Anyone else losing their damn mind?

[amlobo]

So, my most recent freak-outs have been about the "negatives" of getting into a program.  Perhaps this is my way of preparing for rejection, who knows.  Lol.  I am kind of fixated on the idea that I will have to keep coming to work, even if I get into a program.  I am the higher earning spouse, and we need my income for as long as I can get it, so I will have to work until the last possible second before starting any (hypothetical) program.  I wish it was like "I'm in!  Quit my job!  Poof!"  Ha!    Other negative:  telling my parents.  This one I'm *really* freaking out about.  Yes, I'm an adult who has been independent for many years... but I am still terrified of my mother's reaction to me moving away.  I am bordering on panic attacks thinking about how I am going to tell her!  I am anticipating a lecture or crying... or probably both.  

[Azarashi1]

I feel like crap and kind of like a failure:(

[Bearcat1]

So, my most recent freak-outs have been about the "negatives" of getting into a program.  Perhaps this is my way of preparing for rejection, who knows.  Lol.  I am kind of fixated on the idea that I will have to keep coming to work, even if I get into a program.  I am the higher earning spouse, and we need my income for as long as I can get it, so I will have to work until the last possible second before starting any (hypothetical) program.  I wish it was like "I'm in!  Quit my job!  Poof!"  Ha!    Other negative:  telling my parents.  This one I'm *really* freaking out about.  Yes, I'm an adult who has been independent for many years... but I am still terrified of my mother's reaction to me moving away.  I am bordering on panic attacks thinking about how I am going to tell her!  I am anticipating a lecture or crying... or probably both.  

I'm so sorry. I wish I had something super awesome to say that would make you feel better. My mom already knows, although I know there will be tears when (if) it actually happens. And she doesn't get it AT ALL so there's no hope of her being proud of me, sucking it up and putting on a brave face so I don't feel bad. So I kind of know where you're coming from, but the added stress doesn't help. Hang in there, friend!

[amlobo]

I'm so sorry. I wish I had something super awesome to say that would make you feel better. My mom already knows, although I know there will be tears when (if) it actually happens. And she doesn't get it AT ALL so there's no hope of her being proud of me, sucking it up and putting on a brave face so I don't feel bad. So I kind of know where you're coming from, but the added stress doesn't help. Hang in there, friend!

 

Yeah, my mom won't "get it" either.  But, my whole plan was to avoid telling her if I didn't get in anywhere... and if I did get in anywhere, be able to tell her the ranking and funding of the school in the initial conversation, ha.  Hoping that will head off part of the lecture about avoiding the "real world" (even though I've been working for almost 4 years) and abandoning my family and whatnot.  I also thought of setting it up to where it sounds like I'm getting divorced, then it will sound way better when I instead say I'm moving away and going back to school!  Awful, lol!

[Bearcat1]

Yeah, my mom won't "get it" either.  But, my whole plan was to avoid telling her if I didn't get in anywhere... and if I did get in anywhere, be able to tell her the ranking and funding of the school in the initial conversation, ha.  Hoping that will head off part of the lecture about avoiding the "real world" (even though I've been working for almost 4 years) and abandoning my family and whatnot.  I also thought of setting it up to where it sounds like I'm getting divorced, then it will sound way better when I instead say I'm moving away and going back to school!  Awful, lol!

Ah, I used that trick in high school when I got a speeding ticket. I alluded to being pregnant, then assured her it was only a ticket. Did NOT work out as I'd planned.   But I hope your conversation goes better than that did!

[alf10087]

I know this waiting process is a roller-coaster, but I'm wondering, how have you dealt with the pessimism batches?

 

I'm going through one right now, and I'm basically thinking about just giving up on the wait and start making different plans for my life, other than just waiting for the inevitable rejections.

[Bearcat1]

I know this waiting process is a roller-coaster, but I'm wondering, how have you dealt with the pessimism batches?

 

I'm going through one right now, and I'm basically thinking about just giving up on the wait and start making different plans for my life, other than just waiting for the inevitable rejections.

While I'm feeling pessimistic, I'm too depressed to make plans, and then I'll have an "I can do anything!" day and feel better. Maybe make other plans (but don't actually do anything) just so you have something to fall back on? 

[gazerrant]

I wasn't freaking out until today, when I saw that at least one of the programs I've applied to sent out a bunch of acceptance emails late last week. Needless to say, I didn't receive one.

[alf10087]

While I'm feeling pessimistic, I'm too depressed to make plans, and then I'll have an "I can do anything!" day and feel better. Maybe make other plans (but don't actually do anything) just so you have something to fall back on? 

 

I've kind of been there. I have already laid out three different plans: opening a restaurant, matriculating an MBA in a local school, and buying a small piece of land with my grad school savings and having a quite life as a farmer

Edited January 14, 2013 by alf10087

[Tabes]

My meltdown plans usually involve becoming a muppeteer.

