dealing with classmates

[soontobeslp2018]

For those of you who are waitlisted, how are you dealing with classmates who have been accepted and keep asking you about your plans? It seems like daily I get asked by classmates if I've been taken off the waitlist anywhere. I'm also starting to notice that I'm becoming more jealous of my classmates who have been accepted/ getting snippy with people who constantly ask me about it. I know I should be happy for my classmates, and I am, but I just wish people were a little more respectful of my privacy since they know I don't have good news yet. I just don't know what to do anymore

[fuzzylogician]

Since the people asking are well-meaning, I find that it's usually best to just be honest: "I don't have anything new to report yet, but I promise to tell you as soon as I do." And if it's appropriate: "I know people mean well when they ask this question, but it's hard for me to handle right now. I promise I'll let everyone know as soon as I do, but for now it'd be great if everyone would just stop asking." They're excited for themselves and not thinking through what it must be like for you, but since the intention is good, explaining the situation might be all you need to do. 

[hopefulslp1]

I went through a very similar situation that you are currently going through. I decided last year not to apply due to a low gpa and just felt like I didn't have a chance. Meanwhile all my friends were getting accepted into top programs (my roommate was accepted to all her schools). Whenever friends in class would start talking about graduate school I would usually tune them out and focus on my work or just go along with the conversation. I know it's hard because the jealousy definitely does creep up and sometimes I was fighting back tears because I wished so badly I was in their position. You just need to remind yourself to be happy for them and -most importantly- tell yourself that things will work out for you in the end. I know it seems like it totally won't right now but trust me they will. I'm a huge believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason and I constantly reminded myself of that last year. I also made sure to spend time with other friends who weren't in my major because they always took my mind off of grad school and kind of help take that edge off. And just like the person above me said, if people are asking you about it, just politely tell them that you'd rather not talk about that right now and when you have an update you'll let them know. 

[MassSLP2be]

Even after being accepted, I'm still conscious of the fact that I was often waiting to hear back WEEKS after my other classmates had been accepted into programs that I had also applied to, or waitlisted to schools that several of my classmates were accepted to. During my whole senior year I've been very susceptible to anxiety brought on by my classmates talking about the application process, admissions decisions, and now plans for the future. It can be very hard to not be affected by this, and I'm proud of you for still trying to keep a brave face despite being bombarded with questions!

I second hopefulslp1's advice on spending time with friends who aren't in your major. These people are truly your greatest allies when you feel overwhelmed. Whether you want to discuss grad school with them or not, I think they're valuable company to turn to.

How I've handled my emotions throughout this time of year may not be the smartest solution for everyone, but as someone who already deals with anxiety in general, I did whatever I thought would be best for me at that time. There were plenty of days when I would wait until just before class began to come in and sit down, so I wouldn't hear or be asked about grad school. There were other times when I came in with headphones on while I waited for class to start, which helped tune everyone out. When asked questions it was REALLY hard for me to not get snippy, but I'd say "You'll know when I know!" and change the conversation.

I also think that your professors can be wonderful resources to have when you're stressed about something like this! I used to be afraid to talk to professors about how upset I was that I hadn't heard back when other people did, or that I got waitlisted to a school that plenty of other people got into. I felt like I was being irrational. But every time I reached out to talk about my frustration, I was listened to without judgement, and given advice I never knew I needed. We can forget sometimes that our professors went through this experience too!

The future feels scary. But for now, focus on the present, and do whatever brings you some comfort.

[Thetis94]

I went through this too until I heard back from a school, except it was was with my close friend, since I'm not in undergrad anymore. My friend graduated with a low GPA from her university and with a degree that wouldn't land her a job (like the csd bachelor's lol). Eventually she found out the school that was my top choice (which she mocked me for wanting because "so many people go there from hs") would accept her as a transfer undergrad and let her do another bachelor's WHILE also taking masters classes so she could get her masters. 

I heard about it for months. Months! How she couldn't believe it. How she was so excited. How she was finally going to be able to do something. How her life was falling perfectly. I was so annoyed and kinda snapped on her lol. Basically along the lines of, hey I'm happy for ya, but enough already, try applying to a program that's actually competitive. 

My advice is politely tell them you'll give them an update when you hear good news, because the stress of waiting and constantly having to explain you haven't heard anything yet makes it even worse. 

[LittleBirdy]

22 hours ago, MassSLP2be said:

MassSLP2b wondering if you removed yourself from Louisville's waitlist yet? Have a friend hoping to get in there....

 

[MassSLP2be]

17 hours ago, LittleBirdy said:

 

Hi,

I was going to take myself off the waitlist but I just received an email this morning that said they have filled all their spots for accepted students and are no longer accepting applicants for next Fall. I wish your friend the best of luck.