SarahBethSortino
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Posts posted by SarahBethSortino
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21 hours ago, Sigaba said:
IMO, one should make at least one close friend as a graduate student in history. Eventually, you're going to need someone to call you on your b.s. when you rant and rave for getting a disappointing grade on an essay that you were sure, absolutely sure, would make Richard Hofstadter jump out of his grave and say "THAT'S WHAT I MEANT TO SAY!"
That friend doesn't have to be in your cohort -- it could be a faculty member. But that's different. Or should be.
IME, being in the mix socially with fellow graduate students can be a mixed bag. If the group is good overall, there's the opportunity for synergy. But there's also the opportunity for a bull session turning into a grouse session during which a common concern becomes an overblown issue ("Professor Xavier, he's so mean") that could be solved by a five minute conversation with said professor behind closed doors.
Or, you could make a very close friend who ends up being bat shit crazy and you don't realize how looney the person is until you're in the passenger seat during a high speed chase as your pal talks about the felonies he's going to commit on the driver he's pursuing. Fun times. Or so I've heard.
@SarahBethSortino, I urge you to relax and to be patient. It's going to be what it's going to be. Just understand that if you opt out of too many opportunities, the invitations will stop coming and you'll be fair game for the gossiping that goes on when first- and second-year students get together and yak about the latest show and whatever because they don't quite understand that every waking moment should be focused on preparing for qualifying exams. (That's your out. "I'd love to talk, but I'm scared shitless about quals. Did you know that we're technically responsible for the entirety of our fields?")
Hey there!
I just started classes this week and I can definitely say I've reframed my whole way of thinking. The whole being older thing seems to matter not one bit and I'm taking my boyfriend and daughter to a departmental BBQ this weekend. My cohort is very nice and supportive and we are all commuter students, so it seems that social outings will be well planned but worthwhile. Everyone knows I'm a parent and even though I'm the only one among the group it seems like it's no big deal. I'm very happy with the group I have. Given that we're all commuters I'm actually considering holding some sort of social event at my apartment now to get us all together. Long story short I worried quite a bit more than I should have :-)
- RageoftheMonkey, TakeruK, Kismine and 5 others
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8 hours ago, telkanuru said:
You're making it out to be worse than it is. Don't get inside your own head. First, the students who are 10 years younger than you aren't fresh out of college, I imagine. I've personally found the age disconnect drops off rapidly at around 25 or so. Second, there's no rule that says you have to have anything other than a professional relationship with your cohort. It's a big world! Do you run or exercise? Make friends there! If you don't have a hobby, now's a great time to join a club and learn one. Maybe there are other older graduate students in other departments - go to events and colloquia and find out.
All that said, you are going to have to sacrifice a bit. Yes, you have a house and a kid, but if there's a regularly scheduled bar hour after seminar, for example, make that someone else's problem every once in a while.
Luckily, I am from Massachusetts and most of my dearest friends live here. As well as many of my family members. So there's definitely life outside of school for me...it just happens to be in the town where I live now (about 45 minutes off campus), rather than where the school is located.
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I know this is a super old thread but as I approach orientation I'm getting more and more concerned about this. We got our little "getting to know you" email from the department... which included the dates of our undergrad degree. I am the oldest by about 10 years. Two people in my cohort graduated last year. Having spoken to other older grad students from my group of friends, I found that they were either completely left out of the loop because people didn't know how to relate to someone who, to a kid just out of college, is just plain old... or they were involuntarily placed into the position of being the "mother hen" of the group... I don't have the time, energy or desire for that. I went into campus the other day to take care of some administrative things and was consistently mistaken for a staff member. Getting a faculty discount at the bookstore was great and all, but I'm getting increasingly concerned that regardless my personality, willingness, or outgoing attitude... I'm going to be the odd man out either way. Maybe it shouldn't worry me as much as it does, but its going ton be tough to hang around for wine and cheese or an after class drink when I have a house to take care of and a kid to pick up.
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On 5/19/2017 at 0:43 PM, Eigen said:
The vast majority of fellowships are taxable as normal income. The standout difference is that anything used for (a) tuition and fees, or (b) required books doesn't count as income.
Filing it is difficult- you won't always get a W2 with your income reported, frequently you have to report fellowship income as if you were self employed. Many fellowships aren't from the university as your employer, but are passed through from another fund. This means you often have to either file quarterly taxes or pay the year end penalty (I opted for the latter).
The IRS document on Taxes for Scholarships and Fellowships is surprisingly helpful, but many other resources tend to be more confusing than they are helpful.
