k_angie

"Alas, Harvard isn't ready for this jelly."

this was up last week but was taken down pretty quickly, luckily I screenshot and configured it 
 

I feel like I get so much crap for this thread, when I was just a lurker I saw so many posts asking about how to find a relationship in grad school or how to make time for finding a relationship in grad school. I took it a little further and asked about finding a husband. I don't expect to meet someone one day and marry them the next then get pregnant the next. However I don't think it is unreasonable to try find a relationship in grad school, especially when I will be around so many new people. I mean the perfect time would be grad school I would think? I just don't see how this got so overblown? I mean who doesn't want to be in a relationship? And married at some point? No one wants to be nearly 40 pushing a baby stroller up and down the street, that's not cool. No one wants to be the bridesmaid in all their friends weddings and still single at nearly 30, that's not cool. Half the people who even replied on here and have advice (or talked crap) are in relationships, long term relationships that will likely lead to marriage or are married/engaged and are MY AGE!! So telling me I need to wait or not want it is ridiculous. You have it so of course you wouldn't stress about getting what you have, you can check that off the list, one less thing to have to worry about. I just don't get it.

None of these countries make you leave immediatly after you complete your degree, there is a grace period that gives you enough time to find work. You are absolutely right that one country might give you more time than another and that for all of them, non EU citizens must be sponsored, but some are not as rigid as others:
 
Switzerland: Non-EU/EFTA citizens studying in Switzerland are permitted to accept part-time employment for a maximum of 15 hours per week, but only after residing in Switzerland for a minimum of 6 months. Students must maintain full-time student status and show regular progress in their studies. Third country nationals who earn a degree from a university in Switzerland may stay in the country for up to six months after graduation to seek full, permanent employment. Non-EU/EFTA citizens must acquire a work permit before beginning their job. In general, the employer submits an application to the relevant authority of the canton where the prospective employee will be working. The application process can take up to several weeks. Candidates who receive a degree from a university in Switzerland will be granted facilitated admission to the Swiss labor market. Employers will still have to show proof that the candidate is of economic and scientific interest to the Swiss labor market.
 
United Kingdom: While studying in the UK, students with Tier 4 (General) Student visas and student visas issued before the points based system (PBS) was introduced in March 2009 are also permitted to work. Employers are not required to obtain permission for students to be able to work. Full time degree students at LSE will have a sticker in their passport or a Biometric Residence Permit. (This is in the form of an ID card) that shows that they are permitted to work.
Students can work part time during term time (dates set by LSE) and full time in vacations. Masters students on one year programmes are not on vacation during the Summer and can only work full time after the official end date of their LSE programme. LSE students studying on degree programmes can work up to 20 hours a week during term time.  Students who have completed their programme can work full time from the official end date of the LSE programme until the expiry date of their visa.  LSE students on 9 month Master programmes will have permission to remain in the UK for two months after the end date of their programme. Students who submit an in-time application to switch into a different immigration category (for example, Tier 2) will obtain an automatic extension of their student visa until a decision is made and they can continue to work under the student immigration rules. the government has made it easier for employers to recruit students who are already in the UK with Tier 4 (General) Student visas.  
France: International students have the right to work while studying in France as long as they are enrolled in an institution that participates in the national student health-care plan. Students who are not nationals of EU member countries must also hold a valid residency permit. The right to work applies to all students, including those who are in France for the first time, those who are enrolled in the first year of a university program, and those who are enrolled full-time in a language school. The law allows students to work 964 hours in a given year, which corresponds to 60% of full-time employment for the year. You are no longer required to obtain temporary employment authorization in order to work part-time while enrolled. Students who have earned at least a master’s degree or the equivalent may apply for a one-time (nonrenewable) temporary residency authorization valid for 12 months beyond the date of expiration of the student’s residency permit. The authorization enables the student to work at any job up to the limit of 60% of the official work week (that is, just over half-time employment). Students who obtain a job related to their academic program at a rate of compensation equal to at least 1.5 times the national minimum wage may enter full-time employment by filing a request for change of status (from student to employee) at their prefecture. Applicants for employment authorization must submit an employment contract or offer of employment from a French firm. In adjudicating the application, the authorities will take several criteria into account, including the firm’s motives, the applicant’s background, and the amount of time the applicant has spent in French higher education.

