fuzzylogician

Maybe you can explain why you think that having a J1 already would be a problem. I don't think it's generally the case that being on a J1 visa should prohibit having another one for another program. You current sponsors may not be willing to sponsor you again, but your school might.

I don't think that phrasing the question this way will help you much. For future reference, if you have other interviews of this sort in the future, I would suggest asking toward the end of the interview what happens next -- namely, what the application process is like on their end and when you might expect to hear back. This gives the professor the opportunity to tell you if they are on the committee and how the interview informs the selection process. Since you didn't ask this, I think it's fine to follow up with a thank you email and say that you forgot to ask about a timeline when you spoke. You might also say that you'll mention in your SOP that you had this conversation (which you definitely should do anyway) and how excited you are to potentially work with her, and ask if once you submit, the application will go to her for review. Asking explicitly about your chances isn't likely to do much good; professors are usually very cautious of answering such questions, especially in writing, because some students misinterpret informal evaluations ('I think you would be a good fit') as promises and may become very upset if they end up getting rejected (because of whatever reason). Because of that, it's usually better to ask the question more indirectly. This aside, I would advise you to be very careful of applying to a school where there is only one person you might want to work with. You'll need to have more than one person around who you can talk to in order to form a dissertation committee and for letters of recommendations. Not to mention that things may not work out with this particular advisor - she may get sick, have to reduce her workload to care for a sick relative, move to another school, be away for extended travel, etc., and it's important to have others you can rely on, and also to get other perspectives on your work.

Unfortunately spouses* cannot work on a F2 visa. The only advice I can give you is to look for programs that will agree to issue you a J1 visa instead of the F1. Schools aren't required to do this, but many will. Ask around (current students, the international students website) to see whether that is possible. Depending on the source of your funding, you may be subject to the 2-year home requirement, so keep that in mind. Another alternative is to apply for (and win) a scholarship such as Fulbright, in which case you shouldn't have any problem getting a J1 even at schools that are usually more reluctant. This is of course not a fool-proof plan, but you might try it anyway (in that case you will most likely have the 2-year home requirement, though). As for getting a work visa for your spouse, that is possible, but I wouldn't count on it. It's expensive and time-consuming for the employer (if possible at all), so it's unlikely that an employer will want to invest in that when they can easily find a local person that can start any time and doesn't cost that extra money. * Note: you have to be married! Your partner can't get a visa if you are not married.

In my experience, when one student asks a question in class, there are several others who were also confused, but were too afraid to ask. Unless you have some reason to believe that everyone came into the class with more background than you, there is no reason to expect that they would all do significantly better than you. I'd be much more inclined to believe that each one thinks they are the only one who's not getting it, and that the nods aren't as significant as you might think. Is there a TA who you could reach out to? Does the professor have office hours? Have you tried taking advantage of extra resources in your department to help you through this class? Do you think the professor is even aware that some students might be struggling? (Your question about grades is too idiosyncratic to answer. It depends on the particular department/course/professor. You could ask more advanced students in your department about their experiences. In my program grades didn't matter -- everyone got an A, and a B was a signal that things weren't going well. But other programs are different and you need to know specifically how your department treats grades. We can't answer that for you.)

Well, there's Fulbright. Some countries have NSF-equivalent scholarships, like SSHRC in Canada (for Social Sciences), the DFG in Germany, etc. When you get to the dissertation stage, you'll be eligible to apply for the NSF dissertation improvement grant. And there are occasionally field or goal-specific fellowships you might be able to apply for, like a grant that's specifically for archival work, or for documenting endangered languages, etc., but whether you are eligible will often depend on your research topic (and maybe nationality). You can look in The Bank to get some idea. Another option is to look at CVs of successful recent alums in your field who are not American and see what kind of funding they've gotten in the past. Your advisor might also know, though they also often have a way of not being aware of restrictions on international students. Unfortunately, as you may have already discovered, a lot of opportunities are unavailable to international students just because of their nationality.

Assuming that this is at least partly about my post, and I wasn't trying to cast personal blame on you. I don't know you or what you do in your daily life, but from all I know about you from this board I would have no reason to suspect that are anything but a good contributing member of your academic community. But I still find the content of your post very frustrating, and that was the point of my post. I fully understand that someone low in the hierarchy of their academic institution and who depends on the evaluation of other faculty members may not want to criticize them or point out potential problems with their behavior. But while young male faculty members work their way toward tenure, other women aren't getting the opportunities that they deserve, as undergraduates, as graduate students, as postdocs, as young faculty, at every stage, really. Old tenured men can't be the only ones who can help, or we will never fix anything. I find that frustrating, but I do apologize if you thought my words were explicitly directed at you. They weren't. The problem is much bigger than that, and that's where they were aimed.

Just say Fall 2014.

