wildviolet

Our college (not graduate school) has a policy of a 5-year funding cap because we're supposed to finish in 5 years or less. What that means is that sixth year and beyond students are not guaranteed funding, especially for "extra" things like conference travel. However, if they can find research or teaching assistantships, then they can be funded that way. I think it can be a good idea to motivate students to get done on time... I mean, why would you want to stay longer than you have to? On the other hand, I understand if things come up and you must extend your time in graduate school.

I have meetings to plan future meetings. I have meetings where everyone gets to have their say and then the PI just decides what they want to do anyway (seriously, why did we just spend an hour talking about ALL the possibilities... just make the darn decision already!). I have long, long email threads about logistics... where, when to meet? Oops, someone can't make it now, let's ALL look at our schedules again. These things drive me crazy!!! BUT, they are a necessary part of working on research projects with large groups of people. Most of the big grants in my field go to PIs with co-PIs. This means that at least two or more researchers, often in different parts of the country (and time zones), must coordinate. Research is a messy process. Nothing's a straight line. Nothing's for sure. I dislike the uncertainty--just my personality, I guess. But I have to learn how to deal with it. Not sure that I've found a "solution" yet. I usually just laugh it off. It helps to have good colleagues and support personnel to work with. When do I actually get to DO research? I don't know, I guess that depends on your definition of research. In the broadest sense, if "research" is everything that I do to get this research published, then I suppose pretty much everything I'm doing is research in the sense that everything I'm doing is supporting getting the research done.

Hi there! I like surefire's advice. I wouldn't worry about it too much. We all face self-doubt at times, so I wouldn't let this prevent you from applying to top schools. You never know if you don't apply! One thing I've learned is that you don't have to be good at everything in order to be successful in graduate school. I see that some professors are better at networking and getting others (like their post-docs and graduate students) to do the work for them... well, not really FOR them, but kind of like how a good boss or leader knows how to select good people to work for her? Some professors have little social skills and have to work really hard at connecting with others. Some professors are great thinkers but not as good at teaching. And so on. You know the saying, "one step forward, two steps backward"? That's kind of like how graduate school is, at least for me. One minute you think you're doing well, and then the next minute--bam! You hit a wall. Well, don't let the wall stop you! I guess the other thing I've learned in graduate school is that perseverance is key. Keep trying. And don't worry about little setbacks. We all have them from time to time, and I wouldn't even consider the grade you got a setback! Look at it this way--you want professors who will give you honest feedback and tell you if you need to do better. It's not about not being good enough--it's about trying to figure out your strengths and weaknesses, and working on those weaknesses. Graduate school is the best place to "try things out." Experiment. Push boundaries. I feel like I'm rambling a bit, so hopefully this makes sense to you. If not, I apologize, and wish you the best of luck!

You seem really thoughtful. I'm not sure what I would do in your situation because, in my experience, the process of applying to graduate school was so unexpected. I thought I knew which schools I wanted to apply to. I did a lot of research (or, as much as I could via the Internet). Once I started talking to people, however, I ended up choosing a school in a part of the country that I never ever thought I would live in. And my research area is partly in something that I didn't even know existed because it's so new--I didn't even learn about it in my recently completed Master's program. So my point, I think, is that the future is too uncertain. I understand that you want to do the best for yourself and the company you'll be working for during the next year or so. But, I also think you have to do what's best for you regardless of the impact on the company. Kind of like a personal relationship, I guess. They will move on and find other people. In terms of savings, save as much as you can before going to graduate school. Good luck!

I've been driving a Honda Odyssey forever! It was great for moving my stuff cross-country. I don't like the bulkiness of it--sometimes it's hard to park. Otherwise, it's been a fine vehicle. I would love to trade it in for a smaller, more gas-efficient car, but the best thing about my car is that it's paid off and with luck will last me through the rest of grad school. I don't have to drive very much now, but it's nice to have a car for weekend trips or when it's too hot or cold to walk to class. Several of my friends have bought cars in grad school, though--new ones! They have spouses or other ways of affording new car payments, I guess. For some reason, people here seem to get into all sorts of minor and major car accidents. I've lucked out in that area of my life--never been in an accident or even having to deal with major car troubles, and I've been driving since I was 16.

