Dealing with Rejection

[historygradhopeful]

Hello all!  I thought I'd start this thread for tips and survival suggestions for those of us that aren't as lucky as some other posters!  Where did you apply, who rejected you, what's your background / field, academic summary, and plans for next steps?

 

I applied at Harvard, Chicago, Columbia, Virginia, and Princeton.  Already have my rejection from Columbia printed out and on my desk.  I work in Asian history and have an MA from a small university with a 3.91 GPA, alongside ~70 page thesis made from entirely original primary source research.  159/161/5.5 GRE scores.  Also speak the language I'm trying to work in.

 

Since I haven't heard anything from Chicago / Princeton and they've already sent out their acceptances, that leaves me with Harvard and Virginia.  Realistically, that means my shot at a Ph.D. rests on UVA, which is still very competitive for my field.  I have no idea what I'm going to do if all my applications come up short.  Anybody else in the same boat?

[Chiqui74]

There's only been one Princeton acceptance on the results and it was communicated by a POI, informally. I wouldn't discount it just yet. Give it a few days. 

 

I have some good offers (2) so far but that is not to say getting rejected from the other schools won't be crushing. I went into this thinking that I would take it as it came, and that I wouldn't be crushed because I have alternative plans, blah blah blah.  The deeper I get into the process, the more I see that I will be crushed by the rejections because all the schools to which I apply are great fits for me.  But also, the show must go on.

 

As they say, it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings.

[historygradhopeful]

There's only been one Princeton acceptance on the results and it was communicated by a POI, informally. I wouldn't discount it just yet. Give it a few days. 

 

I have some good offers (2) so far but that is not to say getting rejected from the other schools won't be crushing. I went into this thinking that I would take it as it came, and that I wouldn't be crushed because I have alternative plans, blah blah blah.  The deeper I get into the process, the more I see that I will be crushed by the rejections because all the schools to which I apply are great fits for me.  But also, the show must go on.

 

As they say, it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings.

 

Congrats on getting into Rochester and NYU!  It seems that you've got a more diverse mix of schools than I did and that seems to have paid off for you!  I hope I'll get some good news in the coming few weeks, but we will see

[sankofa]

I applied last year and got rejected by 6 (yes SIX) programs. I was heartbroken. My best advice is not to wallow in your grief. Look at it as an opportunity to better your app and decide if this is what you really want to do. I took those months to redo my entire app. It's much better. I haven't recieved any news either way but I have learned a lot of valuable lessons.

If all else fails I think I will go into the public school system and reapply.

Try to stay positive and that's the best advice I can offer you, others and myself as well.

Edited February 9, 2015 by Glamdoll

[RevolutionBlues]

This might be an appropriate place to share my own experiences with this issue. Several years ago, as a starry-eyed undergrad at a small state school, I applied to three programs and was rejected from all of them. Fortunately, I was able to get some good feedback and was able to polish up my applications for submission to seven programs ranging from top tier down to fourth tier. Again, I received rejections across the board, bringing my two-year total to ten. This was the most difficult year because the first time around I didn't really know what I was doing, wasn't fully committed to the process, and hadn't spent as much time as I should have on the applications, but this second year I had worked hard to rethink my interests, hone my application to a fine point, and had even met with a professor, all for naught. In retrospect, this series of rejections was very painful, but I decided to make one last-ditch effort at applying to graduate schools. So, I stopped working, travelled to meet with professors, took courses, read and researched, asked everyone I knew to read over my statement of purpose, and then almost destroyed my long-term relationship to go develop my language skills. The payoff for this herculean effort was, out of nine applications, five outright rejections, three unfunded offers, and a single funded MA offer at a state school below the top fifty. Once again, the litany of rejections was a damaging blow, but that one glorious funded acceptance, even if just for a MA, fueled my hopes. By this point, I had received fifteen rejections in three years and three unfunded offers (which were basically rejections), versus one solid offer. Two years later, as my MA was drawing to a close, while taking a full course load, doing language training, teaching, retaking the GRE, contacting POIs, and writing a thesis, I scrambled to pull together another  series of applications, again for nine schools. In breaking with my previous experiences, however, in addition to four rejections, I received five PhD offers, four of them from top-ten schools. However, to get there I had to endure nineteen rejection letters.

 

In short: 1) if getting a PhD in history is really, REALLY what you want to do, then don't let the rejections discourage you. 

2) A rejected application is not a judgment on or rejection of you; it is merely a statement that at that particular point the department's short-term needs and yours are misaligned.

