ElvisShrugged

I mean, no? I'm in the same boat as you. Haven't heard anything. I feel that same mixture of jealousy and sadness, but I'm also glad for everyone who's been accepted... and certainly empathize with everyone who's been rejected, as I fear that will also be my fate.

I sometimes wonder if my dreams of doctoral study are a mere delusion, if I'm not actually suited for the work, if I'm not intelligent enough for grad school, let alone intelligent enough to recognize it. But I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't at least try. If it doesn't work out, someday I can look back on my life and say, "I gave it a shot, I tried my best." And if I don't make it in this year I'll give it another go for next season. Failing that, I'll take the hint, and move on. 

I mean, no? I'm in the same boat as you. Haven't heard anything. I feel that same mixture of jealousy and sadness, but I'm also glad for everyone who's been accepted... and certainly empathize with everyone who's been rejected, as I fear that will also be my fate.

I sometimes wonder if my dreams of doctoral study are a mere delusion, if I'm not actually suited for the work, if I'm not intelligent enough for grad school, let alone intelligent enough to recognize it. But I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't at least try. If it doesn't work out, someday I can look back on my life and say, "I gave it a shot, I tried my best." And if I don't make it in this year I'll give it another go for next season. Failing that, I'll take the hint, and move on. 

lol'd at "I hate shapes"

Pokémon Academy Fossil Revival, PhD (F18) Rejected via E-mail on 24 Jan 2018   24 Jan 2018 I guess I'll just join Team Rocket :/ That's a great fall back plan hahaha
 

It works for almost every argument.  I like using it in online arguments especially. 

"and with that one brief email, another dream dies. Now, where's the wine? " -Harvard rejection

At least if I got rejected I could start drinking and pretending I didn't care about being rejected. Right now I'm just silently dreading rejection while acting blisteringly nonchalant to all who ask about it. Like, "Oh, what, me? No, I don't need an institution to tell me I'm a good writer." But I do. Oh, I do.
 

@ms123456 @ShewantsthePhD  YES now I exclusively say: wherever I can get into with funding.

I don't have a good answer to that - even when presented with admissions statistics, they still insist that I'll be fine. While I appreciate their confidence in me, I wish I could sometimes get support in the anxiety rather than dismissal!

I just say that out of hundreds of applications, they only pick one or two people for my subfield. If they still have hope, I just chuckle and say, "we'll just wait and see". 

I wish that no one knew I applied to graduate schools so that everyone would stop asking 

I mean, no? I'm in the same boat as you. Haven't heard anything. I feel that same mixture of jealousy and sadness, but I'm also glad for everyone who's been accepted... and certainly empathize with everyone who's been rejected, as I fear that will also be my fate.

I sometimes wonder if my dreams of doctoral study are a mere delusion, if I'm not actually suited for the work, if I'm not intelligent enough for grad school, let alone intelligent enough to recognize it. But I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't at least try. If it doesn't work out, someday I can look back on my life and say, "I gave it a shot, I tried my best." And if I don't make it in this year I'll give it another go for next season. Failing that, I'll take the hint, and move on. 

Yup. I'll shed many tears, drink lots of wine, and sleep soundly for the first time in months.

A few from my intended discipline:
Stanford Music Composition, PhD (F15) Rejected via E-mail on 11 Feb 2015 A 11 Feb 2015 report spam                  Bunch of nihilists.
UC Berkeley Music Composition, PhD (F17) Rejected via E-mail on 13 Feb 2017 ♦ A 13 Feb 2017 Oh well, among my last choices... I write music for an audience, not an academic circle jerk.
If you don't like what the department is doing, why apply?
Columbia (GSAS) Music Composition, DMA, Other (F12) Rejected via Website on 15 Mar 2012 A 15 Mar 2012 Meh, If you're not from McGill, you've very little chance of getting in My favorite is this one, though:
University Of Chicago Music Composition, PhD (F13) Rejected via E-mail on 4 Mar 2013 U 4 Mar 2013 Link to site / Generic rejection letter / Generic reaction on my side too...

I mean, no? I'm in the same boat as you. Haven't heard anything. I feel that same mixture of jealousy and sadness, but I'm also glad for everyone who's been accepted... and certainly empathize with everyone who's been rejected, as I fear that will also be my fate.