A lot of tax software does a really bad job of it, as well- I did mine by hand to avoid the headache. Some will try to tell you that your tuition waiver is taxable income (it's not, unless you're employed by the university in some other capacity full time and the tuition waiver is an employment benefit).
THanks for the advice. I think at this point I'm going to have to go to an accountant. I've heard from a lot of other people that tax software doesn't quite know how to deal with us. What a headache!
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Anyone know about the tax situation for fellowships? I'm pretty sure that they are taxable but I've received a lot of conflicting information. How have current students handled filing taxes for grad fellowships?
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8 hours ago, TakeruK said:
I think it's important to also consider the context/reason why these grad school websites suggest making an effort to make friends with your cohort. In my opinion, the reason is that you do not want to be isolated in your program. Grad school can be a tough time and having a strong social support network is important.
So, building good friendships in grad school is one (maybe the most common) way of getting this support. However, for you, @SarahBethSortino, since it sounds like you are already going to be in a good place in your new city, with friendships already established, then this might not be as relevant to you. If you find your own support elsewhere, that's great.
I would say that friendships in grad school can serve other roles too though. Briefly, here are some reasons to try to make friends with your cohort and/or other students in your program (in different years):
1. They can provide support specific to your department/school and look out for you. For example, when I was starting out, if I have a weird interaction with a prof, I can go to my older friends to see what it might mean. Or, now that I am almost done, I help my younger friends navigate things like picking a committee, preparing for quals, etc. My friends and I, of all years, also can share school-specific resources or help each other out because if one of us needs to know about X, another one might know someone who knows a lot about X.
2. If there's something difficult going on in your life at some point, your grad school friends can help you out. Maybe they can take notes for you in class. They can make sure you're not falling too far behind. They might be able to submit homework/paperwork on your behalf or do random things that you might not be able to be physically present for. And of course, they can still do all of the other stuff that friends do for each other, this is mostly a list of reasons why friends in your department can be helpful that non grad school friends might not be able to do.
3. Friends in grad school (whether it's your department or another school) can relate to your grad school experiences more directly and sometimes it's easier to talk to other students about difficult situations involving grad school. Friends outside of grad school are also great though, as they help put things in perspective.
4. Finally, if you want to continue in academia, your cohort and other grad students will eventually be your future colleagues. At least in my field, they will be the ones reviewing your papers, your grants, deciding who gets invited to conferences etc. They will also be your future collaborators, potentially. A lot of people think about networking only in the context of going to conferences and meeting people, but you can build some of the strongest networks within your own department because you have way more time/chances to create a strong relationship. And your colleagues are also going to go on and do great things and meet more people and they can be the link to someone you need later on in your academic life. This is more related to the second reason why I think these websites suggest you make friends to succeed in grad school (and beyond).
That said, I also don't really think it's necessary to go bar hopping and to do all of the partying stuff in order to make friends in grad school. Sure, depending on your department's culture, it might be a really good way to do it, but it's not the only way to do it. Friendships take time to build and I actually spend most of the time building friendships during the work day and on campus. You don't have to be uncomfortable in a bar if you don't like it, and you'll find people that share your feeling too, in grad school. It's not like everyone thinks that going to bars is the only way to socialize. Some of my best friends in grad school don't drink at all, or very rarely.
I do think that spending time with your friends outside of work, i.e. when you both choose to invest your personal time into the relationship, is an important part of creating stronger connections though. For me, I do go to an occasional party, play on intramural teams with my friends, participate or plan in fun outings once in awhile on the weekends (e.g. Disneyland one year). There's lots to do that doesn't revolve around drinking, bars, partying etc. I personally take the strategy of saying yes to everything at first, meeting everyone, and then being a little more selective and choosing to spend more of my personal time with people I click with better.
And also as @AP pointed out, you don't necessarily have to make friends with only your cohort. You might click/have more chemistry with some of the older students, or the more mature younger students!
Great point about classmates being future colleagues. I'm certainly not going to specifically distance myself, but as I've said before, Massachusetts is my home state and I not only have family and friends there, but a boyfriend. Pretty solid support system.
The grad school experience can be wildly different depending on the place you are in life. I have a friend who went almost immediately after undergrad. She spent the first two years getting overly involved with the social scene - to the detriment of her work. Not just the scene, but the drama, the romantic relationship, all of it. I can't even imagine. It sounded exhausting on top of the ACTUAL work
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20 hours ago, TMP said:
Eh, run with the chemistry. If you don't like the culture, distance yourself and focus on your own work. If you like it, great, and go with it! I had hoped to make friends in the program but multiple factors kept me from being able to form tight friendships/relationships with people in my program. As a result, I've been selective and have several really solid people who I can turn to in crisis and for tips on various things associated with the program.
