Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[angesradieux]

13 minutes ago, avflinsch said:

Snow day yesterday, university offices closed 9am-5pm - good I didn't need to go to work.
Classes however, resumed at 4:30, which means that I did need to go to my 6:20 class.

That sucks. They can be a pain when it snows. There were a few times I had the opposite problem--the university closed, but didn't make the call until I'd already driven to campus. I got the e-mail after I'd already been at a bus stop for half an hour trying to get to class and had seen a couple buses get stuck not too far from the stop. Since I was already there, I hoped to be able to hang in the student center for a while to wait out the storm, but nope. They closed everything and I had to turn around and drive home. Could've been worse, though. I know there were a some people who ended up more or less stranded on a campus they didn't live on because they were able to get a bus to class, but by the time they were trying to get back the buses couldn't operate. At least I hadn't been able to get a bus yet, so I was on the same campus as my car. There were also a couple times I missed a class because the university had a delayed opening, but by the time I would've had to leave the roads were still dangerous. Fortunately my professors were generally pretty understanding about it as long as I let them know.

Right now I'm kind of leaning towards attending a grad program further south. If that works out, I won't be missing the various botched snow day scenarios!

[avflinsch]

53 minutes ago, angesradieux said:

-the university closed, but didn't make the call until I'd already driven to campus

That happened to me a few years ago - the weather deteriorated rapidly after I left home, and they made the call about an hour after I got to my office. Then it took me 3 hours to drive back home.

[angesradieux]

I'm really frustrated trying to make travel plans to visit schools. Once school is kind of difficult to get to, in that there are no direct flights to the closest airport, and even getting there with a flight involving a layover is expensive and flights aren't all that frequent. There are no workable flights I've found out of the airport I would typically fly out of. The next best airport that actually has a flight that works is about an hour and a half away and in another state. I already wasn't sure if the flight was feasible due to the expense, but now it also looks like getting to and from the airport may only be possible if I'm willing to spend a small fortune on car service. I was hoping family might be able to help me out, but looks like that isn't happening.

My dad can't drive me. First, he's already had to take a lot of time off work for medical reasons. They've been great about it, but he doesn't want to rock the boat by asking for more time off. Plus, he had major surgery on his leg a few months ago, so I don't think he could handle what would essentially be 3 hours round trip in a car. However, I have an aunt who lives about half an hour away from said airport. Her house would be a much easier drive for my parents. I was kind of hoping that maybe she could help me get to and from the airport. Keep in mind this isn't an aunt I never see. She and my younger cousins stay with us all the time. For a while, one of my cousins went to summer camp not far from our house, and they stayed with us basically the whole summer. My sister and I help her kids with school projects and babysit and stuff. And she's also my godmother. So we're close, it's not like this is a distant relative I only see once every couple years or something, so I guess i was hopeful that she'd be willing to help me out with a ride.

Well, when I texted her and I got a few excuses that basically boiled down to it might be inconvenient, so she doesn't want to. Which, fine. I guess that's her prerogative. But all the same, I'm a bit disappointed. Especially since she's planning on bringing my little cousin's friend over to our house for a play date, which comes with the implicit expectation that my sister and I will help entertain the kids. A while ago, she was also on my case to teach the younger of my two cousins piano at our house over the summer, so she wouldn't have to pay for lessons, and whenever either of them needs something musical she isn't shy about asking me to buy it for her so she can take advantage of my employee discount at the store I teach at. I don't mind it, but now I guess it's getting under my skin that she has no problem asking me and my family for favors but now that I need a ride somewhere, she's like "Nope! You're on your own!"

It's not the first time. My mom wanted company while my dad was in for surgery a while ago, and my aunt said she would go, only to come up with an excuse to bail on her at the last minute and leave her waiting alone. Around Thanksgiving my dad was diagnosed with cancer and we were waiting for the biopsy to find out how bad it was. In previous years, they came over the day before Thanksgiving and stayed through the weekend, so this year especially we were hoping they'd be around to keep us company and help keep our minds off things. Nope. This year, my uncle didn't want to come at all and they ended up coming for dinner and leaving promptly. I guess this is just another in a growing list of disappointments, and I'm a little resentful because it feels like she expects us to make our house, time, etc. available when she comes calling, but Heaven forbid anyone asks her to reciprocate. I guess it's just that if my aunt or my cousins needed something and I could help, she knows I'd do it in a heartbeat. Same with my parents. Generally, if her family needs something, we're there, and she certainly doesn't have any qualms about asking. But when the shoe's on the other foot, everything's just too much to ask.

