Charlsa

I've gotten into one program with a TA-ship, but the TA-ship prohibits outside work. I've already told my coworkers at the library and my parents that I will continue working with them, but now I'm really starting to doubt if that's possible. There is a waiver for outside work, but it's useless until after your first term. My dad is really pushing for me to work anyway, but I'd have to decide between submitting the waiver and thus notifying everyone of my intention to continue working (and hoping for some sort of miracle), or not telling anyone at the school that I am working and risk my TA-ship in the process. As much I as like my current job (and like the money it brings in), I don't even think it would be possible with a graduate school workload and the TA-ship to keep a part-time job that's one hour away from the school. The current plan is to continue working until it becomes apparent that I can't do it anymore and then to quit the library job. But that leaves the library in a tough spot because they would need to find someone immediately. I don't want to disappoint my dad by leaving the library, and all my coworkers are encouraging me to stay, but my personal inclination is to leave. I still remember the workload from the last time i was in graduate school and... It would have been impossible to give up 20 hours of potential studying time (+10 hours driving time).

I was accepted into one program out of four, and it is the least prestigious of the schools (none of which are particularly high ranking). I'm grateful that I'll have somewhere to go, but kind of disappointed that my application wasn't strong enough to get more than a form letter from the other three. The one I'll be attending doesn't have a PhD program, and they want me to decide if I'd rather get an MA and then apply to another PhD program, or get an MFA in a related field as a terminal degree. The MFA would eliminate any legitimate curatorial or academic career, but would have more applications in a museum or gallery environment. But the prospects of me getting into a PhD program in two years isn't looking too good, since I went to an underfunded public school, then a state university, then another state university. It would qualify me for the kind of position I want, but it just doesn't look possible right now. Oh, and also it's looking like I'll be the only one in the program of a very tiny department, which is worrisome.

I avoided too much interrogation by mentioning papers by the professors. Still, I've got a lot of researching and reviewing to do before starting.

I'm going on a campus visit tomorrow. I have to leave around 9am to be there by 10:30, then I have meetings until 3:00, at which point I need to drive back in time for a 4:00-8:00 shift at work. What this all means is that there will be a 12 hour gap between meals and I am a very grumpy person when I do not eat. It's a shame too because there are several restaurants around campus that I'd like to try, but it's seriously like six meetings in a row. Luckily I keep snacks in my locker at work. I'm just gonna... jam them all in my face and hope for the best. Also I have this paranoid fantasy that everyone is going to ask me questions like "are you a Hegelian or a Kantian?" and "Which of my papers was your favorite?" and "What is your opinion on Our Esteemed and Venerable God, Foucault?"

Oh no, just the University of Kentucky so far. I know, UK is misleading (in KY it's common of course, but I really should switch when discussing it elsewhere...). UKy, maybe?

Hey that's me! Thanks! I didn't bother posting because most of the art history folks seemed to be applying to bigger schools, but if anyone else here has applied or has gone there, hit me up.

I had the same issue with caffeine when I was still in grad school. I would have anywhere between 200 and 800 mg/day, and when combined with stress, it did no good whatsoever. I finally had to give up coffee and stick to green tea with a short brewing time.

I've only heard from one school since applying, and it was a rejection. No interviews, no follow-up, no waitlist. No emails, phone calls, or snail mail. I also discovered that my top choice extended their deadline, which makes me think my application wasn't competitive enough. Like they looked at it and said "Anyone else? Anyone at all? Please!" I have three chances left, and then I'm going to have to either grab the first full time job available or consider a different program that would accept recommendations from employers, since I doubt my academic recommenders would agree to do this a third time.

Beer. And honestly, I've tried, I really have. I've tried cheep beer, expensive beer, foreign beer, local beer, microbreweries beer, beer with weird flavors that have no right being in beer... And every beer-lover I talk to says "oh well all those are terrible--try this one!" Guess what, my man, it tastes like shit too. I am just not hopping on the hops-train.

We have a new-ish mailman for our street and I don't trust him. I realize this is fueled entirely by my impatience regarding admission decisions, but that doesn't soothe my paranoia. Our neighbors sometimes park close enough to our mailbox that it's possible to miss it, causing our mail to be delivered to them instead of us. And we also sometimes get other people's mail, which leads me to believe someone else may be receiving our mail and feels no desire to go through all the extra effort of putting it back in the mailbox. This anxiety is making me cynical.

I pissed off my most impressive recommender by continually reminding her to finish my letters. She hates technology, but the only way I could contact her was over email. She finally submitted them a week after the deadline. I always select that I don't want to view the recommendations out of respect to the professors, so I'm... not feeling very positive about her feedback. I know nagging her was a bad move since professors are busy people, but I am very neurotic about deadlines and punctuality. And I received positive feedback from another professor that actually requested that I remind him when the deadline was approaching. So I had the impression that reminding professors would be helpful. Universally, this is not the case. Unfortunately I think my formality in emails to professors may come across as somewhat hostile...

There was no death or trauma or abuse here, but I feel you. 2016 was disappointing on so many levels. 2017 was going to be The Year I Turn Things Around but all I have is a rejection and a constant sense of dread and ennui. I don't want another directionless year in a dead-end job. I intended to seek professional help for mental health issues after I dropped out of a program in 2015, but all the therapists and psychiatrists around here are Christian-oriented and I'm just... not comfortable with that. At least we all suffer together.

