Overtherainbow

Ahh life is good for super good looking females with a high GPA:)

Are you guys in the sciences? What about the humanities? In stuff like Literature, especially, I imagine few internationals are around (except for icky brits), so perhaps the divide is not so stark, what with diversity and all that.

There are two issues around levels of funding less than 100%.

You are right that there can be quite a variance of the sticker price of MA programs at different institutions and in different countries. No matter if a school is giving you a 95% scholarship or no scholarship, what you should really be considering is your out-of-pocket cost. When I was looking at MS programs (many years ago), the school that "gave me the most money" ("oh wow!" I thought, "look at that GIGANTIC scholarship they're offering me!") also happened to be a private institution with very high tuition in an expensive city. My out of pocket cost would still have been around $20K/year. At a comparable program in a public university, I was also given a scholarship, but for quite a smaller amount. My total yearly cost at that school would have been $5K. This is a big difference, especially over a 2 year program. Even if I had been an unfunded student at this second school, my annual out of pocket cost would have been much less than with the large scholarship at the private university. So, at one level, you should really not be comparing the level of funding, per se, but the final net expense.

There is another issue with going to a program un-funded. Many programs that have un-funded MA students also have funded MA students (or at least students who were given some partial funding). I know that this is the case at both BU and Oxford. This means that if you attend the school as an unfunded student, you're literally at the bottom of the totem pole. Faculty and administration will take note of this. Not to be too blunt about it, but you're there as the student who they didn't really want, at least not enough to give money to. It can create an unfair and uncomfortable hierarchy, and academic bad blood. I ended up attending a master's program where most students were generously funded, but almost none at the level of 100%. On several occasions I heard professors remark about specific students what a bad decision they had made to attend the program un-funded. These remarks were certainly inappropriate. But, seeing how these students continue to struggle under the burden of large loan obligations, I have to agree.

I've recently had good luck scouring my uni's off-campus housing page. It's not only for actual university grad housing (although that kind of stuff is there too)--it also has a lot of houses for rent and for sale by private people who have typically rented to my uni's students, post docs, and professors. Maybe your uni has one of these, too?

I browsed and sent out maybe 30 emails over the course of a few weeks, narrowed things down from there, and found one place I really liked. Then I asked a current grad student who's already in the area (and who I have met in person) to please check out the showing for me and take some pictures (so I could rest assured that the pictures the house owner showed me were not fakes, etc.), asked for the contact information of the current tenants (to check in about stuff like the condition of the house, the general M.O. of the house's owner as a landlord, the safety of the area), did a little search on the house's owner and the names of the tenants (to make sure they're real humans), double-checked that the house's owner is REALLY the house's owner (to avoid getting stuck in a foreclosure scam or a similar situation), had several phone conversations with the house's owner, and then took the plunge and snagged it.

I'm coupled with pets and furniture, too, so I really wasn't keen on the couch surfing or motel hanging ideas. If it'd come to that, I'd've gone a week ahead of the brood so it would just be me doing the surfing, not me + partner + dog + cats (which would = disaster). Also, the rental market of the area around my uni is kind of helter-skelter--good places come and go very quickly, especially for start dates around Aug./Sept.--and I would not have been able to afford short-notice plane tickets.

It can be dicey to do things the way I did--I've heard horror stories of renting sight-unseen. I think the key is to do the legwork from afar as best as you possibly can and have a person who is already in the area scope it out for you: in other words, make it as not-sight-unseen as earthly possible. There's no way I would have done things this way if I hadn't known a flesh-and-blood person who was willing and able to go see the other flesh-and-blood people involved.

