LittleDarlings

Ok first of all I would NEVER have tricked my ex into getting me pregnant. Never. I knew how he felt about becoming a parent and we did everything to avoid getting pregnant. I actually really enjoyed just spending time with him and I didn't obsess every moment I was with him about babies. I did think it was kind of wrong and selfish for him to decide that he didn't want children for 10 years.. I mean that is just unreasonable. He was 20 and I was 22 so I mean I guess I could see waiting a few years, but 10!! That is selfish, especially when your gf is older and anyone who knows about egg quality knows that it starts to decline in the 30s, not saying you can't have kids past 30 but there are higher risks, and it gets harder to become pregnant... Just a lot of issues that can be avoided. I don't think I lied or was dishonest with him, you don't go to a guy you just started dating and say "omg I want to have babies and get married as quickly as possible" no guy would stick around for that so maybe I hid that aspect but I didn't lie. I said I wanted kids eventually and to be married and that was true (I just hoped eventually would be sooner rather than later). I don't think we were compatible, I honestly kind of knew we weren't but I was FINALLY in a relationship, and I had a boyfriend, I was someones girlfriend, I had someone to take cute pictures with, and text all day and say really cute stuff to, and cuddle with, and I didn't want to not have that. So I did whatever I had to do to make sure that didn't end. Obviously it ended so I failed but I tried really hard to fix everything before it ended. I think it is possible to have someone with similar interests and goals and they can be attractive too. Like I said my friends have dated guys who were not only perfect for them but really attractive. So I have to compromise one or the other? I understand looks can grow, I have experienced it. At the same time I think there is a limit. I wouldn't pursue someone who I had absolutely not attraction to at all just because we had good conversation or they were an amazing person. I don't think anyone would do that..? As far as this new guy, I JUST started talking to him like 2 days ago so what will happen is yet to be determined.

I didn't think about it like that. I just like being a "woman in a mans world" I want to be taken care of by someone. I just never said it as a huge deal to not pay. Needing a guy to validate me is wrong, I definitely know that but it is just so important. Being in a relationship makes you important, obviously someone picked you to make a part of their life, if no one picked you then... You kind of aren't important at all to anyone. I mean yeah your family but everyone is important to their family pretty much.

In the end it doesn't even matter, I'm going to keep dating, I am kind of broadening my dating the new guy I'm talking to who seems really nice is... Bigger. I don't know how I feel about that because it just isn't attractive to me but at the same time he is nice, wants a girlfriend and I want a nice boyfriend so yay that's fitting. He likes to shoot I like to shoot and he's country which is cool. He could always lose the weight, we could work out together that would be cute. So I guess I am picky and a little superficial but I just want what I want. I feel like its so unfair that I don't get to be a cute couple. My friends have attractive boyfriends, former college football players and baseball plays and athletes and I want attractiveness. Status is important to me in all aspects of my life.

Like I said I call a spade a spade. I'm not going to sugar coat if someone is unattractive and their partner is hot. If you're ok with dating down then that's good for you but I'm not. I'm attractive and I want someone who is attractive too, I'm certainly not going to be the only person out of all my friends dating an ugly guy. Maybe you're ok with that but I'm not. Since you don't know anything about me you don't know why I haven't found a relationship and I have no doubt I will get into one very soon. So thanks but no thanks for your "advice".

I'm really stubborn. My therapist even told me I am really resistant to change and changing my mind set. It isn't that I don't want to I just don't know how. I just feel what I feel, I get sad and down and I can't control that. I have no idea how I would make myself not feel pissed off or jealous when I have to hear my friends talk about their happy relationships. I just want THAT happiness.

For my fellowship I used parts of my SOP, specifically when they asked about my future goals. For the fellowship I applied to they had a prompt and questions to answer so I couldn't use my SOP. I did gather ideas from the SOP though

This maybe a dumb question but if depression isn't constant sadness what is it? I am just worried that maybe I am not really depressed? Maybe I am just ridiculous. I mean my biggest issue in life is the fact that I have no boyfriend, how can that equal depression? I just feel like it isn't real, like I'm just being dumb. I want to make sure that if I get on a medication to regulate my moods I am doing it for a reason, because I actually have an issue. Does that make sense?