3) The process can obviously be painful and maddening, so keep track of those who care about you and don't be afraid to lean on them.

4) When dealing with bad news, I recommend a good drunk, preferably cursing out the offending department to your friends over shots, and then waking up early in the morning to start studying again.

5) If you find yourself striking out this year and want to try again, be sure to contact the department's that you applied to asking for information on the decision, i.e. shortcomings and areas for improvement. Not all will answer, and you don't want to seem incredulous, but an earnest and humble request will often yield solid responses on what you can do to improve your application.

[ToomuchLes]

Absolutely wonderful advice RevolutionBlues!

 

I've only been rejected from a few problems, but it still does hurt. I'll come back to this thread, whether or not Im going somewhere this year. 

[Chiqui74]

There are more Princeton acceptances; you may now freak out.

[merivo]

RevolutionBlues wrote a brilliant post. I may only humbly add what I'm going to do now, because I'm also applied to Princeton and haven't heard from them.

I will try meditation. Also I'm thinking about that place as it doesn't fit me, not only me's not fitting the place. Maybe you're saved from 5 years of headache and disdain.

 

Cheer up!!! Cheer up! Cheer up. Cheer up....

[Henry Hudson]

in prior cycles (MA and initial PhD program), I usually only got a single rejection - the rest were all acceptances (I generally apply to 3 to 5 programs).

 

then last year, seeking a new PhD program (the first one did not work out) I got all rejections. It was quite disappointing. But I am back at it for one more try, because damn it, this is what I really want to do! 

 

for me, the struggle is what to do in the interim. 

[TMP]

I'll share as well.  RevolutionBlues wrote a good post and I'll only add my experiences.

 

I applied to grad schools for PhD in my senior year of college.  I applied to A, B, and C for PhD.  Thanks to this board, I quickly realized that I wouldn't be accepted anywhere so I scrambled to apply to D for the MA and called C to transfer my application to another department where my dream POI was also housed in for the MA.  That worked out- I had two great years at C.  

 

In my second year of my MA, I went ahead and applied to 5 PhD programs for American-focused history.  There was another (former) student with similar research interests who graduated before I came in and had been spending her time teaching.  She applied to the SAME programs.  Guess what?  She got into ALL of them while I ended up waitlisted at 2 of my dream programs and rejected at others.  It was a huge blow, especially when I compared our accomplishments.  I had more languages and a strong MA thesis while she had more teaching experience.  Who knows- why her and not me?  She ended up turning down the offer from my dream program and accepted the offer at C.  Later in that summer, she decided to defer and I was definitely pissed off because I wanted to go a PhD program that badly.

 

I decided that my interests were more in European history so I changed up the list but kept my dream programs on it because I had been waitlisted (so close!).  This time, I applied to 8 programs and moved to Europe to study the language and get the experience.  When decisions rolled around, I could not focus.  I was trying to make the most of my time in the fabulous city I was living in but it was so hard because as rejections came in, I became depressed.  I ended up with 1 unfunded acceptance to a fourth tier university, a waitlist (again at one of my dream programs), and rejected by all others.  Because I received all of these decisions abroad, away from my support network, I had no one to turn to.  I actually fell into serious depression- could not even get myself out of my bed until noon or so.  It continued for another month or so.  My family did visit in the midst of it all.  It was hard for me personally because I really wanted to make my parents proud and I needed to be "in the moment" with them.  

 

So what did I do this time?  I was able to get into an e-mail exchange with my dream POI who also happened to the DGS at the time at E.  Because she was a C alum, I used that alum connection to briefly tell her that it was my second cycle and I was utterly at loss for how to improve my application.  She encouraged me to try again and offered constructive feedback on my SOP.

 

I was also told by several people to get the PhD thing off my mind for the summer and come back to the issue in the fall and see how i felt.  

 

I did.  While I was able to return to my dream workplace for a year-long paid internship, I just felt so exhausted.  C suspended admissions for that year.  Yet, I had three POIs who told me to try again.  My MA adviser got me in touch with a professor at F (where I was very nervous about applying because of funding issues).  My work colleagues also encouraged me and to add a top 5 program (I chose G) for kicks.   I received a lot of emotional and personal support from my work colleagues (many of them with PhDs) and that made the process of re-applying for the THIRD time more bearable.  I also had the opportunity to speak with my dream POI at E again and she was just... amazing and I realized that she was utterly perfect for me.  I found the energy that I needed to finish my application strong.

 

Then I took my mind off the whole process during the month of January (it helped that I had a big project dumped on me).

