TheDude

Eh, I am kind of into men's fashion... I think it makes me more manly for admitting it! Also, the only moments of bonding I could ever find with my sister was when she'd help me with my wardrobe so something rubbed off. I'm going to go for it here.

Here goes:

A pair of black shoes and brown shoes. A black belt and a brown belt- match your shoes and your belt! A blue oxford will go with any tie as well as a nice white oxford. if you aren't wearing ties I like plaids and Gingrahams- buy blues deep earthy reds, purple/maroons --> mix colors that are earthly tones so you don't look depressing in spring or out of place in winter. Add color. You need a wardrobe that can cross through seasons if you are going to be near broke. Ties- University ties are easy enough (the one's with horizontal stripes) these along with solid ties are essential. A nice wool or cotton charcoal grey tie will kill with plaids and other patterned shirts. Yes, you can mix patterned ties and patterned shirts as long as they are different patterns- even Micro striped shirts will go with striped ties if the the size of the stripe on each is clearly different. The only large patterned shirts I like to buy are plaids and gingrahams. Unless you get micro stripe shirts I always feel like a candy-cane. Before I leave this one- You are going to want to learn how to match ties and shirts. Most men look like their tie and shirt combos were bought in one of those cheesy shirt/tie sets you find a JC Penny's. Find a color wheel online and learn how complimentary colors work unless you want the "shades" of whatever your shirt color is look. I'd get bored looking at that every day. Getting ties in your primary colors is a good start for a wardrobe...but a good grey tie will go with a great deal of clothing Dark denim. Straight up black or blue with no cheesy washes. The darker the more professional...they'll looked washed out a bit with age. You can avoid looking old by wearing jeans with a nice blazer and button up. Just make sure these are classic or slim fit for this to work. Blazers/sport coat. I like Browns and Grays. I find these go with nearly everything and look more contemporary than the traditional blue or black. For material I recommend tweed (a nice tweed), corduroy or a light wool. Technically there is a difference between sport jackets and blazers but- that aside just make sure your jacket has 2 buttons and not 3. It should fall slightly below your waist but not drape over your backside. Chinos: Blue, dark gray, brown to play it safe. A nice cardigan or two can be dressed up or down with ties or without ties.

My favorite look: Dark blue jeans with Clark's desert boots a nice dark brown sport coat worn over a sharp plaid. I can fit in with older crowds without looking aged or ridiculous and I can easily hit up a cool trendy bar with my friends who are in their 20's and stand out just enough from the rest as to not fade to the backdrop.

The biggest rule is make sure your clothes fit!!! Jackets should not look like tents, pants should fit your legs and waist without needing a belt to hold them up and shirts should be able to be tucked in without yards of excess fabric draped behind you. Expenses aside, you will never look decent in clothes that don't fit!

For fun:
Don't wear shinny shirts- It isn't 2000.
For Pete's sake don't wear a yellow tie and a blue shirt. It is business school attire 101 or the garb of middle aged overweight men.
Don't wear pink. Most guys can't pull it off. Even if you can it is cliche. Check out purple if you want the same vibe without looking tired.
Pink ties and black shirts are for frat guys.
Don't match everything you are wearing with different shades of the same color. Most guys do this because it is brainless.
Not a huge fan of slacks if you want the the look that strays between proper casual and professional. They just look too dressed up and old IMO.
Repeat above: No pleats- They never looked flattering on anyone other than larger men.
You can buy cool colored socks to look a little more fashionable.
DON'T BUTTON UP YOUR JACKET ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!
Grab a couple handkerchiefs to put in your sport coat/blazer pocket when situations call for you to be dressed up a little more than normal.
You don't have to spend a lot of money on clothes for them to be nice. YOu just have to know what to look for quality wise when you are buying on a budget.
I've seen 200$ shirts that were horrible and some of my favorite shirts were total steals at 20$
Cute ties are a no no and should be saved for when you are a father and your kid doesn't know what to get you for father's day. They always look messy and out of place.
I like Gilt.com for the net if you have a couple months to shop. They do flash sales daily with some really great deals on some top products. Even if you don't buy there it is worth signing up (free) to at the very least see how outfits are put together.
Outlet malls are great. If you are looking for one store to hit, if you had to do it this way, J.Crew is pretty solid in the last few years. The retail spots can be pricey, but the outlet stores are often a steal.