I feel like I get so much crap for this thread, when I was just a lurker I saw so many posts asking about how to find a relationship in grad school or how to make time for finding a relationship in grad school. I took it a little further and asked about finding a husband. I don't expect to meet someone one day and marry them the next then get pregnant the next. However I don't think it is unreasonable to try find a relationship in grad school, especially when I will be around so many new people. I mean the perfect time would be grad school I would think? I just don't see how this got so overblown? I mean who doesn't want to be in a relationship? And married at some point? No one wants to be nearly 40 pushing a baby stroller up and down the street, that's not cool. No one wants to be the bridesmaid in all their friends weddings and still single at nearly 30, that's not cool. Half the people who even replied on here and have advice (or talked crap) are in relationships, long term relationships that will likely lead to marriage or are married/engaged and are MY AGE!! So telling me I need to wait or not want it is ridiculous. You have it so of course you wouldn't stress about getting what you have, you can check that off the list, one less thing to have to worry about. I just don't get it.

Lol umm I call a spade a spade. If I person is blatantly a 2 then sorry that's their problem but don't be a 2 and dating a 10 it's just not ok. So yes I have no problem labeling someone a 2 or a 10. Sorry not sorry. I totally think you can be attracted to someone who isn't as attractive. I dated someone that my friends would have not considered attractive at all, I didn't even consider him attractive until we talked and out conversations just clicked perfectly and flowed and he became more and more attractive. I know it can happen but at the same time it just doesn't sit well with me when I am walking through the mall and I see it. You have to eventually be compatible with someone. I do think I deserve a relationship, I have been through so much shit in the last few years from dating I don't see why I wouldn't deserve a relationship? I don't see how other people can easily fall into them and I can't. I'm not some terrible person and I would be a much better person as a girlfriend than I am not being one. If you don't like the post then you can easily leave and never read it or reply again.

That could be possible but I don't mention wanting kids and a family to men I go out with. My ex and I really only talked about that a few times and each time he was saying "if I got you pregnant I wouldn't want you to get rid of it but being a aren't right now would suck". Which I agreed with, even though secretly I think being a parent right now would be AWESOME! It was odd though he would make jokes or comment about our babies but when he ended it, actually suggested we take a break which I wasn't into, he said "I am not ready to get married, when you date someone they are either the person you marry or you break up". He was weird about marriage but I honestly was never the one bringing it up, he said he didn't want to get married or have kids until his 30s... He was 20, 10 years is way longer than I will wait for marriage and kids, I never said that to him though. I am not trying to skate around my responsibility in the break up, maybe I did something, maybe we weren't compatible, I admit I had major insecure moments with him but he knew and we talked about it and he would get pissed but he got over it. I just feel like one day he and I were fine and happy and he missed me and couldn't wait to see me, then the next he was suggesting a break. I do go on a lot of dates but they spring from online dating or tinder and I just feel like you have less of a chance of compatibility using that method. Specifically tinder, the 2 guys I have gone out with from there I literally pretty much knew nothing about besides their names. They just went what I expected, well the one Friday. Maybe I am a little picky but I want someone attractive who I will want to be with and go out with and have cute Facebook pics with and not someone my friends would be like "oh that's your boyfriend? Hmm". I believe in couples having matching attractive levels. It is dumb but I just hate seeing a guy who is a 10 with a girl that's a 2, unbalanced is not ok. Yesterday my therapist suggested I reevaluate myself and I can and will but at the same time there are people in relationships who are way more mentally screwed than I am, so there is still no reason for me to not be in a relationship.

I definitely am thinking about trying them. I just want to be happy like I want to feel genuinely happy and not fake it everyday or feel angry all the time at everyone for no reason. I might try it but the part that scares me the most is the suicidal feelings that I could possibly experience with anti depressants

I just think it is traditional, he asked me out. I mean if I wanted to pay for myself I could have went by myself. I'm not saying I always expect the man to pay all the time. When I went out with my ex for the first time he paid for dinner I paid for the movie (he didn't want me to but I felt it was right) after we dated we split meals most of the time. I just think on a first date the guy should pay. It's manly and traditional.