Consciously or not, the male faculty are more worried about their reputation than the education and opportunities available to their female students. They have cut off opportunities for women that could possibly be perceived as inappropriate, but they still allow those same opportunities to the men and they have done nothing to offer alternative opportunities to the women. Saying that they "aren't doing it by direct choice" is taking away their agency in this, and it is a choice they are making. Saying that the problem is facing academia as a whole is of course correct, but absolves these professors of having to take any responsibility, and I object to that. The way you address these problems is not (only) by decreeing change from above, or leaving it to the affected (and hence weakest) party in this interaction to fix. It is by taking action as an individual where you can, and speaking up about these injustices, especially as a man (or any other privileged group member). I don't think you fully appreciate how much more impact it has when a man points out an inequality than when a woman does. There are so many small ways you (as a male faculty member) can help and places to speak up, and you need to be an ally, not just say it's a bigger problem than any individual can solve. It is because every individual shirks responsibility that we, as a whole, don't seem to be able to solve the problem.

And you don't think it's a problem that only men get to have one-on-one interactions with their professors? You think it could be entirely separated from the male student then also being invited to join collaborations and receiving special treatment in class? I think that one very directly leads to the other, so it's totally fair to want to address that. And I think that telling the OP to ignore this aspect and only focus on the academics misses an important aspect of the situation, without which this isn't really going to get resolved. I've actually never heard of a case of a professor having extensive non-academic one-on-one interactions with a student of any gender (that others were explicitly not invited to, not because it turns out that only one person showed up for happy hour), and I would definitely find it weird if my male colleagues were routinely invited to do things with my advisor that I was not. You can't believe that has no effect on the nature of the relationship that those men would have with the advisor and the one that the women would have. And it would be hard to imagine that it would not have implications beyond just the social aspects. For better or worse, you get to like some students more than others, and you will invite them to collaborate more and write them better letters, use your connections to help them get a postdoc, advertise their work, etc. If women never get the opportunity to even be in that position, that is a big problem.

As I read it, the post isn't complaining about the male student having a relationship with mentors per se, but about the fact that female students are blocked from forming the same types of relationships. This is manifested in social events, so female students aren't invited out for drinks but the male student is, female students aren't even invited to join conversations at parties, etc. But this also affects opportunities in school, so the male student has been invited to join collaborations and the female students have not, and he receives special treatment in class. This will obviously lead to increased research productivity for him down the line, better connections, and therefore stronger LORs and better job prospects. This is a big deal. I do understand that male professors need to be careful about how they interact with female students (in a way that I don't feel that I have to worry about my interactions with male students), but from there to depriving female students of any means of forming a close relationship with their supervisors there is a long way. In every program I've been in, there have been opportunities for faculty and students to interact in social gatherings, be it parties or just an email to a group "hey, who wants to go to happy hour?", where the event and venue take care of any seeming impropriety. And I do think it should be unacceptable for a professor to have some activity that only men are invited to (or only white people, or only straight people, etc.). Either the opportunity is there for everyone, or find some other activity that would work for everyone. And preferring men or only inviting men to collaborate with you should likewise be unacceptable, and I fully understand why someone would find it objectionable.

You should ask your interviewer during the interview. Ask about an estimated timeline and when you can expect to hear back. Don't tell them about the job offer, though. That'll be more accurate than any guesses we could have.

You need that third letter if it's required, there won't be a way out of it. But it can be just ok, not great, if the other two are strong. So I would suggest going back to the people who you've walked to and asking again if they would agree to write a letter just based on what they know, and you realize that this is not a lot and not about your research abilities, but explain that you just formally need a third letter for this official requirement and you only worked with these two other people, both of whom are writing you (what you expect to be) strong letters. Hopefully there is someone who you took a class with who remembers you and where you did good work, and you'll get what we call a "did well in class" letter, which is kind of useless, but you need it anyway.

Aside from help you might find online, this is precisely the kind of thing that you should get your professors' input on. Have you tried scheduling a meeting with someone to discuss this paper? Have you tried getting help from the writing center at your university, if it has one?

No to the SOP, it's not relevant to your application and would be a waste of space that could be used to discuss your interests and fit. You could mention non-academic publications on your CV if you're proud of them, but you shouldn't expect it to help your application.

Listen, this sucks but it's not the end of the world. I think that there are two levels you want to deal with this on. On the practical side, failing by 1% is a pretty cruel thing to do to a student. Maybe there is a way to make up that extra point. I would start by talking to the professor and expressing the desire to do whatever possible to get a passing grade. You may get a no for an answer, but you will have lost nothing, so it's worth a try. Especially if you had no prior indication that you were failing, even if you did know you weren't doing great, that is something to mention. Students shouldn't be caught off guard like that, they should know and be given the opportunity to improve their work. On the emotional side, two things: first, it's ok to feel bad about this, and you should allow yourself time to be upset and to recover. But at the same time, you should also put this in perspective. It's just one course, and not even a required one. You are doing well in your rotations and it sounds like you did well in your other classes. One failing grade doesn't define you -- your work and track record do, and they are positive. So while I am not expecting this to make you feel good about yourself, you should not let it bring you down more than it should. It's nothing more than a temporary setback that you can recover from. Your professors don't think you're a joke, you are not the first or only person to ever struggle with a class, and it doesn't mean you can't be successful. The skills that make a person a good researcher are actually quite distinct from the skills that make someone good at coursework. Don't give this more importance than it has, and don't assume facts not in evidence.

