wintergirl

(Yep, I'm procrastinating.) Something in another thread made me curious: What are everyone's first choices or ultimate dream schools on your list of programs? UCLA for me. Sadly, I fear I'm unlikely to get in. Go, Bruins!

Apparently, GradCafe isn't immune to server problems, despite its existence in my brain as the Impermeable Fortress of Borderline OCD Grad School Applicants. So what do you do to answer your obsessing-over-apps-and-related-things-to-freak-out-about needs? Surely I'm not the only one who hit refresh about a billion times last night!

After obsessing over this last night (and spending way too long reading back through last year's threads to try to "prepare" myself), I've now created a new tab in my giant Excel worksheet and made honest/pessimistic assessments of what I think my chances are at each school. Having done that, and mentally locked away the applications that I feel like I screwed the pooch on, I can move on thinking only about those few schools from which I might just have a small chance of getting good news. I also finally went back and downloaded the PDFs for all of my completed apps, only to discover that on my app for my top choice (due on Dec. 1st along with three other applications--ergo, finished at the last minute), I listed my undergrad GPA wrong. As in HIGHER than it actually was. It's listed correctly on my CV that I submitted, but am now petrified that my application will get thrown out for academic dishonesty or something. Calling them first thing tomorrow PST to try to get that fixed. FML.

Thanks, lolo. Still sorry that happened to you last year.

I figured out only today that when you go to the "main" page for that application system (Apply Web, I think? I have four apps in that system), instead of clicking on the app links--the links to see your app or print the PDF--click on the name of the school itself and the list of materials should show up underneath. Does that make sense? Turns out all my Stanford materials are there, but not my other schools. And I still can't find a way to check UCLA or USC at all, so I've emailed those and the other schools that seem to have missing things. Ugh.

Yow!!! That's just cruel. Sorry that happened to you. ETA: Do you mind if I ask what program that was? Yep, am emailing them today. Gathered up all the contact info for schools that DON'T track stuff for you online. Thanks for the advice!

I just went back and created a new tab on my massive Excel spreadsheet to make sure everything's been received. I haven't heard anything from my schools about missing materials: should I assume that means everything's been received? Or are we supposed to call each program to make sure they have everything? Extra karma points for those schools that actually list online what they've received--whether or not that's 100% accurate ... grrr.

Ayup. Today was supposed to be my first day back on my game for the final semester of my MA program. No biggie, just prep for thesis and teaching and coursework and conference papers to take care of. Instead? I've been sharking around this site, checking the results board, surfing the internet uselessly in my pjs all day. I just want to mentally divorce myself from the process and forget I even applied until the results come in. I dread how antsy and cranky I might be when classes start on Monday.

This is an old gripe, re-airing now and probably not for the last time for the next two months: I know it's my own fault for looking but I'm violently jealous of every single person on the results board who's already getting acceptances, interviews, or even rejections. They're mostly for the sciences, but still... I'm sure I'll be changing my tune once those killer rejections start rolling in!

This. But then the ones that never completed their list of acceptances/attending left me feeling distressed: I'm invested in your story now, okay? I need to know what happened!!! Here's my imagined adcomm conversation (all are cranky because they didn't get the good coffee and/or lunch that day): "Okay, up next.... some old fogey who's bounced around a lot and thinks she can parlay that into a PhD." "Well, she did get a fully funded ride to her MA program." "Yeah, but, they'll take ANYONE. This girl just got lucky that year." "Hmmm, what's this on her UG transcript? Looks like an F!" "What! OMG! How dare she apply here!" "You guys, you guys. I think that was from the 1990s. Look at her current graduate school grades--they're much better." "Harrumph. I think an F at Very Prestigious Ivy League School trumps some overinflated MA GPA from Is-That-Even-A-State School." "True. And did you see her subject test score? BWAHAHAHA." "And don't even get me started about her SOP. Who even thinks this stuff is interesting or relevant? We just care about Current Hip Lit Theory De Jour here." "Heidegger, Heidegger, Heidegger, Lacan." "Don't forget Derrida! This girl's obviously never even heard of him." "No wonder that employer fired her a few years ago. Thank god they called to warn us about her." "Sheesh. What a waste of paper." *toss* "Next?"

