angesradieux

Did you have a good relationship with any professors you took English/lit classes with? If there's a professor you particularly liked or whose class you found especially interesting, it may be worthwhile to see if they'd be willing to oversee an independent study research project. That way you'll have at least one professor you've worked very closely with who can write a detailed letter of recommendation for you and it might help you to start focusing on specific research interests and thinking about what you might say in a statement of purpose. It will probably boost your chances for an MA program and give you a starting point for thinking about PhD applications. As far as grades, how much they matter likely varies from one school to the next, but I don't think it will totally make or break you. I was in a similar situation. I really struggled my sophomore year. I didn't fail anything, but my GPA wasn't great, either. When all was said and done, it was just a little over a 3.0. My situation was a bit more convoluted, because I ended up transferring and switching majors, but I had similar fears. I was concerned that even though I did really well after transferring, my GPA from the first school I attended would land my application in the trash. I ended up being fine. One thing the professors I spoke to about this concern did advise me to do was to address the situation in my statement of purpose. They said not to necessarily make a big deal about it, but to just include a couple lines about how I struggled a bit and then changed gears. If there are any professors in the literature department you can talk to, you may want to ask them how best to handle it and whether they think it's worthwhile to bring it up in a personal statement. For what it's worth, my situation was pretty complicated I transferred from a 4 year school to a community college, earned an associates in music, and then transferred to a different 4 year school, where I did my bachelor's in history. Between transferring twice, losing credits, changing majors, etc. my transcripts were kind of a mess. I was also only about three and a half semesters away from graduation when I finally decided I wanted to go to grad school for history, so I didn't have that much more time than you to scramble to figure out what to do. What I did that I found very helpful was write a senior thesis so I would have a solid writing sample that professors in my field had seen multiple drafts of and given me feedback on. You may be able to accomplish something similar with an independent study. Then I took a gap year to give myself some extra time to refine my writing sample and statement of purpose, and also to read more in the field, get a sense of which schools had professors I'd be interested in working with, and do an internship to build up my resume. Having that year was really helpful, and it also gave me some time to just take a break from classes and decompress, so I'll be a little bit fresher and not so burned out when I do start grad school. Anyway, after all of that, I've been accepted to a PhD program after my first round of applications. If I managed to pull it off after what some might label as a train wreck of an undergrad career, I think you definitely have a shot. I'd imagine one rough year is easier to explain than a rough year plus bouncing around like a pinball. But from experience, I'd advise working closely with literature professors as much as your schedule will allow so you can refine your research interests and build relationships with people who can write you letters of recommendation, and I'd also possibly think about a gap year to give yourself time to breathe and ultimately put together a stronger application. How many classes have you already taken for your minor? If you're planning on taking extra classes to better familiarize yourself with the field, it might be worthwhile to consider how many more credits you'd need to make the minor a double major. It may not be doable depending on what your coarse load for the remainder of your neuroscience degree looks like, but it may be worth looking into. Sorry for the novel. Hopefully you'll find some of my rambling helpful. I think changing gears isn't necessarily the easiest thing, but it is doable, and a rough sophomore year probably isn't the end of the world. Good luck!

If anyone's still waiting on UNC, it sounds like they've made their final decisions. I got an e-mail from my POI saying that I'm officially in and that the DGS anticipates starting to send out e-mails at some point within the next week. Take the timeline with a grain of salt, though, since I was originally told they'd start sending notifications this past week. In any case, it sounds like decisions should start going out soon.

Somehow that sounds rather ominous. As much as I'm dying for results, I also kind of not ready for rejection letters to burst my little bubble of blissful ignorance. I've come to enjoy living in a fantasy world where people who like me and want to work with me exist.

Haven't heard anything official from UNC yet and now I'm a wreck. Logically, I know my poi just said he hoped to have more official news today and there are any number or possible reasons for a delay, but now I'm seriously stressing myself out wondering if he's changed his mind. I was also kind of counting on official word from UNC to ease the sting of the Hopkins rejection. But I guess moments like this are why we have wine.

