AnachronisticPoet

I never said all adcom members at all programs read every single word of every application! I was responding to the suggestion that an abstract might be good because you can never underestimate how little a professor reads—which suggests that people think they're at risk of rejection because professors are skimming.
Also, no one person on the adcom has hundreds of files—they are broken up into packets/sessions and divvied among readers, usually by subfield. Obviously I can't speak to how it works at every institution, but I know people who have been on adcomms at places like UNC Chapel Hill, Duke, NYU, Princeton, Brown, and Oxford (MSt and DPhil). There are one or more initial culls based on any variety of factors (and I'm sure in a lot of cases it doesn't take reading every last word of the sample to know the person isn't a good fit for the program), but, like I said in my previous reply, by the time you get to the first and second rounds, yes, please take it as a given that your application is being read carefully and in full by several people. 
I won't engage in further on this one because really that's my entire take, but I just do not see the point of an abstract for writing samples. If it's an essential component of compiling a polished file for you personally or a helpful structuring element of your style as a scholar and thinker, I'm sure it won't harm your application. But imo, if your introduction doesn't accomplish what an abstract would, something's wrong with your sample.

Just to be clear, schools you apply to will definitely read your writing sample in its entirety—and if you get to the second and third rounds where candidates are narrowed down to 60/~20-30 applicants respectively, many people will read it! I really don't think anyone should be approaching or strategizing for the WS on the assumption or hunch that it won't be read. I'm sorry, that just sounds like a bad faith argument to me.

I’m currently on an airplane and purchased in-flight WiFi just so I can keep checking the Brown application portal and this forum, just putting that out there

My SO is also unwilling to consider relocating--we are both from the west coast and I only applied to schools in the east as I have lived in the same region for 31 years. I'm not particularly interested in the sun or any of the UC schools, but we went to San Diego to visit his family over Christmas and I definitely felt like a moron for not applying to any of the UC's/Stanford! The sun is really cool, Seattle just made me forget that. We both have pretty lovely lives set up here and he isn't down to give up the community and opportunities he has set up for himself here, which I respect. Hell, I already have people waiting in line for my job and apartment! Our plan is to do long-distance until we decide to start a family (probably around the time I enter candidacy), at which point he will have to move. He's a touring musician and goes on east coast tours a couple times a year, so there will be that! I love the idea of catching one of his shows in Brooklyn or Cambridge. Until then, I'm kind of looking forward to long distance?? I love the idea of being physically displaced from my family, SO, and friends and grinding out this first year  immersed in my department and my research.

I'm in the same situation; my SO and I are serious, but he isn't really willing to consider long distance or relocating. However, he's always said that he wants me to make the choice for my career that I need to make, and although I hope we can work something out, he understands that if I get into a program I'm going. This is such a tough field (as we all know) that I always felt like if I turned down an opportunity now, I'd really regret it later on.
Best of luck to you guys ❤️

I'm in the same situation; my SO and I are serious, but he isn't really willing to consider long distance or relocating. However, he's always said that he wants me to make the choice for my career that I need to make, and although I hope we can work something out, he understands that if I get into a program I'm going. This is such a tough field (as we all know) that I always felt like if I turned down an opportunity now, I'd really regret it later on.
Best of luck to you guys ❤️

Sorry if this is too personal, I just want to vent quickly... I'm feeling very conflicted. At the moment, I'm in a 1a/1r/1w/4p situation. Honestly, I'm not upset about it. I'm pleased with the offer I did receive and I wasn't very attached to the school that rejected me or the school that waitlisted me. Like everyone else I've been in a state of constant anxiety, swinging between fear and excitement. I can't stop thinking about Brown (my top choice), but I don't know how to process my feelings about it. It would be amazing if I did get an offer from them, which I absolutely don't expect because they're so prestigious and I'm really not up to that caliber, but I almost....don't want to go? And that's crazy, right? Because it's Brown. Part of me gets so excited about the opportunities waiting there. But another part of me is stuck on the massive change to my personal life that that would bring: I would have to end my relationship, which I really don't want to do. And actually, that would be the case if I chose to go to any of the 4 schools I'm waiting for. All those programs would objectively be better than the one I was accepted into; I feel that if I got a really good offer from any of them I wouldn't be able to refuse. So that makes me feel like I almost don't want any more offers. And that's even crazier.
Of course, I don't know anything yet and I'm just stuck in this spiral of speculation. Anyway, time to go for a walk and not think about this for a while.

Seconding others who have asked if your partner can move with you (either now or in the near future). I think the biggest factor here is how serious your relationship is (and whether or not they're willing to move is potentially a part of that). It's really easy to tell young 20-somethings not to choose love over a career and it's usually good advice. But the situation changes when that person is your life partner (or if you think they might be and have discussed this with them). At that point, it's a situation unlike anything else, really – families remain families even when they only see each other a couple times a year, but relationships don't work that way. A lot of younger people who are applying to programs right now with or without girlfriends/boyfriends will tell you to choose your career over your S/O, but this dynamic becomes much more like asking someone to never see their child again when your S/O is your partner, a part of your family. It becomes a non-option.
I say all of this because I'm totally here with you: the application cycle didn't go well for my partner and I, and the most likely scenario for us now is one of us giving up academia indefinitely unless I manage to get a hold of the uber-competitive funding offered by the two British PhD programs we've been accepted to (spoiler: it's unlikely). And it's been frustrating having certain people on this forum who are rolling in the Best Luck of All Time with their admissions offers give me unsolicited advice based on where they are in their own lives.
I suppose what I want to say is: this is a decision only you can make. What kind of future would you be giving up with your S/O? What is this person to you, and you to them? And, secondarily, how big of a dip in rankings are we talking? There's a big difference between 13 v. 20 and 13 v. 65. We live in a hypercapitalist and careerist country/global society that cons us into believing independence and entrepreneurship at the expense of all else are actually intrinsic human values – but they aren't. If going to a lower-ranked program would open up every other section of your life for you, it sounds like that's right for you. If you think ending this relationship would mean you being sad for a time and then getting on with things, you might need to make the tougher decision. The question really is: what will matter more in the long term?
FWIW, I would kill for my decision to be as simple as choosing a program lower down the rungs. Being faced with no other option but re-applying or giving up the career has really put into perspective what I would have been willing to do if it had been that simple (although a very different decision may be what's right for you). Even still, the decision is a non-decision for me because giving up my family is not an option, but it's such a rough spot to be in.

