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Anyone else losing their damn mind?


gradorbust

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I really want to call South Carolina and say "PLEASE! I am going out of my mind!" But I don't think sounding like a derranged prospective student will help...

 

Ha ha!  If I could call anonymously somehow, I would do it in a heartbeat!  But as I'd be in danger of revealing exactly how insane I've become, I think I'll try to resist, as well... :D

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Ha ha!  You've discovered the secret of my powers, sansao!  I would be nothing without my Nutella (and coffee!). :D

 

Mmmmmmm.   I think I'm going to have to go to the crepe place tonight.

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I just dunno how to wait it out till around mid feb :(

 

Honestly I don't know either.  I didn't feel much anxiety until about 2 weeks ago and now it's getting unbearable. This feels like being a little kid on the night before Christmas and time just slows down to a crawl, only over several weeks instead of one evening.

 

I'm going to owe all of my co-workers, family, and friends big time by the end of this.  But in the meantime I'll try to keep my head from exploding 9 times a day when they ask if I have any news yet/reassure me I will get in *everywhere.*  Sigh.  I know they mean well.

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Honestly I don't know either. I didn't feel much anxiety until about 2 weeks ago and now it's getting unbearable. This feels like being a little kid on the night before Christmas and time just slows down to a crawl, only over several weeks instead of one evening.

I'm going to owe all of my co-workers, family, and friends big time by the end of this. But in the meantime I'll try to keep my head from exploding 9 times a day when they ask if I have any news yet/reassure me I will get in *everywhere.* Sigh. I know they mean well.

Your Christmas analogy is perfect. It's almost physically painful.

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Except you know you will get something on Christmas. There is guaranteed to be at least something under the tree. But now? It's like waiting for that gift you've been begging Santa to get for months. And if its not there... There's nothing. Lol.

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Not to mention that with Christmas, you know exactly when you'll find out: on Christmas morning. With this, you're stuck with this insanely long waiting period and you could find out at any time, so you keep obsessively checking. 

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My poor best guy friend...he's stressed about exams (we're just finishing up first semester here in the UK) and I'm stressed about grad school letters. Of course, I'm trying to be all calm and collected about it but then when he cancelled a meeting to get some more studying in for his law final I lost it. His advice?

"A minute of grumpy Ann takes sixty seconds away from happy Ann."

^^ This is why I'm happy he's coming with our trip to London because honestly he'll be the only one to be able to talk me back into reality if I get a rejection while I'm at conference.

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Except you know you will get something on Christmas. There is guaranteed to be at least something under the tree. But now? It's like waiting for that gift you've been begging Santa to get for months. And if its not there... There's nothing. Lol.

 

Yes, excellent point.  Which makes the anxiety so much worse.  Not to mention the fact that nobody I know can understand why I'm so stressed about this.

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Except you know you will get something on Christmas. There is guaranteed to be at least something under the tree. But now? It's like waiting for that gift you've been begging Santa to get for months. And if its not there... There's nothing. Lol.

 

 

Not to mention that with Christmas, you know exactly when you'll find out: on Christmas morning. With this, you're stuck with this insanely long waiting period and you could find out at any time, so you keep obsessively checking. 

 

So true. The Christmas anxiety has an actual deadline.

 

Yes, excellent point.  Which makes the anxiety so much worse.  Not to mention the fact that nobody I know can understand why I'm so stressed about this.

No, no one does. And I get the feeling a lot of my friends are starting to roll their eyes at me behind my back because they think I'm overreacting.

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 No, no one does. And I get the feeling a lot of my friends are starting to roll their eyes at me behind my back because they think I'm overreacting.

 

A lot of my friends are taking a year off before applying, so whenever anyone starts rolling their eyes about my whiny freakouts, I'm too happy to remind them that they will be in my shoes next year and I will remember every eyeroll when they come to me for sympathy. 

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One of my applications' status is "App Forwarded for Review" and even though the deadline isn't until Feb 15 I am TERRIFIED of this status! I guess I get almost a month to panic?? I also hope they don't actually read it until my last reference is in (they require 2, I have 3, and the outstanding one is my strongest one...). Ugh, I guess I am `losing my damn mind.'