I'll conclude with two things. First, if you have women in your life trust them (mothers, grandmas, sisters, girlfriends or friends) as they will always help you look sharp. Lastly, a good goal for men's wardrobe should be versatility. You are going to drop some money on clothes no matter what and you want to make sure you have shirts you can dress up or dress down, same with pants and sweaters, jackets, etc.

FYI: I could do all of the above, either on Gilt.com alone, or with summer sales for 600$...maybe 5. This is all provided you have none of the above. If you are going to do the Gilt.com thing PM and I'll send you and invite to the site. I think it is still invite only.

Eh, I am kind of into men's fashion... I think it makes me more manly for admitting it! Also, the only moments of bonding I could ever find with my sister was when she'd help me with my wardrobe so something rubbed off. I'm going to go for it here.

Here goes:

A pair of black shoes and brown shoes. A black belt and a brown belt- match your shoes and your belt! A blue oxford will go with any tie as well as a nice white oxford. if you aren't wearing ties I like plaids and Gingrahams- buy blues deep earthy reds, purple/maroons --> mix colors that are earthly tones so you don't look depressing in spring or out of place in winter. Add color. You need a wardrobe that can cross through seasons if you are going to be near broke. Ties- University ties are easy enough (the one's with horizontal stripes) these along with solid ties are essential. A nice wool or cotton charcoal grey tie will kill with plaids and other patterned shirts. Yes, you can mix patterned ties and patterned shirts as long as they are different patterns- even Micro striped shirts will go with striped ties if the the size of the stripe on each is clearly different. The only large patterned shirts I like to buy are plaids and gingrahams. Unless you get micro stripe shirts I always feel like a candy-cane. Before I leave this one- You are going to want to learn how to match ties and shirts. Most men look like their tie and shirt combos were bought in one of those cheesy shirt/tie sets you find a JC Penny's. Find a color wheel online and learn how complimentary colors work unless you want the "shades" of whatever your shirt color is look. I'd get bored looking at that every day. Getting ties in your primary colors is a good start for a wardrobe...but a good grey tie will go with a great deal of clothing Dark denim. Straight up black or blue with no cheesy washes. The darker the more professional...they'll looked washed out a bit with age. You can avoid looking old by wearing jeans with a nice blazer and button up. Just make sure these are classic or slim fit for this to work. Blazers/sport coat. I like Browns and Grays. I find these go with nearly everything and look more contemporary than the traditional blue or black. For material I recommend tweed (a nice tweed), corduroy or a light wool. Technically there is a difference between sport jackets and blazers but- that aside just make sure your jacket has 2 buttons and not 3. It should fall slightly below your waist but not drape over your backside. Chinos: Blue, dark gray, brown to play it safe. A nice cardigan or two can be dressed up or down with ties or without ties.

My favorite look: Dark blue jeans with Clark's desert boots a nice dark brown sport coat worn over a sharp plaid. I can fit in with older crowds without looking aged or ridiculous and I can easily hit up a cool trendy bar with my friends who are in their 20's and stand out just enough from the rest as to not fade to the backdrop.

The biggest rule is make sure your clothes fit!!! Jackets should not look like tents, pants should fit your legs and waist without needing a belt to hold them up and shirts should be able to be tucked in without yards of excess fabric draped behind you. Expenses aside, you will never look decent in clothes that don't fit!

