What's better: living alone or finding a random roommate?

[jaaaayciee]

I'm now in the boat of patiently waiting for responses to see if I got into any of my MA programs. While I am waiting, I am considering what my options are for living situations. I definitely would want to rent out my own apartment compared to staying in student housing, but when I look at the prices of a one bedroom and two bedrooms, it makes me wonder if things might be better for me to find a random roommate depending on where I live or just try to swing it alone. 

What are everyone's thoughts?

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

This really depends on what you value more. If you don't want the potential of a bad living situation (due to who you live with) or really need a space that is completely your own, your own place might be the way to go. However, if you feel the need to save a bit more of your stipend and don't want a bad living situation (due to only being able to afford a not great place), go with a roommate. 

If you do go with a roommate, I would do things to try to mitigate issues. If you are someone who needs a clean place, communicate that with your roommate. Open communication and working together can make your living situation a lot better than it (potentially) would be otherwise. 

I know for myself, I have a small loan that I'm paying off and don't want a car (places close to school tend to cost more) so I'll probably need a flatmate. 

[khigh]

I hate roommates.  I'm talking seething, blood boiling, this is Survivor and one of us is getting kicked off the island, hate. I currently rent (alone) in a city that is typically more expensive, but not NYC expensive in an amazing part of town for relatively cheap. I could do it on my stipend if I needed to.  But, there are compromises. I have a basement level apartment with drafty windows and the pipes sometimes leak. I don't have a responsive landlord, but that also means he leaves me alone. I don't have to deal with anyone else in my space and for me, that is worth every penny.  My boyfriend will be moving home soon, but that is the only roommate I will ever have again.  Roommates are worse than children stuffed full of coffee and chocolate with no bedtime in sight.

Take my comments with a grain of salt.  I've had horrible roommates in the past and I would never want to live through that again. But, you may find good roommates and it will be like the TV Series Friends. 

[ClassicsCandidate]

I agree with both @GreenEyedTrombonist and @khigh for similar reasons. 

Saving money is the only way I would ever live with another person again, and I hate living with people. It depends on how much it may affect my schoolwork, however, if I had roommates. I'm also engaged, so I live with my fiance, and that sometimes makes it harder to find a roommate situation where they'll be okay getting a couple living in the same space. However, I know I'm a difficult person to live with so I never proposition to be a roommate first, and I always warn people I'm not easy to live with (mostly because of my anxiety and my high intensity when it comes to school - like, I need complete silence if I'm studying for big exams, etc.) and I've never found anyone I could live with aside from my current partner that I didn't want to defenestrate. Different issues with all of them but with my Ph.D. programs I know I won't be able to live with other people. It's mostly about knowing yourself and your living/study habits. If they're able to mesh well with someone else, then a roommate might be a way to go for you! I've just never had any luck with anyone other than my fiance. (Our last roommates were not good people, and one of them ended up in jail after he left here, so living with other people has made my anxiety skyrocket more than it had in undergrad). 

My advice, overall, is this: make sure you talk everything out before moving in together, especially about things like dishes (especially if you have a dishwasher - I had roommates who NEVER did their dishes, even though we had one; I can understand a couple of days maybe but a full two weeks was pushing it for me), laundry if you have a washer/dryer in unit, study habits, are they a morning person or a night person, do they need constant background noise on like music or the TV, etc. If you feel like you mesh well, I'd say go for it. If you don't feel like anyone is gonna be a considerate roommate, I would say the extra dollars for rent is probably worth it.  

[ShewantsthePhD101]

I've loved having roommates. Right after my undergrad I lived in a 6 bedroom house with 5 other people. Rent was dirt cheap. I was good friends with 2/5 and the other 3 were fine - we just didn't overlap much. It was INCREDIBLY affordable, I had a huge room with plenty of space to myself, and having people around, even if I didn't talk to them, was a comfort. We had our squabbles as all people living together will do, but overall it was a pleasant experience I'd happily repeat.

[lemma]

Unless financial troubles hit hard, I would never have a non-romantic partner roommate ever again. I had two years of miserable housing assignments at college. It weighed on me daily. 

[Shiji E. Moji]

I had a very good experience in my previous grad program with two roommates. We needed a lower rent and were very lucky to find affordable housing...when split 3 ways.

However, I do want to say that I've had terrible experiences with roommates. My way around a terrible roommate is to 1) find people from your future uni or in your future program (facebook is actually very convenient for this) and 2) be upfront and honest about your ticks and preferences and ask about theirs. Don't be afraid to say you wouldn't make a good roommate for someone (even when it's really them!) and continue the search elsewhere. 

