M(allthevowels)H

I just got a second chance to submit missing materials for what I thought was an implied rejection. Wish me Luck! 

This is an old post, but amongst my age-similar friends, I am often called on to be the adultiest adult.  It may not apply to you anymore...but maybe it will apply to someone else looking here in the future.  Therefore, my Adulting advice. 
 
- Know how much you want to spend on things like rent.  Be sure to calculate in approximate costs for electric, water, Internet, etc.  For me, I worked backwards, and said that I wanted my household income to not be taken up by more than 50% of rent, bills, car payments, etc.
- For moving efficiently across country (or anywhere, for that matter), there are three factors: Time, Cost, and Ease/Quality.  If you have an infinite amount of money, you can pay someone to come and pack up all your stuff, move it for you, and unpack it.  It's extremely expensive, but it's easy and fast.  Most grad students are likely to prioritize low cost and low time.  So you're probably looking at getting rid of a lot of stuff (I'm looking at you, old sofa) and renting a Uhaul.  Don't forget that you can ask friends to help drive, but be willing to pay them for their time.  Don't be That guy.
- It's okay to move somewhere temporarily while you figure out the area.  Look for a sublet - generally, 3-6 months of someone who needed to get out of their lease.  That'll give you a good feel for the area.  It comes at the "cost" of having to move your stuff again, but depending on how much stuff you have, living out of boxes for a few months is generally okay.  You don't *really* need to unbox all your crafting, family photos, etc.
- Scan a lot of stuff in.  You probably don't need hard copies of your 2012 tax returns.  Scan it, then shred it.
- Keep the important stuff.  Know where your birth certificate is, your passport, etc.  Keep it in a fire-proof envelope or something if you can't afford a safe deposit box.
- Ask for help.  Be vulnerable.  Surprisingly, I've found people respect both of these things.  Or most people do.  The ones that don't aren't worth your time.
 
And, here's my #1 piece of advice:
 
Nobody has any idea what the hell they're doing.  Everyone is faking it.  All the time.
So when you think, "Whoa, I don't know what I'm doing, everyone else does, and I'm just a big Phony McFakester."  Take a step back and realize that nobody else has it figured out either.  Nope, not your parents, or that old Professor Emeritus everyone looks up to.  This is both terrifying (Abraham Lincoln had no idea what he was doing), and exhilirating (if Abe didn't know that freeing the slaves would turn out okay, it's okay if you don't know whether or not your career choice will turn out okay).  Everyone is making the best decisions they can with the information they have at the time.
 
Of course, this also means that I have no idea what I'm doing...so everything above might be wrong.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

You get it!
The first time the EGSA hosted an event and invited the MFA we spent the first fifteen minutes just looking around, surprised there was not actually a table with a bunch of wine on it. "Is it behind the soda? Is it under the table? Where do they keep it?"

I've been feeling the same way about being single for a long time but still wanting to have a child. I was looking into pregnancy options being single, but it's a little overwhelming money-wise when I've never had money. Eight years is very long, no wonder you already started the process--it also gives time to be sure about it haha.
Thanks for the info! I'm here temporarily, and I don't know where I'll end up after my PhD, but it's good to know the options out there. It's pretty scary to think I'm in my late twenties, no partner any time soon (not even knowing the gender of future partner--could be a woman and we'd have the same "issue"), and I've always wanted a child.
Edit: looking at the website, it's interesting to know more about fostering. These poor kids, man.

My concentration was so broad in my SOP for my M.A. program. It literally just said African American lit, maybe I specified with women. That was it.
I ended up writing on a specific migration narrative and blah blah blah.
So, no.
I don't think switching is that egregious. Just find the right people to work with once you get there, because M.A. programs go quick,

LOL I was in the MFA program at NYU so I get this 10000%   Four bottles of wine per workshop was.....not unheard of 

When I was thanking my undergrad reccommenders, everyone got a candle and a card. Now that I'm thanking my MFA recommenders, everyone is getting booze.
(The MFA's culture is very boozy, so I promise this is perfectly ordinary for us. Your mileage may vary.)

@ everybody in this thread, imposter syndrome is normal. They've accepted you, they spent a great deal of time figuring out if you are ready. You're ready. Your cohorts might seem more impressive, but I guarantee that they're going through same thing (if they aren't, there's a good chance that they're in for a rude awakening).
 

I seriously love this group. You guys are so supportive and I'm so glad that so many of the PhD applicants are receiving such great news.

Yay! They sound like really good people. Fingers crossed for you. 

