Ennue

Yeah, those greedy pig art professors. Let me tell you, they're pulling in the cash in PILES just like all the other college faculty!

This struck me as a major "yikes" and a red flag. I hope this doesn't come across in your interviews that you think your interviewers will be "jealous" of your accomplishments. This is highly unlikely especially since you are starting out in your career and academic awards don't tend to make normal, well-balanced individuals jealous.

Not having seen your interview style but based on your post, it may be that you are coming across too strong and are trying too hard to sell yourself. This can be very off-putting and I speak from experience having had to painfully sit through multiple interviews when the interviewee tried this tactic. Someone who constantly mentions their accomplishments unsolicited is going to be labeled as "difficult to work with" and not a "team player." The interviewer is also going to think you are always tooting your own horn and will not admit when you failed or made a mistake. Instead, I would only mention accomplishments that are relevant to the questions that are being asked. I would also refrain from mentioning every single academic award that you have received. In general, gauge your behavior by the tone and body language of your interviewer. They are trying to find a good fit for the position in terms of personality and experience. You also should be interviewing them to see if you think they will be a good teacher mentor for you and give you the support that you need for the next year.

Good luck!

I definitely think it hinders people when they stick with their own kind and don't try to get to know new people or cultures. And I also understand that when moving to a new place, especially when the culture and language are different, that it helps to have people that understand you and help you to maintain a feeling of comfort.

But I think it is unfair to think that only international students do this. A lot of people live like this, except that it might not be as noticeable because they do not speak a different language or look different. Some people stick with the same friends they've had since highschool. Some people stick to their own social class. Some people stick with only people that share their beliefs. I could go on. My point is that generally people stick to like-minded people.

And then there are people who try to break these barriers, either by leaving their comfort zone to experience new things or by inviting those people who are in groups to try new things. I think that it is easy to look at international students and say that they "stick to people of their own ethnicity" but not really work to include them. It's hard to come to a place with a new culture, and all too often I see that "locals" do not make an effort to include the new people.

Let's build bridges instead of reinforcing walls.

the hard part about finishing a PhD is not how long it will take. it's finding the will and endurance to do the specific work that is required of you. if you don't have the will to do it, it won't matter if there's only 3 months left.

talk to the director of grad studies about all of these issues, including the shitty advising you're getting. see what s/he says. it may be possible to get some informal co-advising from one of your dissertation committee members, and this other prof can keep you on track and help you manage the project realistically. our advisors are people too and sometimes they really drop the ball. we can't let that derail our own career paths. so, first and foremost, talk about your DGS and see what help they offer you.

if it's still not working out, try to defer enrollment for a year. being away from academia for a year may make you remember why you started in the first place. you could go running back with renewed energy to finish the degree. or it could make you realize you're much happier out of academia, in which case, you don't need a PhD anyway. at that point, once you've deferred and decided you don't want to go back, then you can see if they'll just give you the second MA.

When I first started grad school I used to wear comfy clothes -- not sweatpants and yoga pants, but big, comfortable sweaters and T shirts with sneakers and jeans. Problem is, I was TOO comfortable. I wanted to fall asleep every class. No amount of caffeine could wake me up either. Which is difficult when your class has MAX 5 students.

This year, I tried a different technique and started dressing a little smarter (this actually happened more organically, some days I was teaching directly after class so I had to dress more professionally). You know what? I found that it actually made me a better student. I felt more efficient, more professional, and for some reason more mature. The only thing I can think is that maybe dressing professionally made me approach school with a job-related mindset, so I was more on the ball.

Anyway, Ive been doing that ever since. Can't say my grades have gotten any better though.

If you're going to generalize about half the population of an entire continent, I suggest you do better than that. C'mon - lay out those reasons for us! Pretend we're stupid and we don't understand what you are trying to imply.

Dear Silly One,

I was not asking you whether this really worked. I was asking whether someone on this board (presumably a grad student) could really be so stupid and insensitive as to post something like that. And as the daughter of an "Asian from a third-world country," I'd also like to ask you to kindly go stick your head up your rear.