Or maybe I'm being irrational and reading too much into the situation because I'm already stressed out over travel plans and admissions decisions that are still pending. Nevertheless, the lack of support frustrates me and now I'm approaching the point of "Whatever. Maybe I'll just have to write back and inform these people that I actually won't be able to attend their visitation days."

[shadowclaw]

@angesradieux I totally understand your disappointment with family members who like to take but don't give too often. My parents and I have experienced a lot of this from my sister and niece. My sister separated from her husband within a year of having her daughter. My parents and I played a big role raising my niece when my sister moved back home for a little while and also for the 8 years she spent in college. My niece was at our house all the time for probably the first 12 years of her life. I even drove her to school half an hour away in the morning during my first two years of college, which was extraordinarily inconvenient (at least gas was cheap then) and meant I couldn't schedule morning classes because that would make me a jerk because my sister's morning clinicals were apparently more important than my education.

You'd think that because of those many years of free child care and sacrifices, they'd be happy to do things for my parents now and then. My mom is eternally asking my niece to visit and she only lives 15 minutes away, but she will only show up on holidays and only if dinner time doesn't conflict with her boyfriend's family's schedule. She didn't even come to Christmas dinner this year. My mom also asked my sister if she could host Christmas eve dinner since my mom is getting old and cooking two dinners back to back is hard. My sister did it once and said it was too much for her to do. So now I just cook one of the meals. My parents also love to decorate for the holidays but it's a lot of work for them now. I'm 3000 miles away and can't help, and neither my niece or sister will help them, even if my parents offer them money. Smh.

 

[angesradieux]

It's even more frustrating because a few days ago she was texting me about how she's been bragging about my admissions offers to her friends, and so and so used to work at school A and said if my choices are A and B, I should go to A because X, Y, Z. And when I visit I should mention so and so's name because he used to work there. And I'm sitting here thinking that if she really cared about my decision, would asking for a ride to the airport really be such a monumental hardship for her? But whatever. Guess my accomplishments are relevant when she wants to play "my horse is bigger than your horse" and impress her friends, but taking an actual interest and helping me make an informed decision is too much to ask. Looks like best case scenario I'll have to find money to stay an extra night, because all the flights to the airport my parents can get me to land at an airport that's a three hour bus ride from campus and depart too early on Tuesday to accommodate the visitation day schedule. The flight from the other airport would also have been less expensive, but since I don't see any good way for that to work, I guess I'll just have to shell out the extra cash. Because I have so much extra money laying around right now. *sarcasm*

[Sigaba]

On 1/31/2017 at 11:11 AM, shadowclaw said:

Today was another reminder that social anxiety never really goes away. I came to school at the usual time for my morning class, but instead of there being lots of open parking spots in the lot I'm permitted for (like there usually is), every single spot was filled. About 12 other vehicles were searching the lot like vultures. I get so annoyed when this happens. The school hosts various conferences and meetings, and they always let the public park in my lot, including buses which will take up 4+ parking spaces because they park sideways. In my year and a half here, they have only made an announcement about one of these events once. Today was not that day. Anyway, after driving around the lot for 5 - 10 minutes, I decided to head over to the crappy gravel parking lot which anyone with any permit can park in. It's far away from everything, but there were spots. There's a bus stop right by the lot, but the bus went by as I was parking. So I walk to my usual parking lot to catch a bus there, but I just miss it. So eventually a bus comes and it's exactly when class starts. I'm hoping the bus will get up to my building quickly, but no. There were people at every stop along the way and it took forever. So when I finally get to the building, I'm already 10 minutes late. 

Up until this point, I was fine with walking in late. But then I thought about the layout of the room and how everyone sits towards the back and close to the door. If I went in, I'd essentially have to ask everyone in one of the rows to move their chairs in so I can get to the other side of the room. It would be a huge distraction. After thinking about this, I suddenly felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. I resisted the urge to vomit, but I just stood there outside the building staring at it, trying to reason with my brain that being late is better than not being there at all, that a few seconds of making people move wasn't so horrible, that other people are often late to class and no one says anything to them. But no, my brain was having none of it. So after about 5 minutes of standing there like a weirdo, I turned and headed for the library. Sigh. I feel quite bad about myself now. I'm supposed to have this under control. Granted, I didn't vomit or cry and I don't have the shakes, but I still let it get the best of me.

