Charlsa

Satie is my jam. Thanks for the recs, everyone! I'll check them out the next time the news has me on edge.

I've heard literally nothing and it's starting to freak me out. No mail, no calls, no e-mails. The most I've gotten is emailed receipts for my submissions and South Carolina's Financial Aid office asking me to create an account so they can......? Yeah, if anyone could finish that sentence, I'd appreciate it, because I'm at a loss. The results from other schools are starting to pour in, but none from my schools. Also I flip-flop literally every day as to whether my chances are decent or terrible. I stay occupied by reading too much mindless fiction. Just finished Ring by Koji Suzuki. Also I'm trying to get into classical music, if anyone has any recommendations. I want 19th and 20th century rebels.

It's all good. I rested for a few hours and walked carefully with a brace to get her gift from a local place. The house is still a wreck but she's happy.

I forgot my mother's birthday entirely yesterday and had planned to clean up the house, get her a gift, and make dinner after lunch. Until I slipped on the icy sidewalk outside the restaurant and popped my knee out (very briefly--it slipped right back in to place). Now i'm sitting with it elevated in a brace with heat, but doubt I can get everything done by 5. Do I drop cleaning the kitchen or buying a gift?

I've already started looking up Korean restaurants in every city I applied. I need to set my priorities straight, but only after I know there will be bibimbap.

I've tried both macarons and choux pastry only once and both times were a failure. I really need to try again, but almond flour isn't exactly cheap and I hate the idea of spending money on something likely to fail (she says while applying to graduate schools she will probably never get into). It's funny because the baker I consulted beforehand said choux pastry is easier to prepare than the custard I had intended as the filler, but my custard came out fantastic and my pastry looked more like ladyfingers. Maybe I'm just destined for cooking rather than baking. Cooking was useful while I was in graduate school too. I would feel guilty as I began because it was time away from studying, but it probably did more to help in the long run. It was a break from the stress and it was a form of self care, since nutrition affects your mental health and energy. It also broke up the monotony to try new recipes and cuisines. If I get back into school, I would love to have group potlucks or cooking nights where we could either study together (if done weekly) or all agree to not study at all (if monthly).

See large envelope in the mail. Heart rate goes nuts, blood rushes to brain, hands start shaking. Oh thank god, this is it. At least one place has accepted me. Everything will be okay and I can rest easy. Nope, it's a sample packet from a publishing company that my mother requested. Dammit.

We Meant Well: How I Helped Lose the Battle for the Hearts and Minds of the Iraqi People by Peter van Buren and Travels in the Reich: 1933-45 Foreign Authors Report from Germany edited by Oliver Lubrich. Let's be real, the last four months of reading have all been orchestrated to avoid the dense academic text ReNew Marxist Art History which I know will be enriching/challenging/essential. Also I know as soon as I finish it, I'll have to go back to Aesthetics and Politics. I'm hoping that I can inch my way back to it by reading more non-fiction.

I've already decided that if I don't get into grad school for art history, I might apply for library sciences. Still, it's going to be quite a blow.

I really hope any school accepts me at this point because I do not want to be working for the public library in my rural hometown for the rest of my days. I just got over a stomach flu and my boss gave me extra hours. I hope everyone who comes in enjoys vomiting and diarrhea non-stop, because that's what y'all just checked out.

Cooking, working out, practicing Italian, studying Arabic, checking out more books than I could possibly read at once from the library... Although I really should be applying for either a second part time job or a full time job, as a back-up plan.

Have you tried creating daily portions of snacks in individual containers? I had a friend that raved about chain-eating celery for your exactly reason. I can't imagine ever eating celery straight, but there may be another low-calorie vegetable that you could eat as much as you want. Or you could try replacing the standard three large meals per day with more nutritious snacks. If you have issues with eating out of the fridge at home, you could also try spending more time studying/working in public places, although I understand that there's a fine line between "the library is my second home" and "the library is a silent hell built only for me." Also at my old school, the library installed a treadmill with a desk, which was useful for staying awake as well as in shape. I don't know, man. My home life and experience probably differs from yours and I don't have all the details, but at least you're not alone. I think diets and exercise in grad school are fairly common problems. Have you tried talking to fellow students in your program about their solutions, or organizing a work-out group to help motivate each other?

