Venting Thread

[Silabus]

4 minutes ago, natalielouise said:

Also, I'm glad this thread exists. I have gotten rejected from 3 schools and am waiting to hear back from 7. I feel like I made a lot of mistakes in the application process -- I have not even graduated from undergrad, my GRE scores are mediocre (could have taken a year off and focused on the test in the interim), and I don't think I made good choices in what schools/programs to apply to. I applied to a good mix of high and low tier schools, but I think I could have done more research and picked better programs where I have a better chance of getting accepted. UGH. I thought I would feel better once I just got it "out of my hands," but instead I'm agonizing over what I could have done better. Hearing rejections is super super hard while trying to finish my degrees. LUCKILY, I have done all of the difficult work already and this semester is not too bad. If I get rejected from every program this year I think I will regroup and reapply in the fall. Good luck to everyone, and I totally feel all of you <3 we will be okay!

I'm with you! I'm in the last year of my MA so during the application process I was working on my thesis and doing my classes. I too was like, "I'll be happy when this is all done and out of my hands!" So maybe I made some mistakes. I'm not sure. There's still 8 more schools to hear from though so I hope at least one of them pans out. I hope at least one pans out for both of us, all of us!

[Silabus]

7 minutes ago, orphic_mel528 said:

I've applied to six PhD programs and haven't heard a peep out of any of them. One is an implied rejection, I believe. The rest, from what I can tell from last year's survey, won't start sending out word until next week or later.

I have to say, the notion of rejection doesn't bother me nearly as much as the lack of consideration inherent in not saying anything at all. There shouldn't be a single person in any admissions office who isn't aware of how important this is to people and what it means to people. It's really not right.

I totally agree with you here! It's a really nerve wracking experience to start with but we also put money into submitting those applications. At least send some kind of generic rejection letter. Letting people just stand around and wait is not cool.

[orphic_mel528]

5 minutes ago, Silabus said:

I totally agree with you here! It's a really nerve wracking experience to start with but we also put money into submitting those applications. At least send some kind of generic rejection letter. Letting people just stand around and wait is not cool.

I'm fine with waiting a reasonable time, but I heard stories about people getting rejection emails or letters MONTHS after replies were due. That's just unreasonable. 

My husband said before, "It's like going for a job interview and they never call you back."

I said, "Yeah, except I don't send $100 bill with my job applications."

[Silabus]

5 minutes ago, orphic_mel528 said:

I'm fine with waiting a reasonable time, but I heard stories about people getting rejection emails or letters MONTHS after replies were due. That's just unreasonable. 

My husband said before, "It's like going for a job interview and they never call you back."

I said, "Yeah, except I don't send $100 bill with my job applications."

Months?! No, no, no, that's awful. And you're totally right! We spent money on these applications.

[Straparlare]

Clearly, my issues aren't as bad as some of you but between my mom asking when I'll have a job (or at least a future direction) and my long term boyfriend getting a job at Google, I feel like a failure. Plus, you know, the regular "I'm probably gonna get rejected from everywhere" angst. I'll just go wait in a corner....

[anxiousphd]

7 hours ago, natalielouise said:

Also, I'm glad this thread exists. I have gotten rejected from 3 schools and am waiting to hear back from 7. I feel like I made a lot of mistakes in the application process -- I have not even graduated from undergrad, my GRE scores are mediocre (could have taken a year off and focused on the test in the interim), and I don't think I made good choices in what schools/programs to apply to. I applied to a good mix of high and low tier schools, but I think I could have done more research and picked better programs where I have a better chance of getting accepted. UGH. I thought I would feel better once I just got it "out of my hands," but instead I'm agonizing over what I could have done better. Hearing rejections is super super hard while trying to finish my degrees. LUCKILY, I have done all of the difficult work already and this semester is not too bad. If I get rejected from every program this year I think I will regroup and reapply in the fall. Good luck to everyone, and I totally feel all of you <3 we will be okay!

If it's any consolation, I was in the same place two years ago. I ended up at a funded MA close to my family.

Just yesterday, I was looking over the first paper I wrote in grad school, and my writing now is like that of a different person. If you end up with an MA offer instead of a PhD (though I know how disappointing that is) it may actually be the best thing for you. Either way, no one knows what they're doing the first time they apply... and some of us aren't that sure what we're doing the second time around. 

[brontebitch]

1 hour ago, anxiousgrad said:

If it's any consolation, I was in the same place two years ago. I ended up at a funded MA close to my family.