Although I don't have anything useful to offer when it comes to you dealing with social anxiety, I do know something about parking.

When you enter a parking facility serving an academic institution, and it is so full that cars are hunting for spots, leave it immediately. Then, do one of two things. Think about where you don't want to park (in terms of facility and parking stall), drive there, and there will (almost always) be open spaces. The general rule of thumb at play here is this: everyone wants to park where you want to park and (almost) no one wants to park where you don't want to park. Your walk time to your destination will be the same as the time you spend hunting for a parking space, which may not available if demand is unusually high.

As an alternative, go to a parking facility that costs more, ideally one that has a paid valet service. Bite the bullet and resign yourself to paying. (Make sure that you ask for a machine-printed receipt.) The rule of thumb at play here is this: a well managed facility that charges for parking will almost always have available parking spaces because the transient parking rates will be high enough to turn over spaces.

[Cheshire_Cat]

6 hours ago, Sigaba said:

Although I don't have anything useful to offer when it comes to you dealing with social anxiety, I do know something about parking.

When you enter a parking facility serving an academic institution, and it is so full that cars are hunting for spots, leave it immediately. Then, do one of two things. Think about where you don't want to park (in terms of facility and parking stall), drive there, and there will (almost always) be open spaces. The general rule of thumb at play here is this: everyone wants to park where you want to park and (almost) no one wants to park where you don't want to park. Your walk time to your destination will be the same as the time you spend hunting for a parking space, which may not available if demand is unusually high.

As an alternative, go to a parking facility that costs more, ideally one that has a paid valet service. Bite the bullet and resign yourself to paying. (Make sure that you ask for a machine-printed receipt.) The rule of thumb at play here is this: a well managed facility that charges for parking will almost always have available parking spaces because the transient parking rates will be high enough to turn over spaces.

Yeah.  Good advice.  I have my "back up" parking garage with a valet and everything so that if I am running late I can drop it off there and not even worry about parking it, but it costs $5.50 more than my normal place.

[Shd90]

Got my first rejection today. Feeling pretty bummed right now. It was my top choice school. I hoped I would at least be Waitlisted first. Oh well 3 more schools to go. Let's hope for the best. 

[Charlsa]

1 hour ago, Shd90 said:

Got my first rejection today. Feeling pretty bummed right now. It was my top choice school. I hoped I would at least be Waitlisted first. Oh well 3 more schools to go. Let's hope for the best. 

My first rejection came today as well. We even applied to the same number of schools. It wasn't my top choice, but it was also obviously a "you didn't even make our top twenty list" letter. Just keep telling yourself "this doesn't mean anything, this doesn't mean anything, this doesn't mean anything and absolutely does not indicate the potential outcome of future admissions decisions."

[shadowclaw]

10 hours ago, Sigaba said:

Although I don't have anything useful to offer when it comes to you dealing with social anxiety, I do know something about parking.

When you enter a parking facility serving an academic institution, and it is so full that cars are hunting for spots, leave it immediately. Then, do one of two things. Think about where you don't want to park (in terms of facility and parking stall), drive there, and there will (almost always) be open spaces. The general rule of thumb at play here is this: everyone wants to park where you want to park and (almost) no one wants to park where you don't want to park. Your walk time to your destination will be the same as the time you spend hunting for a parking space, which may not available if demand is unusually high.

As an alternative, go to a parking facility that costs more, ideally one that has a paid valet service. Bite the bullet and resign yourself to paying. (Make sure that you ask for a machine-printed receipt.) The rule of thumb at play here is this: a well managed facility that charges for parking will almost always have available parking spaces because the transient parking rates will be high enough to turn over spaces.

Good advice, but not entirely practical in a small college town. I already park in one of the least desirable locations on campus because it is far from academic buildings. Everything is permitted, so I can't park in a more expensive lot without first purchasing a daily permit for it and printing it at home. There is also no valet parking anywhere for probably a 30 mile radius. Now, there are a few metered placed around the perimeter of campus, plus free two hour parking extending about half a mile into the residential part of town. However, these spots are always filled because they either offer quick access to buildings or they're free. The gravel lot is my only real alternative, and to be quite honest, I usually forget it's there because it's new. 