Congratulations (:


  
Good luck. Hope good news arrives on your door step when you you get home!


  
Congratulations to you too.

Ok yeah guys... that's exactly everything I wanted to say! lol
 
The only problem is that there is a catch 22 many of us find ourselves in:
To get a job one needs years of work experience
To get work experience you try to find internships to get your foot in the door
But to get an internship you need to be enrolled in a program
But to get in a good program often requires relevant work experience....
 
SHOOT ME... it's the vicious circle I find myself in right now.

Prison wife

(Too much Netflix for me)

hunger games

February 16th is when it is too late.

Dire Straits

Well I would rather see warm regards than best. Even I use Warm Regards to Isign most of my emails. It's simple and friendly

Well what I did was mention to my referees that although my date is far off, I plan to submit my application by one this specific date. So well they uploaded my LORs in that manner.

Why don't you mention the same? Tell them that even though the application submission dates were far off, you wanted yourself to submit them ASAP hence asked them for the LORs early. I am sure they won't go crazy on you but on the other hand, it reflects on your sincerity.

Good luck!

Did anyone go to school far away from home? I applied to schools that were all far away from home (like in other states or a minimum of 2 hours away) except for one which I don't know that I want to go to because I can't handle living in this horrible town anymore.  I am afraid, I have never lived away from home (except a 3 month internship 2 hours away) I have no idea how to pick out good laundry detergent or balance my diet or anything that at 23 I feel like you should know.  How did you manage ALONE in a new place? I am excited to move and start over, hopefully make new friends.  I am afraid making friends will be so hard.  I NEED new friends though.  My best friend just found out she is pregnant and in all honesty I can't imagine continuing a friendship with her.  It sounds childish and awful but I can't be her friend and watch her go through what I want so badly... Anyways I only have 3 close-ish friends and they all are in or getting into relationships and obviously I'm not because my life sucks. I need more friends (preferably single) who I can party with and study with.  How did you make friends? Did it come easily? I am a friendly person I can make conversation but I get shy.  
 
Also was it more easy for you to be alone in grad school? I'm sure some of you live alone with no roommates (not sure if I want that yet) is it easy for you to go out alone and do activities alone? I always wanted to try going to a bar alone and maybe watching a football game but I HATE being alone like sitting there feeling awkward like people are staring and wondering why I'm a loser and alone.  I just want my grad school experience to be the best thing ever, I want a fresh start in all aspects. Ideally I want to meet someone and date but my life is sucking lately and I can't solely count on that to happen I guess.   

It seems like any relationship would be better than no relationship. 

If this is what you want and your mindset, I encourage you to put exactly this, verbatim, into your online dating profile.

Just to chime in; my momma is an academic who had her first baby at 35, and her last at 43, and we all turned out fine (in fact, I'd say we're a pretty kickass bunch). It also meant that by the time she had us, she was well-established enough in her job that she could spend more time at home with us without missing out on building a career. Having kids late is definitely not the end of the world, and your eggs are nowhere near bad quality unless you're, like, fifty when you start popping them out. (Also, an FYI, my parents met at work after they had both gotten their PhDs; both of them had been engaged during grad school, but both broke off those engagements en route because grad school + serious relationships can be hard to juggle.)