Sincerely,

runonsentence.

Speaking as a couchsurfer (though not a terribly experienced one), I always had a great time. Bad experiences are possible - as they are basically anywhere - but unlikely. The saving money part is nice, obviously, but first and foremost it's about the people you get to meet. If you are only doing it because of the free place to stay, well, that may not work out...

Anyhow, always be sure to check out previous references for the people you'd like to stay with. Identity check and vouching are also good indicators. Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to have local hostel contact information just in case.

I'm applying to grad school in clinical psych, and I also was surprised to see personal mental health issues noted so strongly as unacceptable in SOPs, especially considering that clinical psychologists should be more accepting than most of mental illness. However, that this is specifically in psychology is significant- and if you read more closely, it seems to me that mental illness itself is not the issue.
this is the actual quote from the article (emphases are mine):

Personal mental health. The discussion of a personal mental health problem is likely to decrease an applicant’s chances of acceptance into a program. Examples of this particular KOD in a personal statement included comments such as “showing evidence of untreated mental illness,” “emotional instability,” and seeking graduate training “to better understand one’s own problems or problems in one’s family.” More specifically, one respondent stated that a KOD may occur “when students highlight how they were drawn to graduate study because of significant personal problems or trauma. Graduate school is an academic/career path, not a personal treatment or intervention for problems.”

It seems like the real issues are 1) having an untreated illness (and having any unresolved issue is a red flag in an SOP) or 2) only caring about the field because of your experiences with mental health. Think about it this way: if you were applying to an immunology program, and your entire SOP consisted of a discussion of your own autoimmune disorder, and how you want to go to grad school to figure out what was going on with your disorder, that wouldn't be looked on very favorably either.

However, I want to emphasize that I do believe discrimination based on mental illness happens all the time, including (especially?) in graduate admission, and that I do believe mental illness, and the skills gained in overcoming it, are not viewed the way they should be. But, in psychology, there is good reason to warn against dwelling on it in the SOP.

There is an entire tumblr dedicated to people who believe that the Onion's stories are real. I'm not sure whether its funny or just plain sad...

A friend of mine is a young professor and sent me the following link:

Professor Deeply Hurt By Student Evaluation

The Onion is a joke newspaper. The particular incident isn't real, but it is funny in part because it closely resembles stuff people actually go through.

Dear folks,

I'd like to elicit your thoughts and comments on a heartbreaking issue. I came across this article in which the authors surveyed graduate admissions committees for "kisses of death" that would lead them to reject otherwise strong applicants. I discovered that the disclosure of struggles with one's mental health represented an ostensibly egregious error in that category. To survey respondents, this indicated emotional instability, and the authors of the article warn that evidence of a turbulent personal history or trauma could suggest an inability to function as a successful graduate student.

I'm objecting to this reasoning not only because I've struggled with severe recurring depression ever since I was 13, engaged in violent self-harm before attempting suicide nearly two years ago, and am thus inclined to rush to the defense of the despondent. I object because the characterization of my brothers and sisters in suffering as "unable to function as successful graduate student" infuriates me, and I view surviving trauma and abuse (or self-abuse) as a testament to one's strength, not infirmity. I object because exhibiting our humanity when we convey these narratives should elicit respect in the very least--not icy reprimands, "kisses of death."

I object because divorcing personal history from professional ambition can carry particular sting. In this context, stigma is the shame of having to keep something private for fear of prejudice, disgust, disdain, disapproval. I have no doubt that private victimization, however defined, can propel us to achieve in our fields. Grief motivates us to dream harder. And the relationship is bidirectional; our academic work can spur emotional growth, our zest for living. There are probably hazards to this linkage of the private and the public, but they do not justify discriminatory admissions practices. Indeed, very few things do.