[BlueNahlchee]

This happened to me several times already this week. The light is green for pedestrian crossing, and as we are crossing, some idiotic drivers who are turning right try to swerve around us, or almost hit us, because they are spacing out/distracted/just aggressive/in hurry or for whatever reason. A few days ago, a driver was turning right as I was crossing, but I tend to have a fast walking pace, so he lurched to a stop reluctantly with a sour face (almost hit me), and I raised my arms in air and gave him a "what's your problem, dude?!?" look, and he commences to yell all sorts of cursewords at me through his window. I wanted to confront him but instead I just gave him an angry look and moved on because you never know how dangerous road-rage morons are if you confront them. I mean, seriously? Are you really that stupid? Yield to the pedestrians: HELLO! It's the LAW! Please don't tell me I'm the only one on the Grad Cafe angry about this happening all too often... I just feel extremely fortunate that I haven't yet been hit by moronic drivers who could care less about pedestrians crossing lawfully. Though I hope I'm not jinxing it by posting this...

Also, whenever this happens, where are the cops?? I NEVER see cops around when stuff like this happens  ... it would be incredibly satisfying to me if a cop saw what was happening and immediately confront these drivers.

Edited February 11, 2017 by BlueNahlchee

[stereopticons]

30 minutes ago, BlueNahlchee said:

This happened to me several times already this week. The light is green for pedestrian crossing, and as we are crossing, some idiotic drivers who are turning right try to swerve around us, or almost hit us, because they are spacing out/distracted/just aggressive/in hurry or for whatever reason. A few days ago, a driver was turning right as I was crossing, but I tend to have a fast walking pace, so he lurched to a stop reluctantly with a sour face (almost hit me), and I raised my arms in air and gave him a "what's your problem, dude?!?" look, and he commences to yell all sorts of cursewords at me through his window. I wanted to confront him but instead I just gave him an angry look and moved on because you never know how dangerous road-rage morons are if you confront them. I mean, seriously? Are you really that stupid? Yield to the pedestrians: HELLO! It's the LAW! Please don't tell me I'm the only one on the Grad Cafe angry about this happening all too often... I just feel extremely fortunate that I haven't yet been hit by moronic drivers who could care less about pedestrians crossing lawfully. Though I hope I'm not jinxing it by posting this...

Also, whenever this happens, where are the cops?? I NEVER see cops around when stuff like this happens  ... it would be incredibly satisfying to me if a cop saw what was happening and immediately confront these drivers.

I have smacked people's cars who have done this. I have also just stopped walking in the middle of the street when someone honked at me. I don't recommend either thing, but this kind of stuff makes me SO mad. 

[rheya19]

1 hour ago, stereopticons said:

I have smacked people's cars who have done this. I have also just stopped walking in the middle of the street when someone honked at me. I don't recommend either thing, but this kind of stuff makes me SO mad. 

In Chicago I used to live in an area that was both high student population and high family population. One day this dumb girl (looked like an undergrad) tried to go through a crosswalk where there was a crossing guard and small children. I walked straight in front of her, and she almost hit me, and I just turned and stared her down. She yelled and motioned with her arms like she thought she was tough, until the crossing guard walked behind me with the kids to the other side of the street. Open your eyes, bitch. 

But, where I live now I have the opposite problem. College students are CONSTANTLY walking into the street looking at their f---ing phones. They don't even look left or right! LOOK! UP! I don't want to hit them... ok, sometimes I do, but I don't want my insurance to go up, so I drive through campus at about 15 mph.

[Charlsa]

We have a lot of college students in my hometown that like to cross in the middle of the road--no crosswalk. We're a pretty laidback town so I don't really care except when cars are coming, at night, and they wear all black! Like c'mon! Have some self awareness at least! If it's night and you're wearing dark clothes, I can't see you and I expect you to be aware of oncoming cars at least. It's like they think because they live in this Stars Hollow/The Shire-like town that cars can't hit them.

And it's not even like the long-held student fantasy of being hit and no longer having student debt or tuition fees holds true, because they're going to a free college already. At best it will get them out of next week's deadlines.

[Bibica]

The data I need for my honors thesis exists! I had long given up on finding a dataset so good and had shifted the entire focus of the paper to something else (which is another rant, since it is not working like I want it to). Now I'm tempted to put in the extra work to finish the thesis I originally wanted to write.

BUT I need permission to access the dataset and NO ONE HAS RESPONDED TO ME YET. I know it's only been a week, but I want it now  I have the codebook and know it is perfect. I just want to sit here on a Saturday night with some wine and play with STATA, is that so much to ask?