 

Lord behold, on February 6th, I found out that I got into F via website.

 

February 7th, just as I was finishing up my work for the day, I checked the Results board and saw that someone posted for an E acceptance.  My heart began racing and I realized I couldn't remember the password for the website.  So I walked home very very fast.  Logged in.  ACCEPTED.  My first acceptance with guaranteed funding!  I forgot all about dinner and nobody called 911 because I was too busy screaming and crying out of sheer excitement and relief.

 

February 8th.  Around 11 AM, the DGS at E e-mailed me personally to let me know that I had been accepted and nominated for a fellowship.  I was so excited.  THEN around 2 PM, the (new) DGS at H (one of my dream programs) sent a cold rejection letter.  Ouch.  I felt the stung a bit.  Then around 4 PM, my POI at F e-mailed me to let me know that I had been selected to receive a multi-year fellowship package.  I was utter shock-I had looked at F for a long time for US history but never... never imagined that I would be so lucky.

 

After that, nothing matter because E and F were in the Midwest and had excellent faculty and both offered me full funding.  G rejected me.  Then I pulled my application out of I pile (thankfully as one of my friends did get in that program).

 

While I did end up with a happy ending to all of this, the process took a real toll on my mental health.  I was so exhausted when I came in as a first year and it took a long time for me to see that I needed serious intervention for my depression and anxiety.  (There were other underlying causes for them, not just the grad admissions process).  

 

I'm well now.  While I still pangs of pain as I think back and relive some of the feelings, those years built a lot of character and introduced me the importance of seeing rejections as "mixed blessings."  Outside of grad admissions, I did have wonderful experiences in those two years- living abroad, working at my dream workplace, being a camp counselor, etc.- which shaped my perspectives as a graduate student now.

 

I still get rejections from fellowships and grants for research but I look at them as "mixed blessings" and "always next year."  It's important to recognize that nothing truly has an "expiration date."  Very few do have serious restrictions in number of times you can apply and stage of career.  Articles for journals can go somewhere else where it can truly find a "home."

 

PhD programs aren't going anywhere and if you really want it, just re-apply.  Stay proactive about the process and your next steps but also don't forget to embrace the present opportunities so you will be able to bring in another perspective into the seminar and your research. 

 

Can't emphasize RevolutionBlues' point about forming a strong support network for this.  You'll need it as you go through the PhD program and beyond.

Edited February 10, 2015 by TMP

[czesc]

Heartwarming stories aside, historigradhopeful, I would go with what you seem to have surmised in your second post and applied to more than five programs in the next cycle if this one doesn't work out, with a couple at least that weren't top ranked. That is, unless you don't think it's worth it to go get a PhD unless you go to one of those five schools.

Edited February 10, 2015 by czesc

[merivo]

Ok, Princeton dumped me too. Nevertheless, my Alma Mater university — HUJI — accepted me at the same day. 

 

Honestly, POI at Princeton replied me so arrogantly and their letter was also as cold as snow, maybe it is better not to attend there at all. I

[historygradhopeful]

Heartwarming stories aside, historigradhopeful, I would go with what you seem to have surmised in your second post and applied to more than five programs in the next cycle if this one doesn't work out, with a couple at least that weren't top ranked. That is, unless you don't think it's worth it to go get a PhD unless you go to one of those five schools.

 

I appreciate the input.  I think you're right about needing a broader reach to get into a program, but I'm simply worried about job prospects.  In the department where I work as an adjunct, I have two colleagues with Ph.D.s from University of Florida and University of North Carolina.  They fought tooth and nail to get the job and it's only an adjunct job that pays less than 15k per year.  I have been advised that if I want to get a real tenure track job it has to be from one of the top 10 Universities, realistically.

[Chiqui74]

One of my former professors told me the same thing today in respect to my two offers.  He pretty much told me I had to go to the best university that accepts me.

[ashiepoo72]

Look at placement records as well as ranking. There are some mid-tier programs that have placement records as high as some of the top-tier ones. Granted, you probably won't end up at an R1, but if your goal is a TT professorship then that shouldn't matter much.

[Deadwing0608]

In terms of looking at placement, I've actually gotten more specific than just checking out the overall program. I have paid the most attention to the placement record of my POIs. One of my "top choice" POIs is at a lower ranked school (top 60-ish), but has placed all of her PhDs in tenure track positions. For me, that's enough to look seriously outside the top 10.

[TMP]

Look at placement records as well as ranking. There are some mid-tier programs that have placement records as high as some of the top-tier ones. Granted, you probably won't end up at an R1, but if your goal is a TT professorship then that shouldn't matter much.