And many things about the house's owner put me at ease, too, which helped: for one, she was definitely interested in checking me and my partner out thoroughly to make sure WE weren't scamming HER. If she was too eager to rent to us right off the bat, I'd've been worried. Never once did she ask for a piece of my information that I felt was intrusive or susceptible to leading to identity theft, and she wasn't eager to get me to send her a check for anything. She conducted things in a very open-book way and gave me plenty of information about herself (all of which I was able to confirm on my end). On top of it all, the friend I asked to scope out the place said that she herself would have loved to live there (we have pretty similar taste), and she already lives very close by so was able to give me the skinny on the area. I was also able to verify that the house I'm renting has had only a few tenants in the last decade or so: people seemed, in other words, to rent it very quickly and then stay for a very long time (the current tenants lived there for three years and only decided to move because they had to leave the state). I should mention also that she used a verifiable service with a good BBB reputation--Tenant Verification Services, which landlords actually have to register to use--to screen me: the application she sent me to peruse before I'd even decided I wanted the place came directly from TVS (it wasn't just a form made up in MSWord or anything).

Good luck!

Hyperbole, dear . I don't think failing to date in grad school would preclude me from having a relationship for the next 20 years either! Like, I was trying to make the point that either extreme may be troublesome.

That being said, there are certain fields where you only see people in your program. So I don't know if dating outside your department is a realistic option for everyone . . . .

Yes, you do not need a NetID to use Off Campus Housing office resources, e.g. subscribe to the OFSIL listserv.
Not sure how useful that is: not much seems to be happening on the listserv lately.

Well legally you are obligated to go to the school. You need to email and ask for your release and most likely they will grant it. They could go after you if you just don't show up for the first year of tuition but I highly doubt they would

I cried for an hour after I made my decision today.
I'm not sure what those tears were from? Relief? Sadness? Regret?
I still don't know if I made the right decision, but at least I made a decision.

Has anyone else cried like that?

I think it was because I was picking between somewhere I really preferred/wanted to go to and a school that I knew I would be stupid to reject. In the end the one I picked was the safer choice. I guess in this case I went with my head rather my heart. I wish I could have been more brave...but what's done is done, and I'm starting my PhD next year

Email them hourly until you get a response. This is too important to be left to the dustbin or personal biography or oral history.

@glf212 It is on you to prove that you did not start this thread so that you can thump your chest while many of your peers are in misery. It is up to you to make things right.

I think getting a debriefing from BU and posting the useful information from that conversation will be a wise move for you at this point and time.

@verdigris: Will do! I hope you have good options to choose from!

@strangertimes: Sadly, for me, CIR is my only choice. I wish I had such good range of options like you. At this point, I'd kill for SAIS (even though I got cocky and only applied to PhD). Bad PhD cycle . This is more like an arranged marriage and going to see the suitor for the first time. But from what I hear, CIR is very strong academically and is good for PhD prep program. It's unlike any other terminal master's out there since it's a lot less policy oriented. Also, Robert Pape and John Mearsheimer are to me as Justin Beiber and Ryan Gosling are to girls. And Chicago is the only terminal MA that I found to give any substantial funding! I come from super poor family, hence my name. And uh... it's short and flexible! I plan to reapply to lots of PhD again next cycle, but if that still doesn't fall through (according to my concerns) then there is option for 2nd year specialization! Or I can do a joint program with Harris! Finally, I love Chicago as a city!

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that you are being compared to your peers, and essentially being judged on your abilities. As much as the schools try to reassure you in rejection letters that there were "lots of well-qualified applicants" and they had to "turn away many qualified people due to the number of limited spots," it still FEELS like there's an implication that as well-qualified as you might have been, you weren't qualified ENOUGH, and these feelings can haunt you. It's tough being compared with your peers. As subjective as these decisions often become, it hurts, because this is your life, and YOU believe that you are qualified, and you only wish that schools would see it the same way.

Also, I think there is a trend where people who apply to graduate school are used to being the smartest in their class, to doing well, and to having their motivation and hard work pay off. The problem is that when you apply to graduate programs, you're applying against all the other people who were the smartest in THEIR classes, who had THEIR hard work and determination pay off, and then you get confused people asking you, "How could you possibly not get in? You were so smart! You were the best in your class!" Yeah... So was everyone else that applied. I can bet you money that nearly every student that applied to my desired programs wanted to get in as much as I did, and cried as much as I did when they got their rejections, and celebrated as much as I did when their acceptances came. As much as I consider them to be rivals, they are just like me in that regard, and it's probably very difficult for adcoms to choose between so many candidates who want to be at their school so very, very badly.

