Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[stereopticons]

13 hours ago, shadowclaw said:

That's rough. Once I had some Alfredo pasta on the back seat and the  container leaked. My husband (then boyfriend) didn't say anything  about it when he took it out. It actually kind of baked solid in the sun so it didn't smell. However, when I found it and tried to clean it, I broke the "scent seal" and it smelled like vomit for a few days.

My vent: while visiting my family for the holiday, I went to NYC for the day with my mom. After a day of my hair blowing all over and not brushing it or anything, she tells me that my hair looks dull and that I should take a bottle of hair cream she has home with me and start using it. I politely tell her that those hair products are loaded up with silicone (which makes hair shiny among other things) and that I don't want to use it because I use sulfate-free shampoo which doesn't do a good job washing away silicone and I'll end up with gunky dry hair.  She became super offended that I turned down her offer of free hair stuff and essentially told me that I was being a brat and only used sulfate-free products so I could look down on everyone else for using unnatural silicones because I've turned into a west coast hippie. Which is bizarre because she's read my cranky Facebook rants about people who vilify certain products just because they contain difficult-to-pronounce ingredients or man-made compounds. The exchange really soured what was a great day in the city, although I did my best to let it go and enjoy the rest of my visit.

Yep. Now my car smells like a combination of spoiled milk and febreeze, which is possibly worse than the milk by itself. Hooray. 

I can totally identify with your venting. Everyone, from family to strangers think it's totally ok to touch my hair and recommend products to me. Can you just leave me and my unmanageable hair alone? Your mom sounds like my mom. Sorry she had to go and mess up a nice city visit. 

[fadedfigures]

8 hours ago, stereopticons said:

Yep. Now my car smells like a combination of spoiled milk and febreeze, which is possibly worse than the milk by itself. Hooray. 

I can totally identify with your venting. Everyone, from family to strangers think it's totally ok to touch my hair and recommend products to me. Can you just leave me and my unmanageable hair alone? Your mom sounds like my mom. Sorry she had to go and mess up a nice city visit. 

Here's a suggestion: try dumping some baking soda on the spots where the spoiled milk were, and leave it for a while. 

I learned that trick a few years back. I threw my backpack down onto the bed, and forgot my coffee container was in the side pouch. The cup leaked out all over the bed, and I was annoyed, but dried up what I could. That night, as I was sleeping, I smelled spoiled milk, and remembered that my coffee had milk in it. Gross. 

I stopped by the store the next morning and bought two boxes of baking soda. I dumped out probably both boxes on the bed and made a thick layer over the spots where the coffee milk had spilled. I left it there for a few hours, and then vacuumed the baking soda up. Boom. No more spoiled milk smell.

[shadowclaw]

On 12/31/2016 at 5:29 PM, Need Coffee in an IV said:

@shadowclaw Wow I'm sorry about that, my family is very similar. They also get hurt and are sensitive over the tiniest of things. I didn't even realize sulfate-free vs silicon was a thing. I always use sulfate free because the interwebs say thats whats good for curly hair.

Yeah, my family can be really touchy sometimes, but usually they keep it reigned in and complain about the offending person after they leave. It was unusual for her to go off at my face like that, but not unprecedented. 

I don't think all sulfate-free systems are also silicone-free, but I believe  ones that do still have silicone reduce the amount because it can build up on your hair and eventually cause it to become dry and unmanageable. So I try to limit my use of silicones so I don't have to use sulfate shampoo too often. It makes my scalp super dry and itchy. Most of the creams and treatments for hair in stores like Wal-Mart have a ton of silicone because it makes hair smooth, shiny, and tangle-free.

13 hours ago, stereopticons said:

Yep. Now my car smells like a combination of spoiled milk and febreeze, which is possibly worse than the milk by itself. Hooray. 

I can totally identify with your venting. Everyone, from family to strangers think it's totally ok to touch my hair and recommend products to me. Can you just leave me and my unmanageable hair alone? Your mom sounds like my mom. Sorry she had to go and mess up a nice city visit. 

That's terrible that strangers think it's ok to touch your hair! I mean, I totally understand the desire to touch other people's hair, clothes, dogs, etc. if you're curious about the texture, but that doesn't mean you do it. That's freaking rude! I personally don't mind that she recommended something to me, but her reaction to me was so uncalled for.

[Need Coffee in an IV]

1 hour ago, shadowclaw said:

Yeah, my family can be really touchy sometimes, but usually they keep it reigned in and complain about the offending person after they leave. It was unusual for her to go off at my face like that, but not unprecedented. 