Trying to be productive and reading up on the literature/editing my own literature review. Let's hope this issue is resolved soon so I can move on with my life.

[BlueNahlchee]

On 2/11/2017 at 2:29 PM, stereopticons said:

I have smacked people's cars who have done this. I have also just stopped walking in the middle of the street when someone honked at me. I don't recommend either thing, but this kind of stuff makes me SO mad. 

No kidding, this stuff makes me super mad too! Also, some drivers exiting their driveways just keep lurching forward while only looking at one direction to see if it's safe for them to turn right, and not even realizing that there's a pedestrian trying to cross from the driver's right side! LOOK BOTH WAYS! 

I always want to yell at these aggressive drivers (drivers who don't like stopping for pedestrians) "don't you know how to yield to pedestrians?!?!?" or "What is your problem?!?!", but according to various news reports some of these road rage animals won't even hesitate to shoot you if they get angry enough - it's so sad that innocent people have been killed because of these road rage animals who should never have gotten their licenses in the first place  

On 2/11/2017 at 4:08 PM, rheya19 said:

In Chicago I used to live in an area that was both high student population and high family population. One day this dumb girl (looked like an undergrad) tried to go through a crosswalk where there was a crossing guard and small children. I walked straight in front of her, and she almost hit me, and I just turned and stared her down. She yelled and motioned with her arms like she thought she was tough, until the crossing guard walked behind me with the kids to the other side of the street. Open your eyes, bitch. 

But, where I live now I have the opposite problem. College students are CONSTANTLY walking into the street looking at their f---ing phones. They don't even look left or right! LOOK! UP! I don't want to hit them... ok, sometimes I do, but I don't want my insurance to go up, so I drive through campus at about 15 mph.

While I'm walking on the campus I definitely had a few students run into me because they were so captivated by their phones. I yelled at a few of them "watch where you are going!" but of course it's unlikely they'll change their habits.

And @rheya19 great job showing that stupid girl the rule of the road. Doesn't she even know that speeding through a school zone (especially a crosswalk) is a very serious violation? I'd love to see a cop pulling over someone like that and handing her a very fat ticket. 

Edited February 13, 2017 by BlueNahlchee

[stereopticons]

15 minutes ago, BlueNahlchee said:

No kidding, this stuff makes me super mad too! Also, some drivers exiting their driveways just keep lurching forward while only looking at one direction to see if it's safe for them to turn right, and not even realizing that there's a pedestrian trying to cross from the driver's right side! LOOK BOTH WAYS! 

I always want to yell at these aggressive drivers (drivers who don't like stopping for pedestrians) "don't you know how to yield to pedestrians?!?!?" or "What is your problem?!?!", but according to various news reports some of these road rage animals won't even hesitate to shoot you if they get angry enough - it's so sad that innocent people have been killed because of these road rage animals who should never have gotten their licenses in the first place

I know! It's so scary and awful. After moving to Texas, I had to stop yelling at people and flipping them off because everyone has guns. A couple weeks ago, some guy cut me off while driving and I honked at him and he deliberately pulled over to get behind me and followed me to work. It's terrifying. 

[BlueNahlchee]

On 2/11/2017 at 8:50 PM, Charlsa said:

We have a lot of college students in my hometown that like to cross in the middle of the road--no crosswalk. We're a pretty laidback town so I don't really care except when cars are coming, at night, and they wear all black! Like c'mon! Have some self awareness at least! If it's night and you're wearing dark clothes, I can't see you and I expect you to be aware of oncoming cars at least. It's like they think because they live in this Stars Hollow/The Shire-like town that cars can't hit them.

And it's not even like the long-held student fantasy of being hit and no longer having student debt or tuition fees holds true, because they're going to a free college already. At best it will get them out of next week's deadlines.

I always try to wear bright clothes or have a flashing light clipped on my shirt while I go for a night run/walk, etc (I even got a flashing light for my dog to wear while walking her in the night haha). 

21 hours ago, stereopticons said:

I know! It's so scary and awful. After moving to Texas, I had to stop yelling at people and flipping them off because everyone has guns. A couple weeks ago, some guy cut me off while driving and I honked at him and he deliberately pulled over to get behind me and followed me to work. It's terrifying. 

Crud, that's super scary!! was everything okay afterwards (i.e. did he decide to leave you alone after you got to work)? 

