maelia8

I have a really hard time hearing statements like this because based on my experience, the exact opposite is true: a career is a lifelong investment that will stay with you no matter what, while a relationship that might seem really important right now might fail (for various reasons) and leave you regretting all of the time and sacrifice that you invested in it. I have too many friends who've made cross-country moves, quit jobs, dropped out of school, sold houses, or given up on other dreams to be with "the one," only to have that relationship end within the next couple of years, leaving them regretting that choice. My mother quit college at 19 to get married to her first husband, and my father turned down an offer at his dream university to go to a closer, lower-ranked institution because of a relationship that quickly became toxic and miserable. Both of them regretted these decisions deeply and always told me that while you're young, the best thing to invest in is yourself, not another person, and I believe them. You can always commit to someone later, but you can never go back and rebuild your professional background. Yes, school will always be around, but the later you start it, the later you will engaged in getting your degree and the less professional experience you will have by the time you reach an age when it's better to be well-established in your chosen field. That relationship with the person who loves you and wants a family right now might not last (which is a risk that you have to take when you choose get involved) but if you go to school and get a degree or qualification, that degree is never going to leave your life. I guess the question here is really, "What are you willing to compromise on?" Maybe a compromise that for one person might seem really worth it is for another person absolutely unthinkable. Sometimes compromise can be easy; sometimes compromise can be hard. If you want your relationship to work in the long run, you have to find somebody who has similar ideas about compromise as you do, because otherwise there will end up being a lot of resentment and guilt between the partners. I think that each partner has the right to have some things that they are unwilling to compromise on (for example, their education), and if the other partner does not agree with these things, then the relationship was simply not meant to be.

I have an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite and I prefer digital editions. On the kindle I can highlight, bookmark, and leave notes just like I can in a physical book, and after years of buying pricy hardcover editions, the digital versions are refreshingly cheaper. A kindle has a specially calibrated screen so that it doesn't strain your eyes (I read on mine each day for hours without problems) and it's lightweight and easily transportable, unlike half a dozen books. Since a kindle only connects to the internet to download books (if you set it up that way), the internet and other windows are not there to distract you. After I'd bought literally hundreds of books (I have a library filling seven bookcases and overflowing into my closet), the kindle was the best investment I ever made to lighten my load.

I'll be in Germany until my job contract ends on June 30th, so after that, it's back to the US to spend a month with my family in Oregon (I've been living, working, and traveling overseas for the past two years, so going home is my idea of a good vacation right now). My program starts on August 20th, so I'm probably going to have to spend the six weeks before that going through all that crap I have stored at my parents' place because I promised that after this move I'll have nothing at their house anymore (looking forward to going through my 2,000 books and getting rid of almost all of them … ugh). My university is six hours away from my hometown, so I'll probably go down there a couple of times to look at apartments and try to find a place to move into by August 1st or 15th. If there's time, I want to read over my thesis and some of my favorite secondary sources again to "get back in the mood" (I'm two years out of undergrad), keep up on learning French (my secondary grad school language), and do some hiking and rafting (because Oregon is an awesome place to do this).

I won't be able to register for classes until August, so I'm not buying books yet, but I have plenty to do before then! 1) move from Germany back to my hometown in the states at the end of June, condensing everything I own here into two full suitcases 2) going through all of the stuff I left at my parents' house for the last two years and getting rid of anything I'm not bringing with me to university 3) finding a place to live in my university town, which is six hours away from my hometown (no spontaneous visiting) 4) pack everything I own in a pickup and drive it down to my new place by August 20th Did I mention I have over 2,000 books stored with my mom that I need to sort through/dispose of? Not looking forward to it ...

I have moved for my career/education five times in the last eight years, three of those times overseas, and each time I've had to break up with a partner to make that move. I have never regretted these decisions. I am not yet at an age where stability/having children matters to me, and my possibility of a bright professional future is still the most important thing. When I enter into a relationship with a new partner, I'm very clear with them about what comes first, and if they have a problem with that, then the relationship wasn't meant to be. Learning to let go of someone (even if you love them) when you know it's the right decision is something that everyone should learn how to do at some point in their lives. If I sacrificed my dreams in any way to make someone else happy, I know that I'd regret it for the rest of my life, and I'm sure it wouldn't be long before my partner began to feel guilty about asking me to give up something so important to me for him. Over time I'm sure that I'd grow to resent him for having asked it of me and it would probably poison our relationship. Of course, I'm not saying that there can't be compromise if both parties are amenable. My mother became a stay-at-home mom when I was born, but when I was fifteen and my father sold his business, my mother told him that she wanted to open her own restaurant, and he supported her all the way. I'm sure that someday I'll reach an age/point in my relationship where I'm willing to compromise on some things, especially if I'm already married with children. However, that time hasn't come yet, and I still have big dreams that I want to achieve before I even think of settling down with someone.

Yup Totally jazzed to be going to Berkeley, but not looking forward to those prices ...

