oldlady

Jobs come and go, but the best relationships last a lifetime, and all successful relationships are grounded in compromise. However, I neither made nor asked for compromises until I had a ring on my finger. Since that time, we've lived in four different cities -- I've moved twice for him, and he's moved twice for me -- and we've each held four different jobs. Neither of us has regretted any of the moves, and in May, we'll be married 13 years...

Sounds like an econ prof I used to know...

frog prince

Pedigrees open doors, but people walk into rooms (grasshopper).

strong arm

I, too, am waiting for the official letter, but this is still a million times better than waiting for the initial e-mail!

If you are truly committed to grad school, do both option 1 and option 2 (doing 2 part-time). If you don't demonstrate that you're capable of getting As in your subject matter, you will be hard-pressed to get into a good program next year, no matter how much you improve your GRE or SOP. (But you also must improve your GRE.) Good luck!

Explain to your parents that the networking at Georgetown in your field, and the benefits of being a Georgetown alum in your field, are equivalent to the networking at/alumni benefits of Brown in other fields. As someone who has attended more than one Ivy League institution, I imagine that your parents will respond to this language.

When I was in my mid-20s, I was passionate about film and wanted to get an MA in Film Theory at NYU. I would have had to pay for it through loans, and I had no idea how the degree would pay for itself in the long run. So instead of going into debt, I moved to Los Angeles and starting working in the film industry. I still read a ton about film theory and even wrote a bit, but I was supporting myself instead of going into debt. I found a career path in the film industry that interested me, and subsequently decided to get my MBA so that I could continue to advance in my career. I took out loans for my MBA, but had no doubt that I would get a well-paying job after I completed my degree in order to pay off the loans. And I did. I share this with you because, if the financial crisis has taught us anything, it's that debt is a serious thing. We should not take on debt unless we have a clear plan on how and when we will pay this debt off. There are many ways to pursue a passion, and not all of them are costly. I imagine that I must sound like somebody's mother, but IMHO, I don't think that you should attend either program. You seem less than excited about the first program -- why waste your time? And the second program seems financially risky.

Maybe he read the thread!

dinner reservation

This was actually recommended to me as well, and even though I am in business (not humanities), I found it to be a good read.

Yet another opportunity to quote my wise grandmother (RIP). She said, "The way it starts out is the way it ends up." Seems like you know this in your gut already, but if this is the way the prof is treating you now, it is likely that he will continue to treat you this way throughout your relationship. IMHO, "sucking it up" is a good strategy for people without choices. You have a choice. Don't ignore the data...

Indeed. Nice one...

I got a similar e-mail yesterday, and wrote back how excited I am about the program and how I'm looking forward to receiving the formal acceptance in the mail. Wait to see what they put in writing -- there's no rush.

While no expert on the subject, I understand that if you can make it at a big state school in the sciences, you can make it anywhere. From what I have heard, the science departments in the big state schools are the best training grounds for success after you are degreed. For what it's worth, from someone not in the field...

Hey pea-jay, I sent CUNY an e-mail on Wednesday, and the head of the adcomm got back to me yesterday with a decision, indicating that an official letter would follow. I think CUNY is just bureaucratically slow. I would definitely send an e-mail of inquiry, although I'm not sure I would mention NYU, at least at the outset.

My wise grandmother (RIP) once said, "The way it starts out is the way it ends up." I am 43 years old, and she's never been wrong. If this is how your man is making decisions now, this is how he will likely always make decisions. Don't ignore the data...

Actually, there has been a ton of research done on choice, decision-making, anxiety and regret, and what you are experiencing has been well-documented. For those of you not in the field, pick up The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz (a prof at Swarthmore, I think). It's a trade book (New York Times best seller), supported by a lot of research, that talks about how to be happy when faced with what feels like too much choice. Good luck!

Thanks -- got my acceptance today -- YEA!!!

I am relieved to have NYU out of the way -- it wasn't a great fit for me, to begin with -- but I am so ready to be done with the waiting! I am hoping to hear from CUNY soon, with some good news!

How great to be in a sought-after position! As such, don't be afraid to contact the other programs and let them know. Not in an egotistical way, but to ask for additional information. I find it unlikely that an inquiry will persuade the adcomm to change its decision about you. Remember, these are people who apply for grants and fellowships themselves, and therefore understand deadline pressures from both sides. Good luck!

watch tower