I don't think all sulfate-free systems are also silicone-free, but I believe  ones that do still have silicone reduce the amount because it can build up on your hair and eventually cause it to become dry and unmanageable. So I try to limit my use of silicones so I don't have to use sulfate shampoo too often. It makes my scalp super dry and itchy. Most of the creams and treatments for hair in stores like Wal-Mart have a ton of silicone because it makes hair smooth, shiny, and tangle-free.

That's terrible that strangers think it's ok to touch your hair! I mean, I totally understand the desire to touch other people's hair, clothes, dogs, etc. if you're curious about the texture, but that doesn't mean you do it. That's freaking rude! I personally don't mind that she recommended something to me, but her reaction to me was so uncalled for.

Ah ok the more you know! If it makes you feel any better my dad once accused me of being embarrassed by my family because I didn't want to be in a bar. My head hurt at the time. He also was offended that I didn't get excited by the TCU football stadium, not a game, but just the stadium itself.

[shadowclaw]

@Need Coffee in an IV one of the biggest blowouts with my mom was about my wedding. We were engaged for a while and originally were planning a big traditional wedding, but we both hated the idea (we're very introverted and quiet, although I've gotten louder). So we wanted to elope but felt bad about leaving our parents out of it, so we ended up going on a cruise with our parents and getting married at one of the stops. Really ended up being way cheaper than a traditional wedding, too.

My siblings didn't come for a variety of reasons. One brother was in jail, one couldn't afford to take time off of work, one really didn't give a hoot, and my sister refused to find someone else to petsit for her (I used to petsit for her while she went on vacations to Europe with her daughter). I also invited my four closest friends, but two had babies and didn't want to bring them or leave them at home. The other two were available, but didn't have the $1000 for the flight and cruise ticket. These two are also my very best friends and honestly were far closer to me than any of my siblings. So I offered to help them out and pay whatever part of the cost they didn't have. I unwisely told this to my mom and she freaked. She was so offended that I wanted to spend part of my tax return so friends could go while my siblings sat at home. Really it wasn't all of my siblings - it was my sister and niece that she was pissed about not being there, and it was their own stubbornness that prevented it, not financial constraints. She didn't speak to me for several days and told my dad she wasn't going if my friends were. Eventually she made peace with it after we had a weird conversation where she went on and on about how wrong it was for me to pay for them to come to my wedding when they wouldn't be able to afford to buy me a nice wedding present, while I made a pretty rational argument for my side. 

Come to think of it, she gets pretty offended anytime someone treats their friends like family. My parents are old and are finally retiring in a few months. We traditionally hosted dinner for the big holidays. However, it's become a bit of a burden on my mom, my sister won't help her, and I'm not there anymore except for Christmas. Plus many family members that used to come to everything have families now and do their own thing for most holidays. My oldest brother invites them to everything at his house, but they hate going because he also invites his friends. She refuses to go over on Christmas eve because he not only invites his friends to the dinner, but gives them gifts! She is actually offended that he cares enough about his friends to give them small presents.

This was way more information than anybody needs to know, but I'm in a mood! I love my mom dearly, but sometimes she just gets me going.

[Need Coffee in an IV]

9 hours ago, shadowclaw said:

@Need Coffee in an IV one of the biggest blowouts with my mom was about my wedding. We were engaged for a while and originally were planning a big traditional wedding, but we both hated the idea (we're very introverted and quiet, although I've gotten louder). So we wanted to elope but felt bad about leaving our parents out of it, so we ended up going on a cruise with our parents and getting married at one of the stops. Really ended up being way cheaper than a traditional wedding, too.

My siblings didn't come for a variety of reasons. One brother was in jail, one couldn't afford to take time off of work, one really didn't give a hoot, and my sister refused to find someone else to petsit for her (I used to petsit for her while she went on vacations to Europe with her daughter). I also invited my four closest friends, but two had babies and didn't want to bring them or leave them at home. The other two were available, but didn't have the $1000 for the flight and cruise ticket. These two are also my very best friends and honestly were far closer to me than any of my siblings. So I offered to help them out and pay whatever part of the cost they didn't have. I unwisely told this to my mom and she freaked. She was so offended that I wanted to spend part of my tax return so friends could go while my siblings sat at home. Really it wasn't all of my siblings - it was my sister and niece that she was pissed about not being there, and it was their own stubbornness that prevented it, not financial constraints. She didn't speak to me for several days and told my dad she wasn't going if my friends were. Eventually she made peace with it after we had a weird conversation where she went on and on about how wrong it was for me to pay for them to come to my wedding when they wouldn't be able to afford to buy me a nice wedding present, while I made a pretty rational argument for my side. 

