DeWinter

I actually had a dream recently where I received a rejection letter in the mail, where the committee had written in HUGE capital letters (I kid you not):

OH MY GOD! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF APPLYING TO OUR SCHOOL?? A DISGRACE!


Talk about paranoia!

Not getting a response for months is a big red flag that should not be ignored. I realize it's difficult to get very close to many professors, but I would personally question whether I would even want someone to write me a letter who cared that little about my future.

Sounds to me like you could find someone better to write a letter for you. If the tendency to drop courses is evident from your transcript, someone who really supported your application would describe the backstory, so that it doesn't sound like you are making pathetic excuses by trying to explain what happened yourself. Is there anyone else you can ask to write a letter for you?

Mr. Haviland--
Welcome to the gradcafe.

Please note that over the past fifteen plus years, members of the academic community including professors, administrators, and staff, have become increasingly concerned with the dynamic in which the parents of students interject themselves in the educational processes of their children. The term "helicopter parent," a pejorative, is frequently used as a phrase to capture this dynamic and its disruptive influence within the Ivory Tower.

Please note that many academic departments and their parent institutions have instituted policies to manage this dynamic from the perspective of risk management. In many cases, these policies end up working to the detriment of students. That is, academics are increasingly focused on limiting their exposure to risk (i.e., playing CYA) and they are increasingly disinterested in mentoring undergraduates and graduates alike. (In my own experience as a teaching assistant, it was increasingly difficult to support students who are constantly checking with their parents to see if was is okay to work harder and to develop their critical thinking skills.)

Your decision to assist your son doubtlessly reflects your best intentions as a parent. Nevertheless, please understand that your intervention on his behalf may have unfortunate--but avoidable--consequences. Professors, administrators, and staff compare notes on their perceptions of students. While it takes time to earn a favorable reputation, unfavorable reputations come much more easily.

Therefore, I respectfully request that you consider the utility of recusing yourself permanently from all third party activities on behalf of your son. If he wants copies of his LoRs, let him do the leg work. Graduate school is a very difficult journey. He will doubtlessly benefit from your emotional, psychological, and intellectual support in the coming years. However, the path he's about to take is his and his alone to walk. Please allow him the opportunity to build the knowledge, the skills, and the relationships he will need on this journey by himself.

If you decide to continue on your current path, that is your choice. Please do understand that he will have to bear the consequences (favorable, unfavorable, and unforeseen) of your choices.

When you apply to graduate programs, you typically waive your right to see the letters of recommendation. You do have the choice, but confidential letters are stronger because they are considered more frank and honest.

There have been a few mentions throughout the thread about "gut." Totally off topic (but then again, a lot of this is) but every time I see a post about "gut," I can't help but thinking of that quote from High Fidelity: "I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."

This is a magic art form, requiring foresight, cunning, and leverage; I have no idea how to tactfully do this (I didn't get in contact any POIs, since most of the high profile faculty I wanted to work with were too busy), and am curious what has worked for others.

Get a really nice polartec jacket... and wear a star trek tie

I've dealt with departmental politics at the high school level (I taught for a few years before starting grad school). The best bit of advice I can offer isn't to stay neutral, but rather to stay professional. If one professor is bad mouthing another and looks to you for a reaction, all you have to say is something like "I've heard Dr. Your Nemesis is a good prof, but I haven't really had any interactions with him/her." It's bland and it doesn't actually say anything, but it keeps you from becoming snagged as a participant in the drama. Plus, the more often you return a bland response like that, the less often Professor Chatty Britches will look to gossip with you about personal issues in the department (since you won't be feeding his/her need to vent emotionally). I can't stand departmental politics. If there's a war between two faculty members, there is zero reason for that war to spill into the student population.

Chin up, guys - it's not over until the fat lady sings (or your POI accidentally gets salt in their chance paper cut). I was actually talking to a professor of mine, and he mentioned (and he's a blunt guy, not malicious at all, just very open) that most people who got into schools are probably likely to get into multiple schools, SO, when they turn down their offers, schools will do a second and possibly third round of acceptances. SO. Pour yourself another glass, fix yourself a sandwich or defrost some pizza, and recharge your laptops. We're going on round 2.