Just yesterday, I was looking over the first paper I wrote in grad school, and my writing now is like that of a different person. If you end up with an MA offer instead of a PhD (though I know how disappointing that is) it may actually be the best thing for you. Either way, no one knows what they're doing the first time they apply... and some of us aren't that sure what we're doing the second time around. 

For sure. I applied to only one MA program about a week ago because I was really concerned I wouldn't get into any of the other programs I applied to, and as long as I receive funding, I will be really happy to accept the offer (Villanova). If I don't get in there or anywhere else, I will definitely apply to more funded MA programs next year and just a few PhD programs. One of my letter writers/advisor told me to apply to MA programs instead because I'm so young and it might be a better fit, but I didn't listen to her and I really wish I had. Thank you, I feel a lot better knowing that not everyone is perfect lol. I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't know what to do. 

[Yanaka]

Honestly I'm feeling very weird about this whole process. I am sad I'm not getting in anywhere, and in the meantime I'm kind of relieved. I know that admissions are partly arbitrary and partly very thought-out decisions, so I'm telling myself that I'm just not ready for a PhD yet. You guys shouldn't beat yourself up this much--they haven't selected you but they also know what's best for you, too. Or at least I like to think so. 

However, my trying to be positive and dynamic is not a complete success. I'm panicking at the idea that I won't have anything planned for after I graduate, and I feel like an octopus. I'm looking at all of my options, and it's great to have options, but I don't know how to prioritize, how to split my time between planning and working for school, and I am feeling awkward with asking my profs to submit letters of recommendations again for MA degrees. Also, I don't know when or if I should give notice to my landlord, because what if I end up having to stay in Paris until the end of this year? I'd have to go through apartment hunting again and paying fees and stuff. 

So much to do. And I thought applying was the busiest part... at least I knew (almost) exaclty what to do, back then...

Edited February 11, 2017 by Yanaka

[Silabus]

1 hour ago, Yanaka said:

Honestly I'm feeling very weird about this whole process. I am sad I'm not getting in anywhere, and in the meantime I'm kind of relieved. I know that admissions are partly arbitrary and partly very thought-out decisions, so I'm telling myself that I'm just not ready for a PhD yet. You guys shouldn't beat yourself up this much--they haven't selected you but they also know what's best for you, too. Or at least I like to think so. 

However, my trying to be positive and dynamic is not a complete success. I'm panicking at the idea that I won't have anything planned for after I graduate, and I feel like an octopus. I'm looking at all of my options, and it's great to have options, but I don't know how to prioritize, how to split my time between planning and working for school, and I am feeling awkward with asking my profs to submit letters of recommendations again for MA degrees. Also, I don't know when or if I should give notice to my landlord, because what if I end up having to stay in Paris until the end of this year? I'd have to go through apartment hunting again and paying fees and stuff. 

So much to do. And I thought applying was the busiest part... at least I knew (almost) exaclty what to do, back then...

I just want to say first and foremost: You're living in Paris?! Why would you want to leave?!

Beyond that. I think a lot of us have similar worries. You plunge all this time, money, and effort into applying to these programs. Then you have to wait. Meanwhile, you're one acceptance letter away from uprooting your whole life and moving to wherever. It's super stressful. I also understand your feeling awkward. I'm also wondering to myself what the right approach is if I have to ask them to write me letters again. Like: Oh I didn't get in this time, but if you could do it one more time I'd be grateful! The come back stories some people have of getting rejected by all the schools they applied to the first year and then the next year they get into Columbia are really uplifting.

I mean, I'd rather get into a program (any program at this point) the first go-around but it's nice to know that the more experience you have with applying the better your results seem to be.

[Yanaka]

Hahahaha I know @Silabus . I really need to move to the US (need to turn back to my roots in a philosophical and personal means to better understand who I am--yes, I am a romantic soul) but I am really thinking that I might regret that decision!  

Yeah hopefully I'll get in next time. But hopefully I'll have the great chance to get into an MA this year, too! 

 

[Silabus]

@Yanaka

Ha ha! I get that! I've moved away to New Mexico for my MA that I'm finishing up and it made me realize how much I actually did like Texas. But, I can say for certain that it is good to get away from your roots even if it means coming back to them--because at least you've got more perspective now.

I think you will! I hope you will! I want all of us to get into programs! Also, I've applied to Cornell too! So I'm with you there!