[stereopticons]

9 minutes ago, BlueNahlchee said:

 

Crud, that's super scary!! was everything okay afterwards (i.e. did he decide to leave you alone after you got to work)? 

I panicked and didn't turn into work and just drove around and he eventually got tired of following. In retrospect, I should have just turned into the police station at the entrance to my work but I didn't think of it at the time. 

[SocCog]

Ughhh. I went to so many meetings about the graduate school process while an undergrad, as well as during my gap years. Almost everything has so far been wrong. 

I went out to snag a bunch of cold-weather clothes last month. In LA, we get in like 10 total coats in October. They're usually gone by December. So I was definitely not waiting until I got an invite to some place freezing to go out and buy one. It was hard enough as-is to find one in mid-January. I also bought snow boots and a LOT of sweaters and tights and scarves. And some cute gloves. But now people are saying that even if they want to interview me, they aren't going to fly me across the country to do it. So why did I spend SO much on boots and a coat? What if I'm at Irvine? I don't need snow boots! Not exactly driving off to Big Bear on weekends. 

Ughhhhh. And my first official email is a rejection??? How's that for setting the tone??!

Not to mention I've been depressed and anxious and suffering from panic attacks for going on a year and I've done nothing about it. I had everything planned out. When would be the best time to go on new meds so that the transition phase wouldn't affect interviews. But I haven't even made a doctor's appointment. Just give me my old Lexapro script! 

2016 was the worst year imaginable. (Yeah, people say that, but for me there was death and trauma and abuse and all sorts of shit.) 2017 HAS to be the year when my life changes. I need to have a purpose again. This is my purpose. But all I have right now is a rejection. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[Charlsa]

10 hours ago, SocCog said:

2016 was the worst year imaginable. (Yeah, people say that, but for me there was death and trauma and abuse and all sorts of shit.) 2017 HAS to be the year when my life changes. I need to have a purpose again. This is my purpose. But all I have right now is a rejection. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

There was no death or trauma or abuse here, but I feel you. 2016 was disappointing on so many levels. 2017 was going to be The Year I Turn Things Around but all I have is a rejection and a constant sense of dread and ennui. I don't want another directionless year in a dead-end job. I intended to seek professional help for mental health issues after I dropped out of a program in 2015, but all the therapists and psychiatrists around here are Christian-oriented and I'm just... not comfortable with that.

At least we all suffer together.

[SocCog]

As the silence persists I'm really starting to get nervous I'm not getting in anywhere. There are posts of at least phone interviews, if not visits and acceptances for every single one of my programs. And I've heard nothing apart from my one rejection.

I'm going to be really upset if it's my GPA. I was premed until my 3rd year of college. I was depressed and hated my classes. I had like a C+ average from failing a couple and not doing so swell in others. I switched to psych and got nearly straight As thenceforth (even in non-psych courses because I was so happy). So I ended up with a 3.2 overall, but a 3.8 last 2 years. Except, so many of the programs I applied to look at your whole GPA. The couple acceptances that list their GPAs are like 3.7 overall. I got 92nd/85th/82nd percentile on the GRE. I have 3 years of lab experience, including one where I was a study lead. I'm assuming my letters were glowing because I worked for all 3 professors and at least 2 adore me. 

So that leaves my SOP and my GPA as the sub-par elements. One I can fix. The other is years too late. 

[travelgirl125]

On 2/11/2017 at 4:59 PM, BlueNahlchee said:

This happened to me several times already this week. The light is green for pedestrian crossing, and as we are crossing, some idiotic drivers who are turning right try to swerve around us, or almost hit us, because they are spacing out/distracted/just aggressive/in hurry or for whatever reason. A few days ago, a driver was turning right as I was crossing, but I tend to have a fast walking pace, so he lurched to a stop reluctantly with a sour face (almost hit me), and I raised my arms in air and gave him a "what's your problem, dude?!?" look, and he commences to yell all sorts of cursewords at me through his window. I wanted to confront him but instead I just gave him an angry look and moved on because you never know how dangerous road-rage morons are if you confront them. I mean, seriously? Are you really that stupid? Yield to the pedestrians: HELLO! It's the LAW! Please don't tell me I'm the only one on the Grad Cafe angry about this happening all too often... I just feel extremely fortunate that I haven't yet been hit by moronic drivers who could care less about pedestrians crossing lawfully. Though I hope I'm not jinxing it by posting this...

