Worst graduate school visit stories?

[cwr]

I'm currently at a visit for a program that is very highly regarded in my field (and in physics, admissions decisions come before visit weekends, so the department is attempting to sell students they've already admitted on attending), and I have gone from neutral to HELL NO! in one day because of the interactions I've had with people here. This is a stark contrast to other visits I've had, where during all of them, I very much liked the school in question and could easily see myself there.

So, I'm wondering: What are you visit weekend horror stories? Either the worst one(s) you've endured yourself or heard from others? 

Mine is best summarized by the following:

• The program's faculty in my (single, specific) area of interest (which was indicated very clearly on my application) waited until the first day of the visit to say "by the way, we have no more funding with which to take students", but then made no attempt to sugar coat it, leaving some of us to think "then why am I even here?"
• One of the faculty in a related area tried very hard to convince us to switch to his area (nothing wrong with this so far, of course), like many others. However, when I remained unmoved, he began to suggest that the work I was interested in was a poor career move (when there are literally thousands of scientists doing it) but his field (where there are dozens) was much, much better for job prospects. 
• One of the faculty (the same as above), when I still was unmoved by his argument to switch fields and said that I had solid offers from good groups in my area of interest, insisted that I tell him which groups I was planning to work with. (These are two very strong groups at two universities ranked as high, or higher, than the one in question.) Out of courtesy, I told him. He then proceeded to (mercilessly, and willfully inaccurately, as I could tell by his story changing slightly once he realized how much I knew about these groups) deride both groups, saying in summary that these would be a career mistake. 
• On the upside, I have had great interactions with some of the graduate students and two or three professors who seemed very nice, and this convinced me to stay for the rest of the visit (I was considering leaving to visit a competing institution in the area whose visit I passed on to come here). 

In any case, let's hear them. Visit horror stories! 

Edited March 31, 2016 by cwr

[TakeruK]

Wow, I am disturbed to hear about the bashing of other groups! Although maybe it is also disturbing that I am not really surprised to hear this happens In my program, as far as I know, we do not do this. In fact, we often want to hear where our visiting students are also considering so we can tell them what's great about the other programs (if we have visited or know faculty there). We just want the best for the visiting students, whether it's here or not!

---

Sharing these stories could be personally risky, so I'm going to list a few stories in which some details are changed (but the gist is the same). Also, this is a mix of things that happened to me or my friends (who are in different fields) but I won't identify which stories belong to who/which fields/schools.

- The visit basically consists of flying students to the department, paying for the hotel but not planning any events, not scheduling any meetings, so the visiting students just wandered the halls with no one to talk to (and no one currently in the department approached the visitors either). Luckily, the visiting students had friends already at that school who were able to show them around a little bit.

- One of the professors noted the visiting student was a coauthor on some other paper, and then harassed that student for not citing the professor's work in that paper.

- One of the professors, when talking about one of the students they graduated, admitted that they thought they wasted 5 years of their life training this person.

- While addressing all of the visiting students, a faculty member made multiple sexist remarks, suggesting that women just aren't capable of the same research potential as men. 

[Neist]

16 minutes ago, TakeruK said:

- While addressing all of the visiting students, a faculty member made multiple sexist remarks, suggesting that women just aren't capable of the same research potential as men. 

Wow. I don't think I could keep my mouth shut if I heard that. Or I'd just walk out immediately.

[fuzzylogician]

They're doing you a huge favor. It's good to know there is no funding in your subfield before committing to the school, and they would be doing you a disservice if they sugar coated it. 

I also had occasions where after telling someone where else I was admitted, they proceeded to tell me bad things about those schools. The only thing that taught me was that I did not want to work with that person. The best places where those that had only good things to say about their competitors and told me any choice would be good for me. 

And yeah, I would have a very bad reaction to anyone saying that women weren't as smart as men. Again, though, they are doing you a favor. Better to discover the misogynists now than have to work with them later. 

[TakeruK]

Want to keep further details private, but you may be glad to hear that the misogynistic comments did result in repercussions for the faculty member.

[hippyscientist]

4 hours ago, cwr said:

 

• One of the faculty in a related area tried very hard to convince us to switch to his area (nothing wrong with this so far, of course), like many others. However, when I remained unmoved, he began to suggest that the work I was interested in was a poor career move (when there are literally thousands of scientists doing it) but his field (where there are dozens) was much, much better for job prospects. 

I'm sorry to hear you have had a poor experience. I would like to highlight something though in the point above. The professor is not wrong in suggesting a field that has a few scientists in, but is anticipated to be the "next big thing" will probably be better for career prospects than one that is saturated with thousands of scientists. Of course, the smaller field may be an old one that has burnt out, but the way I read the above is that it's an up-and-coming venture that will see an explosion of growth in the next 5-10 years - which is exactly what we want to find as grad students. It might work differently in physics but that's how I interpreted that.

As for the group - bashing, and some of the horror stories outlined by @TakeruK that's not cool! I would struggle to keep quiet with overtly sexist, misogynistic comments  too.