I think those aspects of the process make it maddening, even to those who originally had the attitude of che sarà, sarà. Even so, I'm a firm believer in persistence, and I think if you can get through the process (which may take more than once, even for candidates who would be WONDERFUL in graduate school), there will be an amazing payoff once you finally get in.

Its been a long road, but that magical month is finally here: April. These are truly the times that try men's souls. Some of us will be accepted off the waitlist. Others will face grimmer fates. But we will all make it through and face April 15th, together.

How we doin, folks?

THANK YOU.

It took me a while to get past this and convince myself that I had to ignore those people. Their motivations are different than mine. To them, not getting tenure would be failure. To them, teaching in community college would be a disgrace. Listening to them, I kept putting off applying to the kinds of programs I wanted to. The fact that I kept nonetheless thinking about it year after year made me realize that I HAD to pursue my academic interests. Ironic that being poor made me more able to say "I DON'T CARE" that getting a PhD in some interdisciplinary program might make me unlikely to get a good professorial position later. I'm doing it because I want to, not because it's convenient or easy. ---Just like the rest of what I've done.

The way I see it, the less financially self-sustaining academia becomes, the more likely it'll start to weed out those people who are only in it for the status/money. The true thinkers and hardworkers would be left.


Thanks to all who've posted in here for their motivating words and stories. Good luck to you all in all your endeavors.

Too funny, colleges use template rejection letters no matter who you are. Treat them with the same consideration. Create one email and send it to all your rejects. Many of us are on the receiving end of these letters and sure would like to send some.

Hey guys, I know this is very random, but for some reason I love writing poems like this. It helps me relax when I am stressed, i decided to post this one on here. I know its not grammatically perfect, i just wrote it one night when I couldn't sleep lol....anyways I am curious to know what you guys think. (of the content not the grammar lol)



The Life Of A Grad School Applicant




I had only one thought,



when I woke up today,



'Will the letter come?



and what will it say?"




As I walked to the kitchen,



I heard my roomate say,



"has any good news,



come your way?"




I answered "no",



with a heavy heart,



and got ready for another,



long day to start.




In my frist class, phonolgy,



I tried my very best,



but worrying about grad school,



just won't give my mind a rest.




After class my teacher,



who wrote me many a reference letter,



told me to just relax and belive,



that my life would get better.




Next, I went to the library,



thought I'd do some research there,



but all I really did was worry,



this waiting just isn't fair.




My worrying was interupted by,



a call from my boyfriend,



who told me what ever happend,



he'd still be there in the end.




After a while I couldn't take it,



so I won't home to run,



releasing my stress on the pavement,



was acutally kind of fun.




The moment I returned,



my parents gave me a call,



to ask if I heard good news,



as I said 'no' my hopes continued to fall.




My mom's next question was,



"Well when will you know?,"



As I said "I don't know,"



my frusteration was starting to show.




I hung up the phone,



and tried to do some homework,



it took all the energy I had just,



to read my text book.




I check my e-mail probably,



fifty times a day,



I really hate this uncertainty,



running my life this way.




A little latter at my boyfriends,



my stress level made me cry,



and I honestly cannot,



even explain why.




He made me feel a whole lot better,



and after a while,



I relaxed a litte,



and acutally had a smile.




Finally I went to bed, despert for sleep,



but worrying stood in my way,



I rested as much as I could,



before the next stressful day.

Just a friendly tip here: I wouldn't get into it with Penelope. If you look back through old posts you will discover that not only is she one of the most well informed people on this board, she is also an active participant and an important resource. You can do it if you want, but ....

Well I was speaking from actual statistics that were gathered on behalf of the Canadian government through Statistics Canada. Where did you say you got your information from??