[ratanegra19]

6 hours ago, anxiousgrad said:

Just yesterday, I was looking over the first paper I wrote in grad school, and my writing now is like that of a different person. If you end up with an MA offer instead of a PhD (though I know how disappointing that is) it may actually be the best thing for you. Either way, no one knows what they're doing the first time they apply... and some of us aren't that sure what we're doing the second time around. 

@natalielouise, I can also speak from experience on this--the first time I was applying to grad school I had no idea what I was doing. I knew what I wanted, but I was coming back from nearly 5 years of living abroad and was hopelessly out of touch with academic culture. Heheh, back then I didn't even know that this forum existed--all that stood between me and utter failure was the fact that some of my old undergrad professors remembered me fondly and a battered old Kaplan GRE prep book.

By the grace of God, I somehow found my way into WWU's MA program, and I'll be finishing up in June. Although a PhD program straight after a BA would have FELT more prestigious, I recognize now that there is no way in hell I would have been ready. These two years of studying my MA have been immeasurably helpful in getting my head into the "grad school game". Plus, an MA gives you a chance to present at some of the "big boy" conferences, get some practical teaching experience, and maybe even publish. PLUS, a lot of PhD programs will let you transfer a year of credits, or at least let you teach right out of the gate, when you enter with an MA.

All told, if I could go and do it over again, I would still have done the MA before the PhD--I wish you the best of luck in getting what you want, but don't feel bad if you end up doing the Master's first!

Edited February 11, 2017 by ratanegra19

[phoebusrising]

Honestly it's killing me. I only applied to 5 programs, partly because I kinda thought that would be fine but mostly because applications are super expensive. I've heard from 0 of them, but BC, UConn, and Brown have all sent out at least some responses. It's been at least two weeks since some BC applicant heard, so I'm assuming it's an implied rejection but I don't KNOW that, you know? Like I can't help but hope and that's what sucks because the longer it goes on the more down on myself I get and it's just gonna make getting the formal rejection that much worse. 

I don't really have another plan, like I deferred my acceptance to a MA program but I don't know if they're going to offer me the TA-ship I would need in order to do it, plus it's one of those programs where deferring is just like submitting the application again and waiting to hear, again.

I hate waiting.

[tvethiopia]

y'all pittsburgh is ON. MY. LAST. NERVE. people are getting rejections via the POSTAL SERVICE at this point and still no mail, no email, no portal update. i realize i must be rejected, but at least have the decency to tell a girl. damn.

[ratanegra19]

11 minutes ago, tvethiopia said:

y'all pittsburgh is ON. MY. LAST. NERVE. people are getting rejections via the POSTAL SERVICE at this point and still no mail, no email, no portal update. i realize i must be rejected, but at least have the decency to tell a girl. damn.

Seriously, what is up with these programs using postal mail? Like, for anything? It's just silly--especially if they're doing it in lieu of any electronic communication whatsoever.

I mean, at this point they could send a f***ing telegraph and it would be better...

[tvethiopia]

3 minutes ago, ratanegra19 said:

Seriously, what is up with these programs using postal mail? Like, for anything? It's just silly--especially if they're doing it in lieu of any electronic communication whatsoever.

I mean, at this point they could send a f***ing telegraph and it would be better...

right?! i mean, an online application status system ALREADY EXISTS, all you gotta do is update it. i'm trying to tell myself they if they don't have their sh*t together enough to handle admissions then maybe i'm better off, but that's just me being bitter and resentful.

[phoebusrising]

1 hour ago, tvethiopia said:

right?! i mean, an online application status system ALREADY EXISTS, all you gotta do is update it. i'm trying to tell myself they if they don't have their sh*t together enough to handle admissions then maybe i'm better off, but that's just me being bitter and resentful.

Not only does it already exist, we are required to use it to apply and they have to use it to access our applications, it makes no sense at all to send responses through the postal mail. 

It's also ridiculous that programs wait so long between sending out acceptances and sending out rejections; if they're just gonna send a form letter anyway it's not like it would take much time.

[jrockford27]

I was shut out completely the first year I applied.  I took a couple of months to brush myself off, poured myself into other interesting things, took a night job as a karaoke host at a neighborhood bar. It really hurts, it was absolutely devastating, but it's important to remember that a rejection is not reflective of your worth as a scholar or as a person.  Oftentimes it's as capricious as who happens to be on the adcom that year.  If the committee assignments in the department had been meted out differently, you might be in at your dream school.  Instead a person who dislikes your subfield was on the adcom and you find yourself out.  It really can be that simple.  