Depends on how expensive/difficult to find parking is in the area you're moving to. Where I'm moving buying a car wouldn't pay off in my opinion as you can end up spending hundreds in parking fees per year. Look up what the costs of parking are and what kind of university parking passes are available at your institution. Also take time to carefully consider the costs of commuting in terms of time and stress. Would you have to commute along a highway with serious traffic issues? Would living further away limit your involvement in campus life, and if so, is that something you're ok with?

I didn't have any when I got the card, but I did already have a regular account with them and my parents bank there too, so that might have something to do with it? It's a bank for military families, so they might have different standards/requirements than most normal banks.

I'm moving to Berkeley, CA ( think the San Francisco Bay Area currently IS the most expensive place to live in the country) and the rent there for a single apartment can be as high as 1300-1400 … I'm looking at 800-1000 a month for a roommate situation! 500-600 sounds pretty darn cheap to me

I have USAA too (for regular banking as well as my credit card), and I love it! They have amazing customer service via telephone and internet, their rates are very reasonable (especially for overseas withdrawals), and they allow you to withdraw from any ATM up to six times per month and they refund you the ATM fees

1. ESL teacher overseas (already done it and loved it, but would need an Education MA to pursue further) 2. History professor (just have to get that Ph.D. and then a job … maybe not so realistic?) 3. Broadway or Opera costume designer (at the moment only an amateur) 4. Diplomat (would have to take the foreign service test, which is NOT happening during the Ph.D.) 5. Librarian or Archivist (the part I love about history … but I don't know if I could deal with the lack of interpersonal work)

I totally know these feelings, you are not alone! I got into a top-ranked program in my field and still can't believe they want ME, out of all the 500 people who applied. I keep expecting to wake up to an email from them telling me it was all a lie

In terms of the number of channels offered and the possibility of custom channel modification, the Roku is vastly superior to the fireTV, as well as being cheaper (for the basic version).

HAHAHAHA the Geico one is especially delightful Glad to see that some people can take rejection with humor.

My wait list notifications from UChicago and UMichigan were both quite nicely phrased, my rejection from UCLA made them sound a bit peevish when they talked about the incredible volume of apps, almost sounding like evaluating all of the applicants was a chore that they disliked … my rejections from UNC Chapel Hill and Stanford were much more friendly in tone.

I'm with kyjin. Unless you have a whole lot of furniture and apartment supplies that you want to bring with you, I'd try to fit it in two suitcases and a carry-on. Anything else you can just buy there, and if you're moving in with roommates, chances are they already have most of the things you'll need, aside from your personal bedroom furniture. Bonus: since you're moving to the Bay Area, intense winter clothing is not necessary, so unless you plan on going to Tahoe to ski every weekend, you can leave that stuff at home (I'm from the Bay Area and now live in a place with actual winter, so I speak from experience). As someone who has moved across oceans several times in the last ten years, each time reducing my worldly possessions to two full suitcases, I can confidently tell you that you don't need half of the things that you think you need.

At the very least, even if you can't manage to get any sort of unofficial meeting arranged through the department, you can go on a tour and get a look at campus, as well as taking some time to walk around the town and look at neighborhoods where you might want to live. I'd definitely go there before making such a big decision.

Is this a situation where you would have the option to switch again after your first year? If so, I'd start with the RA. If after a year you feel like it isn't enough money and the research option isn't worth it considering how much you make, then switch to a TA.

@CatsandScarves, congratulations on making your final decision! Was it a tough choice?

I find working out (stretching, sit-ups, push-ups, going running) to be easiest early in the morning when it's still cool and before I've eaten yet. After eating I never feel motivated to work out (it even makes me get stomach cramps sometimes), and right after work all I want to do is veg out with mindless internet or reading, then it's dinner and then time to get down to writing. I am a person who usually feels most alert early in the morning, so that might also be why early morning workouts appeal to me.

Oh man I have SO many hot library shenanigan fantasies … I guess I'll have to keep dating other humanities people to make those come true

@GeoDUDE!, that is probably a pretty good attitude to have

As a current ETA who will be heading off to grad school to start my Ph.D. in something other than English teaching, I was wondering if if others who have made this transition would like to share the things about their ETA experience that helped to prepare them for aspects of grad school - researching, teaching, etc. What useful grad school skills did you develop as an English teaching assistant overseas? What challenges did you face that helped make you a stronger candidate? How has your time overseas and outside of academia changed or strengthened your professional goals?

I keep feeling like I should be spending the next five months doing some sort of epic training to prepare for grad school, like rereading all of the primary source information on my research topic or learning a new language … maybe just walking around with books balanced on my head and hoping that I can reacquire all of that knowledge that has left my brain since finishing undergrad ...

At my undergrad institution, juniors and seniors who had taken class with a prof before usually referred to them by first name (the cue to do this would usually come from a professor signing an email with their first name). I did go to quite a small school though, so that might have something to do with it. At my grad school's visit day, all of the current grad students (in the Ph.D. program) referred to their doctoral advisors by first name.