ArthChauc

I'm doing an ethnography for an undergraduate course based exclusively on this thread. Reading through 5000 posts has eaten up quite a bit of time, but it's been a blast.

Exactly what I was going to suggest.

Thank you for this!

You made a poor decision. This isn't the case of "screwing ethics" but a matter of what would have been most beneficial for your training. However, that said, the decision has been made, and does not foreclose the possibility that you will outperform in your chosen program.

So I got the OG bag by Lo & Sons in the mail on Thursday and have been using it non stop. It's an addiction, really. The bag is large, but not so large that I feel like I'm hauling luggage around all day. I got a navy blue one with gold hardware and a brown strap because I thought it read more "work bag" and less "carry on". It has an interior flap pocket specifically for a laptop (my 13-inch MacBook Pro fit perfectly) as well as a few more smaller interior pockets (I use them for my phone and sunglasses). There is plenty of room for a significant amount of library books (I returned six today and they fit perfectly but were, obviously, heavy) and there are two large exterior zip pockets that are good for anything else--I actually tucked a folder in one and left it unzipped and it worked really well. It comes with a thick, adjustable vinyl strap so you can wear it as a messenger and has a zip pocket on the bottom for storing things like gym shoes or whatnot (since it doubles for a gym back); I stuffed a bottle of water and Polar watch heart monitor in it with a pair of shoes and had room to spare. 
 
I think the best thing about the bag is that it doesn't read "this is my school bag"--it's exceptionally functional and still very stylish. I know that style matters less to some people out there, but I can say that I've owned a NorthFace backpack as well and I'd pick this bag over it any day. It's so much easier than carrying a purse and a backpack and is perfect for commuting. What I will say is that I will not do a significant of walking around campus--I'll be taking public transit from my apartment--so a heavier, less ergonomic bag isn't too huge a detriment to me as I will be doing ten minutes walking to/from the bus stop and not hitching a ton of stuff (since I'll have an office on campus). 
 
A couple of you said that you have Longchamp bags, so I thought I'd do a comparison. I've been carrying the medium sized Longchamp that ​everyone seems to have. I've had my bag for about four years now and love it for days where all I need is a notebook, wallet, and laptop/charger. This bag is only comparable in that it's made from the same exterior material--nylon. The inside, however, is lined (mine is a gorgeous lavender color) and it is extremely padded so it protects the contents and also gives the bag significant structure--with nothing in it, the bag still stands up and holds shape without drooping or falling over. Also, there is a lot more storage with the Lo & Sons bag (much better than the droopy, single interior Longchamp pocket that holds nothing) and the extra cross body strap is nice to have. 
 
All in all, this bag is worth the money if you have it and want something that is fashionable and still functional. I would feel perfectly comfortable carrying this bag to a conference or even dinner with my friends because it reads as a messenger-sized bag. I actually would go as far as calling this my "holy grail" conference bag because there's tons of room for anything you might need, including the countless number of books I tend to pick up at conferences. It's also nice because I don't have to move my stuff constantly from one bag to another; with my Longchamp, I was always taking out my computer and school stuff anytime I wanted to put anything else in it (sweater, more books, etc.) and having to carry two bags. This bag is large enough that it fits a spare change of clothes plus everything I need on campus. 

I'm working for the Institute for Reading Development this summer. The pay is incredible and they're just about to finish up the hiring process. Google it and see if they're doing it in your town. 

So I got the OG bag by Lo & Sons in the mail on Thursday and have been using it non stop. It's an addiction, really. The bag is large, but not so large that I feel like I'm hauling luggage around all day. I got a navy blue one with gold hardware and a brown strap because I thought it read more "work bag" and less "carry on". It has an interior flap pocket specifically for a laptop (my 13-inch MacBook Pro fit perfectly) as well as a few more smaller interior pockets (I use them for my phone and sunglasses). There is plenty of room for a significant amount of library books (I returned six today and they fit perfectly but were, obviously, heavy) and there are two large exterior zip pockets that are good for anything else--I actually tucked a folder in one and left it unzipped and it worked really well. It comes with a thick, adjustable vinyl strap so you can wear it as a messenger and has a zip pocket on the bottom for storing things like gym shoes or whatnot (since it doubles for a gym back); I stuffed a bottle of water and Polar watch heart monitor in it with a pair of shoes and had room to spare. 
 
