How to deal with this anxiety?

[kinseyd]

So, I'm sure a large portion of everyone here is experiencing this horrible anxiety regarding their applications. I've never had problems like this with other applications (for REUs, undergrad, etc) before but honestly every day is torture. I was initially confident about my application as I really did everything that I could during undergrad to prepare for a doctoral program (I graduate w/ a degree in Biology with Honors in June 2017), but upon looking at the selectivity of the schools I applied to and just spending an undue amount of time on this sight, I can't help but deeply worry that I won't get accepted anywhere. My only option really, if I don't get in, is to apply for some type of NIH PREP program to give another year of research experience to get ready for another application cycle. I would actually apply to more schools before the Dec 15th common deadline of a lot of programs, but my 2 of my most important LOR writers are very hard to get in contact with (we are on trimesters and currently on vacation from Thanksgiving to New Years) so that option is kind of moot at this point. 

Anyway, my real question is what are your strategies for chilling out more during this application process and not succumbing to an insurmountable amount of dread/worry?

 

[JustHopefulMe]

I think sharing your what you feel on this forum helps a lot

I also used to read blogs by other students applying to grad school.

I believe that online interaction with people in the same boat as you is very comforting because it makes you feel you're not alone. You will be surprised to know that most people have the exact same feelings/worries/hopes, even regardless of their academic field. You can also learn from their experiences and strategies not just regarding stress management during this period of time but also about the application process and beyond. This is especially helpful if you don't have "real life" friends who are also applying to grad school and therefore will not exactly understand what you're going through.

I'm not saying that the support of friends and family is not important. It is very helpful to have them by your side and spend some time with them because that takes your mind off the application process for sometime, since thinking and worrying about it 24/7 won't help. You did your best and now it's time to sit back and wait. Also, if they are close enough, they will be more than happy to listen to you just vent, even if they can't exactly relate.

Take care of your self, exercise, read, or practice your hobbies (music, painting, coloring, cooking, baking, knitting/crocheting, etc). Just have fun during this time, and hopefully everything will turn out to be just fine.

Hope that helps  

[kinseyd]

4 hours ago, JustHopefulMe said:

I think sharing your what you feel on this forum helps a lot

I also used to read blogs by other students applying to grad school.

I believe that online interaction with people in the same boat as you is very comforting because it makes you feel you're not alone. You will be surprised to know that most people have the exact same feelings/worries/hopes, even regardless of their academic field. You can also learn from their experiences and strategies not just regarding stress management during this period of time but also about the application process and beyond. This is especially helpful if you don't have "real life" friends who are also applying to grad school and therefore will not exactly understand what you're going through.

I'm not saying that the support of friends and family is not important. It is very helpful to have them by your side and spend some time with them because that takes your mind off the application process for sometime, since thinking and worrying about it 24/7 won't help. You did your best and now it's time to sit back and wait. Also, if they are close enough, they will be more than happy to listen to you just vent, even if they can't exactly relate.

Take care of your self, exercise, read, or practice your hobbies (music, painting, coloring, cooking, baking, knitting/crocheting, etc). Just have fun during this time, and hopefully everything will turn out to be just fine.

Hope that helps  

Thanks for the kind words.  My parents have no idea about the process/how stressful it is (I'm first-gen) and I unfortunately don't have many friends and the ones I have don't really say anything beyond "you'll get in, don't worry" which doesn't mean much considering they're not in my field, though the sentiment is nice. 

Going to play video games tonight and stop checking program's websites.

Good luck in your application season, as well!

[DGD4L]

@kinseyd

I feel your anxiety! I am also a first-gen applying to microbiology Ph.D. programs for the Fall 2017. It's HELL. 

I'm an impatient person as is and hate having things (especially big things like graduate school) up in the air! 

[kinseyd]

3 hours ago, DGD4L said:

@kinseyd

I feel your anxiety! I am also a first-gen applying to microbiology Ph.D. programs for the Fall 2017. It's HELL. 

I'm an impatient person as is and hate having things (especially big things like graduate school) up in the air! 

Exactly! I hate having things so out of my control!

I don't know about you, but my parents totally don't get how stressful this whole process is! What programs are you applying for, if you don't mind me asking?