For fun:
Don't wear shinny shirts- It isn't 2000.
For Pete's sake don't wear a yellow tie and a blue shirt. It is business school attire 101 or the garb of middle aged overweight men.
Don't wear pink. Most guys can't pull it off. Even if you can it is cliche. Check out purple if you want the same vibe without looking tired.
Pink ties and black shirts are for frat guys.
Don't match everything you are wearing with different shades of the same color. Most guys do this because it is brainless.
Not a huge fan of slacks if you want the the look that strays between proper casual and professional. They just look too dressed up and old IMO.
Repeat above: No pleats- They never looked flattering on anyone other than larger men.
You can buy cool colored socks to look a little more fashionable.
DON'T BUTTON UP YOUR JACKET ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!
Grab a couple handkerchiefs to put in your sport coat/blazer pocket when situations call for you to be dressed up a little more than normal.
You don't have to spend a lot of money on clothes for them to be nice. YOu just have to know what to look for quality wise when you are buying on a budget.
I've seen 200$ shirts that were horrible and some of my favorite shirts were total steals at 20$
Cute ties are a no no and should be saved for when you are a father and your kid doesn't know what to get you for father's day. They always look messy and out of place.
I like Gilt.com for the net if you have a couple months to shop. They do flash sales daily with some really great deals on some top products. Even if you don't buy there it is worth signing up (free) to at the very least see how outfits are put together.
Outlet malls are great. If you are looking for one store to hit, if you had to do it this way, J.Crew is pretty solid in the last few years. The retail spots can be pricey, but the outlet stores are often a steal.

I'll conclude with two things. First, if you have women in your life trust them (mothers, grandmas, sisters, girlfriends or friends) as they will always help you look sharp. Lastly, a good goal for men's wardrobe should be versatility. You are going to drop some money on clothes no matter what and you want to make sure you have shirts you can dress up or dress down, same with pants and sweaters, jackets, etc.

FYI: I could do all of the above, either on Gilt.com alone, or with summer sales for 600$...maybe 5. This is all provided you have none of the above. If you are going to do the Gilt.com thing PM and I'll send you and invite to the site. I think it is still invite only.

How many blogs like this are there? We all know it is hard, we all know the pitfalls, we all know the difficulty. Some people need to vent and tell everyone else how big of a mistake their decision is going to be despite being at a different program in a different field and a different person. Some are bitter at their choices.

I wish all these people would just man up and quit if they hate it so much. You read and write for a living in an air-conditioned building. You aren't working in a factory or on a construction site or in a nuclear reactor core. You could have it worse.

Take your GRE earlier rather than later.

Be on your letter writers early and LIE about the deadlines. Yes, I said lie. You're going to be the one developing an ulcer when they push it to the last second of the last day... save yourself the headache.

Spend a great deal of time on your statement of purpose, with a particularly shrewd eye on the letters going to your top choice.

It really is all about "fit" and luck. You can only do something about one of those items, and even then you still don't have much control in this whole process.

Save more money for applications than you think you might need.
How you treat the application process can be the first step towards the ridiculous "do or die" mentality that is readily apparent in a lot of grad students. THIS WHOLE PROCESS WILL NOT MAKE OR BREAK YOU!

You're not as smart as you think you are nor are you as smart as everyone told you. Realize this now and you'll be hurting a lot less in October. I'll have to revisit this prediction at a later date.

No one cares that University X hasn't contacted you back yet and that you are freaking out. Once you apply shut up and don't bug your SO, friends and family about all of this.

Expect rejections, and lots of them!

Don't visit this site so much. In hindsight it drove me nuts!!!!!!

Take your GRE earlier rather than later.

Be on your letter writers early and LIE about the deadlines. Yes, I said lie. You're going to be the one developing an ulcer when they push it to the last second of the last day... save yourself the headache.

Spend a great deal of time on your statement of purpose, with a particularly shrewd eye on the letters going to your top choice.

It really is all about "fit" and luck. You can only do something about one of those items, and even then you still don't have much control in this whole process.

Save more money for applications than you think you might need.
How you treat the application process can be the first step towards the ridiculous "do or die" mentality that is readily apparent in a lot of grad students. THIS WHOLE PROCESS WILL NOT MAKE OR BREAK YOU!

You're not as smart as you think you are nor are you as smart as everyone told you. Realize this now and you'll be hurting a lot less in October. I'll have to revisit this prediction at a later date.

No one cares that University X hasn't contacted you back yet and that you are freaking out. Once you apply shut up and don't bug your SO, friends and family about all of this.

Expect rejections, and lots of them!

Don't visit this site so much. In hindsight it drove me nuts!!!!!!