Can anyone comment on the Lo and Sons Brookline, which is a 15-inch laptop tote? I don't think I'd need the O.G. or O.M.G. since I don't do gyms and travel by plane only once or twice a year. Their video is very helpful--I just want to know that someone has actually used it and liked it! Oh, and by the way, on their website they are advertising 20% OFF until July 6th!

In my program, several people missed the two-day orientation. No big deal at my institution. We received a packet and lots of information--too much to process! There are also a few people in my program who teach public school full-time. Good luck!

I'm in the pre-dissertation phase, so I meet with my adviser for one hour every other week. I've heard that that may go up to once per week during the dissertation phase. At first, I thought that one hour every other week adds up to only 2 hours per month... and that that was not a whole lot of "me" time. However, it has worked out well. Sometimes we talk about program milestones, paperwork, or the hoops you have to jump through. Most of the time, we talk about whatever is on my mind at the moment... a class assignment I'm struggling with, what I'm reading, or what I find interesting/exciting in my RA and TA jobs. I see him lots of other times during the week for research group meetings, but these adviser meetings are for me and my needs. I see them as a chance for him to get to know me and my interests/struggles/etc. We are continuing them during the summer on an "as needed" basis.

And my friend just introduced me to this one:

I came across this today, which made me rethink getting an automatic litter box.

We got the kittens! And they are so adorable!

This thread was so helpful! We just went to the shelter today and saw two adorable 2-month old brothers. We might get them on Monday... because I was stupid and forgot to bring my lease that says that we can have cats, and they wouldn't let us take them today. So, if the kittens are still there on Monday (and I can't go right when they open, and the shelter won't hold the kittens for us), then maybe it's a sign that it's meant to be!

I agree with this. My ex-husband started a PhD program in the sciences because he didn't know what else to do at that time (it's hard to do anything with just a BS in Physics). Anyway, he dropped out after 2 years of grad school, and they gave him a MS degree for taking courses and passing part of his comps. I think he wasn't motivated to pursue academic work, and academia wouldn't have suited him anyway. Well, turns out he can't keep his attention on anything for very long... a year at a job, and he's itching to "move on" and "move up." He wasn't satisfied with what he had. In the end, I think we didn't value the same things. We were both college educated (same college, actually, which is where we met), and the chemistry was there, but ultimately, we didn't want the same things in life. Honestly, I don't know what the secret is... I'm still looking! But, at least from my past exeriences, I would say that whether someone has a college education or not has little to do with how intelligent, compassionate, and honest someone is. Of course, I say this, and I'm crushing on a fellow grad student! Oh, and I just wanted to add that one of my grad student colleagues recently married a guy who's a manager of a fast food restaurant. She seems very happy!

*the math team --> Yes, but only because my friends were, I actually wasn't very good at math *Chess team --> I don't think we had a chess team, but if we did, I didn't know about it *band geek --> Orchestra and choir, not band (those people tended to be different from the orchestra/choir people) *took all AP/IB classes --> Yes *did research --> Yes *tutored --> Yes, as part of an AP class requirement *spent summers interning --> Kind of, one summer I did spend doing intensive research at the local university *involved in academic extracurriculars --> Not really *competed in a Spelling Bee --> No *spent years studying for the SAT/ACT --> a good summer *dreamed about getting into college --> Yes *dreamed about getting into grad school --> Yes *took college classes --> No *took classes for college credit --> No *studied a few hours every day --> Yes *studied on weekends --> Yes *anything else I haven't though of --> Dance and musical theater productions, regional choir, singing competitions My high school program was an accelerated (i.e., AP-based, college-prep) program within a large comprehensive and diverse high school. So all these things that you listed were/are part of the culture of college prep programs, I suppose. I enjoyed it for the most part--I didn't always study as hard as I could have, I hated doing math homework, and I slacked off sometimes, but still pulled off decent grades (A's and B's). Looking back, I guess I would consider myself a "nerd," but when I was in high school, "nerd" was a bad word, glasses were not cool (like they are today), and since everyone in my program was a "nerd," none of us really stood out.