I sometimes wonder if my dreams of doctoral study are a mere delusion, if I'm not actually suited for the work, if I'm not intelligent enough for grad school, let alone intelligent enough to recognize it. But I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't at least try. If it doesn't work out, someday I can look back on my life and say, "I gave it a shot, I tried my best." And if I don't make it in this year I'll give it another go for next season. Failing that, I'll take the hint, and move on. 

@PlsAdmitMePls Your post seriously could've been written by me. This is literally my life. Even if it doesn't receive the anxiety, it does somehow help to know that we're all suffering together!

I mean, no? I'm in the same boat as you. Haven't heard anything. I feel that same mixture of jealousy and sadness, but I'm also glad for everyone who's been accepted... and certainly empathize with everyone who's been rejected, as I fear that will also be my fate.

I sometimes wonder if my dreams of doctoral study are a mere delusion, if I'm not actually suited for the work, if I'm not intelligent enough for grad school, let alone intelligent enough to recognize it. But I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't at least try. If it doesn't work out, someday I can look back on my life and say, "I gave it a shot, I tried my best." And if I don't make it in this year I'll give it another go for next season. Failing that, I'll take the hint, and move on. 

Don't feel bad. It is tough to juggle it all. Just start a little at a time. Make a reading list, perhaps, and then start small with a poem or short stories. I'm a fiction writing applicant, and I understand the desire and need to read ALL. THE. TIME. It keeps you sharp. It inspires. But sometimes, I'm just too damn tired after my day job anymore. Sometimes, binge watching House Hunters with some tacos and my cat by my side sounds a lot better. That's okay. We're only human.
I actually got a great app on my iPad lately, called Calm, which is about meditation and better sleep. It's great to just try the freebies and drain my mind of anxiety. I focus on breathing and listen to the naturescapes. It preps me for journaling or reading, and makes it easier to sleep. Maybe give it a try. Making a habit for like 10-15 minutes everyday is all you need, even.
Good luck. I applied to Purdue as well! Maybe our paths will cross. Keep faith.

Yeah, I want to teach, so I need me a PhD unfortunately.
If I fail across the board, which I really feel like is going to be the case, I'm going to go teach overseas for a year, write a whole new writing sample because mine sucks, and reapply. And my SOP got much stronger over the app process, so that means the early applications must have been terrible. Room to improve there too.
The part I DREAD about reapplying is asking for LORs again. I already don't have the world's strongest relationship with my professors (okay, but not a close working relationship on research/a project or anything like that) and I do not want to go through that again.

This is what I did.
I was coming home from getting my blood drawn when I got an email notification that my status had changed and to check the website. I proceeded to spend the entire drive home (only about 10 minutes) freaking out and coming up with every rejection scenario possible. Once I got home, I checked the status, still freaked out it would be a rejection. I couldn't believe it when I read Congratulations. I just sat there in shock for a few minutes and then my anxiety turned to elation. I was filled with restless energy and may have done a few laps around the house. As soon as my parents were awake I went to their room and said, "Guess who's going to grad school."
My father got a confused look on his face and said, "Why?" -__- He meant, "what brought you saying this on" but still. Anyways, I let them know I received an acceptance, high fived them both, then proceeded to text everyone I know, haha. I also printed out the acceptance and made them read it (partly because yay acceptance and partly to make sure I wasn't hallucinating). I also emailed all of my letter writers and thanked them. I then randomly said, "I got into grad school" at both of my parents for the next couple of days, multiple times a day.
I have yet to post about it on social media because I'm trying to get a job, but most people who know me know about it, haha. 

Being totally honest--I'll share the news on social media and cry.
Afterwards I'm gonna have a chat with myself in my head and wonder if this school is the right fit, if I should wait for the rest of the schools etc.

Oh gosh, I would probably:
1. Scream
2. Cry
3. Tell my husband, family, and letter writers
4. Take the rest of the day off and celebrate!!! 

I’ve seem to have acquired a new hobby: alternating between checking my email and TheGradCafe every 5 minutes! Can’t say it’s too healthy, however. I’m getting nothing done at work, since I’m so anxious about results. You’re not alone; grad school results are on my mind 24/7, it’s basically what I think about going to sleep and what I think about when I wake up.
I’m sure we’ll all come out of this process ecstatic! Good luck to everyone!