Does anyone on here have any experience using anti-depressants? Any side effects? Negative thoughts, suicidal thoughts? My therapist suggested a second time that I go to the doctor and try an anti-depressant. I am VERY against it, my brothers best friends dad took them and he ended up committing suicide. I just don't like the idea of possibly becoming zombie like. I feel like right now I am lively and funny and outgoing, I know I have major down points and I used to know when it would happen. Like I have a certain week that my mood just turns to absolute shit, now it is more everyday. I just feel like everything sucks, everyone sucks like I just hate everything. I hate having to be fake with people and pretend that I care when I could give less than a crap. It all comes back down to the same thing. At the same time I don't like the idea that I can't regulate my moods, I should be able to do that without the help of medication. The idea of being forever dependent on a medication to make me feel happy is weird. I am not against people who take it because I feel like there are people who genuinely need it, but when I think about depression I think about people who are so sad that they can't leave their house, or just cry all the time. I don't think that is me. I am just afraid of trying it, my family would think it is absolutely insane. I am going into a profession where I would be working with people who have mental illness. I don't think badly about mental illness but I just don't want to take an anti-depressant. I don't want to feel bad. I mean either way I feel bad I guess.

Lol Budlight limes make me fake? I like limearitas too!! What does that say about me

For me I didn't visit any of the schools, in all honesty I picked the schools I applied to for probably really dumb reasons (at least 2 of them) but for my top pick (OSU) I had lived in CBus for a short time so I know the area a little but not the campus, I just had good memories of being in the town. For Case it is a good school with a great program (for me) and it isn't super far from home. So I think location was a big thing to me, also cost. Without scholarships Case would be impossible, OSU is more reasonable. I didn't really look at professors much to be honest.

I tasted PBR on a date I thought it was gross. It seems really strong, but I'm not a big beer drinker. I like Budlight limes, and I tried Guinness which I actually kind of liked because it wasn't super carbonated, and it had a coffee after taste. I want to try to like beer, I have tried pumpkin beer which was good, and they have some craft beers that sound good. I just lie sweet drinks so beer isn't my first choice but if there's nothing else I will drink it. I'm more of a wine girl.

I feel like you're totally overthinking this. This isn't hunger games you don't have to kill someone to come out on top, just give the guy the notes. It doesn't mean he saw you as an easy target, he obviously thought you two were friendly enough that he could do that. No biggie. If the notes that he offered aren't super old why not ask about them? If it were me and I was sick and missed class and needed notes and someone offered I would have followed up until I got them.

Depends on the program I think CWRU was accepting until April or May

Lol yet you keep coming back and replying :/

They ended it, not me. Believe me I did everything to avoid that outcome. I mean everything, it was actually really really sad when it did end. I had my first panic attack like full on panic attack it was so weird. So do you think I actually WANTED my relationship to end, the absolute most important thing to me ending? Definitely didn't. Unfortunately I couldn't make him stay. He wanted to go to school and move a few hours away to live with his dad... Stupidest thing I have ever heard. Stupid me though because before we became official he told me that could happen but he said if it did we would figure it out, then he said he was going to extend his active duty so he could stay in the area for another year, then his dad told him about some agriculture job that paid really well but was far away. That's what I get for dating a 20 year old who of course didn't know what he wanted but I thought as a marine he would somewhat have his shit together. I will say though after last nights date and the one before where I had to pay and even the ones before that led to nothing or were awkward, I have considered not going on anymore dates for a while but I just can't NOT date. It's like wasting time in my life where I could be meeting someone. I would have to delete my dating sites and apps and then what will I be doing? Working, eating, sleeping and that sounds terrible and I really won't meet any men doing that.

Umm no actually. If you went out with the guys I have gone out with you would be in the exact same position as I am. I online date, I'm pretty (not being vain I just her it enough to believe it) so of course a lot of guys want to go out with me, if they aren't what I'm looking off I don't go out with them again. I want what I want. Problem tonight was that he couldn't make conversation and he was soooooo boring like honestly. I don't know if I was just extremely tired from working today or if he was just genuinely boring. Either way not going out with him again. He was also not tall and he was really thin which I don't like. I like buff and tall. Like I said I want what I want. I don't have a problem keeping a relationship because I wasn't the one who ended my relationships in the past. It was beyond my control.

There's probably a post in the city guide section.

Or you can just decide which is more important to you, your passion for your career or you relationship. Hmmm priorities. If your relationship is important then follow him wherever he goes... If it isn't then don't, I don't see why this is so complicated and I don't see how there are so many questions about it yet people keep asking. If you care about your relationship FIGURE IT OUT obviously other people do.