Well, the official rejection from Hopkins is in hand. I knew it was coming, so I guess I'd already processed most of the disappointment, but it was still a bit unpleasant. Anyone else who hasn't heard official news, they results are posted on the portal, so you should be able to find it after logging into your application. I haven't received an e-mail or any other notification yet, I just happened to check the website. It says all decisions should be available as of today.

Have you been in contact with current students at either school? If not, it's probably worthwhile to see if anyone can connect you with some grad students there so you can talk to them about what RA/TA positions are like and maybe try to get a sense of whether working in either position would cover any significant part of your tuition. I know where I did my undergrad, unless being a TA was part of a funding package, it didn't really pay enough to offset the cost of tuition in any meaningful way. So if your concerns are strictly financial, if the cost of TU Delft is half of UIUC, even if you'd have a TA/RA position, the latter may still be more expensive. But, this may vary quite a bit between universities, and even between different areas of study, so your best bet of getting an idea of how it works would probably be to try to get into contact with current students.

I think I may be slowly calming down. For now, anyway. Maybe it's just the calm before the storm of more freaking out, though. I don't know. But it actually looks like pet friendly places are pretty easy to find near campus, which eases some of my anxiety. I was incredibly stressed over what I was going to do with my cat, since my parents are allergic and can't give him much attention and my sister made it clear that she wanted no part of helping me out by looking after him if I ended up not being able to take him with me. So that's one good thing. It looks like there's at least one community choir in the area, which is also a good thing. I know that probably shouldn't be my first concern in grad school, but I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that this is my last season with the choirs I currently sing with. Maybe I'll look into whether there's a university choir that's open to grad students and try to check that out. I'm not too optimistic about finding a new church, though. Not to get overly political, but I joined my current church largely because the pastor was quite liberal, which made me feel more comfortable attending. Moving to a red state, I'm not sure how likely it is that I'll be able to find a church that's not too socially conservative for me. Hopefully if I take it slow and poke around researching the area a little bit here and there, I'll warm up to the idea of living there. Now I kind of wish I had gone away for undergrad. Maybe then I wouldn't be so freaked out. But I only lived away for one year and commuted the rest of the time. And even when I lived away, I worked closer to home on the weekends, so I had to go home every weekend, and I went back sometimes during the week if I needed to pick up something I'd forgotten. This will be the first time I'll be in a position where I'm really on my own and can't just hop in a car and be home in an hour or so if I feel like it. Commuting was great for saving money, but I guess now I'm not quite as comfortable with the idea of being away from home as I might have have been otherwise.

I was contacted by my POI at UNC a little over two weeks ago for a phone conversation. I've since communicated with him again via e-mail, and he told me that I should expect an offer around Wednesday this week. I don't know much about what the American field's doing, but he did say that they've narrowed the European field (across all time periods, medieval to modern) down to their top five candidates, and from what I understand all those offers should be out this week. However, I was also told that in the past they've sent out their letters in waves, so to speak. So while some people may hear back late January/early February, there may be additional haggling over other applicants, and additional acceptances may be sent out later. So even if you don't receive anything this week, don't lose hope. It doesn't necessarily mean you haven't been admitted. Good luck! My UGPA was 3.97. GREs were Verbal 166, Quantitative 158, Analytical Writing 6.0. I didn't apply to UGA or Duke, so I can't say anything about where they are in the process.

I was excited in the beginning. The first time my POI contacted me, I almost started crying out of relief that I'd heard from somewhere. After talking to him I also found he's an even better fit than I realized. But I guess the enthusiasm has kind of waned now that the anxiety over moving's set in. It will probably come back once I get over being afraid of going.