The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) prohibits discrimination against qualified people with disabilities, including those with mental illness. I say "qualified" because an applicant or employee must still perform the "essential duties" of his or her position. If a psychiatric diagnosis interferes with this, then an employer could legally deny an applicant employment. It's immaterial whether the disclosure of psychiatric history is voluntary, I believe, as in the case of personal statements--just as an employer or university cannot discriminate on the basis of religion if one were to offer that information. In any case, the judgment that a mentally disordered individual cannot execute the basic functions of his or her position cannot be made on the basis of stereotypical generalizations but on objective evidence. This also applies in assessments that an individual may be a "direct threat" to him/herself or to others.

For all the moral disgrace of mental health stigma, prejudice, and discrimination during the application process, I've discovered that these are likely to dissolve once nestled safely in a graduate program and under the wing of a supportive advisor. I was blessed with such an advisor already; indeed, I was surprised he was capable of such compassion as when I informed him via email that I had landed in the hospital after doing all I could to end my life. I don't plan on disclosing my history to my current advisor, but I can already tell that if I were to relapse, she would grant me all the resources I would need for an accelerated recovery.

So how are admissions committees quick to dismiss applicants who discuss emotional/physical trauma and/or mental illness but equally quick, as individual advisors, to accommodate students suffering the same? If mental illness really does manifest an inability to function as a successful graduate student, then graduate students who disclose their illness to advisors and department chairs would be deemed unfit to continue their studies and promptly expelled. The reasoning of survey respondents in the above article leads to that harsh conclusion.

Ultimately, capricious, inscrutable admissions committees can reject applicants for reasons that have nothing to do with merit. We've grown accustomed to that by now. Fairness doesn't always prevail. So why raise the issue?

Well, for one I'm concerned that misconceptions about the mentally ill as violent or dangerous will continue to dominate admissions/hiring decisions. Though this callous discrimination can melt away in relationships with colleagues, thus challenging those stereotypes, our attitudes towards groups as whole entities does matter. There's a difference between demonstrating compassion to a schizophrenic co-worker and having favorable attitudes towards schizophrenics in general. These are of course related, but I would argue that much of what passes for prejudice reduction occurs at the interpersonal level only, not the intergroup level. So ambivalence towards certain groups can survive independent of our interpersonal treatment of members of these groups. And such ambivalence (or antipathy) still poses a problem because it can predict discrimination in organizational settings and perhaps political opposition to budgetary allocations for mental health services.

Put simply, I will never doubt the capacity for human beings to love one another within their established social networks, but I am far more pessimistic of our good will towards groups in general. To bridge that distance, I suppose we ought to feel every suicide as the suicide of a loved one, every abuse as the abuse of a loved one, every illness as our own--but that would defy our bloody history. That's the tragedy here--placing groups at a psychological distance justifies our cruelty even though every tear, every death, should break our hearts whether or not we know the afflicted.

So what do you think? Is mental health stigma still a problem? I'm sorry I've spit this out so incoherently. Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!

there's no way for her to not know how much money I bring in from any job.

Yes, there is. You are over 18. Get a bank account in your name, and when you get paid deposit your check in there or get direct deposit, and then don't share the account number or the balance with anyone. Don't even leave a copy of the account number at home where she can find it. And if she asks, refuse to tell her. There is literally no way that she can find out what the account number is or what your balance is unless she does something illegal like misrepresents herself as you at the bank...or unless you tell her.

She doesn't give me money, but I do live with her. I guess that means she can decide where I go to school since I'm not contributing to the rent (I can't with no job anyway).

It does not. No one has the right to force you to do anything you don't want to do - go to grad school, hold a specific job, etc. I know it's hard to realize when you are in the midst of such abuse. But NO ONE can decide where you go to school, or whether. If you stopped going to school today and just dropped out, what could she do? Nothing. Maybe kick you out of the house, but that might be a positive thing!

I have a LinkedIn account with my work posted...never once have I gotten anything from there.