I can't emphasize enough that this is YOUR success and happiness on the line. Be selfish during this process but remain flexible where possible. Although... if you can get a place for yourself that meets your needs, why not?

[rising_star]

I've had both good and bad experiences with roommates. The first year of my MA, I lived with an undergrad senior and she was an awesome roommate. So much so that I later went to her wedding and we are still friends. We met courtesy of an ad in the weekly alternative paper. The next year, I lived with other MA and PhD students I found through an online site (roommates.com?). It was a pretty miserable experience and not worth the incredibly cheap rent we had.

So, it can be worth the savings but it might not be. In my experience, having just one other roommate was ideal. Now that I'm working, I doubt I'll ever have a roommate that isn't my current partner (we don't currently live together). I just can't see living with anyone else, but that's because of the financial security working full-time has afforded me.

[surprise_quiche]

I can relate here and I'm in the same boat in terms of living situations next fall.

My first two years of undergraduate I lived with 1-2 other people I hardly knew and it was awful since none of us had any wish to keep our relationship positive, unfortunately. I took a year commuting from my parents house to save money, and this year I started living with one of my best friends since middle school. I know a lot of people's experiences with living with friends tend to devolve into the destruction of the friendship, but our situation works well because we love each other and want to keep that. BUT AGAIN THIS IS NOT THE CASE FOR MOST PEOPLE I'VE TALKED TO.

Now moving on I'm not sure if I'd be able to go back to a shitty roommate situation if that was the case. But I might have to in order to save money. 

[ashley623]

Oh man. You guys are freaking me out.

My mom suggested (if I can afford it, obviously) renting out a small house in my name and then (with the landlord's permission) renting out the other 1-2 additional rooms so I can pick my roommates, as that is what she did. Ideally, I would like to find a roommate before moving that I'm super compatible with and everything is sunshine and rainbows, and we rent out a house together with both of our names on the lease. 

[pratibha93]

On 1/4/2018 at 6:35 PM, jaaaayciee said:

I'm now in the boat of patiently waiting for responses to see if I got into any of my MA programs. While I am waiting, I am considering what my options are for living situations. I definitely would want to rent out my own apartment compared to staying in student housing, but when I look at the prices of a one bedroom and two bedrooms, it makes me wonder if things might be better for me to find a random roommate depending on where I live or just try to swing it alone. 

What are everyone's thoughts?

It totally depends on you. If you want to live alone then you must be ready for the expenses which will come in your way daily. If  you want to save money,then you should choose your roommates wisely. You might be not comfortable with all which is natural. Its better to make a set of rules for the roommates if you are looking for sharing accommodation, this will help you mostly. Also you can check out the cheap and reasonable accommodation on sites like Amberstudent which will help you find roommates also. Good Luck

Edited January 16, 2018 by rising_star
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[MarineBluePsy]

Roommates only save you money if you find one that values saving the same way you do.  If you are the type to turn off lights when not in a room, unplug appliances, close off rooms that don't need to be heated, minimize the ac, etc and your roommate isn't then you won't save money and there will be a lot of tense discussions or passive aggressive behavior.  I will pay any price to live alone and not be bothered by anyone else's lifestyle choices.  This also means when I'm stressed and overwhelmed my home is always a peaceful oasis, never chaotic.  That is truly priceless.

[spectastic]

^ person has a point.. I live with roommates who leave the lights on, and have the fan running all night when they sleep. However, I still save a boat load of money with a 4x2 shared house, compared to living a lone. The bittersweetness of my situation was that when I was locked in my lease, my friends had already locked in theirs, so I had to scavenge craigslist to look for roommates. I've had good roommate situations and really bad ones (like omfg bro..), so my 2 cents is to take every opportunity to screen your potential roommates. I'm not friends with my current roommates. In fact, I don't even like them. None of them have a clear direction in life. We don't talk to each other. No shared interests. But at least we keep to ourselves and don't interfere with each other's spaces (it could be a lot worse). Despite that, I'd be paying 2.5-3x the amount I'm paying now if I were to live alone. It depends on the person what's more valuable: comfort, space, money, location, convenience...

[jazzontherocks]

From my experiences in Melbourne, Australia and Pasadena, CA, I first came to live in my chosen apartments by myself for a couple months, then picked a classmate I've become good friends with (or a friend I've gotten to know outside of school) who happened to be looking for a place to stay later on. I've been informed by older friends and relatives who have gone to college earlier to never share a place with someone random. There were cases where my friends had to move back home, and I ended up having the place to myself again, and it felt great and liberating, but overall, I've had a wonderful time with the 2 friends I got to live with.

