Bopie5

Thank you thank you! It is all really exciting, and getting some good news in the waiting period is such a morale boost that I honestly shouldn't complain. I updated my CV for some fellowships I'm applying to, but I didn't think about maybe sending an updated CV for interview/waitlist...that's a great thought, thank you for the advice!

Oh, I am definitely VERY MUCH PANICKING. All I can think about is my apps. Literally the amount of stress dreams I have had is off the charts. I try to banish it from my minds but I still check my email about every hour (even though I know I won't hear back for a few weeks), log into my app portals about once a week (no idea why I do this), and check the GradCafe every hour or two as well, and often end up reading random threads that have little or nothing to do with anything relevant to me. The worst was when I ended up reading through all of the results in the GradCafe results section for all of my schools going many years back... Also, BIG FRUSTRATION. I'm still in undergrad, I haven't been to any conferences, and the English department at my school doesn't offer any TA positions. But literally in the TWO WEEKS since I've submitted my last app, I've been invited to speak at a conference, had a piece of poetry accepted for publication, AND got a TA essay-grading position in another department. All of this would've strengthened my apps so much ?But it's too late now. Ugh! Guess it helps my CV no matter what, but STILL.

Oh my gosh! The amount of times I’ve gotten that question from various friends and family members. I’m always like “Guys, I’ll be lucky to get into one.”

Ugh this is beyond true. Since it's holiday break, and I don't have as much to do, I've been spending far too much time on here, and I can't tell if it's quelling or exacerbating my nervousness and stress! But it is comforting to know all of you are experiencing some of the same feelings I am, especially since none of my friends are pursuing graduate school right now, and don't totally understand the visceral anxiousness this process can foster.

So true! I mean, between the amazing theorists there (Berlant, Ngai, etc!!!) and the great funding, it's hard for anyone not to have Chicago at or near the top of their list if they are into theory. Getting accepted by them would be a dream. Fingers crossed, but honestly everyone on here is so amazing and intelligent and experienced, and this is only a fraction of the pool. I'm feeling my odds are slim, but here's hoping I can get at least one acceptance from SOMEWHERE.

Haha! I'm sure Baudrillard would have a LOT to say about this. Gun violence is definitely an adjustment if you've never been to the states. It's hard to say what the "benchmark for safety" in the US is, because the US is so big and people have a variety of experiences that lead them to view "safety" differently. Based on your schools and having lived on your own in Paris and London, I honestly think you'll be fine. In my experience (I spent a semester in London, and have spent significant time in Hong Kong, Chicago, San Francisco, and LA), big city safety is relatively the same in the US as other major international cities--hold your bag close to you, don't walk in certain areas alone at night (especially if you're female-identified or female-presenting), choose the well-lit path over the faster one, etc. Gun violence is real and troubling, and one of my less favorite aspects about being American. But part of what makes it scary is its unpredictability--shootings happen in schools, movie theaters, concerts, bars. As scary as this sounds, there's no real "method" you can use to avoid all possibility of gun violence. And to be honest, I haven't been able to get used to it either. I'm not as familiar with international coverage of American gun safety, so I can't speak to exaggeration, but it is horrific and a real problem in the states. However, I don't think it has to discourage you from getting your PhD in the US if that's what you want to do! My impression is that it's similar or equivalent to other "dangerous" areas in big cities. You definitely have to be careful, but in my opinion the discourse around the Southside has definitely, as you said, been manipulated to construct racialized narratives about "urban" areas. People talk a lot about the Southside being "Chi-Raq" or having a huge homicide problem, but when adjusted for population, the homicide rate per capita is actually lower than many other major American cities, including Detroit, Baltimore, Oakland, and even Milwaukee (https://www.forbes.com/sites/niallmccarthy/2017/06/21/is-chicago-really-americas-most-dangerous-city-infographic/#5022763b50da). My opinion is just one opinion, so definitely try to talk to more people and do more research to find out if Chicago would be a good place for you. But in my experience, research, and conversations, the Southside is comparable to many "dangerous" areas in major American cities, and gets a bad rap due to the racist narrative of the Northside being safe, wealthy, good, etc (when what some people really mean is White) and the Southside being violent, dangerous, poverty-stricken, "urban" (when really people mean Black). Unfortunately (as I'm sure you know/experienced in your time in Baltimore), this kind of manipulated racist discourse is both pervasive and deeply rooted. There's a big history of de facto racial segregation in Chicago, only exacerbated by public policy, public opinion, and systemic injustices like redlining and under-funded school districts.

TRUE! I tried to watch the new ones and it’s just not the same. I miss Mary!

This is a good diversion to try to move my brain away from the incessant background noise of waiting for decisions! I like cooking/making up new recipes, writing poetry, yoga, watching the Great British Baking Show, going out with friends, and painting my nails. Although a lot of this has taken a backseat recently to reading critical theory and/or any slightly relevant thread on the GradCafe!

I've heard this same thing a few times, and it's definitely the reputation of the Southside (I grew up in the Chicago area). However, I have some friends who live on Lake Shore Drive and they say that the Hyde Park area around UChicago is improving in terms of safety. The bigger complaint that I've heard is that there isn't much in the way of night life, it's not as accessible to public transportation, and groceries can get kind of expensive. And (this is just my opinion), a lot of the negative rhetoric around the Southside can be racially charged. I'm sure you already know/have researched/thought through all this, but any big city has crime and safe and unsafe areas, and from people I know who live in or near the Hyde Park area, they say it's generally safe if you're careful and especially safe closer to campus, and that there are good fun little shops and restaurants if you know where to look.