Take your GRE earlier rather than later.

Be on your letter writers early and LIE about the deadlines. Yes, I said lie. You're going to be the one developing an ulcer when they push it to the last second of the last day... save yourself the headache.

Spend a great deal of time on your statement of purpose, with a particularly shrewd eye on the letters going to your top choice.

It really is all about "fit" and luck. You can only do something about one of those items, and even then you still don't have much control in this whole process.

Save more money for applications than you think you might need.
How you treat the application process can be the first step towards the ridiculous "do or die" mentality that is readily apparent in a lot of grad students. THIS WHOLE PROCESS WILL NOT MAKE OR BREAK YOU!

You're not as smart as you think you are nor are you as smart as everyone told you. Realize this now and you'll be hurting a lot less in October. I'll have to revisit this prediction at a later date.

No one cares that University X hasn't contacted you back yet and that you are freaking out. Once you apply shut up and don't bug your SO, friends and family about all of this.

Expect rejections, and lots of them!

Don't visit this site so much. In hindsight it drove me nuts!!!!!!

Take your GRE earlier rather than later.

Be on your letter writers early and LIE about the deadlines. Yes, I said lie. You're going to be the one developing an ulcer when they push it to the last second of the last day... save yourself the headache.

Spend a great deal of time on your statement of purpose, with a particularly shrewd eye on the letters going to your top choice.

It really is all about "fit" and luck. You can only do something about one of those items, and even then you still don't have much control in this whole process.

Save more money for applications than you think you might need.
How you treat the application process can be the first step towards the ridiculous "do or die" mentality that is readily apparent in a lot of grad students. THIS WHOLE PROCESS WILL NOT MAKE OR BREAK YOU!

You're not as smart as you think you are nor are you as smart as everyone told you. Realize this now and you'll be hurting a lot less in October. I'll have to revisit this prediction at a later date.

No one cares that University X hasn't contacted you back yet and that you are freaking out. Once you apply shut up and don't bug your SO, friends and family about all of this.

Expect rejections, and lots of them!

Don't visit this site so much. In hindsight it drove me nuts!!!!!!

Don't shit where you eat...

So, this is an MA/Ph.D track program, you have an admissions letter, and I am assuming you didn't get a bunch of those (none of us did) so you figure this is your one shot to start grad school now?

My question is this: Is it a funded program? No one can keep you anywhere, but if you are receiving funding you might be treading on thin wire. If you left a funded MA/Ph.D. program after obtaining the MA for personal reasons or to move into industry/private sector then you would get away relatively unscathed. A considerate advisor would understand and probably still advocate on your behalf with a LOR, an inconsiderate advisor won't be so kind. However, if you are leaving a funded MA/Ph.D program to head to another Ph.D. program you are doing something that is, in my opinion, in poor taste. But grad school is a job and you need to do you sometimes, right?

If the program isn't funded:
1) Do you want to go into more debt instead of just waiting and trying again?
2) I'd see no problem with leaving if no one is paying you to be there.

Advisors know that life happens for students. I would imagine they hope they could retain all their students, but know in reality some will leave.

Don't shit where you eat...

Don't shit where you eat...

Don't shit where you eat...

"Nice day today?"

"Ya, my husband and I have been waiting for a day like this to do X, Y or Z."

Some guys don't look at the finger for rings. I always forget to do this when I am being flirty. Not because I am a low person, but I just never think to do it. If she's married any normal guy should get the message real fast.

Numbers aside... a lot of this process was about luck.

I might disagree a bit. If getting in is really about "fit" then you're undergraduate research, at least in part, should line up with what you want to do.
Four of the schools I applied to are perfect fits with research I have done in the past, which wasn't the most compelling work in the world. The other 4 I was in the ballpark. So far, in terms of interview invites, if I go with what was posted on the results page. A place where my past research lined up perfect wants to interview me and assured I am a really compelling candidate. Another institution for which I was in the same ballpark didn't extend an interview offer. A second where I was in the ball park interviewed me several times before I submitted an application.