I got into my dream school with full funding (visited, absolutely loved it, wonderful fit) so I started to reject my other offers. Maybe I'm a wimp, but I found it kind of heartbreaking. Many of the professors at these schools reached out to me personally and it was difficult having to tell them that I'm going elsewhere. Also, hitting that "send" button on the email or clicking "decline" on the website sent a panic attack and a wave of neurotic fears - what if, in the time it takes to decline my offers and accept the dream school's offer, they decide there's been some horrible mistake and they don't want me anymore? Guess I'd better get on accepting dream school's offer pronto - cold feet isn't as much of an option anymore.

I don't know if anyone is still on this thread, but I found it SUPER helpful. I rejected some programs last night and accepted my top choice. A couple of rejections were sent in personal e-mails to POI's who had been recruiting me and had been super friendly, eager, and welcoming. I tried to make sure they knew I really hated not being able to work with them. Because I really wish I could go to all of these programs! I am avoiding my inbox like the plague because I feel horrible. Even though I know they won't be nearly as emotional about it as I am... I'm feeling extremely anxious about this all even though my choice is at a top school that is a great match for me. Anyone around who can relate??? (I know this is a good problem to have... I still will feel rotten for a couple of days though)

no problem .... this is political science ... we can fudge our numbers as long as we can give a good reason and explanation behind it .... I keed I keed before anyone gets upset

I totally get it if you don't want to take meds. But as far as drinking goes, (1) I doubt your supervisor is going to order wine if he invited you for coffee [where are you going to meet him?], and (2) you certainly don't have to drink if you don't want to drink. A simple, "thanks, but I'll only have coffee. I don't drink alcohol." is enough. Some people just don't drink alcohol. I don't. And I certainly wouldn't drink just because my advisor drinks. So far (6 years, 3 of which during my undergrad) he never seemed to care what I drink or don't drink.


Many grad students are socially awkward!

Seriously, I'm sure you'll be okay. If your supervisor invited you for a coffee, he's probably a nice and understanding guy, and chatty enough to keep the conversation going. He's also likely to have a full bag of questions that he usually asks new students, in which case he's experienced enough to avoid awkward quiet moments. Awkward silences are awkward for both of you, and from what you've written about your supervisor, he probably has better skills to get both of you out of them.

Agreed. Thankfully that's not what I said. . .at all.

There is no negative tone. It is simply me not shining you on; you asked for opinions, I gave you one which you reject out of hand which lead me to conclude you don't actually want opinions just validation for a decision you have already made. Nature of the beast.



I amended my recommendation to be more in line what you were seeking. . .did you not see?

Exactly. Perhaps people want to over complicate things because it is a big step in their life, and each action demands some grand gesture. Unless you're an exceptional candidate and the department went out of their way to recruit you (read: did they do anything they didn't do, or wont do again, to another candidate) a simple email suffices.

But hey I'm sure someone will come along and tell the OP what they want to hear: personalized hand written cards (perhaps scented) expressing deepest regrets and the hope that this doesn't completely shatter their graduate program.

OK. I'm in the second semester of my MA and am really being tossed about with emotions and such. There are a few things going on, so please bear with me as they are all important factors in the decision I need to make. Said decision is described in the title; I don't feel like I can finish my MA where I'm at, so I need to make a decision.

Problem 1: My husband is a manipulative, emotionally abusive jerk. He will soon be my ex-husband but I am still working out the strategy to make my exit. (Financials and such) So for now, and for the foreseeable future, I will still be with this person--the situation dictates that I cannot even tell him of my intent until the last possible moment. Since I have started grad school, he has gone out of his way to make life outside the classroom as insanely difficult as possible. I won't go into boring details, but I will say that in order to keep some semblance of peace in our house I find that I put aside my work entirely too often in order to keep him somewhat happy. As a result, I'm forced on a regular basis (about 2x/week) to pull all-nighters. I have a mental health disorder. Going without sleep is VERY detrimental to my stability, as is this emotional abuse he's been putting me through. (There's more that I don't care to discuss) My decision is made, like I said above, but I just needed to vent. Sorry.

