ak48

Sounds like a classic case of Imposter Syndrome: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome Looks like nothing really serious is going on in your situation, and you're just overanalyzing everything. Relax!

Not rude at all. In fact, I think I would encourage it. Like the others have said, it's like a job interview. By taking initiative, you are demonstrating to them that you are acutally interested, instead of submitting this in a pile of others.

Not having spent a single minute as an actual grad student (starting a PhD in September), I'd venture to say that like everything else in this world, the article has some correct points but also flaws. I do believe that framing and mindset have a very important role in how you perceive something. If everything you read/hear and everybody you know goes on about how bad X is, then you are probably also going to dislike X, or at the very least, evaluate things with reference to it. Also, the difference between a misfortune being "a setback to learn from" and "a miserable, experience-defining moment" is almost entirely attitude dependent. In this sense, I agree with the article. However, at the same time I think it is insultingly simplistic to say that the "only reason" one hates grad school life is because that impression exists among other people. For one, not everybody "hates" grad school. Second, I'm sure there are actual, objective drawbacks to it, like all jobs in life. Here is a quote from the end of the article "I assumed graduate school was supposed to be gratifying and therefore it largely became so. I was unaware that graduate school was supposed to be a dreary pool of loathing, and therefore it was not." This is an elementary school student's understanding of life and cause and effect.

Really digged the Simpsons Reference in Kamp Krusty, but the podcast dialogue seems a little too "cutesy wootsy" to me. Probably give it a few more chances.

I was given an iPad as a college graduate gift but I felt the same way you did: it's a really nice toy, but I couldn't use it regularly for "real" work. However, I gave it to my sister who's started college, and she has been taking notes on it and studying from it, so I guess it depends on the person. What sort of functionality do you need from a tablet? Paper-reading is one, but I'd reckon that any real computation (such as with Matlab, LabView) would require a laptop for computing power. I could see maybe using a tablet to run the instrumentation, but the iPad doesn't even have a USB port.

Yale has 2 forms of campus graduate housing: HGS (Housing for Graduate Students?) - very college-like dorm plan. Meal plan mandatory, which is served in a dining hall buffet-style. I believe you can also use the swipes at undergraduate residential colleges. This meal plan is expensive and not popular. HHH - (Helen Hadley Hall). University owned, but no meal plan required. Lots of Asians, for better or worse.

Have you considered selling your stuff now and buying replacements at your school? I had forgotten that this was an option when I was considering beds, desks, etc (none of them have sentimental value to me, nor are they of exceptional quality.)

Never learned STATA but took a stats course in undergrad (I'm a physics major) that used a lot of R to do Markov modeling. I liked it a lot. Kinda reminds me (in a good way) of Matlab in terms of ease of use, straightforwardness of coding, and package/documentation support.I

The older students made it simple for us incoming ones: "Spend the 1st year at the (dorm-like) graduate housing. Then live in an apartment the next 4-5 years" Socially, it just makes more sense and really fosters interdisciplinary social mixing.

This is indeed a sticky situation. There is a risk that even if he does agree to write you one, it may be tepid and lackluster. I'd suggest going to him in more of an advisory role. Go to him asking for his opinions on graduate school, whether it's worth it or not, because it may be something you want to pursue down the road and you're trying to get the most info possible. Then you can gauge whether he'd write you a good letter. I think him feeling (and possibly being) an active part of your decision process will lessen the feeling of betrayal that you are fearful of,

you're welcome! given that none of us know which conference you speak of (and thus prestige/benefits of going) nor your advisor's funding situation, i'd be hard pressed to imagine anyboy giving the deep wise insightful answer to a rather mundane problem

good to hear. you should've known she'd be supportive since she wrote you a rec

talk to your advisor!

You shouldn't be so afraid of possible criticism, especially when you need help. you seem to have a problem about creating the worst scenario and then believing that this is the only possibility. (I'll definitely fail this, my advisor will definitely be furious). It's unreasonable. Reach out and get help.

Wow, slow down and stop panicking! This whole self pitying and self aggrandizing "I'll quit now to save the university's money" drama talk isn't helping anyone. Decisions made in times of high emotion are usually terrible. The university and lab groups chose you because they thought you were qualified. Why dont you agree with them? First off, you haven't failed yet. Stop acting like it's a foregone conclusion. You have a whole damn MONTH. Second, many universities give students a second chance after failing a qual. Although these are typically examinations instead of research proposals, I don't think they'll go "ok you failed, bye" and kick you out the door immediately, especially if your PI will vouch for you. Third, have you reached out to your advisor? Older graduate students? Cohorts? I don't know what the rules are, but there should be leeway in talking about the process, if not the actual end results. Try to pinpoint what your roadblocks are and discussing them with others. Your advisor will be your biggest ally, make sure he/she knows your situation. After all, it's their job to provide mentorship and advice. Wallowing in self-defeating pity doesn't do a single thing for you! Go out and start talking to people, getting help, and pass the damn qual!