Also, I recall your previous posts. I'm going to be blunt, hanging out with 20-somethings as a 30-something its.... not easy. They don't have the same level of maturity or life experiences that you have. You'll definitel share the same emotions of adjusting to the PhD program and the university but beyond that? Don't expect much outside of seminars.
Yeah, I'm not going to lie: there is the definite thought in my mind that I *may* be on the older side of the spectrum. That doesn't necessarily mean they are not great people - I know a lot of people from work that are very mature and in their early 20s. But it could go the other way of course.
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23 hours ago, Concordia said:
I'm an introvert who likes food and doesn't mind a bit of good conversation and good wine. So while I would imagine I'll be going out and talking with classmates, it's not going to be done in loud places with tons of people I don't know-- at least, not once I get my feet on the ground. Whether that is the right solution, I have no idea.
One thing to keep in mind is that your colleagues will be older than the average undergrad, and many of them have been the really nerdly types when they did go to college. So I wouldn't worry that you're going to be bullied into converting Brandeis to the Greek system and partying until sunrise on Monday morning.
Haha. From what I understand the Greek system there is in the nerdy, introvert side anyway so I'm not worried about having to deal with being anywhere near that. Thank god I am living far away from campus though (well, 45 minutes away.) I enjoy my peace and quiet too much. My boyfriend lives in a very undergrad neighborhood near Rutgers right now and I cannot wait to get away from that.
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This may seem like a strange comment, but I've been reading a lot of generic "tips on how to succeed in a PhD program" articles on the internet lately and the theme that keeps coming up is the importance of making friends within your cohort, participating in the social life, going out with people to bars, etc. For me, I'm honestly not going into this with the expectation of wanting to make friends, go to bars, participate in the social life. Not to say I won't be friendly, but I am older, have a lot of friends in the state I am moving to, and don't particularly see myself as having the time to spend bar hopping. I know that from my Masters, interacting with my fellow students brought a lot of opportunities to bounce ideas off of peers, but if need be that can be done on campus. I don't see it as the major priority some of these articles are saying it is. So my question: do people in this board thing the "social aspect" of a PhD is particularly important, or a waste of the little time we have to get stuff done?
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22 hours ago, OHSP said:
A) I'm super glad that you've come out of this with a place, and are able to ask these questions,
I am spending way too much time wondering if I made the right decisions, C) I only just finished my MA thesis and sometime soon I'm sure I'll chill out but for now I am using the weird energy to create long, unrealistic fantasy reading lists. I love a good annotated bibliography 
It feels amazing to come out of this planning for next year! I've been deliriously happy for the past two weeks!
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On 4/12/2017 at 2:50 PM, nevermind said:
I think @SarahBethSortino studied at Edinburgh for her Master's. You may want to contact her as she likely has valuable insight into this (or if not, who to contact to ask these questions).
Sure did! Happy to answer any questions for anyone considering Edinburgh
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1 hour ago, Karou said:
So lovely to see so much joy here today!!
Haven't been posting much either but I've been following this thread and I'm just so very happy for all of you who are going to all of these amazing places!
Meanwhile, I have been fortunate enough to be admitted to the MPhil in British and European History at Oxford (I was completely floored tbh), and am awaiting funding decisions anxiously. In the event that I don't get any funding, I doubt that I will be able to attend, and will most likely head to the University of Edinburgh instead. Although I'll have to give it some serious thought before I make a final decision! Either way, I'll be very happy to attend either one of those institutions.
PM me if you have any questions about Edinburgh. Did my masters there about 10 years ago. Always happy to tell people about it
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47 minutes ago, AP said:
YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! I knew it!!!!!!!! CONGRATSSSSS The waiting torture is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now you have the exciting task of planning the move!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So happy for you!
I'm so excited!!!! All I wanted was to start going on this instead of treading water. I can actually start doing what I need to do now. I'm beyond happy right now!!!
- KLZ and MikeTheFronterizo
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3 minutes ago, nhhistorynut said:
Great news! Glad you finally got some good news. So where ya headed?
Goin to Brandeis. It's a dream program, dream offer. With 5 rejections it was still the best case scenario. I loved it from the moment I started researching schools and I can't believe THIS is the school that accepted me.
- nhhistorynut, Karou, L13 and 5 others
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FINALLY! Just got an email from the director of Graduate Studies at Brandeis. Off the wait list and I have a real actual official offer in hand.
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3 hours ago, etoile89 said:
Don't give up! I'm sending positive thoughts.
Thanks. It's been rough. And we had to put my dog down today today. Talk about piling on. I'm looking forward to this period of my life being over one way or another.