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Wow, good news all around :D Congratulations people!   Meanwhile, terrible headache, terrible stomachache, and terrible feelings of being grad school unworthy today. Was I really thinking I'd get accepted anywhere? Really?
Well, it is a holiday...
Ha ha!  You've discovered the secret of my powers, sansao!  I would be nothing without my Nutella (and coffee!). :D
Coffee represents the crux of my powers (unless you count the ability to control my lazy eye - I so wish I were joking, lol).
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Does anyone else feel sharp pangs of anxiety every five minutes when the thought, "WHY did I ONLY apply to super competitive programs? Did I really think I could get into any of those places?" passes through your mind?

 

Interviewed 3 places before applying because the PIs knew my UG thesis advisor and were available when I emailed at beginning of semester.  Haven't heard anything since and I'm getting very, very worried...maybe my app was garbage, destroying all good will from academic nepotism.  Please lord, no.

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Except you know you will get something on Christmas. There is guaranteed to be at least something under the tree. But now? It's like waiting for that gift you've been begging Santa to get for months. And if its not there... There's nothing. Lol.

 

Not to mention that with Christmas, you know exactly when you'll find out: on Christmas morning. With this, you're stuck with this insanely long waiting period and you could find out at any time, so you keep obsessively checking. 

 

Oh gosh, these are both so horribly true!  Glad Christmas isn't like grad school application decisions.  It could show up anytime during a 3-month period, and you're not guaranteed to get anything nice! :P

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I hate that I THINK I was rejected from one school, because I wasn't sent an interview invite, but I don't know for sure, because my application status hasn't changed. I just wait and wait. This is like being told at the end of a bad date, "... I'll call you."

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Well, it is a holiday...

 

That, and, apparently, Blue Monday. Woo. Hoo.

 

Does anyone else feel sharp pangs of anxiety every five minutes when the thought, "WHY did I ONLY apply to super competitive programs? Did I really think I could get into any of those places?" passes through your mind?

 

Yes, yes, yes. All the time. And it's killing me. Together with the fact that I applied only to six schools, I should've applied to more.

Not that I won't have the chance, later this year. :unsure:

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That, and, apparently, Blue Monday. Woo. Hoo.

 

 

Yes, yes, yes. All the time. And it's killing me. Together with the fact that I applied only to six schools, I should've applied to more.

Not that I won't have the chance, later this year. :unsure:

 

You think you should have applied to more? *looks at own signature* Why in the world would I convince myself to only apply to the schools with the exact programs I wanted to do this year? Future me now hates past me.

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You think you should have applied to more? *looks at own signature* Why in the world would I convince myself to only apply to the schools with the exact programs I wanted to do this year? Future me now hates past me.

 

Well, I don't see a reason to apply to a program that you don't want to do. I think you made a perfectly rational decision.

 

I didn't know that astrobiology was a thing. How in the world did you get into it?

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Well, I don't see a reason to apply to a program that you don't want to do. I think you made a perfectly rational decision.

 

Agreed.  I eliminated schools at the bottom of my list that I decided I wouldn't be happy attending while knowing that it could mean re-applying next year.  Although I do understand... I still have moments every day where I kick myself for not going just a little farther down the list if it means not waiting another year.

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Does anyone else feel sharp pangs of anxiety every five minutes when the thought, "WHY did I ONLY apply to super competitive programs? Did I really think I could get into any of those places?" passes through your mind?

 

The feeling is (painfully) mutual...!

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I didn't know that astrobiology was a thing. How in the world did you get into it?
It's usually a subfield of geology/paleontology, though I know at my UG school, they had life science and chemistry people involved too.
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hahahaha I would quote several of your posts!!!! Really hoping for the best. I had made up my mind that I wouldn't hear from any school until late February-early March. In the mean time, I am TRYING to get a paper done for a conference and enjoying my holidays. Keep your nerves together! :)

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