Come to think of it, she gets pretty offended anytime someone treats their friends like family. My parents are old and are finally retiring in a few months. We traditionally hosted dinner for the big holidays. However, it's become a bit of a burden on my mom, my sister won't help her, and I'm not there anymore except for Christmas. Plus many family members that used to come to everything have families now and do their own thing for most holidays. My oldest brother invites them to everything at his house, but they hate going because he also invites his friends. She refuses to go over on Christmas eve because he not only invites his friends to the dinner, but gives them gifts! She is actually offended that he cares enough about his friends to give them small presents.

This was way more information than anybody needs to know, but I'm in a mood! I love my mom dearly, but sometimes she just gets me going.

Its ok! Just letting you know, that you aren't alone! My family is very similar dramatics wise. Besides its ok to vent about family, it doesn't change that you love them. My bf and I aren't married/engaged yet but we are planning too so we have already been prepping for the wedding talk. We are also both very private introvert people. His parents wouldn't care how big/small it is but my dad does. I've already been setting expectations that its going to be small.

[avflinsch]

On 1/1/2017 at 9:56 AM, stereopticons said:

Yep. Now my car smells like a combination of spoiled milk and febreeze, which is possibly worse than the milk by itself. Hooray. 

 

 

I brought pizzas home for dinner on 12/23, my car still smells like garlic 10 days later.
Garlic is probably better than sour milk or febreeze, but I would have figured that the aroma would have dissipated after a week and a half. 
 

[.letmeinplz//]

4 minutes ago, avflinsch said:

I brought pizzas home for dinner on 12/23, my car still smells like garlic 10 days later.
Garlic is probably better than sour milk or febreeze, but I would have figured that the aroma would have dissipated after a week and a half. 
 

Haha yea that happened to me with Five Guys. We got some to go before leaving on a trip and somehow a week later when I got in my car for the first time since we left it still smelled like Five Guys. So I drove to Five Guys again. Must be a marketing strategy...

Edited January 2, 2017 by .letmeinplz//

[Need Coffee in an IV]

@.letmeinplz// Five Guys are sneaky and want all of our money. Why must it taste so awesome?!

[stereopticons]

2 minutes ago, Need Coffee in an IV said:

@.letmeinplz// Five Guys are sneaky and want all of our money. Why must it taste so awesome?!

It's true. It's a conspiracy. Plus I'm pretty sure every time I go on there, they've raised their prices. 

[Need Coffee in an IV]

1 minute ago, stereopticons said:

It's true. It's a conspiracy. Plus I'm pretty sure every time I go on there, they've raised their prices. 

At least it is a tasty conspiracy and not an infuriating one like the lack of pockets in women's clothing lol

[stereopticons]

3 minutes ago, Need Coffee in an IV said:

At least it is a tasty conspiracy and not an infuriating one like the lack of pockets in women's clothing lol

Don't even get me started on the pockets. Even when they do put pockets, they aren't big enough to put anything in!

[Need Coffee in an IV]

3 minutes ago, stereopticons said:

Don't even get me started on the pockets. Even when they do put pockets, they aren't big enough to put anything in!

Exactly! I know I'm condition to assume everything is a lie but its a lot more disappointing when there is a tangible reminder of our fragile existence

[Yanaka]

I am a woman and a vegan, what do I have left?

[Need Coffee in an IV]

19 minutes ago, Yanaka said:

I am a woman and a vegan, what do I have left?

You are bilingual! I wish I could learn another language but it took me seven years of therapy to get English down ha

[Quickmick]

33 minutes ago, Yanaka said:

I am a woman and a vegan, what do I have left?

soy kaas? hmmm maybe wine, too. Oh! And cats, lots and lots of cats.

[swil92]

also hard cider 

[shadowclaw]

4 hours ago, Need Coffee in an IV said:

At least it is a tasty conspiracy and not an infuriating one like the lack of pockets in women's clothing lol

Arg! Pockets! I've been thinking of sewing in bigger pockets.  It would be nice if my cell phone wouldn't pop out every time I stood up.

[stereopticons]

34 minutes ago, shadowclaw said:

Arg! Pockets! I've been thinking of sewing in bigger pockets.  It would be nice if my cell phone wouldn't pop out every time I stood up.

Right?? I sit down and it's popping out. Is this pocket meant to hold things? Is this a pocket FOR ANTS? 

Also workout pants? Is my phone supposed to fit in that tiny half pocket? Maybe like a Motorola razr would but get with the times, pants manufacturers!

[Karou]

1 hour ago, shadowclaw said:

Arg! Pockets! I've been thinking of sewing in bigger pockets.  It would be nice if my cell phone wouldn't pop out every time I stood up.

A couple years ago my phone fell into a toilet because of tiny lady pockets. At least it was a learning experience, I always double check now!

[Need Coffee in an IV]

11 hours ago, Karou said:

A couple years ago my phone fell into a toilet because of tiny lady pockets. At least it was a learning experience, I always double check now!