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12 hours ago, NoirFemme said:
I think you have a shot. I got nudged by a program to make a decision, and the waitlist was referenced as a reason to not wait until the end of the decision period. It was the push I needed to stop hemming and hawing over where I'm going. I can imagine getting a similar email will make the stragglers say yes or no as well.
Good luck!
Thanks. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, but the meeting definitely calmed me down a little bit. If I go the next 10 days believing it's all in the bag, the disappointment will be twice as bad, but at least for now I know I've done everything I could possibly do.
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7 hours ago, Kaede said:
Yeahhhhhhhhhhh no. I've been in school for 17 year straight. Taking a few months off before committing to a job for the rest of your life with few breaks is not a waste of time. In fact, having studied student affairs quite a bit, students who take time off are less likely to be burnt out several years into their program than those who did not. You'll probably be fine without it, but equally as valid is taking a break and enjoying life.
To each their own, I'm just saying I knew quite a few people in my Masters program who wished they had taken the summer to prepare. People who took the summer off.
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1 minute ago, LoveMysterious said:
Pfffft. I've been working full-time for four years straight, I'm going to savor every second of my backpacking trip. Also if you equate travelling to "wasting time," you're seriously missing out.
I've traveled a lot, lived abroad, gone backpacking in Europe. I'm 36. I've had plenty of time to do that. This is preparation for a job. I've been working for 10 years in various industries, have done a Masters, had a kid, probably need a break, but in the end there is not a lot more important to me than coming into a PhD program completely prepared. It's not a personal insult to your trip, I just think that in the limited time before the start of school, it is best to get into the routine of intense study as soon as possible. That's how I'm approaching it.
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4 minutes ago, SarahBethSortino said:
If I get off the waitlist I plan to spend the summer preparing for the first semester research paper. I am hoping to have all my background reading done by July, then start crafting the body of the paper by the early August. I also plan to request the syllabi for the classes I will take so I can read the material ahead of time.
I would also say that I would strongly advise against wasting the summer traveling, hanging out with friends, or just hanging out. Unless you need to work full time up until the point you start, which is totally valid, you should not waste the opportunity to get as prepared for the semester as you possibly can. When I did my Masters, I tried to know exactly what was going to be expected of me. I spent the entire summer reading through all the materials for the classes I would be taking. It made the first semester much easier than it would have been had I not done so, because when time was tight and I had deadlines in one class that took a priority over another, I could refer to the notes from my readings. This is likely the last time for several years you will have to get ahead, because you will probably feel like you are perpetually behind for the rest of your graduate school career.
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If I get off the waitlist I plan to spend the summer preparing for the first semester research paper. I am hoping to have all my background reading done by July, then start crafting the body of the paper by the early August. I also plan to request the syllabi for the classes I will take so I can read the material ahead of time.
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On 4/2/2017 at 0:40 PM, Neist said:
I thought I'd chime and state that it's possible to be called in the summer, albeit with some rarity. As @TMP noted, most universities know their fiscal year budget by the end of June, hence, how many students they can support. However, I've known several instances of enrolled graduate students dropping out at the very last minute, freeing up a position. Said position is often difficult to fill as it's somewhat difficult to find a qualified student within such short notice.
I readily admit that it's probably a rare circumstance, but it can happen. At any rate, I'd agree that you shouldn't withdraw. Should you get off the waitlist, you can always turn down the offer then. There's no need to speculate what you might be offered until it happens.
I'm feeling bolstered by my meeting at the university yesterday. I don't have any more actual information regarding my particular situation, but I was told that there are people who have not responded to their acceptances and that the school is actively reaching out to get a gauge on where their decisions might stand. People are taking a very long time and at least one person is waiting to see how their own waitlist situation pans out before making a decision. BUT, I was told that the meeting wouldn't even be happening if there wasn't a very good chance things would work out for me. So although I'm still stressed and frustrated, I'm feeling a little better knowing that I have all the information I can possibly have right now.
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My mentor from undergrad has remained my very good friend - even came to my wedding - and I still to this day cannot avoid calling him Dr.
Very sick with two important classes today
in Coursework, Advising, and Exams
Posted
Thought I would throw this out there - I have two classes today, one that meets regularly and one that only meets once a month. The once a month class is a panel discussion with a variety of visiting scholars and as it’s only once a month, it is fairly mandatory. Problem is that I have a pretty bad case of bronchitis. I never ever thought I would be considering missing a class. I not only do feel terrible, but I’m comcerned about coughing when the panelists are speaking/being locked in two small rooms for 3 hours each when I’m obviously contagious. Should I ditch the classes and stay home? Should I suck it up? When I was working I never took sick days, but I would have stayed home for this.