Thanks for the advice. I'm relieved I'm not the only crazy person to have a post acceptance meltdown. I know it would be stupid not to go. My current job is a dead end. There's no room for advancement, and it just kind of is what it is. And the job market's tough and there isn't a huge demand for history undergrads, so the chances of finding something else aren't particularly high. Going to graduate school will give me more opportunities than I'd have just staying where I am. Plus I know I'm getting funding from at least one school, so I guess I figure it would be insane not to accept an offer for a funded PhD. When it boils down to it pretty much every rational, logical thought points to take the opportunity and run with it. But that doesn't stop my from going back and forth between looking up apartment prices and actually trying to figure things out and getting weepy and emotional over not wanting to move. It's not even the friendships I'm super worried about. One of my closest friends is already in grad school and moved a fair distance away. We still talk pretty much every day, and even if we don't talk on the phone we text. Several friends from high school moved, and we all try to see each other as much as possible when they come back to visit. Some may fizzle, but I think I can maintain most of my friendships. I guess one of my biggest concerns is whether my sister will even care when I leave. I went out, bought ingredients, and made Thai food for her. She hasn't even tried it. I suggested making plans with me and a mutual friend, and she immediately blurted out "no" and acted like I'd asked a really stupid question. And then she followed it up with a comment that basically boiled down to "Why would I do something like that?" Maybe it's stupid, because if she doesn't care whether I'm here or not, why bother sticking around? I don't know. I think I'm just rambling at this point, but I feel like an emotional train wreck trying to process everything right now. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who's not just absolutely thrilled to bits by the thought of having an admissions offer. I kind of felt like I'm just insane.

Anyone else having second thoughts about grad school? Is this normal? For the last month, I've agonized over not getting in, afraid that I would be stuck in my dead end job forever. I didn't really have a back-up plan. This was it. But now decisions are trickling in, and I'm swinging the opposite way. I don't have the official offer, but my POI said I'm in one program and will have something more official in hand by Wednesday. I should be ecstatic. My previous worst case scenario looks like it won't come to pass. But now I'm just sitting here crying. I'm realizing that the thought of moving 400+ miles away, to a place where I don't know anyone and haven't even really spent time scares me. I'm nervous about leaving my friends and family. I'm afraid that certain people won't even care that I'm gone. I'm just really overwhelmed by the prospect of packing up and leaving pretty much everything. I thought I'd gotten over it. I started looking for apartments online this morning and trying to find out more about where I'm living. But now I'm a teary-eyed mess again and I'm having thoughts of "why did I ever do this to myself?" I want the PhD and a career in academia, but I'm grappling with the fact that I've come to realize I hate the idea of uprooting myself and leaving my family, friends, church, and job for the unknown. There are no programs in state that would have been a decent fit. I was told by multiple people they weren't worth even applying to. So I knew going to grad school and being close to home were mutually exclusive. But I guess I didn't realize how terrifying that was until now, when it looks like there's an extremely high chance I will actually be moving. Anyone else having second thoughts or massive anxiety over moving? Or am I the only crazy person who isn't one hundred percent thrilled by the possibility of pursuing a graduate degree?

Hopefully. He said I should have it by the middle of the week. It's nice to be reassured that I'm in, but I'll still be happier once it's official.

Well after nudging my POI at UNC I was told that barring some catastrophe I should expect an offer around Wednesday. So it looks like I'm actually in somewhere.

Yup, he's the one. I cracked like an egg and e-mailed him. He did tell me to feel free to keep in touch with him during the process and if I was curious, he'd be happy to tell me what he knows. Hopefully he actually meant it. He seemed like a pretty nice guy when I spoke to him on the phone, but I'm really twitchy about contacting professors. I get pretty nervous and angsty even communicating with professors I've known and worked with for a while. But if I end up going there, I think working with him should be interesting. When we spoke on the phone, it turns out that we have more in common than I initially realized. In fact, the fact that I started out majoring in music attracted him to my application because as it happens, he started out majoring in music as a pianist before ultimately becoming a historian. I had no idea he had any kind of interest in music until then. My undergraduate thesis focused on the careers of two composers, using their work to draw conclusions about how opera changed in response to the Revolution, and I'd really like to continue working on the musical history of France, so being able to work with someone who's also a musician would be fantastic.

I may try blueberries next time, too. I can get them cheaper than raspberries, so if I make a mess of things it won't annoy me so much. But I also have a recipe for biscuits I've been wanting to try. My first attempt at gougeres puffed up very nicely in the oven, but I think I took them out a little too early, so they collapsed on me. A longer baking time on subsequent attempts seems to have solved the problem. I love how versatile the choux pastry is, though. Learn the one recipe and you have a starting point for a bunch of things. For Thanksgiving, I divided the choux pastry in half and added cheese to some to make gougeres and then used the rest for cream puffs.