......me

Idk I mean I know it seems unrealistic but I know one person who met their SO in grad school and they have been together 3 years and will probably get married. I just want to be like that.   I know people who have met their spouses in undergrad, at work, at bars, online, in social groups, in Greek organizations, in volunteer organizations...there are a billion ways to meet someone else.  Just because someone else met their SO in grad school doesn't mean you will have the same experience, especially in a female dominated field.  Also remember that most people do not go to grad school, but somehow most people get married.  Obviously there are other ways to meet a partner.   There's no guarentee in a job I will find someone because I will be working so much but in grad school I will have classes with other people, and I can sit in the library   I think you have two misconceptions about the way dating (and life) works after college: one, that you will have more free time in grad school, and two, that relationships happen as easily post-college as they do in college.  Let me disabuse you of those both right now.   As others have mentioned you will actually have LESS free time as a grad student than as a working adult.  In a 9-5 you work from well, 9 to 5.  After that your time is yours, and you have all days on the weekends and the evenings to yourself (how glorious!).  Even if you worked 9 to 7 you still have evenings after 7 and weekends.  That is NOT the case in grad school.  One of my MSW friends literally works from 10 to 10 most days, between classes, fieldwork, and studying.  I think she takes Fridays "off" to have to herself, but she also does some work on the weekends (writing papers, studying, etc.)   You have LESS free time in grad school than you have in a regular 40-50 hour a week job.  I have friends who work full time now and they are always asking me to hang out on the weekends and in the evenings and I'm like "Sorry guys, I have to write a paper" or "Sorry guys, I'm teaching a late night class" or "Sorry guys, studying for quals" (in years 3 or 4).
Notion 2: In college, friendships are easy.  Everyone's looking for friends!  You can sit with someone randomly in the library or the caf and start a deep conversation about Proust.  You can stop by your friend's dorm room for a chat.  You can call your biology labmate at 2 am, knowing she's also still awake, and chill or commiserate.  And college students are also usually on the prowl for romantic relationships, so all of those things can happen in romantic contexts, too.  You also may constantly run into your friends and plan spontaneous fun - let's go out tonight!  Let's go grab a coffee right now!  Come over to my dorm room in 15 minutes!   "Real life," unfortunately, does not work like that.  In grad school, I've never had anyone walk over to me in the library while I was studying unless they already knew me.  I have to *schedule* every social engagement I have with my friends, sometimes a week in advance, even if it's just getting lunch or coffee because we have busy lives and don't necessarily live near each other.  "Spontaneous" means we planned it a day or two before.  My calendar looks like a rainbow threw up on it.  And much the same for romantic relationships, at this point you have to make concerted efforts to meet people.  I mean, certainly, some people just spontaneously meet in a coffee shop or at a bar or whatever.  But even people who meet "spontaneously" have often made time in their social lives to go out and try to meet people - they schedule in that party, that mixer, that social group, that alumni area meeting.  It's not like you're gonna sit in the library and the perfect person for you is going to walk up and ask you out (I mean, it's possible, but much less likely post-undergrad).  Your roommate may be able to introduce you to some people, but likely your roommate will also be a busy grad student or young professional who won't be introducing you to a constant stream of people.  Your classmates are also older, and many of them will already be in relationships, or not interested in dating, or in other complicated social arrangements that don't lend themselves to availability.  I'm in a PhD program; I was one of the youngest people in my program at 22, and I would say 60-70% of us were already partnered when we came in.   Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that you can't have a social life or meet people in grad school.  You can, and I do know several people (including one of my best friends who just got engaged) who have met long-term partners in their grad programs.  But it's harder, and you have less free time.  You have to make the effort - you have to make time, you have to put yourself out there, you have to go to mixers and socials, just the same as if you were working full time.  Even if you harbor romantic fantasies of meeting someone in a bookstore over a warm coffee and your favorite new novel, you still have put yourself in the bookstore for that to work.  But if you're doing fieldwork 3x a week for 8 hours a day and then you have papers and test to write and study for in between, it can be hard to make time for that.   If you work 9-5, you can be at the bookstore by 5:30 if you want.   If you are 22, please relax, lol.  I'm 27, and I got married when I was 26.  You don't realize how young 22 is until you're not 22 anymore, but you have PLENTY of time to meet someone and get married.  The average age of marriage these days is 26 for women (and 28 for men).  There are a lot of highly educated women getting married in their early 30s and even later.  You have time.  You ain't dead yet.   It seems to me like you want to get an MSW because you want to actually be a social worker, and I agree with TakeruK that social and personal reasons are just as valid and important as professional and academic reasons in selecting a graduate school.  You need to be happy.   The way to meet people in grad school is to get active.  Go to graduate student mixers (there's usually a grad student social group, or several of them, that plan these).  Go out into the city in which your university is and go to bars or join social groups (e.g., I joined a social sports league and played kickball on a team to meet friends!)  Stay connected to the things you love and you'll meet other people who like them - play in an orchestra, join a running group, go to Toastmasters, hang out in lounges and bars.  And don't go into every relationship thinking "Is he/she the one?" because you put way too much pressure on yourself, on your partner and on the relationship.  You just want to say "I wonder if I like this person."  Then "Hmm, I wonder if I like this person enough to last through all the things I can't stand about them."  Once you get past those stages then it's like "Hmm, maybe we could build something really long term?"  It's iterative, it takes time.  What if you don't meet someone until 12 or 18 months in?  You don't want to put pressure on you and them to try to get married in the next 6-12 months, so take it easy and realize that your life and prospects for marriage are not over once you are out of grad school.