I think the best thing about the bag is that it doesn't read "this is my school bag"--it's exceptionally functional and still very stylish. I know that style matters less to some people out there, but I can say that I've owned a NorthFace backpack as well and I'd pick this bag over it any day. It's so much easier than carrying a purse and a backpack and is perfect for commuting. What I will say is that I will not do a significant of walking around campus--I'll be taking public transit from my apartment--so a heavier, less ergonomic bag isn't too huge a detriment to me as I will be doing ten minutes walking to/from the bus stop and not hitching a ton of stuff (since I'll have an office on campus). 
 
A couple of you said that you have Longchamp bags, so I thought I'd do a comparison. I've been carrying the medium sized Longchamp that ​everyone seems to have. I've had my bag for about four years now and love it for days where all I need is a notebook, wallet, and laptop/charger. This bag is only comparable in that it's made from the same exterior material--nylon. The inside, however, is lined (mine is a gorgeous lavender color) and it is extremely padded so it protects the contents and also gives the bag significant structure--with nothing in it, the bag still stands up and holds shape without drooping or falling over. Also, there is a lot more storage with the Lo & Sons bag (much better than the droopy, single interior Longchamp pocket that holds nothing) and the extra cross body strap is nice to have. 
 
All in all, this bag is worth the money if you have it and want something that is fashionable and still functional. I would feel perfectly comfortable carrying this bag to a conference or even dinner with my friends because it reads as a messenger-sized bag. I actually would go as far as calling this my "holy grail" conference bag because there's tons of room for anything you might need, including the countless number of books I tend to pick up at conferences. It's also nice because I don't have to move my stuff constantly from one bag to another; with my Longchamp, I was always taking out my computer and school stuff anytime I wanted to put anything else in it (sweater, more books, etc.) and having to carry two bags. This bag is large enough that it fits a spare change of clothes plus everything I need on campus. 

So I got the OG bag by Lo & Sons in the mail on Thursday and have been using it non stop. It's an addiction, really. The bag is large, but not so large that I feel like I'm hauling luggage around all day. I got a navy blue one with gold hardware and a brown strap because I thought it read more "work bag" and less "carry on". It has an interior flap pocket specifically for a laptop (my 13-inch MacBook Pro fit perfectly) as well as a few more smaller interior pockets (I use them for my phone and sunglasses). There is plenty of room for a significant amount of library books (I returned six today and they fit perfectly but were, obviously, heavy) and there are two large exterior zip pockets that are good for anything else--I actually tucked a folder in one and left it unzipped and it worked really well. It comes with a thick, adjustable vinyl strap so you can wear it as a messenger and has a zip pocket on the bottom for storing things like gym shoes or whatnot (since it doubles for a gym back); I stuffed a bottle of water and Polar watch heart monitor in it with a pair of shoes and had room to spare. 
 
I think the best thing about the bag is that it doesn't read "this is my school bag"--it's exceptionally functional and still very stylish. I know that style matters less to some people out there, but I can say that I've owned a NorthFace backpack as well and I'd pick this bag over it any day. It's so much easier than carrying a purse and a backpack and is perfect for commuting. What I will say is that I will not do a significant of walking around campus--I'll be taking public transit from my apartment--so a heavier, less ergonomic bag isn't too huge a detriment to me as I will be doing ten minutes walking to/from the bus stop and not hitching a ton of stuff (since I'll have an office on campus). 
 
A couple of you said that you have Longchamp bags, so I thought I'd do a comparison. I've been carrying the medium sized Longchamp that ​everyone seems to have. I've had my bag for about four years now and love it for days where all I need is a notebook, wallet, and laptop/charger. This bag is only comparable in that it's made from the same exterior material--nylon. The inside, however, is lined (mine is a gorgeous lavender color) and it is extremely padded so it protects the contents and also gives the bag significant structure--with nothing in it, the bag still stands up and holds shape without drooping or falling over. Also, there is a lot more storage with the Lo & Sons bag (much better than the droopy, single interior Longchamp pocket that holds nothing) and the extra cross body strap is nice to have. 
 