[Bearcat1]

I've kind of been there. I have already laid out three different plans: opening a restaurant, matriculating an MBA in a local school, and buying a small piece of land with my grad school savings and having a quite life as a farmer

I think you could combine the first and third of those and have an amazing local/organic restaurant!

[Vincenzo]

My meltdown plans usually involve becoming a muppeteer.

 

You just made me bust out laughing in the library. People looked and I went, "What? [shrug]." 

[alf10087]

You just made me bust out laughing in the library. People looked and I went, "What? [shrug]." 

 

Same here.

[amlobo]

Ah, I used that trick in high school when I got a speeding ticket. I alluded to being pregnant, then assured her it was only a ticket. Did NOT work out as I'd planned.   But I hope your conversation goes better than that did!

 

LOL.  Ok, I feel less evil knowing someone else has used this same bait and switch tactic, hehe.  I also have considered opening with an explanation of how I was planning to stay home for a few years when I had kid(s) anyway (in 3-4 years), and explain that this way I will be getting funding and a degree when I do so.  Ha!  "Mom, the good news is, you will still have grandchildren one day.  The bad news is, you will be over 1000 miles away."  Guess I should work on that...

[RubyBright]

My meltdown plans usually involve becoming a muppeteer.

 

I alternate between moving to Idaho and becoming a potato farmer, and moving to some cute little town and opening a boutique. 

[Tabes]

You just made me bust out laughing in the library. People looked and I went, "What? [shrug]." 

 

It was really bad around midterms last semester.  She walked in on me making shadow muppets on the wall.  Turns out when she melts down, she says "screw it, I am going to watch anime until I die", so we mupeteered while watching Fullmetal Alchemist until the insanity passed.

[Lilac13]

I just saw an email pop up on my phone from the Harvard Graduate School of Education and I nearly had a heart attack (even though I know decisions aren't expected to come out until Feb/March). I opened up the message and it was just a reminder to submit my financial aid application. Thanks HGSE for nearly sending me to the hospital lol.

[Willows]

Keeping things neurotic today by using Mapquest to determine which schools I can advertise to my parents as "not really moving that far away." 

 

If it's 10 hours or less from their house, it moves to the "you can drive that in a day! it's not that far! we aren't really moving!" list.

Edited January 14, 2013 by Willows

[PhDhopeful2013]

i've had to get a few books via EZBorrow recently.  the library sends an automated message at every step of the process for each book (order placed, order shipping, order received...)  Every single time i see the auto-email come through my heart stops for a sec because I think it's an application-related auto-email...  yes, i am in fact losing my mind!!

Edited January 14, 2013 by PhDhopeful2013

[alf10087]

OMG I just received an e-mail as a semi-finalist for a fellowship !

 

It probably doesn't mean a lot, but it's definitely the breath of fresh air I needed.

[nohika]

I just got my second acceptance today...they don't know whether or not they can offer me an assistantship, but I'm still feeling shocked about having two acceptances so far. In theory I'll know from the other two I applied to in mid-Feb (well, an interview for one of them, anyways), although the non-interviewing-one I could literally hear as late as April.

 

While I love the MA/PhD that accepted me, a 25% assistantship (just for the first year) wouldn't cover everything I need it to and I'd be really worried about funding...so I'm hoping that either gets upped or I get full funding at one of the other two schools. I'm guessing because of my bad academic history they want to make sure I can handle the academic load of graduate school before fully funding me.

 

I wish an acceptance was the end of the road, but now I have plenty more to worry about.

[ion_exchanger]

I just got my second acceptance today...they don't know whether or not they can offer me an assistantship, but I'm still feeling shocked about having two acceptances so far. In theory I'll know from the other two I applied to in mid-Feb (well, an interview for one of them, anyways), although the non-interviewing-one I could literally hear as late as April.

 

While I love the MA/PhD that accepted me, a 25% assistantship (just for the first year) wouldn't cover everything I need it to and I'd be really worried about funding...so I'm hoping that either gets upped or I get full funding at one of the other two schools. I'm guessing because of my bad academic history they want to make sure I can handle the academic load of graduate school before fully funding me.

 

I wish an acceptance was the end of the road, but now I have plenty more to worry about.

 

Congratulations!!! You are on a roll!!

[musichistorygeek]

It's a really slow day at work, so I keep checking my statuses (and the results page here). I'm freaking out and convinced I must have made errors in my applications that will result in rejection...and based on past years I'm at least two full weeks away from hearing back on anything. 

[LMac]

Congrats nohika and alf0087!

[EdYouKateOr]

It's a really slow day at work, so I keep checking my statuses (and the results page here). I'm freaking out and convinced I must have made errors in my applications that will result in rejection...and based on past years I'm at least two full weeks away from hearing back on anything. 

I've been reading old posts in the App forums (all which I wish I would have read before I applied!!!-ugh) and am worried that my SOP was totally off and my LORs may not be strong enough!!! And that I should have retaken my GREs. All of a sudden I'm doubting every aspect of my app!!!