Post-Acceptance, Pre-Visit

[punctilious]

2 minutes ago, clinamen said:

Hi @punctilious ! Idk if this helps you guys but there isn't an official visit day for BC! They have just sort of invited us to come when it works for our individual schedules :) 

Well then! That answers that question! Thank you so much for letting us know.  Hoping we will have to be in the Boston area for a visit anyway (BU... Tufts... Brandeis... Harvard... u there?) so perhaps we can stop by!

[Crow T. Robot]

Stupid question, but one of my biggest anxieties is accidentally committing some kind of faux pas involving titles... how do y'all address professors in your communication with them? I've been addressing them as Professor X (lol) until/unless they sign off with just their first name, at which point I just use their first name. Thoughts?

[M(allthevowels)H]

8 minutes ago, Crow T. Robot said:

Stupid question, but one of my biggest anxieties is accidentally committing some kind of faux pas involving titles... how do y'all address professors in your communication with them? I've been addressing them as Professor X (lol) until/unless they sign off with just their first name, at which point I just use their first name. Thoughts?

Kind of. I've been doing "Dr. X" for first communication and then just addressing them by whatever they sign off with in their reply. Now I'm thinking that "Dr" is too formal?

[bumbleblu]

26 minutes ago, Crow T. Robot said:

Stupid question, but one of my biggest anxieties is accidentally committing some kind of faux pas involving titles... how do y'all address professors in your communication with them? I've been addressing them as Professor X (lol) until/unless they sign off with just their first name, at which point I just use their first name. Thoughts?

This is how I roll

[a_sort_of_fractious_angel]

1 hour ago, Crow T. Robot said:

Stupid question, but one of my biggest anxieties is accidentally committing some kind of faux pas involving titles... how do y'all address professors in your communication with them? I've been addressing them as Professor X (lol) until/unless they sign off with just their first name, at which point I just use their first name. Thoughts?

I've been doing Dr. even if they use their first name. Its feels a bit formal and sometimes cringey for me (I had one phone conversation where they were like "hello, it's [first name]" and I panicked and was like "hello, Dr [last name]" and I felt like a Batman villain) but I think that following their lead is just as fine as sticking to Dr. or Professor. I'm almost positive they do not put nearly as much mental energy into their salutations as we do.

*Also, this is not a stupid question - this is a great question and I spend a lot of time fretting over if I'm coming off as weirdly formal and, if so, am I within the boundaries of normal weird or not.

Edited February 15, 2018 by a_sort_of_fractious_angel

[jrockford27]

Rule of thumb, address them as Dr. until they tell you not to (they should do this very quickly unless they're way into titles).

Edited February 15, 2018 by jrockford27

[unicornsarereal]

dr rather than professor?? dr seems very odd to me. 

[chellyfish_]

Popping in to ask this before wondering about it breaks my brain   If a school you're admitted to asks to talk in person on the phone, to explain the financial package you're getting and to answer any questions about the department as a whole, are you supposed to enter into this with questions prepared?  And what sorts of questions might that be?  (The ones I'm thinking up seem somehow adversarial, ie/ if they have any particular student groups for my field, how often classes in the time period are offered, etc?  They feel almost inappropriately specific?)  Any help here would be appreciated!

[Carly Rae Jepsen]

Hello everybody!

I'm not in the English department (French here) but I'm also in-between acceptances and visits. My first visit will be to WashU St. Louis later this month and I'm really excited. I plan to ask about the curriculum, student life, placement, and just get to know faculty members. I also really want to get a feel of the city!

Then I'll go to Stanford three days after that and I'm just nervous because I haven't been officially accepted. I feel like being myself is the way to go, but I'll also research more about the faculty members I'm meeting. I have family in the Bay area so hopefully I'll get to see the city too!

And then 2 weeks later I'll go to Indiana U Bloomington.

The tips here are really useful, I was worried about the dress code so I think I'll do business casual just to be on the cautious side.

 

[hotpotato]

A school called the other day to confirm times so they could book flights for me, but I was distracted by something else, so I completely forgot to ask if there would be time to see the area on my own after the official visit days. Is it weird or presumptuous to email them and ask if I could extend my stay by a day, with any additional fees or costs covered by me? (she asks belatedly, after already doing it)

[klader]

4 hours ago, unicornsarereal said:

dr rather than professor?? dr seems very odd to me. 

One of the people I've been communicating with keeps signing off "Prof. X," so I think it really just depends. Some are cool with first names, some not. I usually default with Dr. to err on the side of respectful. 

[chellyfish_]

10 minutes ago, hotpotato said:

A school called the other day to confirm times so they could book flights for me, but I was distracted by something else, so I completely forgot to ask if there would be time to see the area on my own after the official visit days. Is it weird or presumptuous to email them and ask if I could extend my stay by a day, with any additional fees or costs covered by me? (she asks belatedly, after already doing it)

Nope, I personally don't think so!    Offering to cover additional costs is a good step to take.  In a weird hard-to-explain story, I was having dinner with a UPenn professor who's often doing admissions, and she said that the time between when they accept you and you accept them should be the funnest time for admits,  because it's when the school basically wants to court you for your favor  

Edited February 16, 2018 by chellyfish_

[hotpotato]

@chellyfish_ lol! It is nice to be courted, as opposed to the rest of the app process, which feels more like throwing yourself at the feet of a bunch of aloof, beautiful people who don't return your texts.