Also, whenever this happens, where are the cops?? I NEVER see cops around when stuff like this happens  ... it would be incredibly satisfying to me if a cop saw what was happening and immediately confront these drivers.

That happens to me so often!  There is one really busy intersection right where I work and I almost get hit so many times while crossing (and I ONLY cross if I have the light).  I like to just stand there and stare at the driver like, "...are you serious?"

[angesradieux]

Apparently my mom has an opinion on literally everything. I don't even know where I'm going to school yet, and she's already trying to dictate my life. I've been hearing nonstop about how I need to live in the dorms my first year, and now she's also decided I have to have a roommate my first year. Great. Except I have a cat. Currently, I'm planning on bringing him with me wherever I go, which probably rules out the on campus housing. It also may make the whole roommate thing tricky, because if I were to have a roommate, it would have to be someone okay with my cat. So my plan was to look for one bedroom apartments. When I finally cut into her lecture, mentioning my cat, she goes "Well, I know he's important to you, but you can't let him be a significant factor in your decision." What? He has to be a factor. If I were to move and be unable to take him with me, then what? Would my sister take care of him? I honestly don't know. And if not, then what? I got him as a kitten when I was in middle school. I'm not putting him in a shelter. Of course I'm going to think about him when I'm making decisions about the future.

Next she started telling me about how she doesn't think I should have my car with me. Keep in mind, I don't know where I'm going and I haven't seen any of the cities. Let's say there is pet friendly grad housing or I find an apartment that's walking distance from campus that I can afford. Okay. What about everything else? What if I need to go to a doctor and I can't walk? Or what if the grocery store is a bit of a distance? I don't know what the public transportation's like. Without having a better idea of what these places are like, I don't know. Maybe parking's a nightmare and it's best not to have a vehicle. Or maybe it's hard to get around and it's not feasible to not have a car. That's not something I have a clear idea of right now, and hearing the whole spiel about why I should leave my car behind is stressing me out. Plus, again, I'm thinking about my cat. I could drive everywhere I'm considering. Some would be really long, miserable drives, but it's doable. And if that's the case, I'd probably be more comfortable bringing my cat with me in the car rather than putting him through the stress of flying. I've never been in a position where I've had to fly with an animal. I know some people do it, but I'm not sure how I'd feel about that. Frankly, though, I'm not really ready to start thinking about that yet.

I don't even have the financial details from every school yet. I'm not really in a position where I can start making these decisions just yet, and hearing the whole spiel about how my mom is much wiser than I am, knows what's best for me, and has decided that I'm going to do x, y, and z is making me crazy.

And it doesn't even stop there. She's critiquing my outfits for when I go on visits. Apparently jeans are forbidden? And I need to go shopping for some suits. I like my jeans. I planned on dressing up a little bit, like with nice tops and jackets and stuff. I wasn't going to go in with sneakers, jeans, and my grumpy cat t-shirts, or anything. But I certainly didn't plan on business attire, either. I really think that would be overkill. Then, she started going on about how my clothes aren't feminine enough for one particular school I'm visiting. Meanwhile, a week ago she told me I shouldn't wear dresses because that would be overkill. Which is it? Do I need to buy business attire and be super feminine, or is a dress too much?

I guess it's nice that she's taking an interest, but some of the advice is starting to feel like micromanaging, and then she gives me contradictory advice, and it's largely unsolicited. I'm reaching a point where I'd really like to just have some time and space to think about things on my own. On the one hand, I'm glad she's open to talking, because I'm sure after I go on visits there are going to be things I want to talk about. But, I wish that the conversation was less of a one-sided lecture about what I should be doing and more of a dialogue helping me weigh different options and talk through what I want in my future, and I also wish that once in a while she'd wait for me to come to her instead of pouncing on me whenever she sees me.

Edited February 18, 2017 by angesradieux

[stereopticons]

@angesradieux I'm so sorry you are having to put up with that. You have to make your own decisions and it's not fair to you. Pets are family, of course you're going to factor them in! I won't apply for on campus housing because I'm bringing my cats with me (plus on campus housing is usually more expensive). My mom is similar, I just haven't been giving her any information to work with and I don't live near her, so she doesn't know what I'm wearing. Still, she's like, you need to pick a school that's close to me so you can take care of me. It sounds like you are not in a situation where you can avoid it, and I'm sorry for that. You can always vent here!