Oh no! Friday evenings are usually my social days, and Saturdays are usually spent recuperating from the week, cleaning my apartment, and getting ready for the next week (I suppose that's not really fun, but at least it gives me peace of mind).

Oh dear, he's been gone mostly this semester and will be leaving the country soon. But, he had his chance, as I had told him that I liked him (that was nervewracking!), and he was all like, "thank you, but I'm leaving soon and I don't want to have any ties.... we can be good friends." He didn't say he didn't like me, just that he didn't want to start a relationship when he knew that he would be leaving soon. So noble of him, which of course just made me like him all the more!

What do you mean? Mr. Shy Guy and I walked out of class together again! And we talked for a bit--school stuff, but whatever, it was nice. The story isn't quite over yet!

Sure! I've been lucky to get some extra work on the side and fellowships to be able to shop at Nordstroms. Quality, not quantity!

Nice!!!

Oh, wow. If I were in your situation, I would probably... definitely fantasize about him. But, I wouldn't "flirt" at all or do anything in his presence to make it seem as if I were interested. It's a tough situation. I hope it works out for you!

This is not unusual. Schools do it to recruit candidates that they think are highly qualified, will complete the program successfully, and go on to do great things. So you should feel proud and worthy! While I did not receive a fellowship that freed me from RA/TA assignments, I did receive a scholarship from the graduate school that paid FOR my RA/TA assignments my first year so that the funds did not have to come out of my department or my professor's grants. While that meant that things for me did not change (i.e., it didn't matter to me where my funding was coming from), I found that my professor and department chair seemed impressed by this scholarship because they were rare, especially for students in our department. Congrats, again!

That's really nice! I wish my department did that, but I think we must be too big, even though I'm sure not everyone would show up every week. We have monthly breakfasts and biweekly lunches, but sadly no booze.

YouTube... makeup tutorials, music videos, acoustic covers of popular songs, reviews of acoustic guitars (I'm in the market for one). Online shopping... Nordstroms, Amazon, Sephora... the UPS guy must know my address by heart by now. Food... cheeseburgers, McDonald's fish burgers, fried chicken wings (Popeye's and Korean-style).

Yeah, I'm kind of glad I don't know who he dated, just that it's someone in our program a couple of years ahead of me. I do know, however, that he was crushing big time on one of my friends/colleagues and that it was super obvious in class. In my program you tend not to see people much after you're done with classes and you're just working on research/teaching/your own stuff.

LOL, it's been a while, hasn't it? So, I'm very glad I didn't ask Mr. Shy Guy out because I found out a few months ago that he was dating another girl in our program (I don't know who), but they broke up (yippeeeeee!). Not sure when they were dating, but it must have been during the past year or so. This gives me hope that: (1) he apparently likes girls; (2) he's had some experience dating girls; and (3) he might be forward enough to ask a girl out. Because I'm really not comfortable with the thought of asking him out. Nope, not gonna do it! And, it turns out that this semester, we have two classes together. So, we've gotten to know each other better through being in class together... and talking about mostly school-related stuff... and we've gotten to see more of each other's personality. I can't tell if he's interested in me or not, but... lately I've noticed that he tends to walk out with me after class, and we'll talk on our way to the parking lot (you know how you can kind of time your exit with someone else so you just happen to be walking out together?). Bottom line is that... this has turned from less of a "crush" to more of a "let's-see-if-I-like-you" kind of thing. And, I like talking with him, I feel comfortable around him, we make each other laugh, and I think he's awfully cute when he smiles! We're nearing the end of the semester. I'm not sure what will happen next... but I'll let you all know if he asks me out!