Most people don't get job offers through LinkedIN...they don't just show up. You may make contacts on LinkedIn that can help you when you apply for a job, but jobs don't fall into people's laps like that unless they are quite privileged.

At the very least, I believe some of my private loans will get forgiven when my mother dies since she's my co-signer.

That's not the way co-signing works. As a co-signer, your mom agrees to pay the loan only if you default. She's like a guarantor. If she dies, you are still the primary debtor and you will still be responsible for paying the loans. She's just a little extra guarantee for them.

You are not special.

I don't mean that in a flippant way. It's really the most useful piece of advice I know. Worried that everyone is juding you behind your back? They're not. Because they don't care all that much about you because you're not special. Faced with crippling anxiety about whether or not your planned project is absolutely perfect? Stop worrying and get to work. You're not going to come up with a field-changer in your first year. You're not special. Still have some bad work habits that you secretly think are part of your creative genius? They're not, because you're not Keats, you're just a grad student. Suck it up and fix them. Again, you're not special.

I guess I could phrase it as "Work hard and keep your head down", but it doesn't have the same ring.

- memorize your graduate handbook. it will have all the timelines you need to meet, the courses you need to take, the requirements you need to fulfill. your advisor, believe it or not, will not actually know this stuff. s/he will know that there are certain things you need to do to meet your requirements, but s/he won't actually know what those things are. it's up to you to be on top of it. sometimes, the director of grad studies won't even know what it is you need to do. frustrating, but as long as you have the department handbook to back you up, you'll be okay.

- learn to value yourself for something other than being smart. everyone in your program is smart. everyone is used to getting the top grades in their class. you will no longer be the best and the brightest. you will also frequently be told that your work isn't good. the grades themselves don't matter anymore, it's the comments in the margins that let you know your work was inadequate. you will have weeks or months of self-doubting, you will read your advisor's every twitch and tick as evidence of his/her contempt for your mediocrity.

like yourself because you're funny, because you're creative, because you can run a marathon, because you can fix things with your hands, because you actually had the "wild years" (or "tumultuous years") that your colleagues heard so much about when they were in the library/lab. but do NOT like yourself only for your intelligence, because within a year, you won't feel smart anymore. i've given this pep talk to colleagues of mine that were having panic attacks when they thought they wouldn't get research funding or that their advisor hated their work, and it rarely sinks in for most of them, because they've always been "the smart one" and can't yet see themselves as anything else. it's time to let that go. even the students with 4.0 GPAs, who breeze through their thesis/comps/overview, who hold big-time national fellowships have days/weeks/months of feeling stupid.

- know the department politics. if there's a universally-hated faculty member, you should know that before you start bringing that person onto various committees. if that universally-hated faculty member is your advisor, you need to know that too, because it will be up to you to cultivate strong relationships with other faculty. they'll need to like you because they don't like your prof.

- don't date within your department. seriously. it's too incestuous and breeds competition within a relationship or between couples. grad school isn't on the buddy-system. you don't need to pair up with someone the first month you get here.

OleMiss,
You can try looking to see if your school has an off-campus housing office. Also, check with your department and any related ones to see if they have housing lists or will let you send out an email saying you're looking to live with someone in the fall. If those don't work, there's always Craig's List and Facebook.

Whether or not to live with roommates really depends. I had one roommate the first year of my MA (who was awesome!), three during MA year 2 (one of whom was batshit crazy), and two roommates for the first two years of my PhD (who were passive-aggressive). It's only in the third year of my PhD, when teaching my own course and taking comps, that I've lived alone. A lot of times, I miss having roommates, especially the good ones that are able to hang out, go to the bar, etc. It's a lot more work to muster up someone to go do something with when you live alone. I like the quiet but sometimes it's too quiet and I find myself craving conversation... So yea, there are trade-offs. But really, no one can tell you what to do. Living someplace expensive the first year can be extra hard given the additional costs of moving and having to wait for the first paycheck.

I'm a current PCV in the Caucasus region, finishing up this upcoming fall.