I keep having nightmares about my apps. Even though I know they're all in and complete, I keep having incredibly specific stress dreams about missing components, missed deadlines, and/or rejections. I wish my brain would just rest!

Have you looked into UC Davis? I had a phone call with a current PhD student there who emphasized that the department is doing a lot with ecocrit and ecofeminism. And they have a good amount of 20th century American scholars. Margaret Ronda, Elizabeth Miller, and Michael Ziser might be good ones to look in to! And Frances Dolan isn't in your period, but she does some stuff on the history of books and printing and also stuff on agriculture that could send your research in cool directions!

This is how I am too! Honestly I only applied to schools with at least 3-4 POIs that are a good fit for my research, that offer good funding for the PhD program, and are in places that I would want to live. So every school feels like a good fit, and would be a dream! My "top" choice switches between Chicago, Northwestern, Michigan, and Columbia every few weeks, although they're all sort of a reach.

@mandelbulb Is your profile picture from Annihilation!? That was one of my favorite films of the year. Dream program is currently Michigan; I'm really excited by the intersectionality and interdisciplinality of their department. I had a few skype calls with current students/recent grads and they emphasized that the program is rigorous, but has a culture of social/communal learning and collaboration, and that's a really good fit for how I learn and research! Plus, so excited by the work of Valerie Traub, Xiomara Santamarina, and Megan Sweeney. The way Michigan fosters connections between Women's Studies/Gender Studies and English is also a great fit for my interests. Only downside is the weather... If I don't get in, I'm going to take training to become a part time yoga instructor, and then try again on the next cycle. The consoling thought is that I can take six to eight months really pursuing holistic wellbeing, and that I would have more time to bolster my application and CV. I'm not expecting to get in this cycle, so I'm basically taking my backup plan as reality.

Currently, my thesis examines "Disney princess" films from the Disney Renaissance, so The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Pocahontas, and Mulan, with maybe a quick discussion of Beauty and the Beast. The project has been really fun so far--can't really complain about watching favorite childhood movies for research! That's what I did too! Good to know we're in the same boat. Berlant is truly so fascinating. Her cruel optimism work really shook up how I think about how I relate to the world...Can't wait to see what she does next.

Ugh, would've loved too. I had a full courseload this semester + lots of extracurricular activities, and I had to cut my list off at 7 for my own sanity. But WUSTL (alongside York University and UPenn) are on my add list for next cycle if it doesn't work out this time. Oooh, I hope you get published, I would love to read those pieces. Let me know what happens!

@Mumasatus More and more schools are no longer requiring the GRE (general or subject)! Stanford and Harvard also both took it off the requirements. And from the research I've done, SoP, LoRs, and WS are far and away the more important aspects of the app. Best of luck to your daughter!!!

Ah! I just read Topdog/Underdog and Sweat for my Modern and Contemporary Drama course. Such exciting work—I actually missed the chance to see Sweat in LA because my class went the day before a break, and I’m sad to have not seen it.

@beardedlady Same! I've heard lovely things about Half of a Yellow Sun, and am currently on the hunt for a good used copy. Ah wow, that's so exciting! Halberstam is SO inspiring to me--I'm currently writing my senior thesis about "good" and "evil" bodies in Disney films, so of course I've been geeking out over all of his work, especially The Queer Art of Failure! [Digression: I hope I'm using Halberstam's pronoun's correctly, as I know that Halberstam uses both "he" and "she," and as of 2012 identified with gender ambiguity--I used "his" in my SoP once and otherwise just went by last name]. And Berlant too, so fascinating. Also very interested in the work of Ngai and Ruddick at Chicago. Same for me as far as the reach goes though. But who knows what could happen? Maybe we'll see each other at visits (in the ideal world ☺️)!

Big agree here! Little Fires Everywhere is also excellent, but there's something about EINTY that really just immersed me. SUCH love for this book as well! This year, I think my favorite reads were Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho, The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro, and A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. Currently reading The Castle Cross the Magnet Carter by Kia Corthron, The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy, and The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid!

I agree with this. Of my four recommenders for this cycle, three didn't tell me anything about their letters, but one actually sent theirs to me for proofreading! I saw a piece of advice somewhere else on the forum (can't remember where) that said to save all such things (nice emails from profs, students, LoRs, thank you notes, etc) in a folder on your computer, saying that while it may feel self-congratulatory at first, it helps with imposter syndrome, discouragement, and self doubt to have those resources readily accessible and in one place. So @kendalldinniene if you do get to see any of them, make sure you save them!

This is so real. I know rationally I SHOULD put thought/energy/time into my backup plans, but right now I have 2ish vague impulses about what I'll do if I don't get in. I can't really bring myself to do anything more than acknowledge that the possibility exists.

Awesome!

@theologynerd I'm not in this field, but I do have a religious studies coursework background, and I'm an English major who's good at copyediting and proofreading! If you can't find anyone in the field, PM me and send it my way!

I find yoga to be really relaxing both physically and mentally! Also cooking, and doing creative writing. Cooking and yoga are especially good hobbies for me as a busy student; since I have to exercise and eat to be healthy anyway, might as well make it fun and relaxing!

My last LOR writer FINALLY submitted to my last four schools! With that done, all 7 of my apps are officially complete! I've officially, completely done everything in my power to get them in, and it's now totally out of my hands. For now, yay!