All in all, this bag is worth the money if you have it and want something that is fashionable and still functional. I would feel perfectly comfortable carrying this bag to a conference or even dinner with my friends because it reads as a messenger-sized bag. I actually would go as far as calling this my "holy grail" conference bag because there's tons of room for anything you might need, including the countless number of books I tend to pick up at conferences. It's also nice because I don't have to move my stuff constantly from one bag to another; with my Longchamp, I was always taking out my computer and school stuff anytime I wanted to put anything else in it (sweater, more books, etc.) and having to carry two bags. This bag is large enough that it fits a spare change of clothes plus everything I need on campus. 

So I got the OG bag by Lo & Sons in the mail on Thursday and have been using it non stop. It's an addiction, really. The bag is large, but not so large that I feel like I'm hauling luggage around all day. I got a navy blue one with gold hardware and a brown strap because I thought it read more "work bag" and less "carry on". It has an interior flap pocket specifically for a laptop (my 13-inch MacBook Pro fit perfectly) as well as a few more smaller interior pockets (I use them for my phone and sunglasses). There is plenty of room for a significant amount of library books (I returned six today and they fit perfectly but were, obviously, heavy) and there are two large exterior zip pockets that are good for anything else--I actually tucked a folder in one and left it unzipped and it worked really well. It comes with a thick, adjustable vinyl strap so you can wear it as a messenger and has a zip pocket on the bottom for storing things like gym shoes or whatnot (since it doubles for a gym back); I stuffed a bottle of water and Polar watch heart monitor in it with a pair of shoes and had room to spare. 
 
I think the best thing about the bag is that it doesn't read "this is my school bag"--it's exceptionally functional and still very stylish. I know that style matters less to some people out there, but I can say that I've owned a NorthFace backpack as well and I'd pick this bag over it any day. It's so much easier than carrying a purse and a backpack and is perfect for commuting. What I will say is that I will not do a significant of walking around campus--I'll be taking public transit from my apartment--so a heavier, less ergonomic bag isn't too huge a detriment to me as I will be doing ten minutes walking to/from the bus stop and not hitching a ton of stuff (since I'll have an office on campus). 
 
A couple of you said that you have Longchamp bags, so I thought I'd do a comparison. I've been carrying the medium sized Longchamp that ​everyone seems to have. I've had my bag for about four years now and love it for days where all I need is a notebook, wallet, and laptop/charger. This bag is only comparable in that it's made from the same exterior material--nylon. The inside, however, is lined (mine is a gorgeous lavender color) and it is extremely padded so it protects the contents and also gives the bag significant structure--with nothing in it, the bag still stands up and holds shape without drooping or falling over. Also, there is a lot more storage with the Lo & Sons bag (much better than the droopy, single interior Longchamp pocket that holds nothing) and the extra cross body strap is nice to have. 
 
All in all, this bag is worth the money if you have it and want something that is fashionable and still functional. I would feel perfectly comfortable carrying this bag to a conference or even dinner with my friends because it reads as a messenger-sized bag. I actually would go as far as calling this my "holy grail" conference bag because there's tons of room for anything you might need, including the countless number of books I tend to pick up at conferences. It's also nice because I don't have to move my stuff constantly from one bag to another; with my Longchamp, I was always taking out my computer and school stuff anytime I wanted to put anything else in it (sweater, more books, etc.) and having to carry two bags. This bag is large enough that it fits a spare change of clothes plus everything I need on campus. 