Seriously, thats one of the main reasons why I carry a purse. I'm paranoid that its going to pop out and break. I bet Apple is going to make this a feature somehow

[shadowclaw]

13 hours ago, Karou said:

A couple years ago my phone fell into a toilet because of tiny lady pockets. At least it was a learning experience, I always double check now!

This reminds me of a manager I had back in the day. It was when tiny phones were the big thing (flip phone era). Even with a ridiculously small phone, it still popped out of her pocket and into the toilet... and she flushed it. She didn't realize it had fallen in until it was being sucked down the hole.

[shadowclaw]

I'm feeling both annoyed and grateful right now about a lab meeting I can't attend this upcoming term. One of the labs in my research area decided to have an open invitation to lab meetings for anyone interested in our area of research. I went last term. Each week we'd read a background paper and then someone would present proposed research, preliminary results, etc. and ask us questions as well as take questions from us. It was basically so everyone could get feedback and help with research from a diverse group of people.

It wasn't a lot of work, but it did eat up a few hours of my time each week. When it came time to present my stuff, half the people didn't show up, nobody answered any of the questions I had for them, and they hardly had anything to say. It was a pretty useless session for me. We did a poll for everyone's availability to schedule the meeting for next term, and it came down to either excluding me or the wife of one of the lab's postdocs (and she wasn't a student... she was enrolled elsewhere and was finishing her degree remotely). As you can guess, the professor chose to pick a time that was good for his postdoc's wife. So I'm feeling really annoyed that the professor isn't putting enrolled students first, especially since our school has an annoying policy for the summer term that if you use any of the faculty's time or resources during the summer, you have to register for credits, which for many students would mean paying out of pocket (not that it's really enforced). On the other hand, I didn't really want to put in the effort of reading all those papers and giving other people feedback only to have them slack off when it was my turn. 

[Cheshire_Cat]

I am bad at teaching, but getting better.  That is not to say I am a bad instructor.  My students do well on the tests and always have.  I just have a hard time connecting with the students and controlling the classroom, so my evaluations are low.  So, I have to teach this semester, again. But I've come to peace with that.   However, I just learned that the student that went over my head- my class coordinator's head, and the head of the department, all the way to the *dean* to complain about my teaching- is in my upcoming class.  Fuck.  She was in the first class I taught, and did way worse than all the other students.  And she had this entitled attitude and took everything I did out of context to make it look worse than it was.

I was just put as the assigned instructor for the class recently.  I'm hoping she sees who it is and decides to take a different section.    Maybe now I could help her do better, but I don't know if I can get over her going to the dean and being such a drama queen in my earlier class.

Also, learning to teach is tough.  And some students are like "I am paying for this class, I shouldn't have to take it from a new teacher."  Well, guess what?  I am paying to teach the freaking class!  Not only is there a little stupid fee associated with teaching (wth?) but I could be making twice as much money if I wasn't in academia, so the opportunity costs are way higher for me.  That is why there are so few business professors.  But you have to be bad before you are good, and good before you are great. And you have to learn how to teach somewhere.  That is why tuition is lower at this school than at a nice private school.  It sucks, but that is how it is.

[stereopticons]

12 minutes ago, Cheshire_Cat said:

I am bad at teaching, but getting better.  That is not to say I am a bad instructor.  My students do well on the tests and always have.  I just have a hard time connecting with the students and controlling the classroom, so my evaluations are low.  So, I have to teach this semester, again. But I've come to peace with that.   However, I just learned that the student that went over my head- my class coordinator's head, and the head of the department, all the way to the *dean* to complain about my teaching- is in my upcoming class.  Fuck.  She was in the first class I taught, and did way worse than all the other students.  And she had this entitled attitude and took everything I did out of context to make it look worse than it was.

I was just put as the assigned instructor for the class recently.  I'm hoping she sees who it is and decides to take a different section.    Maybe now I could help her do better, but I don't know if I can get over her going to the dean and being such a drama queen in my earlier class.

Also, learning to teach is tough.  And some students are like "I am paying for this class, I shouldn't have to take it from a new teacher."  Well, guess what?  I am paying to teach the freaking class!  Not only is there a little stupid fee associated with teaching (wth?) but I could be making twice as much money if I wasn't in academia, so the opportunity costs are way higher for me.  That is why there are so few business professors.  But you have to be bad before you are good, and good before you are great. And you have to learn how to teach somewhere.  That is why tuition is lower at this school than at a nice private school.  It sucks, but that is how it is.

I have similar problems with teaching. I can connect with a handful of students who really like me but the rest are unimpressed. I'm very awkward and have a hard time dealing with disrespectful behaviors. One of my first students also went to the Dean of Students about me. I cried in my office that day (and several other times). So I feel you. Teaching is incredibly hard. You aren't alone!