Problem 2: I am at the same school that granted my BA, because Husband of the Millenium would only allow me to apply to two schools of his choosing. He is NOT an historian or classicist. Since the Ancient History faculty at my school number exactly 3, you can imagine the course selection is...not awesome. At all. Last semester I couldn't even take a class with my mentor because it was a course I took as an undergrad. This spring he didn't teach a seminar, and will not be teaching at all in the fall. He is highly resistant to directed reading courses. So 3 semesters without working with my mentor at all. I'm getting really discouraged by this. To compound matters, I need a strong base in Classical languages so I can move on to the next level. Our school is horribly weak in Classics; I'm already forced to do directed study credits for my Greek, and will have to do the same for Latin in the fall. To be fair, the Classics department is bending over backward to give me these hours, but that just means half of my future SOP will be spent explaining them.

Problem 3: This one is really whiny but rather telling of the atmosphere I'm dealing with at school on top of that at home. I get absolutely no attention whatsoever from our faculty, where the other student in my specific cohort (who also got his BA here but I didn't know him before now) has professors falling over themselves to help him. These are professors whom I know well, they know me well, and we've always gotten along wonderfully (like bringing-souvenirs-back-from-vacation wonderfully) but as soon as they accepted me into the MA program last spring, they barely speak to me. It's like night and day, and my feelings are terribly hurt by this sudden change in treatment. What feedback I do manage to wring out of them is barely helpful, highly critical, and really doesn't help me improve. In short, they have their favorite and I have been cast aside. Am I jealous? Yes. I'm adult enough to admit that. But is it a situation that can easily be prevented/fixed by the faculty? Absolutely.
-------------------
I brought some of the home issues to the attention of our Roman historian, as she went through a nasty divorce a couple of years ago. I thought she might provide insight into the process. Nope. She started to (and is still trying to) talk me into dropping her course, yet still doing all of the work and coming to all of the classes, in order to gain a not-quite-guaranteed spot in her fall seminar. That would be, by the way, the only history course in my period offered this fall for grad students, so it would either be that course (which I have no guarantee of getting a spot in) or not taking a history course at all, which puts me in big trouble administratively as we have to take at least 4 credits in history coursework each semester. I don't really get why she wants me to drop so badly, because by her own admission I've done well on everything assigned. As for wanting me to have more time to get the home stuff straight...since she would still expect me to come to class and do all the work if I hope to get into the fall seminar, how the hell is that giving me time to deal with the personal stuff if I stay in the rest of my classes? *shrugs*

So...the department has barely any coursework for my period (that I didn't take as an undergrad), the Classics dept. is anemic at best, the faculty have basically forgotten that I exist, and I'm on the verge of being single for the first time in 10 years so I'm gonna be moving somewhere. On top of this, I have clearly missed the application deadlines for Fall 2012, drawing out the drama further.
Would you:
1) suck it up and finish the MA here, kicking as much ass as you can in an effort to stick it to those profs who are ignoring you;
2) take the bare minimum coursework until I can transfer (knowing full well that I might not get in anywhere for Fall 2013 and be forced to finish here anyway since that many credits won't transfer);
3) withdraw from the semester completely while I still can in order to focus on the personal, or;
4) just quit altogether?
I love my field, but I'm so discouraged and frustrated in every single aspect of life right now that I don't know what to do. It's gotten slightly better since I made my decision regarding my marriage, even though I have to stick it out for a bit longer, because mentally I've made the break and have kind of compartmentalized that distraction. At the end of the day, I kind of feel like this school was a mistake and it's hurting my potential. I feel unappreciated and unwanted, which isn't helping. But would putting myself in a brand new situation, new city, new school, new faculty, new cohort really help or should I try to salvage what relationship I might still have with the faculty here? Perhaps the bigger question should be: should I say anything at all to the profs? Should I confront them about the perceived preferential treatment issue? Should I even broach the subject of transferring to another school? Those are things I did NOT discuss with the prof when I told her about the marital issues.

Sorry this is so long. I just have nobody to talk to that can even remotely begin to understand what is swirling around in my mind and soul right now. Anyway, any and all advice is appreciated. Thanks for reading, let me know how much the bill is for the lasik to fix your eyes. LOL