So I got the OG bag by Lo & Sons in the mail on Thursday and have been using it non stop. It's an addiction, really. The bag is large, but not so large that I feel like I'm hauling luggage around all day. I got a navy blue one with gold hardware and a brown strap because I thought it read more "work bag" and less "carry on". It has an interior flap pocket specifically for a laptop (my 13-inch MacBook Pro fit perfectly) as well as a few more smaller interior pockets (I use them for my phone and sunglasses). There is plenty of room for a significant amount of library books (I returned six today and they fit perfectly but were, obviously, heavy) and there are two large exterior zip pockets that are good for anything else--I actually tucked a folder in one and left it unzipped and it worked really well. It comes with a thick, adjustable vinyl strap so you can wear it as a messenger and has a zip pocket on the bottom for storing things like gym shoes or whatnot (since it doubles for a gym back); I stuffed a bottle of water and Polar watch heart monitor in it with a pair of shoes and had room to spare. 
 
I think the best thing about the bag is that it doesn't read "this is my school bag"--it's exceptionally functional and still very stylish. I know that style matters less to some people out there, but I can say that I've owned a NorthFace backpack as well and I'd pick this bag over it any day. It's so much easier than carrying a purse and a backpack and is perfect for commuting. What I will say is that I will not do a significant of walking around campus--I'll be taking public transit from my apartment--so a heavier, less ergonomic bag isn't too huge a detriment to me as I will be doing ten minutes walking to/from the bus stop and not hitching a ton of stuff (since I'll have an office on campus). 
 
A couple of you said that you have Longchamp bags, so I thought I'd do a comparison. I've been carrying the medium sized Longchamp that ​everyone seems to have. I've had my bag for about four years now and love it for days where all I need is a notebook, wallet, and laptop/charger. This bag is only comparable in that it's made from the same exterior material--nylon. The inside, however, is lined (mine is a gorgeous lavender color) and it is extremely padded so it protects the contents and also gives the bag significant structure--with nothing in it, the bag still stands up and holds shape without drooping or falling over. Also, there is a lot more storage with the Lo & Sons bag (much better than the droopy, single interior Longchamp pocket that holds nothing) and the extra cross body strap is nice to have. 
 
All in all, this bag is worth the money if you have it and want something that is fashionable and still functional. I would feel perfectly comfortable carrying this bag to a conference or even dinner with my friends because it reads as a messenger-sized bag. I actually would go as far as calling this my "holy grail" conference bag because there's tons of room for anything you might need, including the countless number of books I tend to pick up at conferences. It's also nice because I don't have to move my stuff constantly from one bag to another; with my Longchamp, I was always taking out my computer and school stuff anytime I wanted to put anything else in it (sweater, more books, etc.) and having to carry two bags. This bag is large enough that it fits a spare change of clothes plus everything I need on campus. 

Nope (not even joking). Don't try to group everyone with your habits.

I use a Cambridge Satchel Company batchel and it's been fabulous for me. It looks very professional, and I've owned it for 4 years and it looks brand new.

I was just accepted off the wait list for a funded MA at Case Western!!! So excited!

Not to sound rude, but if you're going into a doctoral program you should probably have a good idea already of what you want to/need to read. I'm sure you applied with a series of interests that is more specific than American lit; try following them for reading specific to your research interests. 

You could also check different departments for General and Qualifying exam lists. I know that Northwestern, Columbia, and Stanford post them online. Additionally, some are available through the Berkeley English graduate site. 

That being said, I do think that if you don't have any idea as to what you might need or want to read come September, you're going to have trouble. Graduate sites post all sorts of course syllabi and reading lists—they fact that you haven't found them yet suggests that you didn't research programs properly. 

I use a structured tote with a laptop pocket. I used to use a backpack in undergrad, but I found that not only was it ugly it didn't really help my shoulders-- in fact it encouraged me to overpack. I assigned a category of stuff to each pocket of my current tote, and I just make sure to empty them out at the end of the day. For example, the section closest to my body is only for books too tall to fit in the laptop pocket and my lunch, and I keep it empty at all other times. It's actually been an upgrade for my shoulders and for just being able to find things when I need them (for a while I was using my existing purse, which happened to be huge but wasn't intended for books).
 
It's great to hear from this thread that I don't care about my spine and look ridiculous, though! As long as we're discussing the personal decisions of people we don't know, let's talk about high heels and everyone's plans for work/life balance next.

I personally would let it go. I didn't receive a response to a sincere and heartfelt email I sent to decline an offer too, but I figured that the DGS is likely busy contacting the next applicant on the waitlist and wooing them, too. Regardless, congratulations on your acceptance and good luck!