Yes, the application process takes forever - it's basically the way they weed people out. In general, as long you clear medically, if you can make it through the wait and not give up on it, then you're in. This may be changing this year because the programs are getting cut back a lot due to funding being cut. I know my country is getting about 1/3 less volunteers in the upcoming group... so maybe it'll be more difficult starting this year? I think one thing I didn't realize while applying was that just because you're nominated for one region, doesn't mean you'll get an invitation for there. I was first supposed to go to Sub-Saharan Africa (where I wanted to go) then they called and asked me if I would agree to a Mid East/North Africa nom, which I did (and got super pumped for) just to get an invite for Eastern Europe. I turned down my first invite (to Ukraine) and although they freak out and act like you'll never get in for declining an invitation, I was then invited the following day to where I am. (Both of my invites were over the phone because I was asked right at the 6 week deadline for invitations). Moral of the story - make sure you'll be happy where you're going before signing off for 2 years.

PC is both what you expect and not what you expect. It's not as fulfilling as you think it will be. Yes, it can be great, it can be very meaningful to you personally, but most of the time, you wonder if you're doing anything actually helpful and dealing with a lot of frustration. I'm TEFL in a village out here, and I can say that very few students can speak English any better than they could when I arrived, mostly because they don't actually want to learn it. The biggest thing of me being here is simply the cultural exchange, and having them see that there are other acceptable ways of living your life.

Peace Corps is a wonderful, albeit frustrating, experience and I highly recommend it. However, I would say not to go into it with these grand notions of actually changing the world completely, and also don't go into it just because you can't find a job and think it's something to do for two years. There are many people in PC for the wrong reasons, and there is a lot of ET-ing (early termination).

I'm hoping to be able to get a PC Fellowship, although I'm concerned with how competitive they might be (since it's not so much of a stretch for PCVs to want to get an MPP in International Development, now is it?) Otherwise, I'd say there are a lot of personal benefits from PC service - you really do learn a LOT about yourself, and what is important to you. Also, it never hurts on a job application to show what you were able to do during your service (although I'll be able to vouch more on that hopefully next year!)

Although it probably doesn't seem like it now, the majority of them will get over it. They will start their own assistantships, enjoy them, and can't imagine having another position. They will find off campus housing and start loving their apartments. They will bond with members of their cohort and make new friends. Their initial disappointments will fade away into the excitement of starting a new program.

I honestly won't stress about how they will react. For the reasonable, it will be a non-issue. It is possible that a couple people will let it fester, but there is not much you can do about it. Some people are not happy no matter what the situation. If they let this defeat them, it's sad-- but it is not your problem. Surround yourself with people who will be happy for your successes and return the support/accolades when they are successful. That is how you survive grad school and build a strong professional network.

Good luck!

I found this description in a psychology graduate student handbook at a highly regarded public institution. Hope it helps.

"Work in Graded Courses. The standards are:
A+ Distinguished (rare: one student in three or four years).
A Outstanding.
A- Superior.
B+ Typical and solid performance.
B Competent, but a little below expectations.
B- Weakness (a message to the student that s/he needs to perform at a higher level if a Ph.D. is the goal).
C Failure (not at graduate level).
IN Incomplete."

I just finished my first year of a soc degree, so I will take a stab at the answers. Understand though, that the answers are really specific to your program. My department hooked us up with mentors, maybe yours will do that as well. If not, try to get in touch with a grad student (you could email the dgs and say you have questions and ask them to recommend a grad student to email)to ask them.


1. My first year we were to take three graded classes and a p/f professions course. The graded courses were in theory, methods, stats, and an elective.
After the first year we don't really have any course load requirements.

2. In our department, they don't accept people unless they can fund them or the student has outside funding (fellowship). I would suppose that you could volunteer to TA/RA. Most professors will not turn away free help.


