FreakyFoucault

Damn straight. Never settle!

knock, knock Chi Adcomm: "Who's there?" @WildeThing: "Giva" Chi Adcomm: "Giva, who?" @WildeThing: "Giva bro an interview!" ACCEPTED.

I've always thought about it! You know I studied Poli Sci, so maybe it's just a matter of time!

@WildeThing, Stop writing hilarious posts while my reactions are all used up, dammit!

I'm not sure, at this point. Sixteen rejections would be tough to stomach, but the worst part would be deciding whether to quit my current shitty job. I've got an unhealthy amount of student debt, so I have to stay employed. But my job is soul-deadening; I really don't think I could stay here much longer. I also haven't given much thought about what I'd like to do in the private sector if academia doesn't work out. Yeah, yeah, I know it's irresponsible, but I'm in my early twenties, so this is to be expected. Perhaps I'll join the dark side and work on a political campaign. I think the swamp could use a well-meaning dingus like me. In fact, this is probably not the worst time to become politically involved, if ya know what I mean. Also, @a_sort_of_fractious_angel, I'm really pulling for you. Of course, I don't know you at all, but I do know that you deserve a spot at a great school. So again, I'm hoping for the best.

I tend to serve my logic with equal portions of Sweet Baby Ray's and Jack Daniels. This could explain why >90% of the things I say are stupid but sweet. Also, I'm out of reactions for the day, @WildeThing, so you'll just have to wait till tomorrow!

The most nefarious kind!

True, the dread would probably be spread out over a longer period, but I think without the ability to constantly, often futilely, check portals/e-mail, the pre-Internet applicant was less manic than we are.

Kind of makes you yearn for the days when decisions where rendered only by snail mail... (he writes on an iPad...)

I think it's worth remembering that just because one may not fit in University X, it's not a necessary indication that one won't fit in University Y. There are so many variables of which, by necessity, we're unaware, so I wouldn't count yourself out just yet, @WildeThing. I had a friend one cycle that got rejected by 15/16 schools, but the one that did accept him was his first choice. I imagine this isn't too comforting, but still, have faith!

Dad-shellacked! Also, @mk-8, how’re you feeling about the Super Bowl? Eagles looked pretty good last night (Poor Vikings)!

Bureaucratically shellacked!

Self-shellacked!

Got an e-mail from AcademicJobsOnline.Org, which Duke uses to process English writing samples. My bleary, morning-encrusted eyes -- combined with the feverish excitement of having received a possibly relevant message from a school -- refused to read the note, so I proceeded directly to the Duke portal. Checked it, and ....... No update. Shellacked! ~also~ Got a call shortly thereafter from a number whose area code services one of the schools to which I applied. Answered it, and ....... Robot offered to refinance my student loans. Shellacked again! Anybody else getting shellacked on the reg out there?? (Credit where credit's due: I stole this title from a thread over at physicsgre.com, which had some serious jokers in '08 and '09).

My friend Emily used to joke that women may be crazy, but only because men make them so. I think we could probably say the same about us and adcomms...

This is my Weltanschauung in a nutshell...

Here’s to you, @Jerry Renault!

Laphroaig is a little too boggy for me, but, for sure, I’d never turn it down. I’ll take that peat any day.

@Bayesian1701, I’m about as totalitarian as English majors get in terms of orthographic correctness, but even I am entirely disheartened to hear that three mere apostrophes could ruin one’s chances at a STEM fellowship. That’s some shit, if you ask me.

MLA pales in comparison...

This is an awesome topic, @WildeThing, and one I had to think about quite a bit while drafting my SOP. The bulk of my undergrad work, and the subject of my most significant (relative term, of course) research paper, is in the Victorian era; however, during my senior year, I took classes almost exclusively in American literature and consequently fell in love with post-war and postmodern fiction. So, when I was trying to select a primary-interest subfield for my SOP, I was at a crossroads in choosing between Victorian and American. I ultimately picked the former, since it makes the most sense given my experience and also because I do adore the literature of the Victorian era. But I still made sure to mention that I'd love to somehow combine my Victorian work with contemporary American fiction. In fact, part of the reason I applied to Harvard is that they ask you to submit two writing samples, so I sent them my primary Victorian essay, and also one that I wrote on Naked Lunch. I'm hoping it gets the attention of Andrew Warren, who does work on both 19th-century British lit and also David Foster Wallace and his ilk. (Although, btw, I was not yesterday's Harvard acceptance. Sad face -- although happy face for that successful applicant )

@ArcierePrudente, 30 fully funded months of PhD study would be more than welcome!! I took a bunch of "pre-law" classes in undergrad, and for the life me, I just couldn't regurgitate the >5,984,217 dates and case names unless I used silly mnemonics to remember them. I kid you not, this website https://haikubriefs.wordpress.com/ was a God send for my grades.

Congrats, everyone!!!

Get it, son!!!

He should be! In addition to building the spreadsheet, doing research, and helping him draft his SOP, you're also his PR apparatus! That's certainly cause for a joint PhD. Just to get the ball rolling, here's my shitty attempt at a mnemonic: "Eminem was an eminent rap artist of the early 2000s"; "mankind is immanent, while deities are transcendent" (we'll ignore that fatuously reductive statement for a moment...); and "the danger of mines is that some are in imminent threat of collapse." Carly, if you think that's bad, this was an actual footnote in a rough draft of one of my writing samples: "If we pay attention to the characters not necessarily as characters but as pseudo-pluralistic actors in a homogeneous semantic-linguistic space, we may be able to better analyze the “associative clusters” around which Naked Lunch’s ontology manifests itself." Thankfully, I got over my "must-sound-impressive" phase and replaced that sentence with something that actually approaches meaning and not simply bombast. But still ... yikes.