I was in frequent contact with a POI at one of the programs that offered me admission, emails and phone calls both. She knew that I had a couple serious reservations about the school but I was trying to find ways to work around them. After speaking to my SO and family again I decided that this school just wasn't going to allow me the same sort of experience as another program would (even though I REEEEALLY want to work with that particular POI). So I declined admission and emailed the DGS, the POI who would have been my main advisor, and her colleague who also contacted me. I haven't heard a peep over the past week. The professors at a different program I declined all responded within the same day expressing regret and thanking me. So I totally feel like I've burnt bridges with the first school. I'm also trying to calm my paranoia by remembering that they might just be freaking busy at this time of year? I don't know, I don't have advice for you, just sympathy, lol. 

Oh my goodness am I right there with you! I felt like it was in good enough shape to neglect for a bit but now...cue the abject panic.

I just want to add to this already amazing thread with my own "graduate school LDR" story. Mine is probably a little different than those being discussed now, but I thought it might be worth sharing. 
 
I met my fiancé during undergrad while I was dating someone else--I was at a party at his house, I thought he was cute, he got my number and called me the next day...but I didn't answer. I was already in a relationship and didn't trust myself to be loyal because I attracted to this guy (now my fiancé), so I ignored his calls. Despite this, we were Facebook friends and I always found him to be self-depricatingly funny and found his humor charming.
 
This past winter, we ran into each other at a wedding of a pair of mutual friends--at this point, it had been five years since we'd seen each other and he was living across the country for work while I was in graduate school, midway through my masters. We ended up spending time together while he was in town and texted constantly after he returned to work eight hours away. From there, our relationship bloomed and between the research papers, mountains of books, and ridiculous schedule, we made something out of what seemed like nothing. 
 
This continued for a year and a half. Since, due to a lucky loophole with his job, he's been able to be here ("home" with me) almost every weekend. I know, in this way, I'm more fortunate than most but what I can say is this: we turned less than 15 hours of time together into a full-fledged relationship with nothing more than Skype, texts, and phone calls within the first three months of seeing each other. Sure, I procrastinated from time-to-time to see his face on Skype and yes, I made up for it with all nighters and too little sleep, but I did what I could to make it work. 
 
Now, as I'm finishing up my masters and will begin my Ph.D this fall, we are looking forward to closing the distance for good. I applied to places where he could transfer for work and, luckily, I was accepted to a fantastic program in a city where he'll be working in just a month. While I'm relieved that we'll finally get to do menial, boring things together like complain about bills and who's hogging the blanket because that means we'll finally be together for good, I know that I owe our relationship to the distance that separated us a year and a half ago. That distance meant that our interactions were always engaged and interesting because we had no other choice. It meant that we spent more time sharing and responding than we did staring at computer screens or TVs when we were both done with work. It meant that any "in person" relationship we had would have been first built upon communication and trust. 
 
I know things seem hard, impossible even, when you imagine distance between you and the person you love. Trust me, I've been there. But I also know that if two people are open, honest, determined, and committed, they can make things happen. I truly believe that if you have the wherewithal to get graduate degree, you have the ability to make an LDR work--all it takes is two people willing to try. 
 
That's my 2 cents, for what it's worth. 

No idea why this post got down voted. I up voted because that's ridiculous. 
 
I'm getting married this winter and I'm in an MA program now and will be starting a Ph.D program four months before the wedding. I'm inviting two people I know from grad school plus my advisor because they're good friends of mine. For everyone else, they know I'm getting married and it's fine--I'm sure none of them expect an invitation so I don't feel bad not giving them one. I've learned to use the line "we're on a budget and having a small wedding" to get out of the awkward people-inviting-themselves weirdness--I have friends from high school that assume they're going to be invited and who'll be shocked when they aren't. It's no hard feelings, it's just all about money. If someone asks and you aren't inviting them, tell them something like "we've had to make a lot of sacrifices with our guest list due to money". At the very least, it will key them into the idea that they might not be invited. 
 