I don't think it's technically wrong, but typically done the other way for aesthetic purposes.
But these days, I don't trust a word I say, and you shouldn't either.

I think the way you did it actually reflects European punctuation style though. Am I right on this? Don't they put the punctuation outside the quotes sometimes?

An anecdote to calm your Kermit flailing before you injure yourself :

One of the schools I was accepted to asks (demands? forces?) all of the faculty in a given field to get in touch with their prospectives via phone or e-mail after acceptances have gone out. This practice is, I assume, designed to pump up the prospective students' egos, entice them to attend the recruitment visit, make themselves available for questions, and otherwise assist with the recruitment process (it's all horribly flattering...until you get the fourth profusely complimentary e-mail and realize that this is clearly a departmental directive, and not a sign of your inherent brilliance).
Anywho, the third such letter I received from this program (and from a Prof who I am utterly enamoured with, intellectually) bore the subject line "[Name of Institution], Congrtaulatons!"
Shock! Horror! Brilliant Professors make typos, too!
I, for one, was thrilled to discover this. In my e-mailed reply, I did the kind-hearted thing and corrected his mistake in the subject line of my reply...but I will always have the original message as proof that no one is infallible, even in academia. I imagine this may come in handy at various points during the next 6 years...

Like many of us here, after 4+ years of post-secondary education, I'm a decent editor. I've worked at my school's writing centre, I proof read and edit privately, etc. But sweet Jesus on a bicycle, why am I incapable of finding errors in my own writing?

I revisited my SOP recently and it wasn't a tragic experience, but today I emailed the head of the department for a program I haven't yet heard from, and when I reread my response I found a random "and" in the middle of a sentence! Just sitting there, minding its own business, not contributing to the grammaticality or sense of my sentence whatsoever. I know people make typos all the time and we're only human but seriously? I wrote over 50 emails today (oh, work) and I had to make a typo in that one?

Can we just commiserate for a second about silly typos? I'm so embarrassed even though she probably didn't either notice or care. BUT WHAT IF SHE DID?

*kermit flail*

Then we can talk about how this process has me freaking out over a typo, and how that's probably unnecessary and unhealthy. Sigh.

I told UNC-Chapel Hill that I wanted to attend the University of North Caroling.

...my brother has been asking me if I've heard from the elf school for a month.

(pats on back) There, there...

It sounds like their application system is too convoluted. Why would two programs have an online submission and other one requires a mail in? That's kind of dumb on their part. Obviously you're not going to say that, but I'm just saying they must be aware of the potential confusions and understanding when they do happen.

I'm 99.9% certain they will accept it. Unless they specify on their website that the application date is NOT the "postmark" date for mailing in things you should be fine. The only time universities will give you a hard time is if they say something like this on their website "MFA applications are due February 15, 2012 (not a postmark date; materials must be received in our offices before or on February 15)." Does the website for this school say that? If so then I might worry, but even then they'll probably be slightly lenient.

Ah, okay I see. Then if I were you, I would email in my creative writing sample so they at least have that on Feb 15th and then fedex same day or next day so they get it asap.

I think it's fine, just mail in the creative writing sample and contact the grad admissions office.

Sorry to hear that. You'll probably still have to mail in the sample so prepare to mail them tomorrow. Browsing this forum and from my own experiences I've found departments to be pretty understanding, so just give them a call tomorrow explaining your circumstances and see if they'll accept the uploaded version or if you can e-mail it. Best of luck though!

They think you're a stellar candidate but they want to meet you in person before they give the final stamp of approval.

My two cents.

I actually had a dream recently where I received a rejection letter in the mail, where the committee had written in HUGE capital letters (I kid you not):

OH MY GOD! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF APPLYING TO OUR SCHOOL?? A DISGRACE!


Talk about paranoia!

I actually had a dream recently where I received a rejection letter in the mail, where the committee had written in HUGE capital letters (I kid you not):

OH MY GOD! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF APPLYING TO OUR SCHOOL?? A DISGRACE!


Talk about paranoia!

I actually had a dream recently where I received a rejection letter in the mail, where the committee had written in HUGE capital letters (I kid you not):

OH MY GOD! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF APPLYING TO OUR SCHOOL?? A DISGRACE!


Talk about paranoia!