I have read many of your posts, and I am fully aware of your tendency to post vague one-liners (often questions) that you seem to think are so obvious that everyone should agree (alongside those more thoughtful posts that I agree you do post as well). And if you pay close attention, you will notice that I never respond to those. I will stick to that, because I have never found that those discussions lead to anything useful. All I will say is that despite being a moderator, I am entitled to -- and am posting here -- my own opinions. These are based on my own actual experiences, as my signatures always states, and unfortunately I have quite a few of them. I do think that micro-aggression is an appropriate term here, since this is part of a larger pattern of behavior that women deal with in the workplace, but that is independent of, and does not preclude, a low-level attempt to solve this problem by talking to whoever the relevant individuals are, and not attempting to solve the larger problem. I explicitly said as much in my post, and the OP or anyone else can take that part and disagree with the other. You may disagree with my opinions, and that's perfectly fine, too. But your post above attributes all kinds of ill intentions to me that I don't think even deserve a serious rebuttal. If you truly believe that I have such sinister intentions, or alternatively that I am entirely oblivious, then we are too far apart from one another to have a real conversation. And if not, then the entire discussion needs be reframed. As such, I have no intention of engaging any further. All you are doing is hijacking the OP's thread and taking it in a direction that I don't find particularly helpful. The time I spend on this forum is volunteered and limited, and I'd rather spend it helping others as best I can instead of participating in this debate whose purpose now seems to be you admonishing me for apparently not behaving as you would like.

Well, maybe someone else would like to engage with that. I find it usually not a good use of time to write a long and thoughtful reply to someone who communicates in vague one-liners. If you want to say more, by all means, we can have a discussion then. While you're at it, you might want to relate your reply to the definition here (or others of your choosing): http://www.dictionary.com/browse/microaggression (emphasis is mine) microaggression: a subtle but offensive comment or action directed at a minority or other nondominant group that is often unintentional or unconsciously reinforces a stereotype: microaggressions such as "I don't see you as black.".

Is it reasonable to expect someone to have a serious discussion with you if all you have to say is a one-sentence rhetorical question?

Yep, it's too early. In some fields you can list a submitted manuscript and even one that you just have but aren't doing anything with (e.g theses and the like) but you can't list papers you haven't even finished writing a first draft of yet.

Yeah, you are definitely not the first or only one who something like this has happened to. It's unfortunately more common than it should be. It's very unfortunate that this male student doesn't sound like someone who will help. The best ways I know of combating such a situation involve recruiting a man who can point out microagressions and unequal treatment in a way that women who are a part of the situation often cannot. @knp gave you some very good advice, but I would suspect that in this case it may be very difficult to solve the problem, since you say that all of the professors are male and the male student likely won't help. Maybe you can still identify an ally among the professors, but you should be careful about that. You don't want to be perceived as complaining or imagining injustices (even if they are actually real!); this is why having a male ally could be so important. If you did want to take this further, there may be venues you could bring this up in (the ombudsperson comes to mind), but you'll never be able to get someone to socialize with you who doesn't want to. But if this leads to favoritism in the workplace, that's something you can try to address. This is definitely not petty. It's one more micro-agression in a world of many small and large gestures that signal to women that they aren't as wanted, aren't as good, aren't as likely to succeed. It's understandably incredibly frustrating. I don't know if we can help, but you are not alone. At least know that.

Don't read too much into it. It's good that they are friendly and it probably says good things about their communication style if and when you become their student, but a friendly reply by no means implies that you'll be accepted. It does mean you should probably apply, but I don't think that spending energy on applications according to how friendly the PI was necessarily makes sense. Though if you e.g. run out of time and need to choose an application to drop, I'd probably drop one where you never got a response or the PI was unfriendly over one with a friendly PI, all other things being equal. (Which is to say, other considerations, such as fit, location, funding, etc. might trump the friendliness of the email response.)

No, don't get a letter from a client. You are in a position of power over them, assuming that they are poor and need your help. They are also not in a position to actually evaluate your work or compare you to others. That kind of letter would be disregarded by admissions committees, and might make them doubt your seriousness about your application. Get a letter from your employer.

Can as in is it technically possible? Probably. Is it likely to happen? Probably not. But it would depend on the particular program you are applying to.

You might want to tell us what field you are applying in. You might also want to share whether you are applying for a MA or PhD, and what your research interests are. It's impossible for anyone to make suggestions without knowing at least that much.

Perhaps wordy but worth spelling out. I, at least, had no idea what MResDist stands for, and I'm probably not the only one. Make your readers' lives maximally easy, don't make them work to figure out what you're saying.