I have a snacking problem, especially while studying. Have you tried getting low carb, high protein snacks? Less fatty nuts, hummus (with cucumbers, carrots and celery rather than pita), and fruit have helped me. Also tea. Tea was a lifesaver when caffeine was starting to wreck my whole system in ways that legitimately interfered with my work, plus it was a much healthier addiction than ginger ale/sugar-loaded lattes/juice/hard cider. My primary concern with a juice fast would be its impact on stress and energy levels, which could make it more difficult to think critically, articulate ideas, complete tasks, or not snap at colleagues. Don't make school any more miserable than it has to be with extreme dieting.

I've checked my spam folder maybe three times today, but I've been checking my email so much that I'm thinking about making a Rule. Which sounds like a better balance of reasonable and responsible: 3 times per day or five?

@CuppyCakerton I'm fairly new to both Gillian Flynn and mystery/suspense books in general, but I liked it! I'm a very grumpy person and it seems like all of her protagonists (from the whole two books I've read) are dour people with tragic pasts. If you really want to amp up the amount of angst in your life, she's great. In comparison to Dark Places, she does seem to highlight income inequalities in small towns. I'm used to the "all rural places are poor" narrative, so I appreciated her decision to focus on a rich family in a small town. I suppose I should give a trigger warning for self harm, since it comes up a lot. If you've been craving stories that center around female relationships, I can't recommend it enough. However, it's rarely positive.

That sounds great! I may check Team Hooman out, if that's okay. Is it fairly large or have its numbers dwindled much? Is than any particular aspect of online community formation that you're focusing on?

in debt

Hey so I hope it's okay that I put this here, and if it's too off-topic I'll delete it... But since we're all on a forum, I have a question: where did all the independent forums go? Or am I just out of the loop? I was a part of several in the early- to late-2000's and all of them shut down. They can be hard to find if you don't already have a name to search, it seems. Do any of you belong to forums that somehow survived? I miss having an online "family" that built its own home, so to speak. If you aren't a part of another forum outside of thegradcafe but have belonged to one in the past, I'd love to hear more about it. Call it Millennial Nostalgia, I guess.

knock up

My best friend was automatically accepted into a program not long after applying. I want to be excited for her but at the same time... I'm waiting, without much hope. And so I have to make back-up plans outside of school. I'm trying to convince myself that America glorifies work so much that our sense of self has been perverted by an obsession with our careers, and that I can define myself and others by how we treat others, what we do outside of work, etc. But it's hard not to feel like I was destined to never make it outside of my hometown while the peers I once competed against go on to do greater things.

Formal Attire

My copy from the library is giving me a massive guilt-trip. I've already renewed it once and haven't read it yet. The Unwinding by George Packer was also included on this reading list from the NY Times, if you haven't read it yet. In KY, Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance has also been popular, in a similar vein.

I've just added Dear Committee Members to my holds list. I need something a little acerbic while I wait... Just finished So You've Been Public Shamed by Jon Ronson, after enjoying The Psychopath Test. It's very light reading, if you want the mass market paperback version of nonfiction. In regards to fiction, I've been on a real female-authored thrillers binge. Read Sharp Objects and Dark Places by Gillian Flynn; currently reading The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes but I'm not hooked. If anyone has any recommendations... Then there's the "I Should Be Reading This But I'm Not" list of unfinished books that I feel too guilty to put back on the shelf.

Mostly depression and anxiety. I was fresh out of undergraduate with a studio degree, and everyone in my class either had a Masters or a previous career in the museum setting. This did wonders for my growing case of "Imposter Syndrome." Also my advisor was on the other side of the country, which made it difficult to foster any sort of relationship. And I was misguided by my alma mater Kent State into thinking it was normal for studio and art history departments to be close. This is not the case for most programs, as it turns out. There was nothing wrong with the program. My advisor and my instructors were decent people and knew their stuff. I loved Richmond, The Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, the graduate teaching assistantship, and even the historic building. It was just... incredibly isolating, since the building was only open 8:30-4:30 and there was no graduate study room at the University library at the time. I consider myself very introverted, and I was just going crazy not being around people or having any friends. SO if this is your first time going into graduate school, the best advice I have is don't let yourself become completely isolated, even if you think you can handle it. Make an effort to put together a study group and to get dinner out sometimes.

Hello All! Glad to see I'm not the only one to re-apply. I was accepted to Virginia Commonwealth last fall but only completed one semester (in good standing, at least...) Is there any chance that one of you means University of South Carolina and not University of Southern California? I applied to the former and would love to hear about why others have applied and if they have visited the department. And if anyone is interested in print culture or Weimar-era German art, hit me up. I'm pretty pessimistic about my chances of being accepted since I left my last program, but hopefully my writing sample and SoP have improved since my undergraduate years (and my GRE score in verbal reasoning increased slightly, but I don't know how much that matters).