Also, thumbs up to the Emily Post reference. I read her stuff on Slate twice a week!

Congrats, all! I'm glad to finally join this party. I'll be attending the University of New Mexico to get my Ph.D this fall. I thought I'd feel more relieved, but now I'm overwhelmed by the thesis I've ignored for a month. Oops. 

I just want to add to this already amazing thread with my own "graduate school LDR" story. Mine is probably a little different than those being discussed now, but I thought it might be worth sharing. 
 
I met my fiancé during undergrad while I was dating someone else--I was at a party at his house, I thought he was cute, he got my number and called me the next day...but I didn't answer. I was already in a relationship and didn't trust myself to be loyal because I attracted to this guy (now my fiancé), so I ignored his calls. Despite this, we were Facebook friends and I always found him to be self-depricatingly funny and found his humor charming.
 
This past winter, we ran into each other at a wedding of a pair of mutual friends--at this point, it had been five years since we'd seen each other and he was living across the country for work while I was in graduate school, midway through my masters. We ended up spending time together while he was in town and texted constantly after he returned to work eight hours away. From there, our relationship bloomed and between the research papers, mountains of books, and ridiculous schedule, we made something out of what seemed like nothing. 
 
This continued for a year and a half. Since, due to a lucky loophole with his job, he's been able to be here ("home" with me) almost every weekend. I know, in this way, I'm more fortunate than most but what I can say is this: we turned less than 15 hours of time together into a full-fledged relationship with nothing more than Skype, texts, and phone calls within the first three months of seeing each other. Sure, I procrastinated from time-to-time to see his face on Skype and yes, I made up for it with all nighters and too little sleep, but I did what I could to make it work. 
 
Now, as I'm finishing up my masters and will begin my Ph.D this fall, we are looking forward to closing the distance for good. I applied to places where he could transfer for work and, luckily, I was accepted to a fantastic program in a city where he'll be working in just a month. While I'm relieved that we'll finally get to do menial, boring things together like complain about bills and who's hogging the blanket because that means we'll finally be together for good, I know that I owe our relationship to the distance that separated us a year and a half ago. That distance meant that our interactions were always engaged and interesting because we had no other choice. It meant that we spent more time sharing and responding than we did staring at computer screens or TVs when we were both done with work. It meant that any "in person" relationship we had would have been first built upon communication and trust. 
 
I know things seem hard, impossible even, when you imagine distance between you and the person you love. Trust me, I've been there. But I also know that if two people are open, honest, determined, and committed, they can make things happen. I truly believe that if you have the wherewithal to get graduate degree, you have the ability to make an LDR work--all it takes is two people willing to try. 
 
That's my 2 cents, for what it's worth. 

I just want to add to this already amazing thread with my own "graduate school LDR" story. Mine is probably a little different than those being discussed now, but I thought it might be worth sharing. 
 
I met my fiancé during undergrad while I was dating someone else--I was at a party at his house, I thought he was cute, he got my number and called me the next day...but I didn't answer. I was already in a relationship and didn't trust myself to be loyal because I attracted to this guy (now my fiancé), so I ignored his calls. Despite this, we were Facebook friends and I always found him to be self-depricatingly funny and found his humor charming.
 
This past winter, we ran into each other at a wedding of a pair of mutual friends--at this point, it had been five years since we'd seen each other and he was living across the country for work while I was in graduate school, midway through my masters. We ended up spending time together while he was in town and texted constantly after he returned to work eight hours away. From there, our relationship bloomed and between the research papers, mountains of books, and ridiculous schedule, we made something out of what seemed like nothing. 
 
This continued for a year and a half. Since, due to a lucky loophole with his job, he's been able to be here ("home" with me) almost every weekend. I know, in this way, I'm more fortunate than most but what I can say is this: we turned less than 15 hours of time together into a full-fledged relationship with nothing more than Skype, texts, and phone calls within the first three months of seeing each other. Sure, I procrastinated from time-to-time to see his face on Skype and yes, I made up for it with all nighters and too little sleep, but I did what I could to make it work. 
 