[Neist]

7 hours ago, TakeruK said:

Want to keep further details private, but you may be glad to hear that the misogynistic comments did result in repercussions for the faculty member.

I admit, that does make me feel a little bit warm and fuzzy inside.  

[cwr]

8 hours ago, hippyscientist said:

I'm sorry to hear you have had a poor experience. I would like to highlight something though in the point above. The professor is not wrong in suggesting a field that has a few scientists in, but is anticipated to be the "next big thing" will probably be better for career prospects than one that is saturated with thousands of scientists. Of course, the smaller field may be an old one that has burnt out, but the way I read the above is that it's an up-and-coming venture that will see an explosion of growth in the next 5-10 years - which is exactly what we want to find as grad students. It might work differently in physics but that's how I interpreted that.

As for the group - bashing, and some of the horror stories outlined by @TakeruK that's not cool! I would struggle to keep quiet with overtly sexist, misogynistic comments  too.

Thank you for that. It is my impression that this is the latter case – smaller field, somewhat burnt out, no one I know is talking about this, let alone as the "next big thing" – rather than the former. The more important consideration, however (which is the reason that I made the decision that I did), is that the research in question doesn't excite me, and I know that being passionate about your work is hugely important for a Ph.D. program. 

At the end of the day, I could easily be an idiot and have turned down an opportunity to work in a great field, but if that's the case, I will live with it. 

@TakeruK Yikes, those (particularly the sexist comments) sound terrible. I'm also glad to hear that there were consequences for that. 

[knp]

Same methodology as TakeruK.

• A prospective student walks into a meeting with a new professor, at a visit day that has been going quite badly. Student: "Hello, I'm Student, how are you?" Professor: "Good, busy, how are you?" Student: "Fine! ....... .......... (sobbing)"
• A prospective student was considering two programs, one at University A (amazing fit) and at University B (astoundingly bad fit). When Student mentioned to a few graduate students that she was leaning towards University A because of its better fit—to the point that B could not have supported Student's desired research project—the current students spent twenty minutes trying to convince Student that "that was a crazy reason not to choose B, because who really cares about fit?"
• At the final dinner of one program visit, the DGS made a prospective student cry. Student had been sitting next to the DGS, and when he asked what Student was thinking about which program Student would choose, Student mentioned that they was leaning toward going to a related field's program. Student explains that the [related field] department has a great track record of producing people who get [field] jobs, and that 60-70% of Student's potential advisor's PhD advisees now have tenure-track jobs in [field]. "No," he says, "if you go there, no [field] department will even consider your application. You're crazy to think you would ever ever be employed as an academic in your field." Public tears.
• Ending on a lighter note, a prospective student went to visit a program that was a pretty bad fit, but which Student was still considering. Within the first hour of the visit day, Student learned that of the three professors with whom she could have worked, one had the flu, one had just been denied tenure, and the third had accepted another job. None were on campus, so Student spent most of the visit day reading a novel in Starbucks.

Moral of the story for professors and current students, which is luckily quite simple: even if a prospective student is saying something misguided, try to avoid describing them as "crazy."

[sjoh197]

This is a little different as it wasn't a grad school visit, but rather I had just transferred into the our geology dept. about 10 days prior, and was looking around an research groups and opportunities... and I swear to god, after finding something working under a phd candidate... I was informed that the project would obviously suck because said phd student only got where he was through affirmative action and being handed grant money he didn't actually deserve just for being black. 

I'd hate to see what they tell the grad students O.o 

Thankfully my advisor (and the phd student's advisor) ended up being super-duper awesome and I learned so much from him. 

[Demeter]

The university I was visiting wasn't very accessible, and I spent 90% of the visit trying to get to the places they were hosting things. Needless to say, I did not go there. I'm not sure if it was because of what I saw or didn't see. 

[CBclone]

44 minutes ago, Demeter said:

The university I was visiting wasn't very accessible, and I spent 90% of the visit trying to get to the places they were hosting things. Needless to say, I did not go there. I'm not sure if it was because of what I saw or didn't see. 

Unfortunately, stories like yours are all too common at universities and colleges. Part of it is due to old facilities, but people would be surprised by new buildings built with accessibility as an (borderline) afterthought. My school opened a shiny new rec facility a year ago -- the gates you have to pass through after having your ID swiped at the front desk aren't wide enough for a standard wheelchair. They only have tall pub-style tables in the atrium area. When the school renovated a different building (sometime in the last two years) and installed new sidewalks, they failed to put in curb cuts (and still haven't, despite students, faculty, and staff pushing the issue). The campus busses don't have a lift. The only bathrooms in the library that are accessible are on the first floor (of 4). I could probably think of more or even things from my undergrad school, though they are actually actively working toward more accessible buildings as they massively renovate/overhaul historic buildings and building new facilities.

[travelgirl125]

I asked a program director, "I'm trying to choose between your school and this other school.  Could you tell me some strengths about your program vs. that of the other program?"  The response I got, almost word-for-word: "Both programs have their strengths and weaknesses.  You need to go to the program that is the best fit for you."  Yes, I realize that...but could you tell me some of YOUR strengths, please?! 