Edited January 28, 2018 by jazzontherocks

[missmangram]

Unless it is absolutely financially necessary that you have to live with a roommate, I'd suggest living alone. College is stressful enough with roommates - now add the even more stressful factors of grad school. The last thing that you are going to want to stress about is whether or not your roommate was mature enough to take out the trash when it was full, or they don't throw away their expire food, or they NEVER put the dishes in the dishwasher - god forbid they actually run the machine (I'm totally not speaking from 4 years of awful roommate experiences...). 

I know at least for me, I am the type of person who likes to eliminate unnecessary stress in every form possible. So if you know that for any reason a roommate would stress you out, I would suggest living alone. 

[exidwhere]

I guess what I can add is that even "screening" can be deceiving since people can present themselves differently from their actual living behavior. During my last year of undergrad, for whatever reason, I decided to try out the roommate thing, and oh gawd, it's one of the worst decisions I made in my entire life. I chose two people who I thought I knew, and during the "screening process", I asked them whether they're clean and they both answered yes. When we started to living together, however, I found out that their action differed a lot from their words. For instance, one of them never washed the dishes immediately and would leave the dishes in the sink sometimes for two plus weeks. In addition, both of them love to fill trashcans but never take the trash out. After they fill the living room trashcan, they would move on throwing stuff into the bathroom trash-bin (I once saw a packaging envelope filling up the bathroom bin). Honestly, I never even got the chance to use these two trashcans because they are always filled (note, one of them even claim to be an environmentalist). When I asked them to clean their dishes/spaces or take out the trash, both of them would say how busy they are with school. Seriously? They made this excuse when one of them can spend two plus hours on the phone everyday just chit-chatting and the other was taking time-off from school.

This seriously impacted my grades and my emotional well-being, and because of this, I never want to live with any other people ever again. Getting good grades and being in a good emotional state are things you need to succeed during and post grad-schools. So unless you are willing to take the risk, I would say avoid roommates at all cost.

[elgerrouth]

having a roommate make live comfortable. You not only share your rent but also your thoughts and happiness, specially when you study away from home.

[Ksu]

Living alone of course. If you are asking yourself this question then clearly you prefer living alone. My last roommate did not pay rent for last two months she lived with me and refused to move out so I was stuck with an entire price tag and she refused to apply for any cash assistance programs to help with rent and bills. Do you really want that? 

[Ksu]

On 2/12/2018 at 2:16 PM, exidwhere said:

I guess what I can add is that even "screening" can be deceiving since people can present themselves differently from their actual living behavior. During my last year of undergrad, for whatever reason, I decided to try out the roommate thing, and oh gawd, it's one of the worst decisions I made in my entire life. I chose two people who I thought I knew, and during the "screening process", I asked them whether they're clean and they both answered yes. When we started to living together, however, I found out that their action differed a lot from their words. For instance, one of them never washed the dishes immediately and would leave the dishes in the sink sometimes for two plus weeks. In addition, both of them love to fill trashcans but never take the trash out. After they fill the living room trashcan, they would move on throwing stuff into the bathroom trash-bin (I once saw a packaging envelope filling up the bathroom bin). Honestly, I never even got the chance to use these two trashcans because they are always filled (note, one of them even claim to be an environmentalist). When I asked them to clean their dishes/spaces or take out the trash, both of them would say how busy they are with school. Seriously? They made this excuse when one of them can spend two plus hours on the phone everyday just chit-chatting and the other was taking time-off from school.

This seriously impacted my grades and my emotional well-being, and because of this, I never want to live with any other people ever again. Getting good grades and being in a good emotional state are things you need to succeed during and post grad-schools. So unless you are willing to take the risk, I would say avoid roommates at all cost.

Agreed, but one university only has two people occupancy policy at the dorms even in apartments.

[Cogni]

I can share my experience of living, it's just a particular case but it's the explanation of my point of view.
1) never live with more than 4 people in 1 room, even if it's big)) too much to cope with. Ofc if you're not a person with endless patience))
2) if you're a shy introvert like me, find a roommate like you - quiet, thinking and attentive. Though they could be a boring mate)) it's more important to be able to rest in quietness than to hang out/listen to terrible music all the time.
3) the closer to the exams/diploma, the better to start living alone and visit friends on weekends.