Non-binary/agender/genderqueer interviewee???

[bcellparty]

Hey all, 

I'm prepping for my first interview at UChicago and feel fairly confident about most things, but attire is (as usual) tricky. 

I identify as agender (they/them pronouns) and have been out in my academic and professional life for three years now. My lab and everyone I've met at the NIH have been incredibly accepting in the past two years of me working here, and I'd like to continue to be out and referred to in a way that makes me feel comfortable. 

A few of my applications asked for pronouns, and UChicago is one of them. Therefore, I feel comfortable presenting as myself for that interview. What about the other ones though? Do I shake hands and say my pronouns after my name? Should I try to pass as cis? I know two of them will be accepting (a friend of mine at UPenn will give the admissions folks the heads-up about my pronouns), but the other two are up in the air.

Any other GQ/NB folks going through this or went through this already? Any advice? 

[.letmeinplz//]

Probably just be yourself and inform them of whatever you prefer. If it is an issue for them to do for the length of a visit it will be an even bigger issue to do for 4 years. So better to know how accommodating they are now (if this is an important issue for you).

Edited January 13, 2017 by .letmeinplz//

[kekology4]

Personally, I just gently correct people if they use the wrong pronouns for me, and tell them the right ones. As for trying to pass as cis, I wouldn't because of what we take on psychologically when that happens, unless it really makes you more comfortable. I would go as the real you. Xx 

[AP]

If you are given a name tag (assuming you are talking about an interview weekend), you can write the pronouns beneath your name; I've seen people do that at conferences. 

I have no idea if my school ask for preferred pronouns in applications. If it doesn't, I would like to know for interview weekend (we -grad students- host events for visiting applicants). I guess I would expect our program coordinator to know this, she is the type of person that gathers information of all sorts to accommodate everyone. So you could contact the coordinator to clarify this so that the message is properly delivered to who ever you interview with.

[bcellparty]

Thanks all! I feel like it won't be much of an issue (I'm pretty good at advocating for myself), but of course the general anxiety of interviews amplifies the gender worries