hopefulPhD2017

I use Evernote for everything. I have it on my phone, iPad, and multiple computers. I tag, search, save docs. It is my second brain. OneNote is really nice and potentially cheaper but I actually didn't want to rely on an Office product. I do pay (after so many months of use) $8/month, which I think is worth it, but you can use it for free for a long time. I have a notebook for everything and link notes across subjects.

Yeah. It's super hard. I love it and feel crippling fear all in the same day.

I'd get it in writing before you sign. Funding matters.

Welp. It's April 14 today. I wrote to the school asking if it'd be possible to put into writing multiple years of funding to match another offer. That was 4.5 days ago. I've gotten no response as of yet and since we're 10 business hours (if you count Saturday as a business day) away from end of day on April 15, I guess that's that and that I'm turning down the offer entirely. I wish they'd respond, at least, but I feel confident that I will be better supported in the long term at another school. Again, thanks to you all here, especially @TakeruK, @AP, and @rising_star; your thoughtful responses are what I needed to think this through in agonizing detail.

Oh no! That sucks. So sorry. @light10491 I'm calling my POI later today and then accepting on the portal. Tomorrow is my day to celebrate!!

Like you @ZachGv and @sweetoflove, I've also been torn. I think I've made my decision but it's scary.

That seems unethical to me. I think you should be upfront and honest with them about this. Academia is a small world.

No, it's not. That's why I asked. I'd suggest you do the same.

Glad to know we are all in good company! I had trouble sleeping last night. Currently at a 9. Checking my email like mad hoping for a funding update!!

To me, this seems more like a 9/10 situation. If you'd inserted spaces here--the deep breaths of typing--I might believe differently. Amirite?

Ha! Totally. This.

Wow that's tough. I hope they carefully calibrate such things, i.e., normally two don't take the offers, so they waitlist two applicators m as they know you have a good chance of getting in. Good luck to you!

I'm sorry to hear that!

Argh!!! So frustrating.

How is everyone doing? Please weigh in: 1 = super calm with your decision 5 = torn, in the middle, undecided 10 = FREAKING OUT I went to bed a 2 and woke up feeling about an 8! This may be the hardest decision I've ever made...

I asked the head of my program what all I needed to do because there's about five ways we've communicated: an an online portal, a hard copy contract--attach to email or snail mail it back in--, emails, phone, and carrier pidgeon I can understand why you're confused and would just ask for clarification from someone in the department. And congrats!!

@rising_star great point. After reading this it occurred to me that I had no idea and all that I'd been guaranteed was one year of funding. So, I sent a few emails describing my reluctance to commit without a plan for years 2-5, effectively declining the offer without a full funding package. Thanks for your help! I feel like these comments from you and @TakeruK helped me towards a decision I feel really good about.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to weigh in. @TakeruK I think I needed the extra reminder that nothing is certain and that I really do need multiple years. So, I told them that and am glad to effectively have made a decision!

It's helpful to know that this is not atypical. Sometimes my assumptions are not correct, which is why I ask more questions. You're right, the other offer is more appealing in many ways. I was told there would be a spot in '18 pending a successful grant application, so that's something. Thanks for taking the time to help me think through this!

I am trying to make a decision, and soon. For school A, I have a letter describing my advisor and four years of funding. Whereas at school B, I was told verbally who my advisor would be. I got a one year graduate assistantship and a one year scholarship. I'm now wondering, should I ask for a letter detailing my advisor at school B? Or is that a moot point? I guess what I'm wondering is: how much should I have in writing?

Hi all! My dept has offered me a GA position for my first year of a PhD program, which is great. I'll get a stipend and tuition remission. However, it's assigned to me and I was just told what the work will be. It's not in my focus area and it's not going to fit it with my program or research at all. I was disappointed to say the least. It's going to fill a need for the university, which is good for them, and I'm not opposed to service, but to my mind if I'm going to leave a job to be an impoverished scholar-in-training, I'd like to actually apprentice under my advisor or someone else who will help me build my CV and applicable research skills. My advisor has indicated that there will be a position in her research group next year, which is what I'd like to be doing, but nothing has been written down and I'm nervous that I'll be doing this unrelated grunt work for years to come. Should I just be grateful that I'm being offered anything at all? Ask if I can have another GA position instead? Attempt to get a future GA-ship under my advisor put into writing? Is this kind of thing typical? I guess I thought I'd have some say in the work I'd be doing as a GA. Thank you for any advice on how to navigate this.

Sounds like You've had quite a journey! You didn't mention GRE scores. For this schools, they matter somewhat.

I mean that the dating scene is better in some places than others.

I do think they are, yes. I have met with resistance and rudeness from men who I would now, in retrospect, call sexist d-bags. This is both in the work place and in the dating field. Now, I have met more men who have mentored me professionally and I have had relationships with some, as well. Some good, others not so. But there are good guys out there I think geography matters. A lot. I learned a lot from reading dating advice (Evan Marc Katz is great and writes on this very subject) which helped me better understand how to date and feel good while doing so. Finally, some of the sharpest, coolest ladies I know had no serious relationships until they were older, like mid-20s. I know someone who never had a serious relationship until she was 40! Nothing wrong with them, just perhaps less willing to settle or "out themselves out there." Dating women might be a thing to try, too. Good luck to you. You're not alone.