[DGD4L]

@kinseyd

No they really don't get it! It's a tough situation haha. 

I applied to these:

Tufts Sackler

Harvard BBS

Yale BBS

Loyola Chicago microbiology

U of Chicago Microbiology

UPenn Cell and Molec

U of Rochester Microbiology

 

How about you?

 

[Kaede]

This entire process has been so frustrating with how out of your control things are. One of my letter writers still hasn't submitted a LOR to one of the programs and I am trying to get it in but they are taking their sweet time...

[kinseyd]

3 minutes ago, Kaede said:

This entire process has been so frustrating with how out of your control things are. One of my letter writers still hasn't submitted a LOR to one of the programs and I am trying to get it in but they are taking their sweet time...

Ugh that's the worst! One of my LORs didn't get in until a few hours before it was due (to my top choice, no less) and that was only after I bugged him incessantly. Do you have a phone # for your recommender? I found that they checked their voicemail more than their email inbox, if that helps. 

@DGD4L

Great schools! 
I also applied to Loyola's microbiology program!

and:

University of MN - Microbiology, Immunology, and Cancer Biology

University of Iowa - Microbiology

University of Colorado-Denver - Microbiology

and University of WI - Madison - Microbiology

I'm from MN and it isn't really within my budget to travel to a coast-school, unfortunately 

[Yanaka]

My mother is very understanding and says she's as anxious about the results as I am. I also have a friend, whom I met because she bought my GRE practice books (funny), who's applying to PhD programs as well. 

... Well trust me, I still feel VERY lonely! Although being on this forum helps a bit with the loneliness. But it doesn't help with realizing how bad my SoP's are  

Edited December 5, 2016 by Yanaka

[JustHopefulMe]

21 hours ago, kinseyd said:

Thanks for the kind words.  My parents have no idea about the process/how stressful it is (I'm first-gen) and I unfortunately don't have many friends and the ones I have don't really say anything beyond "you'll get in, don't worry" which doesn't mean much considering they're not in my field, though the sentiment is nice. 

Going to play video games tonight and stop checking program's websites.

Good luck in your application season, as well!

Thanks!
Although my dad has a PhD (in a completely different field), I find talking to him very frustrating sometimes. He keeps comparing the process now with what it was like about 30 years ago, and just doesn't get why I am so nervous

Good luck everyone!

[DGD4L]

@kinseyd

Great schools! @Kaede my PI submitted my letter the day after it was due... so there's that haha. I would just call every day until they submit it. It's a pretty rude thing to do to someone who trusted you enough and thought you had a well-established relationship to the point where you would want them to write on your behalf... 

[NoirFemme]

16 hours ago, JustHopefulMe said:

Thanks!
Although my dad has a PhD (in a completely different field), I find talking to him very frustrating sometimes. He keeps comparing the process now with what it was like about 30 years ago, and just doesn't get why I am so nervous

Good luck everyone!

This is sort of off topic, but now I'm curious about the process 30 years ago !

[hopefulPhD2017]

I'm also on pins and needles and I only submitted my applications 6 days ago! One of my LOR was late/inconsistent as well but I called an old colleague and she stepped in so I think I'm safe, but I haven't gotten an email from every school saying they have everything. I applied to 9 programs and calculated that between GRE prep and application fees I spent about $900-1,000 on this application cycle. That makes me super anxious about whether I'll get accepted anywhere and whether it was crazy to spend that much money. Glad to know I'm not the only one fretting.

[DGD4L]

On 12/7/2016 at 0:19 AM, hopefulPhD2017 said:

I'm also on pins and needles and I only submitted my applications 6 days ago! One of my LOR was late/inconsistent as well but I called an old colleague and she stepped in so I think I'm safe, but I haven't gotten an email from every school saying they have everything. I applied to 9 programs and calculated that between GRE prep and application fees I spent about $900-1,000 on this application cycle. That makes me super anxious about whether I'll get accepted anywhere and whether it was crazy to spend that much money. Glad to know I'm not the only one fretting.

I also spent around this much... it killed me . I'm sure you'll get an interview and get in somewhere! I hate this waiting though. I've been constantly checking my email like a nervous wreck. It's gonna be a LONG December, that's for sure.