[Demeter]

On April 10, 2016 at 11:31 PM, CBclone said:

Unfortunately, stories like yours are all too common at universities and colleges. Part of it is due to old facilities, but people would be surprised by new buildings built with accessibility as an (borderline) afterthought. My school opened a shiny new rec facility a year ago -- the gates you have to pass through after having your ID swiped at the front desk aren't wide enough for a standard wheelchair. They only have tall pub-style tables in the atrium area. When the school renovated a different building (sometime in the last two years) and installed new sidewalks, they failed to put in curb cuts (and still haven't, despite students, faculty, and staff pushing the issue). The campus busses don't have a lift. The only bathrooms in the library that are accessible are on the first floor (of 4). I could probably think of more or even things from my undergrad school, though they are actually actively working toward more accessible buildings as they massively renovate/overhaul historic buildings and building new facilities.

Yes, it's very, very common. It's unfortunate, certainly. My UG university spent millions on a new building and the bathroom stall meant for persons with disabilities wasn't even large enough for a manual wheelchair. I wish they had sought the insight of someone with universal design or a committee of people with disabilities of all sorts when considering the designs. 

I'm glad your UG school is aware of their present limitations and is working to overcome them. My first graduate institution was pretty amazing, overall. They were pretty responsive to concerns. I think it would also surprise people how much little, relatively inexpensive modifications, can do so much for accessibility. 

Edited April 11, 2016 by Demeter

[Le Chat]

I definitely had one of the worst interview/visit experiences ever, lol. Ironically it was previously my top choice school that I thought I would love. I ended up not liking it at all.

-Started the day with accidental peanut exposure. Had anaphylaxis and used epi pen and Benadryl.

-Interviewed with faculty while on epinephrine and Benadryl. I think I did extremely well, considering. ?

-Got lost during campus tour. Broke almost all of the silly campus traditions. (My fault.)

-Got first degree burns from hot coffee. Still not sure how that happened.

-Endured put-downs, patronization, and passive aggressive comments from other interviewers all weekend. 

I think I'm the worst interviewee ever. I'm super glad I visited though, I have zero plans to apply to this program in the future.

[kurfew007]

Well, let's see. I've been on four visits so far this year. They were all fine for me, and I enjoyed the time spent getting to find out if I was a fit for the program/campus/town. There was a really awkward moment at one of them though.

Visited a campus where all prospective grad students were invited on the same day. None of had admission decisions yet. We all had interviews with professors, and they were mostly done as a panel interview with one professor and two to five students. For one of my interviews I was with two other students: student A and B. Student A apparently was going to have no interviews with the two faculty he specifically requested to interview with. I don't know the reason for this, but things happen. I can't give you an exact quote but we walk into the professor's office sit down and A immediately says something like "I'm not interviewing with Professor X or Professor Y.  I have no idea who you are, and really I don't care. This is a waste of my time, and I don't know why I'm even here. This school is a waste of my time." 

Student B and myself are just kind of sitting in shocked silence. The professor responds with "Well alright then. Moving on." And then proceeds to interview student B and I, ignoring Student A. 

Found out later that he did that in every interview. We're all pretty sure he's not getting admitted. 

[HiFiWiFi]

On 2/25/2017 at 1:45 PM, abnumber5 said:

-Got first degree burns from hot coffee. Still not sure how that happened.

I think I'm the worst interviewee ever. I'm super glad I visited though, I have zero plans to apply to this program in the future.

I hope you said to yourself "Well that's the only degree I need from this place!"

[kimmibeans]

2 hours ago, kurfew007 said:

Well, let's see. I've been on four visits so far this year. They were all fine for me, and I enjoyed the time spent getting to find out if I was a fit for the program/campus/town. There was a really awkward moment at one of them though.

Visited a campus where all prospective grad students were invited on the same day. None of had admission decisions yet. We all had interviews with professors, and they were mostly done as a panel interview with one professor and two to five students. For one of my interviews I was with two other students: student A and B. Student A apparently was going to have no interviews with the two faculty he specifically requested to interview with. I don't know the reason for this, but things happen. I can't give you an exact quote but we walk into the professor's office sit down and A immediately says something like "I'm not interviewing with Professor X or Professor Y.  I have no idea who you are, and really I don't care. This is a waste of my time, and I don't know why I'm even here. This school is a waste of my time." 

Student B and myself are just kind of sitting in shocked silence. The professor responds with "Well alright then. Moving on." And then proceeds to interview student B and I, ignoring Student A. 

Found out later that he did that in every interview. We're all pretty sure he's not getting admitted. 

Wow. The entitlement and immaturity there is outstanding. I'm amazed the PI didn't kick him out of the room.

[OptimiscallyAnxious]

My bad visit was pretty much due to my clumsiness. When I arrived at the campus it was raining pretty hard and there were puddles everywhere. While walking to the building where interviews were held I ended up slipping and my cell phone fell into a puddle cracking the screen. I was completely drenched, but the most embarrassing part was that my shoes were soaked and every time I walked you heard squishy sounds.