Macarons are difficult. I have the opposite problem. I think I'm a little too cautious when I fold in the almond flour, so they end up with these little peaks that don't smooth out the way they're supposed to. I should probably try mixing a bit more, but then I'm worried I'll go in the other direction, overmix, and end up with flat macarons. Do you wipe down the bowl and mixer with vinegar before beating the egg whites? I've read that even washing the bowl thoroughly, sometimes there's still some residual fat from previous uses that could interfere with the egg whites whipping up the way they should. I'm not sure how true that is, but I use vinegar whenever I work with egg whites and I've had pretty good results. Do you let them sit out at all? I've also read that it's best to let egg whites rest for a day or so before making macarons because some of the moisture evaporates, though if you're impatient a short time in the microwave will do the trick. In either case, I find them easier to work with when they've warmed up a bit. I tend to separate the eggs while cold, and then let them sit at least long enough to come to room temperature. I've also found this works really well for angel food cake. But take my advice with a grain of salt since mine also have yet to come out exactly the way I want. But even if they're not quite right, they still taste pretty good and I'm content eating whatever I end up with. They're definitely one of the most finicky things I've tried to bake, though. Angel food cake and gougeres also make me a little nervous--I tend to lurk by the oven and just pray that they rise like they're supposed to--but I've had more success with those than macarons. Have you made raspberry scones? I tried making a recipe a couple days ago, and it worked out alright, but I couldn't for the life of me incorporate the raspberries into the dough without smashing a bunch of them. They tasted fine, but the juices from the smashed berries started to run while baking and some of the scones stuck to the parchment paper and I broke when I tried transferring them to a cooling rack.

Good to know. Maybe I'll e-mail my POI to see what's up. I'm a little nervous because my POI has a pretty public feud going with the university. I don't think it'll matter too much to the history department's committee, but you never know. Unfortunately, I found out about the feud after I applied. He's the best fit for me at the university, but had I known I might have tried to make a case for why I could work with someone else. He launched an attack on the athletics at UNC, so again I don't know how much that really matters to admissions committees, but you never know.

Can I just say I'm a little jealous of your list of schools? I wanted to apply to Princeton, but no one there's working on the same region and time period as me. I talked to one of my professors about it, and she said not to bother because the current faculty wasn't a good fit, and especially given how competitive it is, based on the poor fit I wouldn't stand a chance. Same for Harvard. Princeton was a bigger disappointment, though. I would have liked to apply to at least one program in my home state. Unfortunately the big ones are Rutgers and Princeton, and it turned out neither one was a viable option. Anyway, good luck with your interview. Hopefully it goes well and you get some good news soon.

While going through the application process--first stressing over writing samples and the like, and now trying to get through this awful purgatory of waiting to hear back with my sanity in tact--I've found that cooking is a decent distraction. Once I have a flame on the stove, it's time sensitive, so I can't really start and then stop, walk away to check my e-mail, the results board, question all my life choices, probably cry a little, and then eventually make my way back, and also when I have a sharp knife in hand, I'm kind of forced to just pay attention to what I'm doing rather than drifting off to torture myself with all the possible, horrible outcomes, because I'd prefer not to slice my hand instead of an onion. Plus, when I was in the midst of working on my writing sample and I got stuck, it gave me an excuse to walk away and still feel like I was being somewhat productive. I mean, you have to eat, right? So it was really easy for me to spend time cooking without stressing myself out and feeling guilty over wasting time. Anyway, anyone else use food either as a distraction from waiting or as an excuse to take a step back from working when you hit a wall and can't keep looking at it anymore? Any interesting recipes or cooking tips to share? I tried Rachel Ray's recipe for individual beef wellingtons a while ago. I thought it worked pretty well and my parents seemed to really enjoy it. Except no one in my house really likes pate, so I left that out, and I don't particularly care for mushrooms, so I used chestnuts instead. I put them through the food processor, so they were chopped more finely than the mushrooms would have been, and to cook they needed a bit more liquid and a slightly longer time, but with those adjustments I think it worked pretty well as a substitution. I also made Julia Child's coq au vin, though I added carrots and doubled the cognac. But I just let the alcohol in the cognac boil off. The recipe says to light it with a match, but I'm not quite brave enough to try that. For now, I'm content keeping the flames underneath the pan.

