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About Cheshire_Cat

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  • Program
    Ph.D-Social Sciences

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  1. That being said, suicide isn't the answer. I don't know what the answer is, but it isn't that. However, you are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time.
  2. I'm not a "trigger warning" type person, but I agree. This is some deep painful shit.
  3. My fucking teaching still isn't up to par and I don't know why or what to do about it. I worked so hard on it this semester, and the improvement was not as much as I would have liked. And I'm afraid I won't pass comps because comps are subjective, and my teaching sucks! It especially sucks because I'm the American, so I should have better teaching skills, or English skills at least. (Maybe I should speak with an accent and say I come from a different country like Ross from Friends...) But they give me the hardest sections of the class with the most unmotivated, dumb students. Not everyone is dumb, mind you, but they are night classes, and everyone works all day and then comes to my class- which they don't want to be at in the first place- and they have a hard time understanding things because they don't pay attention and are tired. And I was tired too because I fucking went to class all day too and had to run straight from my last class halfway across campus, to teaching. Give me a break! I feel like I was set up to fail. And I need to convince myself I was set up, because if I really am this crappy of a teacher, I don't want to teach.
  4. Yeah, I think it all depends on the field and what you want from life. The only reason you get a Ph.D in my field is to research and teach in academia, so that is what I'll be doing. (We are also a rare field with our demand for Ph.Ds outweighing our supply by quite a bit, so I'm not worried about being unemployed) But if I didn't think that you could have a good life working in industry in my field, then I wouldn't want to teach it. Life was very comfortable, and I am really glad I had that experience, but I'm also happy to not be there anymore.
  5. Exactly!!! it is choosing what you want to work on and having different things to do every day. At my old job, I felt like a trained monkey could do my job, even though I was in a hard field, because it was so repetitive. And I couldn't take off and go work on a different project for a few days to clear my head, because it was the only project I was on, and I didn't have the freedom to choose differently. Obviously, these aren't the only reasons I decided to go into Academia. My dad is a professor in the same field, so I know what I am getting into. I enjoy research, and teaching is very engaging. But I really needed my freedom, and to be able to do something mentally challenging.
  6. May the fourth be with you... we get it, you are a geek. But so is everyone else and you are all making the same tired joke all day.
  7. I didn't like the 9-5 . I can't understand how people go to work all day and don't go crazy. I like my freedom to come and go as I please. It doesn't matter if I am working more as long as I am working on my own terms. And we need professors in my field because the aforementioned salaried, stable jobs cuts down on people wanting to get a Ph.D, while simultaneously increasing the demand for them.
  8. For a few years I worked a 9-5 with benefits, a nice salary, and 2-4 weeks of vacation plus sick and holidays and a very clear career path. I would say it's not all it's cracked up to be, but it's a good life, just not the one I wanted. I'm fucking insane for quitting that and spending 5 years of my life getting a Ph.D, lol. And I've never been happier.
  9. I think there are a lot of differences between people, and when their interests don't fit our own, we are very quick to write them off as "basic" without realizing that what is interesting to you, may be considered "basic" to someone else. It is fun to think of ourselves as better than everyone else and special because we have a certain career, hobby, or interest that not very many people share. But imo you are just as self absorbed and "basic" as everyone else if you have to talk about your own hobbies and interests in order to interact with other people in a meaningful way.
  10. No. There wasn't enough damage and she said she didn't know... even though my mom followed her for a long time blaring her horn. Likely story.
  11. Also, I'm very protective of my mom because she seems very innocent, and hearing her scream and not being able to do anything about it is very traumatizing, even if she's ok in the end. And I have to study for my comps coming up in 21 days.
  12. Some fucktard in a professional moving truck just backed up into my mom's car and then drove away. I was on the phone with her while it was happening and she was screaming and now I'm shaken. She's ok and her car can still run, but the fucktard was still driving off even though my mom was following him blaring her horn. I am willing to give people benefit of the doubt, but I hope this idiot loses his job.
  13. My cat likes to be outside too. He got lost a few weeks ago for about 3 days, but then sauntered back. It was a hard experience. What got him back was the smell of his litter box, but if your is outdoors, he may not have a litter box. (I normally wouldn't let a cat go outside, but he was going crazy being cooped up in my tiny apartment all day, and has changed for the better now that he goes out sometimes.)
  14. I'm so sorry
  15. I am reviewer number 2!! God, why?! What have I become?! --> I don't like rejecting papers, even if it is just a practice review. Lol!