Edited February 16, 2018 by hotpotato

[Glasperlenspieler]

7 hours ago, unicornsarereal said:

dr rather than professor?? dr seems very odd to me. 

I've always preferred Frau Professor Doktor ______ / Herr Professor Doktor.

[FishNerd]

17 hours ago, klader said:

One of the people I've been communicating with keeps signing off "Prof. X," so I think it really just depends. Some are cool with first names, some not. I usually default with Dr. to err on the side of respectful. 

I've been referring to all the professors I speak with as Dr. SoandSo even if they sign off on their emails as their first name. I figure when I actually meet them in person they will let me know whether to call them by their first name or not, and only after that will I refer to them by their first name. Not sure if that's the right way to do it or not but I've been thinking the same thing as Klader says - better to "err on the side of respectful." I'm sure most professors ultimately don't care too much but I feel weird calling them by their first name until they explicitly tell me to.

[bpilgrim89]

I actually had a professor correct me from calling them Prof. X to Dr. X. I say start with Dr. X. It is better to start too formal in these situations and get it chalked up to anxiety than start too casual and get it chalked up to arrogance.

[chellyfish_]

3 hours ago, bpilgrim89 said:

I actually had a professor correct me from calling them Prof. X to Dr. X. I say start with Dr. X. It is better to start too formal in these situations and get it chalked up to anxiety than start too casual and get it chalked up to arrogance.

Holy cow, that is so extra hahah.  I've always done Prof X but maybe I'll switch it up...jeez! 

[klader]

4 hours ago, bpilgrim89 said:

I actually had a professor correct me from calling them Prof. X to Dr. X. I say start with Dr. X. It is better to start too formal in these situations and get it chalked up to anxiety than start too casual and get it chalked up to arrogance.

I HAD A PROF WHO CORRECTED THIS TOO!!! He said "Professor X" implies that he was a full professor, which he was not, and that Dr. X more accurately reflects his position. 

ETA: Was gonna edit out the "Prof" in "I had a prof who," but I'm keeping it because the accidental irony amuses me. 

Edited February 16, 2018 by klader

[FreakyFoucault]

11 minutes ago, klader said:

He said "Professor X" implies that he was a full professor,

Man, Assistant and Associate Professors really can't catch a break, can they! To be honest, I think that guy is being a little too punctilious (no offense, @punctilious). Given the fairly broad etymology of "professor," I'd say that even non-tenure-track instructors at universities deserve the title, if they so desire. 

[punctilious]

4 minutes ago, FreakyFoucault said:

Man, Assistant and Associate Professors really can't catch a break, can they! To be honest, I think that guy is being a little too punctilious (no offense, @punctilious). Given the fairly broad etymology of "professor," I'd say that even non-tenure-track instructors at universities deserve the title, if they so desire. 

Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and not be punctilious and continue calling all of my professors Professor. I've never had an objection and they were at all different 'levels' of professorship.

 

[ltr317]

4 hours ago, FreakyFoucault said:

Man, Assistant and Associate Professors really can't catch a break, can they! To be honest, I think that guy is being a little too punctilious (no offense, @punctilious). Given the fairly broad etymology of "professor," I'd say that even non-tenure-track instructors at universities deserve the title, if they so desire. 

One of my favorite classes was taught by a Lecturer, who is a great teacher.  I called him Professor when I was in his class, and still call him the same whenever I see him now.  He deserves my respect and I'm sure he appreciates it.     

[renea]

On 2/15/2018 at 6:59 PM, hotpotato said:

A school called the other day to confirm times so they could book flights for me, but I was distracted by something else, so I completely forgot to ask if there would be time to see the area on my own after the official visit days. Is it weird or presumptuous to email them and ask if I could extend my stay by a day, with any additional fees or costs covered by me? (she asks belatedly, after already doing it)

Ugh I wish I had thought of asking this. I'm going to a visit next weekend which is a 3 day/two night stay with two days being travel. I told the graduate coordinator booking the flight that I was open to leaving early my first day and staying late my second because I wanted to see the area, and she ended up booking me a flight getting in at 9pm and leaving at 7am. I'm so grateful that they're paying for everything, but I'm basically only going to be there for one day which doesn't seem like any time to do anything besides see the school. 

[CulturalCriminal]

I always put Dr. X in emails, if they have PhDs. And I hate the idea of being called Dr X someday. Despite this hatred, Dr is more appropriate over correspondence. 

[ashley623]

I find this conversation about titles quite interesting and funny. I call all of my former professors Dr. X, even the one I have met at Starbucks after I graduated and the one I'm Facebook friends with that randomly texted me last week 

[maengret]

I start with Dr and, like others, switch to first name when they switch to first name. Mine or theirs. I may be wrong about this etiquette-wise, but I follow this rule: once a more senior person addresses me in the familiar first name, we’re first name people. i know there are professors who think familiar address should be between peers only, and students are not peers. By my thinking, that kind of professor would keep the formal address of Mx Jones when talking to a student. 

I hate this stuff. It reinforces elitism and classism.