I'll push this a bit further.  It depends what your goals are.  Do you want to take on a 4-4 load at a teaching institution?  Or are you more research oriented?  My department places well when it comes to teaching institutions and people come to my program for that reason.  Public schoosl like Wisconsin tend to place its PhDs within the state and region.

[czesc]

I appreciate the input.  I think you're right about needing a broader reach to get into a program, but I'm simply worried about job prospects.  In the department where I work as an adjunct, I have two colleagues with Ph.D.s from University of Florida and University of North Carolina.  They fought tooth and nail to get the job and it's only an adjunct job that pays less than 15k per year.  I have been advised that if I want to get a real tenure track job it has to be from one of the top 10 Universities, realistically.

 

This is all very true, but I think you could broaden your selection even among the top schools (or those with good / desirable placement rates). 

[Chiqui74]

Now that I have two acceptances, one official rejection, and a few assumed rejections, I'm actually not feeling any less anxious about what is to come still.  I mean, they are all big names and chances are I won't get in to any of the ones that have not send out notifications yet, and it is bumming me out.  I'm not bummed about Princeton, but I am about William and Mary even though I haven't gotten an official rejection yet. Do I even have the right to feel bummed about rejections when I already have two offers, one of them at a top tier school? Something tells me "no," but I can't help it.

[historygradhopeful]

To add salt to the wound, I was just offered an unfunded MA at Columbia.  With tuition and living expenses I couldn't make it out with less than 140k debt.  Yipes.  Not a fun time to be applying to schools I guess

[Annalistasaxo89]

Now that I have two acceptances, one official rejection, and a few assumed rejections, I'm actually not feeling any less anxious about what is to come still.  I mean, they are all big names and chances are I won't get in to any of the ones that have not send out notifications yet, and it is bumming me out.  I'm not bummed about Princeton, but I am about William and Mary even though I haven't gotten an official rejection yet. Do I even have the right to feel bummed about rejections when I already have two offers, one of them at a top tier school? Something tells me "no," but I can't help it.

Any rejection stings even when you get into a top school so don't feel bad about feeling bummed out. The impersonal notifications can be harsh though, at least my POI at Columbia emailed me and said that my application was more than adequate but my research interests did not match with the dep (which I already though was going to be an issue).

[ashiepoo72]

Oh, rejection sucks no matter what. And even with acceptances, it's stressful waiting for other programs to notify. However, I think all of us with great programs under our belts need to be conscious of the fact that many of our forum friends are struggling with anxiety, wondering if they'll get in anywhere at all. I don't think it's fair to ask that acceptees not celebrate their successes or air their concerns (and no one on this board has done so, because everyone here is frigging awesome!), but I think it behooves us as conscientious people to temper our enthusiasm and/or concerns, knowing that regardless of our struggles now, we are going to a doctoral program--especially considering how many people don't have the luxury of that certainty.

 

Our problem now isn't if we are going, but where we are going...and so many people would love to have that problem.

[Annalistasaxo89]

I agree. With the joy of acceptance comes the stress of decision making and also recognizing how blessed we are to be able to pursue a doctoral program.

[mvlchicago]

I'm speaking now with one of my dream schools admissions under belt, so it's probably much easier for me to be optimistic. But this was also my second application cycle. Last year, I received rejections up and down the board from schools all across the competitive spectrum. It's really difficult to accept, but sometimes you can be the best applicant by a mile in a season and still not receive admission if they still don't feel like they can properly house your interests or are concerned about you being there over five years.

Case in point, I recently found out one of my favorite faculty members at my undergrad was denied tenure. Their grad students are now all scrambling to find people to chair their dissertations, but it's not easy because these faculty person was really the only individual with expertise in the field at my school. So now, these phd students are going to have to transform their dissertations to fit the needs of the department rather than exploring what sparked their passion for historical work. Sometimes rejections may be blessings in disguise. 

I'd echo a lot of what revolutions said: if this is the life you want, rejection is going to be a natural part of it (jobs, fellowships, funding, papers, conferences.) The key isn't to not get rejected, it's to learn how to operate well with rejections.

Much love to all of y'all.

[JTE]

In a previous life I was a freelance writer, so one can say I know a thing or two about rejection. To echo what others have said, the most important thing to remember about rejection is it provides us with a starting point for growth. Don't let a rejection letter deter you, rather use it as a tool for introspection and allow yourself to identify whatever shortcomings your application may have or those factors out of your control and assess the choices afforded you as you move forward.