I find the intersection of early modern drama and race and/or colonialism so captivating! I've mostly read re-imaginations of The Tempest from a colonial perspective, but do you have any suggestions/favorite pieces that really delve into Shakespeare and race theory? I'd love to add it to my reading.

Same goes for me! I'm down to bother any school upon request.

I didn't apply to Brown but if y'all don't want to be a bother for them I will call them later today about when they're releasing their admission results because I have no stock in this fight and have nothing to lose from doing this. (This is admittedly a half-joke but in all honesty if you haven't heard back via email I would call/ask an obnoxious person like myself to call if the thought of that gives you anxiety).

I am going to screenshot this, in case I ever meet anyone that says they don't believe in angels. We are not worthy.
I am debating whether to send out an email today. We know it was going to be another week based on previous posts, and today would mark 1 week. So.... today? Tomorrow? July?

Oof. I had to say something because the conversation here has left a bad taste in my mouth. The academy with its scarcity of jobs is so bleak that it is clearly already getting us down, well before we have even begun our careers in earnest. I hope everyone is taking some time for themselves amidst all the anxiety and despair. Solidarity with all of you, but especially with those who are still waiting to hear at all and/or are unsure about what comes next. I will say what I’ve been told by friends and mentors in the past: rejection is the only constant in the academy and it never lets up, no matter how accomplished one becomes with time. In that sense, it is entirely arbitrary and hardly personal. Additionally, as someone said recently on Twitter, the academy will never love us back. I know I’m speaking from a place of some luck and privilege right now, but just wanted to acknowledge that this is an unequal playing field and the stakes are so high precisely because they’re in fact so low. This isn’t on us, it’s on the austerity that is destroying the humanities. I hope we’re all doing the needful to step back and take care of ourselves. Thinking of all of you, and particularly those who are bearing the brunt of rejection right now. May the tides turn and soon!

someone at harvard said to me i would hear back "very soon" but that was last week and i'm sure "very soon" for a university that was founded in 1636 could be like ... march or something

first response: honestly wouldn't even be mad to be woken up at 11:59pm on the 29th by a call from penn
second response: "text from unknown number (maybe: harvard): hey u up?"

I bartend at a mid-sized music venue which has 2 venues and 5 bars within, so we have a crazy huge staff, lots of security, etc. Last night I was working a [terrible] show, and walked in to balloons, flowers, a bottle of champagne, and a card signed by the whole staff. Two of the touring bands yelled "CONGRATS ON YALE!" because they had been served by an old friend of mine in a town 2 hours away earlier that day, who happened to have told them I had gotten in. Needless to say, I cried in public multiple times yesterday. I've never happy cried this much in my whole life. 
This process is still the worst f*cking thing tho 

Am I the only one sick of seeing the "Girl gets accepted to Harvard" video every time they refresh the main page? Like, good for her, but ffs, her repeated immense joy is like pouring boiling salt water into the wounds of rejection. 
C'mon Brown. We're all here waiting for you. And you too, BU, I'm waiting...

Every email I get today drives me crazy and ends up being like:
 

In at Michigan with a merit fellowship. What.

It feels like it has been February for several years now.

I'm making some chocolate cake and raspberry sauce, because if I have to endure admissions uncertainty on Valentine's Day, I might as well do it while eating good food.

Because apparently I'm using this thing for goddamn therapy: after literally a night spent trying to get myself to come to terms with the fact my partner and I might continue to be long-distance for god knows how long (we've already been very long distance for 5 years, and none of the cities that were options for me are promising for him in terms of a job), I got into Johns Hopkins, which is the city where he's living right now. This is not going to be the deciding factor - I'd be happy and honored to go to any school I applied to, and thankfully he and I are very much on the same page of suffering some of this to make our dreams come true, and he might need to move anyway given that he needs to pursue his work as well, but goddamn, it is so nice to have an actual option. Lots of solidarity to everyone in a similar position. It sucks.

I am likely going to be doing the opposite switch as my undergrad institution operated on a quarter system and the programs I am considering operate on semesters, but I do know that whenever my professors have lamented the quarter system, it has often been due to the fact that although students have the opportunity to experience an extra course in an academic year, you don't get as much time to marinate with the material, desired texts for the curriculum get omitted because of insufficient time, etc. In WA, the majority of the public post-secondary schools in the state operate on the quarter system, so I haven't actually experienced a semester system since high school. I think I'm looking forward to it? I have been craving more time to dwell with course material, but another benefit of the quarter system is that when I have registered for a course I wish would be over already, the class is probably pretty close to its conclusion by the time I arrive at mine. 

Okay, but are you as excited about this A24/BRON adaptation of Sir Gawain and The Green Knight—with DEV PATEL!!! as Gawain—as I am???

I've just humiliated myself by snorting loudly in a public place.  Thanks for sharing!