I try distracting myself. I sit at my computer, engrossed in mindless activity to wear away the hours. Then, I see a green flash, fallowed by a ring. "A new email!" I cry as I excitedly grab my phone. I unlock it, heart pounding. The email is in the account I use for my grad school applications. I hurry to open it, hoping for good news and then...
"[WHRW] GET EXCiTED FOR MARATHON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
First there is soul crushing disappointment, but then, almost suddenly, an intense fury rises up: "Who DARES to try to rise my hopes, only to dash them quickly? Fuck you, WHRW, FUCK YOU!". And then silence as I delete the email. It is no more, and I am calm. And so the cycle begins again.