When it got back around to June, I started looking at the app process from different angles.  Consulted with my letter writers.  Looked at other schools I hadn't even previously thought of because I wasn't perhaps looking at my work in the right way.  I found two programs that I hadn't even really considered before because I wasn't looking at programs for the right reasons that turned out to be dream schools.  I got into one, where I'm at now, and was waitlisted at the other, and had a couple of other admittances to boot.  

The point is, it's difficult, but don't let a year of rejections discourage you from your ultimate goal.  Take another year to cultivate yourself and your interests, and also take a couple of months not thinking about application B.S., which will give you a fresh set of eyes when you start the process again come May or June.

[Yanaka]

Can I complain about financial aid and opportunities information for masters degrees? I've just spent the entire day in my bed, figuring out the subtext on school's program pages, and trying to understand how the basics work. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

So now I'm waiting for my pizza, which I will also consume in my bed and perfectly aware that I will regret eating it 5 min. later--probably while eating it, honestly.

[ratanegra19]

1 hour ago, jrockford27 said:

I was shut out completely the first year I applied.  I took a couple of months to brush myself off, poured myself into other interesting things, took a night job as a karaoke host at a neighborhood bar. It really hurts, it was absolutely devastating, but it's important to remember that a rejection is not reflective of your worth as a scholar or as a person.  Oftentimes it's as capricious as who happens to be on the adcom that year.  If the committee assignments in the department had been meted out differently, you might be in at your dream school.  Instead a person who dislikes your subfield was on the adcom and you find yourself out.  It really can be that simple.  

Hear, hear--I know of a guy in my program a few years ago, a really great student, who applied to ten top-tier programs during the last year of his MA and got rejected from all of them. The following year, with the same scholarship and the same project, he reapplied and was accepted to ALL TEN. It's just crazy the way they do it--maybe two similar applications happen to be next to each other and yours is second rather than first, maybe the perfect professor is on sabbatical that year...it might even come down to whether or not they've had lunch when they look at your application. It's a peer-reviewed and often logical process, but far from foolproof.

[Dr. Old Bill]

38 minutes ago, Yanaka said:

 

So now I'm waiting for my pizza, which I will also consume in my bed and perfectly aware that I will regret eating it 5 min. later--probably while eating it, honestly.

I wonder where pizza stands on the "foods you crave but immediately regret eating" scale? Pretty high, I'd say: somewhere around pints of ice cream and (for Canadians) poutine...

23 minutes ago, ratanegra19 said:

Hear, hear--I know of a guy in my program a few years ago, a really great student, who applied to ten top-tier programs during the last year of his MA and got rejected from all of them. The following year, with the same scholarship and the same project, he reapplied and was accepted to ALL TEN. It's just crazy the way they do it--maybe two similar applications happen to be next to each other and yours is second rather than first, maybe the perfect professor is on sabbatical that year...

I took a real risk this year by having a writing sample about the exact same work as I did when I was largely shut out two years ago. It was a completely different paper, and on a different aspect of that work...but I was certainly concerned that if adcoms had a bias against the work itself two years ago, the same might be true today. It's hard to say whether that's the case or not, but since my first result was a positive one, I can't help but wonder if it's just a case of different eyes, different adcom, different circumstances etc. more so than anything else.

[anxiousphd]

I really need everyone who is not from an admissions committee to STOP. EMAILING. ME.

[Yanaka]

Hear, hear @anxiousgrad

[JessicaLange]

On a side note, I'm super jealous of the user name @VirginiaWoolf. Yeah, it's just awkward because all of my friends and family know that I've applied and they keep asking if I've heard anything and ehck. I got accepted to an MA program, so that's good. But there's almost no funding so I really don't want to end up there.

[Silabus]

So, funny story. I've applied to the University of Wisconsin- Milwaukee's PhD program. I got a rejection letter in the mail today. However...it's not addressed to me. It's addressed to someone with my same last name. I tried calling today but wouldn't you know it the lady who handles that stuff isn't working today. I'll have to call back tomorrow. Now, my assumption is that if they're in the habit of mailing out rejections and my name was on a list then I've still been rejected...I just received the wrong letter.

I'll know for sure tomorrow. I sort of hope there was just confusion. I also plan to use this as leverage: Excuse me but because of your mistake you have to accept me now.

It might not work but I can try right? Give them a laugh? They'll remember me next year? Maybe?