Congrats on being one step closer to your final decision! Rejecting offers is always the hardest part but I'm sure someone will be happy for the opportunities that arise.
Yay. Congrats! I hope it works out!
Congrats! I've heard good things about Oregon State's MA program!

I wasn't trying to accuse you of holding those views, and if I came across that way I'm sorry. When I mentioned those methods in opposition to what I was doing or had read, it's because those are the opposing ideas to what I'm talking about that do exist. When I say something like , "rather than presenting Academic English as infallible" it's not in response to you - it's in response to what a great many teachers do. It is just the other option in the wider conversation. Sorry if that was unclear, or I made you feel like I was attacking you for some imaginary pedagogy. I'm more including the other because it is a part of the conversation (which is happening everywhere, for what it's worth. This has been a consistent conversation among writing teachers since at least my practicum a few years ago, so it definitely bears discussing.)

Wait and vomit in the DGS' office to establish dominance.
 
*may have binge watched House of Cards season 3 this week*

Whoop whoop! Impostering so hard I'm expecting to see Scooby Doo and his friends waiting to unmask me at my first campus visit. I have no advice, only the solid expectation that we will both get through this.
 
 
@E. Coronaria I see what you're saying re: dangers of ignoring grammar. But like @EspritHabile I also have abandoned a rule and recitation based grammar (I teaching writing exclusively). Retention for recitation-based grammar lessons are iffy. It takes a year+ for something "sink in." Coming at grammar as it arises through the articulation of ideas is just a more effective way (for me) to introduce these elements. That way the class is geared toward the generation and clarification of ideas and opinions and grammar is a vehicle to make that possible - rather than a more abstract goal of learning X rules or demonstrating command of them. It's almost more valuable to teach academic speech as translation work or code switching, rather than presenting Academic English as an infallible standard. I don't think this is a disservice to students because a student who knows how to think critically and organize those thoughts is far more competitive than one whose only memorized Strunk and White.
Mina Shaughnessy has a pretty cool essay that talks about how a flawed relationship between teacher and students is the "converting the nonbeliever" model - where one party has all of the information and the other party can only offer obedience. It's much easier - and more successful - to work from a place where both sides respect the sophistication of the other - partners on a journey whose destination both parties want to reach. If that makes sense. She put it better, probably. But working through essays together and using specific grammar rules as they come up presents these things as tools to aid in the larger and more important journey of students expressing themselves, rather than a test or quiz they're going to fail.

@hibiscus what @CulturalCriminal said, but with the obligatory adjuncting suuuuuuuuuuuucks. I'm also not sure at what tier medical benefits become part of the package. I think Senior Lecturer at some places?

I received two lovely emails from the Louisville grad assistant and director of the graduate English program stating that they would love for me to attend (I have been waitlisted for funded so emailed back last week saying I really admire the program but can't attend without funding) and will keep me updated immediately of changes on the funding waitlist, so I feel pretty encouraged. Program director even asked if I'd like to set up a time to talk on the phone more about the program and so he can answer any questions I may have. No matter what happens, the graduate faculty at Louisville has been so extremely kind this entire process and I'm very impressed by that. 

Yes! Absolutely tell the department, especially if you want to speak to a faculty member, current student, or sit in on a class. I made a tiny joke to one of my programs about just showing up, and they seemed quite nervous about that. If you've been admitted into their PhD, they might already have funds set aside for visits (though if so, it will likely just be for you. A few programs have specified that they can't pay for the travel of guests so your parents would be on their own financially).
If you're just visiting to see campus and don't actually want to speak with anyone, I guess going incognito is fine, but it would be a good opportunity to get a feel for the people and atmosphere.

Congrats!! It's never too late for good news.

Thanks @punctilious! And I'm really happy for your husband's Harvard acceptance.
 
Thank you for rooting for me, @M(allthevowels)H !! That waitlist notification was my first positive response in an otherwise crummy season and I guess that showed. This is my top choice anyway, so couldn't be happier!  

Congratulations @Noire et Étrange, that is amazing!!

This is a bit late... but I was accepted to Columbia yesterday!! 

Accepted off the waitlist at UNC-Chapel Hill!! SO THRILLED  

Ah, you were so young and naive then...in the good old five hours ago.

Hahahahahah!!!! I wish I could tell myself BE PATIENT LITTLE ONE, IT'S WORTH THE WAIT. I love this is documented!!!!

Ah, you were so young and naive then...in the good old five hours ago.

RE: Columbia, just called and asked and was told “no decisions have been made, they are still deciding, in fact they are deciding right now” and that decisions should be sent in the next few weeks. My read from that is that they are meeting today to discuss them so I hope we start hearing things next week, but who knows.