Now, as I'm finishing up my masters and will begin my Ph.D this fall, we are looking forward to closing the distance for good. I applied to places where he could transfer for work and, luckily, I was accepted to a fantastic program in a city where he'll be working in just a month. While I'm relieved that we'll finally get to do menial, boring things together like complain about bills and who's hogging the blanket because that means we'll finally be together for good, I know that I owe our relationship to the distance that separated us a year and a half ago. That distance meant that our interactions were always engaged and interesting because we had no other choice. It meant that we spent more time sharing and responding than we did staring at computer screens or TVs when we were both done with work. It meant that any "in person" relationship we had would have been first built upon communication and trust. 
 
I know things seem hard, impossible even, when you imagine distance between you and the person you love. Trust me, I've been there. But I also know that if two people are open, honest, determined, and committed, they can make things happen. I truly believe that if you have the wherewithal to get graduate degree, you have the ability to make an LDR work--all it takes is two people willing to try. 
 
That's my 2 cents, for what it's worth. 

I just want to add to this already amazing thread with my own "graduate school LDR" story. Mine is probably a little different than those being discussed now, but I thought it might be worth sharing. 
 
I met my fiancé during undergrad while I was dating someone else--I was at a party at his house, I thought he was cute, he got my number and called me the next day...but I didn't answer. I was already in a relationship and didn't trust myself to be loyal because I attracted to this guy (now my fiancé), so I ignored his calls. Despite this, we were Facebook friends and I always found him to be self-depricatingly funny and found his humor charming.
 
This past winter, we ran into each other at a wedding of a pair of mutual friends--at this point, it had been five years since we'd seen each other and he was living across the country for work while I was in graduate school, midway through my masters. We ended up spending time together while he was in town and texted constantly after he returned to work eight hours away. From there, our relationship bloomed and between the research papers, mountains of books, and ridiculous schedule, we made something out of what seemed like nothing. 
 
This continued for a year and a half. Since, due to a lucky loophole with his job, he's been able to be here ("home" with me) almost every weekend. I know, in this way, I'm more fortunate than most but what I can say is this: we turned less than 15 hours of time together into a full-fledged relationship with nothing more than Skype, texts, and phone calls within the first three months of seeing each other. Sure, I procrastinated from time-to-time to see his face on Skype and yes, I made up for it with all nighters and too little sleep, but I did what I could to make it work. 
 
Now, as I'm finishing up my masters and will begin my Ph.D this fall, we are looking forward to closing the distance for good. I applied to places where he could transfer for work and, luckily, I was accepted to a fantastic program in a city where he'll be working in just a month. While I'm relieved that we'll finally get to do menial, boring things together like complain about bills and who's hogging the blanket because that means we'll finally be together for good, I know that I owe our relationship to the distance that separated us a year and a half ago. That distance meant that our interactions were always engaged and interesting because we had no other choice. It meant that we spent more time sharing and responding than we did staring at computer screens or TVs when we were both done with work. It meant that any "in person" relationship we had would have been first built upon communication and trust. 
 
I know things seem hard, impossible even, when you imagine distance between you and the person you love. Trust me, I've been there. But I also know that if two people are open, honest, determined, and committed, they can make things happen. I truly believe that if you have the wherewithal to get graduate degree, you have the ability to make an LDR work--all it takes is two people willing to try. 
 
That's my 2 cents, for what it's worth. 

For those people saying that if a relationship is meant to be then it it will be so screw compromising... thats not how life works.
 
Do you think that if a phd program is meant to be then it will happen so you can stop actively working at it during undergrad? No...
 
Relationships dont just magically work out for no reason. They take work, lots of it, and lots of compromise.
 
Communication and compromise are key. It is not hard to compromise and it does not require sacrificing your dreams. I made a list of the phd programs where I could get the education I need to acheive my goals. My partner crossed off the schools that are in locations that would prevent him from acheiving his own goals. I am applying to rest of the schools... all of the schools/locations would be amazing opportunities for both me AND him.
 
No one's dreams are sacrificed in this situation. Both partners are happy and compromise. This is how relationships work. They don't just magically come together. If you aren't willing to compromise with a partner then you have a really loney road ahead of you...