-You make ever-growing guilt-ridden lists of all the texts in your field you haven't read yet. -You know precisely when the postal mail arrives going by your stomach aches. -You've grown to hate Sundays because "there's no post on Sundays." (I have never related to Harry Potter more.) -You suspect your recommenders of secretly hating you. -You're already brainstorming thesis ideas at your muggle job, just as an escape.

I've got one first round rejection out of my four applications, but nothing else. Two of those applications are to schools that rejected me two years ago (unfortunately not the one that rejected me this time), but I'm hoping my application has improved enough for them to reconsider. The daily stomach aches leading up to checking the mail are no fun. Also two schools moved back their deadlines from January to March, so that could be another reason why decisions are late. "All I Need Is One" has become my anthem by this point.

We have a lot of college students in my hometown that like to cross in the middle of the road--no crosswalk. We're a pretty laidback town so I don't really care except when cars are coming, at night, and they wear all black! Like c'mon! Have some self awareness at least! If it's night and you're wearing dark clothes, I can't see you and I expect you to be aware of oncoming cars at least. It's like they think because they live in this Stars Hollow/The Shire-like town that cars can't hit them. And it's not even like the long-held student fantasy of being hit and no longer having student debt or tuition fees holds true, because they're going to a free college already. At best it will get them out of next week's deadlines.

My first rejection came today as well. We even applied to the same number of schools. It wasn't my top choice, but it was also obviously a "you didn't even make our top twenty list" letter. Just keep telling yourself "this doesn't mean anything, this doesn't mean anything, this doesn't mean anything and absolutely does not indicate the potential outcome of future admissions decisions."

Since I worked in an academic library's special collections as an undergrad and I work at a public library now, I was thinking about applying to a library sciences program if none of the art history programs accept me. It's not ideal since I don't have the credentials to attend a special collections/archival studies or museum studies program, and would probably have to apply to something more general. Still, if I can keep my job at my local library and get a masters degree, then I stand a better chance of going full time and getting a significant raise. I really don't want to live in my hometown forever, but it's better than starving.

Historical recipes sound like a great idea! I've heard about The Mid-Century Menu but that's mostly for saying "oh good god, they ate that?!" I've wanted to perfect a soup beans recipe that is served every year at Living Archaeology Weekend at the Red River Gorge in KY, but that requires a fire, a giant kettle, and loads of time. How's that for keeping it local? In the meantime, I have an electric stove and seasoned cast iron skillets. Meanwhile, I am rediscovering the power and glory of fruit smoothies. I have a food processor that's hand-cranked and I can't recommend it enough. And you should totally do historical recipe potlucks! Grad school is lonely as all get-out; anything to curb the loneliness should be welcomed.

In honor of the eight sticky seasons of Duck Dynasty someone just checked in, I'm going to go ahead and add it to my list of popular things I hate. Of course they would be returned sticky. To expect otherwise would be naïve. Also as much as I find their characters repulsive, it would be at least tolerable if they were not so obviously faking it for the money. Why is it filed under non-fiction?! They are acting; these are not their real personalities.

I know at least in 18th c. Germany, Winckelmann was scolding artists to imitate the Greeks. I was told he was the father of art history, so I'm not certain what was the norm before then. The study of art would have been considered the philosophy and/or science of aesthetics around his time. So it would be less "this guy did it this way for this reason" and more "there is one true and pure beauty and here are some instances in which somebody or some culture came close." (f--king HEGEL) And then there were the times and places in which artists were considered more like craftsmen, so it would be a matter of picking up techniques or styles according to what your talents were and what the patrons desired. We know that Michelangelo, that cheeky devil, would imitate ancient Roman statues, but they were also in high demand. Maybe the secret is following the money to determine how and what artists (and art historians) study? Depending on how far back you want to go, literacy levels, dissemination of reproductions, the ability to travel, and the wealth of the artist would also impact what they studied. It's easy to understand how artists would be considered craftsmen if training through workshops and apprenticeships was the majority of their education. If we're talking in the last 200 years or so, I'd say artists were deeply involved in considering, forming, rejecting and using theory just as art historians have been. I know that I'm fond of looking at art in terms of historical events, and I came from a studio background. But after taking a historiography class for art history, I came to understand that theory is, unfortunately, nothing new in our field. It's pretty much founded on it thanks to German philosophers (those bastards---I might never forgive Kant and Hegel). Sorry if this is a bit tangential. It's midnight and I'm super wired.

My copy is literally arriving any day now! @feelthebern16 recommended it to me. I've been meaning to read books about "the other side" of the US political divide, but the books I checked out continue to gather dust. Also I am determined to finish ReNew Marxist Art History and Aesthetics & Politics before I get into graduate school (IF I get into graduate school.....). Do any of you have goodreads accounts that you wouldn't mind sharing? Here is mine, if anyone wants to be friends. Sometimes I think my "To-Read" list is where good books go to die unread.

Criminal investigation shows--the whole lot of them. All the NCISs, CSIs, Law & Orders, True Crime, etc. Cop shows too (Blue Bloods in particular).

I only applied to four programs on the basis that they all be within 400 miles of my hometown and are somewhat open to studio courses (for art history).* This is not advisable, but I had issues with being 10 hours away from any friends or family. Unfortunately no responses yet. I nearly lost my breath when I saw three large envelopes in the mail, but they were all false alarms. (*I don't even particularly want to take studio courses; I just don't trust an art history program that discourages its students from learning to make art.)