makes anyone feel better, I know a well respected scientist who had a long and productive career. His imposter syndrome still gets so bad he gets physically ill, even after he retired.

[MemphisMeli]

At least we know we aren't alone!

[OhSoSolipsistic]

I sincerely believe that this is some type of mutant intrinsic motivator.