sjoh197

We don't have any self checkouts at the stores around here... but my grocery store is always so well manned that I never wait in line more than 5 minutes anyways... so I don't mind. Lol.

My boyfriend almost died when he got his awesome job offer, because I was on a wilderness hike in the grand canyon and had no cell service... so he couldn't tell me. Lol. Keeping it pent up is hard

Being stressed from our impending move... my cats have started watching "cat tv" to entertain them.

Ahhh.... The joys of living with a man with 3 toolboxes.

Someone who has overseen your research is a much better option than someone whose class you've taken.

What part of TX? Are you used to living somewhere hot and humid (or dry depending on where you are)? The heat often causes people to have some form of heat rash and itch initially... and there is an overwhelming amount of pollen in the more humid regions... causing really bad allergies if you aren't used to them. Also... there are a lot of bugs. Period. Always. All year long. You have to wear repellent and invest in mosquito repelling plants and candles. I prefer to wear the nylon hiking/fishing button up long sleeve shirts when I go out at night. They keep you from getting bit, and aren't super hot, since they're nylon. Also... I get pretty bad allergies when I'm outside, but inside keep changing you air filter, and maybe invest in an air purifier as well.

I think the kitty is stressed about all the moving boxes, and crap all around the house, since we're moving in 5 days. She's been sleeping a lot and acting funny. I've actually had my anxiety really under control the last few months, but a potentially dead cat on my arm is certainly panic inducing lol. I get panic attacks a lot. I used to get them more right after my daughter passed away, but they have subsided over the years. I'm a pro at dealing with them mentally, and mostly they are just physically uncomfortable. Although I do still get one every time I go to the dentist. When the epinephrine in the novicaine shots hits the blood stream, it causes an adrenaline rush that mimics a panic attacks, which then triggers one. Bunch of shit really lol.

Speaking of cats.... I woke up at 2:30 in the morning, having to pee. I woke up with a face full of fur and a cat draped completely limp over my arms, with her head hanging off the side of my arm. I moved a little, and she didn't move. Then I moved a lot.... and she still didn't move... just remained completely limp. Then I pet her head somewhat aggressively (she likes that for some reason) and she still just laid there. I realized that I couldn't see or feel her breathing. Then I thought... Oh my god, she died. As I almost violently shook her whole body back and forth...she woke up, super pissed that I interrupted her apparently very deep sleep. And that is the story of why I am now suffering the after effects of a panic attack I had over 5 hours ago.

Lol.... i have the boon glo light. I am actually selling it on craigslist right now, as I don't really use it as much as I used to. It's a pretty cool little light thing, and the rotating colors are cool. My cats try to swat the balls off though.

If you go to a hardware store, or even walmarts and targets, most modern night lights are led, low energy consumption. And they make lots of them that point down at the ground, so the light kinda reflects off the floor to make it even more dim. We have a couple of them in our apartment and I couldn't live without them.

Oh my god... This made me want to change my answer.When people ask what I'm researching... And I say "alpha particle thermochronology" the most awesome question I get about 95% of the time is "Oh, so you're like, really smart... huh?"

If it means anything... I was in a similarly shitty place last year, and things looked pretty awful... But they got better. I really hope that things get better for you. If you work really hard, things will turn out for the better, and hopefully sooner rather than later.

sooo... This all really sucks. But is there some kind of plan? You can't just not do research and not move forward in your degree. That is unacceptable for any department that has accepted you.Feeling tricked is awful, but them not having a game plan for you is much worse in my opinion.

So I've had 2 meetings with my advisor in the last few weeks... and I am now 100% sure that he thinks I'm an idiot and regrets his decision lol. My mind just completely blanked on everything I've ever learned when I went to talk with him. Also... the papers that he gave me are so incredibly over my head that I feel like I have no grasp on what I'm reading. I feel like my undergrad degree wasn't nearly as rigorous as the other people around me. I'm beginning to think that this was a bad idea.

Only you can make you happy. If other people are not there to support your career choices... then find a new support structure. Spend less time with the people who cause you pressure and anxiety, and instead spend time with people who make you feel supported and at ease. Be firm in your decisions and don't let people push you around either. And if your anxiety is really bad, you could always talk to your doctor. But as I found out with this type of anxiety... there's no point going to the doctor for you anxiety if you are just going to put a band-aid over a bullet wound and then continue to stand in the middle of the firing range. Your family should be proud that you are going to be a chemical engineer. It is a very respectable career choice, and if it's what you want to do... then that's what's important.

I get people who hold up random rocks and then ask me what happened to them. Sigh

If you are interested in possibly getting into oil, despite the downturn... Having the fossil fuel geology class will at least boost your knowledge. And if its the class you are most interested in anyways... I would go with that one.

Yeah i know. I think visiting family is the only thing that sparked the proposal talk. I took it as more of an indication of him trying to invest more in our relationship and got excited, but now I'm really just not sure. I'm glad he didnt at this point anyways, because I think this first semester of grad school will be very telling of the time we spend together when I no longer have the time or energy to plan everything. I know I just need to accept this as who he is now and just lower my expectations on the initiative and spending quality time. But it still kinda hurts my feelings. Oh well, its a new day, and I'm over it I guess. Got lots of other things to worry about like packing boxes and reading research papers.

We had a long discussion about this both 2 weeks ago and a few days ago in which some form of initiative was promised. That's why I was "wishing really hard". I am very direct with things that I want to do, and often give suggestions... But its really not about the activity, its about not being ignored for video games and tv. We could have gone to a fucking Chinese noodle house and sat and colored and I would have been happy just to spend the time with him. I told him last night that I felt like if I disappeared right now, the only thing he would notice is that he's not getting fed. To which he replied that he knows how to feed himself. It didn't used to be this way. But since we moved a year ago it has been getting worse and worse. This isn't really how I want to start grad school lol.

I can't really help you, but thought I would ask if you have taken a free mooc course on python? Both coursera and edx typically have completely free courses on it.

Unfortunately we got into a fight instead, (something including the words bitchy and attitude) and I left the apartment to sit at starbucks alone and buy flowers for myself at the grocery store. I told him I hoped he and his tv had a nice anniversary together. When I came home an hour ago he was grasping at straws for somewhere to take me to "fix it". He even asked if I wanted to go to the circus tonight since its in town. I said no. Best anniversary ever.

Well, he did take me to the gem and mineral show this morning. And he bought me a very pretty fluorite. After we came home he said we could "do whatever I wanted to do"... But the gem show was my idea. I was hoping he would have at least suggested something. Idk. Anytime I want to do something together, I have to come up with it, and I have to plan it, and I have to make it happen. I'm tired.

Well, here I am on gradcafe, laying in bed... On my anniversary, since somebody else has decided to play videogames and watch tv all afternoon. Yay me.

My response was "No, we don't actually talk about our life plans and goals together." (insert sarcastic eyeroll) Lol