3. My first year: 20 hours (or less) of TA duties, 10 credit hours of coursework. Busy pretty much all the time.


4. Talk to lots of faculty and grad students to find out what they are working on, read tons. Don't be shy about setting up appointments with faculty members to chat about their research and your interests. They may be able to point you in a good direction. Don't be afraid to say no if they are trying to morph your interests into something that isn't you, though! As far as producing quality work: Read, listen, take notes. Be prepared to feel completely and utterly stupid and unqualified. And don't let tons of "constructive feedback" get the best of you. That part was pretty shocking to me, who was used to getting lots and lots of praise for my writing in undergrad.

Um, steer clear from department drama. From what I've seen from others mistakes: don't sleep around with other students in your department. It gets messy. I swear, there has been more drama in my department this first year then all of my undergrad years.

Make friends with the secretaries- be NICE. They're usually the ones that make sure you get into the necessary classes, research materials, and departmental paperwork done on time. (Also, never refer to them as "secretaries"- you should know their names anyway). Also, it doesn't hurt to be friendly with the janitors too.

Also, figure out which faculty are the big kahunas and always mind your P's and Q's around them.

Although I am entering as a new Ph.d candidate this year, I remember very well my MA program, and so I am basically taking some of my own advice, which I will note for you guys here in case you'd like to follow my example.

1. I always contact my profs in advance for any readings or assignments I can start in the summer. I am in English, so this is usually a BIG timesaver. During my MA program, I taught for a program which required us to read and lead discussions on a reading packet (which had over 500 pages!!). I read and took notes on the packet in the summer, so that when the fall semester hit, all i had to do was look over my old notes and I was ready to teach. Right now, I've already begun contacting profs, and they have been giving me suggested readings. I have the summer off, so I am planning to hit the books and get ahead, which has always been the secret to my success (I rarely get too stressed out).

2. TIME MANAGEMENT. Let me say that again: TIME MANAGEMENT!!!!! When I get an assignment (for an essay, say), I don't wait until a week before it's due to get started. I IMMEDIATELY go to the library (sometimes directly after the class) and start compiling the materials I will need. I keep a detailed planner keeping track of what assignments are due when. With good time management, you don't have to do any all-nighters or be miserable because you don't have any free time. Work hard, work efficiently, and you WILL have time for fun in your life, even in your first year. In my first year as an MA student, I taught 9 hours a week for the linguistics department, making all my own lesson plans. I also took 3 full seminars. And yet, I don't remember being particularly stressed out. I set aside my Saturday mornings for lesson planning, and I'd plan my teaching for the entire week, setting aside all the materials I would need and making sure to make any required copies. Then the rest of the weekend would be for homework, research, etc., but I'd often go to a cafe and take time to go to the gym or take a walk. For me, grad school has always been WAY easier than working a 9 to 5 in a cubicle somewhere. In grad school, you make your own hours. If you're nocturnal, you can work all night if you want. If you're a morning person, you can get up at 4am to study. Perhaps the freedom of it all is what gets people into trouble....

3. Do NOT procrastinate. In undergrad, you could get away with cramming the day before the test, or staying up all night the night before an assignment was due, busting out a 5-page essay in 8 hours. In grad school, your profs will KNOW sloppy work for what it is. Get working on stuff early.

4. Communicate. You may not like many of your profs. In fact, a great many of them are arrogant a-holes. They may be condescending, or treat you like dirt. This is irrelevant. You have to put your personal feelings aside and communicate with them in a professional manner. I absolutely loathed several of my profs in grad school, but I smiled and did my best to visit them at office hours and ask them for advice. Trust me. It works.

5. Make sure the people on your committee are people you respect, and who will help you. Don't just get anybody who agrees to be on your committee. Be very, very careful. These are the people who will approve or deny your thesis/dissertation. You want people who will help you revise, or guide you along the way, not a prof who is already mentoring 8 other people, is never around, is 8 months pregnant, is near death or chronically ill, is head of a department and exceedingly busy, etc. etc. etc. You are going to want to show your work in progress and get guidance. Make sure the people you choose are the right people.