Haha, no it's not weird and bad. There are plenty of 22 year olds (like me!) who are very far from engaged or married. I'm just saying... there's no hurry. I literally just hurried into a relationship and now I'm kind of reevaluating it right now. I think I did it just so I could check that off my list... "one serious relationship; check". 

I can understand wanting to be in a relationship; go for it - but don't compare yourself to others or feel like you're behind. The former never helps and the latter isn't true. 

I definitely have thought about what happens if I don't meet someone in grad school.. But I still want to go. I would be really devastated not meeting someone though. I mean I feel like past college there is no way to meet guys or people in general... You can at work but dating at work is frowned on. I figure going out of state and moving into an apartment with a roommate hopefully they will be cool and I can use them as a tool meet guys also.

In the end I know I want to go into social work, I know what field and everything but I feel like finding a serious relationship while there wouldn't hurt. I'm 22 almost 23 and not getting any younger. I was in the MSW forum and there are women in there who are my age and married or engaged and their fiancé pays for their school. At this point I need to have a serious relationship. 22 and never having a serious relationship is weird and bad. So in a way I do think I am going to school for that. I went to college for that, I still did great... I didn't find a husband or bf but I got a degree. It seems weird and dumb but I just know I want to get married and have a family and social work isn't a field that is constantly 24 hour work like a doctor or lawyer. Don't get me wrong I know it is a lot of work but it isn't like law or being a doctor, you can have a family and do it. My therapist is an LISW and had her kid at 17 and got married at 20 hs another at 22 and finished her Masters when her kid was like 5. So if isn't impossible. I can't explain it, I don't think not finding someone will affect me so badly that my grades would slip or anything. I would be bummed but I can maintain my school work.

Thanks curious_grad.

I hope IHEID too takes their result out ASAP.

As for my letter of motivation, I would say focus on why do you want to do the course. That's the most imp thing. I dedicated just a bit on my why do I want to do it from sciences Po. Most part I covered was my future ambitions both short and long term goals plus why the course.

Hope this helps. Pls free to pm me if you have any more questions.

Okay so I attended IHEID Online Info session last evening. I got to know 3 things;

1. The replace button is only applicable to those people who couldn't get their referees to upload their letter and hence want to change those referees.

2. We can start checking our application status from 15th Dec as the admission committee will start updating it from that date. Last year I know people started getting offers around 10th dec for diff courses.

3. Also this time they will try to give scholarship decisions along with the admission decisions, that is, by 15th you shall know if your scholarship application was successful or not.

Yeah I got the admissible mail from Sciences Po too and talking to their Indian representative I gathered that they shall get back to applicants within 40 days of applying. So well fingers crossed. As for financing, even in am looking for outside funding and anything I can get my hands on as without it, it won't be possible to attend school.

I did apply to Sussex for Gender and Development programme. Let's see what happens I am anyway more interested in getting to IHEID or Sciences Po or SOAS. I shall be applying by 15th to SOAS & LSE too. Oxford still gives me time till 24th Jan.

As for your chances, I don't think so there should be a problem. Like yesterday, their was this prospective applicant who mentioned how he is out of school since 2006 and want to apply for the masters programme. Theses guys said that this is not a problem, as long as that applicant can explain why he wants to return back to school once again. If you have done that clearly, I don't think you should be worried.

As for my application word limit, well I had to explain one para just about what I had done since my last application. Hence the word limit was a bit out. Apart from that it was dot 800 words. Anyway I hope so it doesn't really matter.

Anyway you done with all the other applications? I have still 3 more to go and one fellowship. Sigh.

Hi!

My friend faced the same problem. Though she mailed the university and told this. The university people had increased the deadline late by 5 days as they received many similar emails by other applicants.

I suggest you write to the admission people and then wait for their response. I hope it shouldn't be a problem.

Good luck

Yes. I used the same LOR. Rather the school which denied me admission last year, already had it and uploaded it to my application on my teachers behalf. Although, I did confirm with the school regarding this who didn't seem to mind.

I am not applying for PhDs but have applied for masters in international development. I would be happy to review your sop if you want.