I know it's early, but has anyone heard anything from any of their schools?

[hopefulPhD2017]

3 minutes ago, DGD4L said:

I also spent around this much... it killed me . I'm sure you'll get an interview and get in somewhere! I hate this waiting though. I've been constantly checking my email like a nervous wreck. It's gonna be a LONG December, that's for sure.

I know it's early, but has anyone heard anything from any of their schools?

Thanks for weighing in and your positive support!

I just started a new thread in the Applications general forum about what to do after the applications are in...

I had a great convo with a faculty member/POI last week, the day before applications were due. She asked me a number of pointed questions and now I realize... Was that an interview? Does that happen? She's doing so much great work and was such a pleasure to speak with that now I'm even more nervous.

Other than that, no. I did circle back with every school and for all but one I can see that my application is "ready for review" or "under review." So that's something. Have you heard anything?

[DGD4L]

@hopefulPhD2017 Well that's good! I'm actually looking forward to the interviews. I love talking to people who are passionate about what they do . 

I haven't heard anything yet. I also have a "ready for review" or "under review" on some of my applications, but no emails yet It's still early but I'm so nervous about it. I just want to know I have an interview somewhere haha.

[hopefulPhD2017]

@DGD4L I hear you, I'm checking my email compulsively even though it's Dec. 9!!

[SRPlus]

Pink Moscato and Fuller House!

I am definitely also checking my admission status compulsively for any updates on my admission though I finalized all of my applications last Monday.

(And one will be finalized sometime next week when I physically bring them my transcript because the one I sent electronically from the school I graduated from AND paid $20 for got lost somewhere).

[Sanshui]

with you. Don't worry too much. As long as you submit you application, there is nearly nothing that you could change. We wait and we will get our offer.

[avflinsch]

Pretty much nothing you can do except wait, I found that out when I applied for the masters program.

I submitted my PhD app on December 13, which is about a month before the deadline of Jan 15 - I know that nothing important is going to happen until mid January, but even still I keep checking to see if the LORs have been submitted, even though all of the writers stated that they will be writing them over the term break.

 

[DBear]

I realized I'm not dealing, AT ALL lol, so started a thread for unadulterated anxiety attacks (maybe that is me dealing... Dunno)

[PhDorBUST]

On 12/20/2016 at 11:51 AM, avflinsch said:

Pretty much nothing you can do except wait, I found that out when I applied for the masters program.

I submitted my PhD app on December 13, which is about a month before the deadline of Jan 15 - I know that nothing important is going to happen until mid January, but even still I keep checking to see if the LORs have been submitted, even though all of the writers stated that they will be writing them over the term break.

 

 

I hear you on that. Waiting to hear back about my masters program was hell...waiting to find out about phd program acceptance is just more of an inner circle of hell. 

To deal, try to find what works for you. Some people like adult coloring books (not like coloring in porn LOL but coloring mandalas and stuff), cleaning, organizing something, etc. I'm trying to teach myself how to crochet. Whenever I feel a panic attack coming I get down on the floor and let my dogs lick my face and make me feel like no matter what I still have them so its fine  

I never thought interviews were such a huge component for the decision, but after being on this site it seems like interviews and even whole weekend interview excursions are a thing. After spending so much money, is anyone else NOT looking forward to the cost of a campus visit? From Florida to Ohio, Chicago, North Carolina, Texas...shit. I can't afford that. Here's to hoping they think I'm so awesome they just let me in...

[eternalwait]

I'll start a summer job on January 2, so hopefully that will help me distract a bit. 

And I daily check the application websites too. 

 

[PhDorBUST]

3 minutes ago, eternalwait said:

I'll start a summer job on January 2, so hopefully that will help me distract a bit. 

And I daily check the application websites too. 

 

 

I've been checking the application status portals like 5 times a day. I've thought about getting a job....meh. I've got my whole life to start working again lololol

What will you be doing?

[eternalwait]

Besided earning some money (that honestly I really need), it would keep my mind busy in something else. But until then, I have around 10 days of holidays to spend the entire day thinking on when my results will come. I estimate at least one month until then, based on the previous year's results.