And of course, take time to relax and have a little fun. Audit an undergraduate course in something that interests you (sorry, I'm a nerd, that's what I do for "fun"). Go camping for a weekend when you're ahead on your work. Go study in an outdoor cafe--get Out of the house/library, for god's sake! Life is short. If you're not having a good time, you're doing something wrong.

Can some of you please elaborate on navigating department politics. What to look for, who to ask, what absolutely not to do, horror stories, whatever

Politics: Academics are a genteel bunch, generally speaking. They usually won't say anything outright negative about other people (partially because it's such a small world and that person might be on a committee you're on next year - or even better, on your grant or tenure review committee). Look for the veiled references, the awkward silences, the pointed omissions. Ask current graduate students, too, before you tie yourself to someone because they are far more willing to be frank with you about your advisors.

As a grad student, having a powerful advocate for you within the department is great. Assistant professors can be awesome but they generally cannot fulfill the role of a powerful advocate. My advisor is an assistant professor, but I have another official advisor who is a full professor and an informal advisor who's associate. Their contacts in the university have been invaluable in helping me through some bureaucratic nightmares. One example: I TAed in the department my full professor advisor is appointed in and partway through the semester, I was told I would not be compensated (long story). I fought the good fight with financial aid on my own for weeks getting nowhere. I mentioned it to my advisor and within two weeks the money was in my account. Work with people who can advocate for you.

My advice:

-I'm gonna go the opposite of snarky and say *don't* volunteer for stuff. It depends on your department culture, but volunteering for too much can add way too much on your plate.

-Don't lose yourself. Grad school has a way of taking you over and taking the joy out of a lot of the things you would otherwise rather be doing than work, because you feel guilty about not doing work just about any time that you aren't doing work. Find a way to beat that feeling and maintain who you are. Hold onto cherished hobbies, read a pleasure book every now and then, allow yourself mindless reality television or whatever your guilt is.

-Corollary to above: Decide right now what you are willing to sacrifice for this degree and the requisite career after it. What is important to you? If you have to list it out on paper, do that. Now think about which of those things you are willing to give up in exchange for quality of your work and career. Good research takes time; great research takes more time; excellent research takes even more time and being a superstar takes most of your time. Realize that there is NO shame in realizing early on that you do not want to be a superstar.

-Sometimes, the best advisors aren't the ones with the closest research to your own but the ones you get along with the best, and who are really dedicated to getting you up and out.

-A paper will never be good if it's not done.

-If you are interested in non-academic jobs...find out what you need to do to get them, and do those things. Don't let anyone (advisors, colleagues, etc.) browbeat you or persuade you to drop your non-academic aspirations, if you know that the professor life is not for you. I've found that advisors have unrealistic expectations about the ease with which their students will get tt jobs after grad school.

-If you have health insurance and need to see a therapist, use it. You'd probably be surprised to know how many people in your department are battling mental health issues and talking to therapists. (Everyone in my cohort is or was.) Grad school threatens that mental health. Work on it.

-I agree with the chair advice. I already had chronic back pain when I came to grad school and grad school has made it worse. However, a decent chair helps a lot. I didn't have the money to spring for a $300 desk chair (that will be the next step though, maybe next year) but I did get a $70 one from Wal-Mart that gives me pretty decent support. I can't sit in it forever, but 4-6 hours is usually all I want to sit there for anyway and I can usually get through that pretty comfortably. (The education school here has EXCELLENT desk chairs in their meeting rooms - they feel like sitting on a cloud, and my back doesn't even notice them. But I'm sure they were like $600 a piece or something, lol. That's what inspired me to get a mesh chair next time I buy a chair).

The response from people I don't know very well:
Them: "Wow, the US!"
Me: "Yep, the US!"
Them: "And for how long is that? One year? Two?"
Me: "Five. Theoretically."
Them: "Five... (indefinite shocked silence, while they carefully back away)"