I'm not trying to sound rude, but everyone is posting here with "what are my chances threads" in the midst of a time where most of us who have applied are waiting to see if our applications were good enough to garner interviews, let alone acceptances. In 30-45 days we'll know what was good enough to get in where. Until that time everyone is in the same boat and simply does not know.

Why do people do this? It isn't going to give you a leg up on your competition to remind a POI to look at your resume and credentials. They are swamped, and I can imagine even in semi-productive labs, would rather be doing other things with their time than looking at all of our CVs and SOPs.

I wouldn't email anymore professors.

Why do people do this? It isn't going to give you a leg up on your competition to remind a POI to look at your resume and credentials. They are swamped, and I can imagine even in semi-productive labs, would rather be doing other things with their time than looking at all of our CVs and SOPs.

I wouldn't email anymore professors.

Why do people do this? It isn't going to give you a leg up on your competition to remind a POI to look at your resume and credentials. They are swamped, and I can imagine even in semi-productive labs, would rather be doing other things with their time than looking at all of our CVs and SOPs.

I wouldn't email anymore professors.

Those of you who are offended by curt replies need to develop some thicker skin of you are going to be successful graduate students. Most faculty members are -extremely- busy people and they are dealing with a lot of these types of emails right now. If they sat down and wrote a well thought out reply to everyone that has emailed them wanting to work for them, that would probably be an entire day or more wasted on that process.

Plus, people who are emailing professors right now are indeed being a tad bit annoying. It's totally fine to email a professor to verify that they are a good research fit before applying to the school, but at this point you've already applied and if you are an appropriate fit your application will be reviewed. Emailing potential advisers right now is superfluous and irritating.

Why do people do this? It isn't going to give you a leg up on your competition to remind a POI to look at your resume and credentials. They are swamped, and I can imagine even in semi-productive labs, would rather be doing other things with their time than looking at all of our CVs and SOPs.

I wouldn't email anymore professors.

Why do people do this? It isn't going to give you a leg up on your competition to remind a POI to look at your resume and credentials. They are swamped, and I can imagine even in semi-productive labs, would rather be doing other things with their time than looking at all of our CVs and SOPs.

I wouldn't email anymore professors.

Why do people do this? It isn't going to give you a leg up on your competition to remind a POI to look at your resume and credentials. They are swamped, and I can imagine even in semi-productive labs, would rather be doing other things with their time than looking at all of our CVs and SOPs.

I wouldn't email anymore professors.

I'm not trying to sound rude, but everyone is posting here with "what are my chances threads" in the midst of a time where most of us who have applied are waiting to see if our applications were good enough to garner interviews, let alone acceptances. In 30-45 days we'll know what was good enough to get in where. Until that time everyone is in the same boat and simply does not know.

I will take a different approach with my response. For most everyone this isn't just a feeling you get in academic settings.
I can totally sympathize with you. I was crippled by social anxiety for quite sometime. It is still something I grapple with on a weekly basis. However, what I found worked best for me was just experience. When I go everywhere I walk with my head up and take notice of other people. How do they look at other people? What to they look at? What kind of mood do they look like they are in? I'm just constantly making observations. Why? Observations are conversational points you can use for small talk.

Every time you go out is an opportunity to work on this. I am personally not big on cognitive reappraisal, and the whole just tell yourself positive things. However, I do realize when the monkey chatter in my head arises, and am cognizant of the fact that it needs to be silenced. I mean it though, this is not something that you just fix in academic settings. You need to take a holistic approach. When you are grocery shopping talk to the checkout person. Sure, sometimes you won't want to or you won't know what to say... or you might even think what is the point? However, just make a comment on something you are buying. Ask how there day is going.

Do this everywhere and start small. Maybe just getting to that point is a big deal initially? If it is then work towards keeping a few exchanges going.

Watch people who are real sociable. I was always surprised by these people. They walk in a room and can hold everyone's attention with ease. Often times I'd be baffled by the seemingly insignificance of what they were talking about. But that is by in large what small talk is. It's hard to make friends or meet significant others if all you can do is ramble about nuclear particle physics or whatever.

As far as people in authority positions. They are no different than you in most aspects.


Being sociable is a very powerful tool.