Finished mine a week ago today. Wish I could say I've been able to put them out of my mind since then but, sadly, no. They lurk. And linger. Can't wait for this all to be over--hopefully with a positive outcome!

First of all, bravo to you for going back to school and getting your BA, MA, and aiming high. You sound like someone who is going to succeed in whatever you set your mind to. Second of all, I'm younger than you (though still "old" relative to most of the posters in this thread) and share your experience about the energy that going back to school can bring--I'm now in a MA program, applying to PhDs--AND your hope that ageism doesn't factor in to admissions decisions. Finally, can you tell me how you found out your GRE scores as relative to testers' ages? That's something I'd never thought about before. PM'ing you. : )

Thought I'd start a thread so we can consolidate some information I've seen scattered around re: ways to check the status on our applications. For my schools, I think that only Michigan and CU-Boulder have separate websites where I can log in and see what application materials have been "logged in" as received (and then proceed to freak out, etc). For the others, some of them have a little bit of information about LORs, maybe GREs as received, but I wish they all had a dedicated place where we could check without having to harass the department or grad school. So, who else has schools that have this status-checking ability? I'm asking this in the hopes that someone will point out that another of my schools does too. : )

Good point. Thanks, Timshel. I emailed mine in to the dept because I worked for a long time before going back to school and the online application didn't leave enough room for me to show how my experience ties into my scholarly interests. I explained that in my email: if they take it, they take it. If not, meh.

I pandered. And I'm totally cool with that.

Something in another thread reminded me that I sent my CV to the dept email address (after submitting my application), asking that it be included in my application, but I never heard back. Now I worry that calling/emailing about it again will result in them tossing me in that big black bottomless AW HELL NO reject bin.... Did anyone else send in their CV separately and hear something back? Or how else did y'all handle the CV submission problem?

Yes!!! She had me at Handmaid's Tale, but Alias Grace (and Blind Assassin and Cat's Eye and everything else) sealed the deal for life. I haven't yet read Penelopiad or that poem, so thanks for the tip! : )

I know this wasn't the point of your comment, bdon, but my pessimistic self is running with it as a way to combat the wild swings between "0% acceptance" and "I'M A GENIUS WHO WILL BE ADMITTED TO ALL THE THINGS!" I think I'll mentally make an honest assessment of my schools like that--which ones I am nearly certain I won't get into--and let those go out into the ether. The others I'll continue to waver between cautiously optimistic and "realistic". Then maybe I can get through the next few months able to focus on the things that are still in my control that need doing (thesis, coursework, etc etc etc). So thanks for the help! Ha. : )

@ h.s. - I'm so glad you asked this question. I've been wondering the same thing. @ surefire - Thanks for your expert insight! That's super helpful to at least have an inkling of how it might work.

I also love a good dystopia so will have to check that out ... someday. But I love postapocalyptic lit even more, so I ordered Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood (who happens to be my favorite living author) and can't wait to read it ... someday. Over break and my on long plane ride back to school yesterday, I've been working on The Outlander by Gil Adamson. An engrossing read for anyone who, like me, can't resist Western frontier stories--especially ones about women kicking ass and taking names. : )

Oh dear. I just did that too. MASOCHISTS, ALL!

I'm way in this thread again today. I'm also in both camps of "people being very supportive/unrealistic" and "people being unsupportive dicks/too realistic for me." I've put everything on the line for this, and if I don't get in I can't even begin to think about what I'm going to do. Is it too late to bring back the magic eight ball??? I mean, it has as much chance of being correct as our own worst fears/highest hopes, right? Q: Will I be very sad in March? A: Ask again later. HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, Magic Eight Ball. I love how you just get me.

I mentioned 4-5 different faculty members at each school but phrased it as "these are an example of some of the people at X school whose scholarly interests appear to intersect with mine". I hope that by not saying something that sounds like I ONLY want to come to X program because of XYZ scholar I'll avoid pissing off adcomms like some of you are cautioning. Sigh. This process is so freaking confusing and riddled with so many contradictions that it seems our hopes of being successful are doomed from the outset. There's a cheery thought for New Year's Day.

Finally done!!!!! Can't believe it --12 schools, all submitted. Now to sit back and stress the fuck out work on my thesis.