I agree that demanding all kinds of qualifications of people looking to adopt is ridiculous. Obviously there has to be some sort of vetting process to make sure that animals aren't going to abusive homes, but beyond that, making people jump through all kinds of hoops and denying anyone who can't check off every last box on an absurd list is stupid. It's especially ridiculous because I've heard stories of breed specific rescues adopting purebred dogs and cats from the SPCA where people could have adopted them much more easily, and then keeping them until they find their idea of the "perfect" person. Honestly, I think, except maybe in cases with breeds that are notoriously difficult to handle, it's better for the animal to find a permanent home with a well meaning but inexperienced person sooner rather than spending more time in a rescue, waiting for the exact, specific person the rescue chooses to bestow a pet on to come along. And, honestly, if grooming the poodle's hair becomes too difficult for your friend to do herself, so what? A lot of pet stores offer affordable grooming services. There are definitely options for people who might have a hard time with a higher maintenance coat. I definitely agree that some "rescues" have lost sight of what should be their primary goal. I also disagree with the notion that buying a dog is evil and unethical. Sure, it would be nice if everyone adopted and every dog in shelters found a home, but it isn't always feasible. First, there's the fact that some rescues make it nearly impossible to adopt a dog and not everyone has the time or patience to deal with that. And second, some breeds just don't fit in with certain peoples' lifestyles, due to allergies, activity levels, tolerance for children, etc. People shouldn't be barred fro owning a pet just because they might not be able to accommodate the dogs that are currently in the shelter. Anyway, I think you make a very valid point. Given the rampant holier than thou "adopt don't buy" attitude, rescues should consider making it easier to adopt, and frankly I think removing specific breeds from the SPCA and essentially holding them hostage in a breed specific rescue is by far more morally reprehensible than people choosing to purchase a purebred dog because they wouldn't be able to have a pet otherwise.

She advised my undergraduate thesis. She's an interesting person--a little aloof and not always the most responsive to e-mails, but over all nice. After my class presented our theses and awards had been given out, she gave me a book to congratulate me. I also really enjoyed the class I took with her. If you end up going to Rutgers, try to take a class with Jennifer Jones if you can. She's super nice and also incredibly knowledgeable and helpful. She works in a different time period, but she's definitely a worthwhile person to get to know. Did you hear anything official from Chapel Hill? I spoke to my POI about two weeks ago, and he basically said that he wants me there, and if he gets his way, I'm in and will be nominated for a university fellowship. However, he said that the department's committee hadn't met yet, and he couldn't make any firm promises because they still had to go through the process of haggling over which professors' picks actually get nominated for fellowships. Then he told me that the first round of acceptances, to students who get the nominations, goes out mid February. He reiterated that I would be in that group if he gets his way when the committee meets, but since then I haven't heard anything more official than what boiled down to "I want you here and will do what i can to make it happen, but a some of the process isn't entirely in my hands." He also said I'm welcome to contact him to ask where they are in the decision making process if I'm curious, but I'm trying to show restraint and poke around here instead. I'm a little afraid that if I come off as overly eager and he thinks it's a done deal that I'm going there, he may not push as much for me to get the nomination and it'll go to someone they think needs more enticing than me. I may be over analyzing it, but I know there are politics involved and I'm super paranoid.

Congrats on the acceptance. I guess at this point I'm figuring it's probably going to be a no for me. Oh well. Hopefully something else works out.

Did they happen say anything about if other students are also being contacted?

Congrats. I haven't heard yet. Wonder if this means I'm not getting in...

I don't even have the excuse of being abroad. I'll randomly wake up at like 4 or 5, and even though I know emails are sent out during business hours and nothing significant will have arrived, I still feel compelled to check my phone. I may have become just a little bit deranged over this whole thing.