fifa0001 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I am depressed because my mom kept on making a big deal about me being rejected by Yale. I mean just because I didn't make it doesn't make me a loser. I told her I wanted to go to UCSD in the very beginning. Why can't she be happy for me that I am going to where I wanted to go.
KreacherKeeper Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I am depressed because my mom kept on making a big deal about me being rejected by Yale. I mean just because I didn't make it doesn't make me a loser. I told her I wanted to go to UCSD in the very beginning. Why can't she be happy for me that I am going to where I wanted to go. Mom's really don't have a clue when it comes to all of this. My mom thinks that I am smart therefore I will get into anything I want to do in life, and so she ignores me when I tell her its stressful. To make matters worse, she does not seem to get how long all of this stuff takes. For example, "What did you do today?" Answer: I worked on my SOP. Mom: Oh that's all you did, I see you need a break sometimes. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! We have to love and honor them, but sometimes we also just have to realize Mom's don't have a clue! Silent_Bobina 1
everygirl Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I agree with the worries about what to tell LOR professors. I'm bought them both cute (appropriate) presents. At the time I got the presents, I thought I should wait to give them as they would be good to go with my thank you notes that also had my acceptance news in them. But now I wish I had just given the presents early. How depressing would it be to open the cute present, reach for the card and see "I got rejected from every school I applied to. Thanks for believing in me, but it was a waste of your time, energy, and letter writing skills. Here's a cute present though!"
eco_env Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I've been postponing my thank you letters to my LoR profs 'cause I have this fantasy of giving them some awesome news....so far it's 3 rejections, 1 waitlist, and 2 have been silent. Wondering if I should just give them the thank you letters or hold out for some confirmations. I wrote a short thank you email after they wrote the letters, so i don't really feel like i have to write again if I have no news. right?
kaz Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 What's the cute present? I'm not sure what to get to thank my LOR writers. I agree with the worries about what to tell LOR professors. I'm bought them both cute (appropriate) presents. At the time I got the presents, I thought I should wait to give them as they would be good to go with my thank you notes that also had my acceptance news in them. But now I wish I had just given the presents early. How depressing would it be to open the cute present, reach for the card and see "I got rejected from every school I applied to. Thanks for believing in me, but it was a waste of your time, energy, and letter writing skills. Here's a cute present though!"
ZeeMore21 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Even though I have been relatively successful in my admissions, I am still depressed. I know that I will be moving to an as of now unknown new city where I have no friends, no family, and will be immersed in a totally new experience. All of the excitement and tension of cramming one more item on my CV is over and I am coasting through classes during my last semester. I am apprehensive and bored at the same time. I have been sleeping a lot lately, my appetite is somewhere near zero, and I am suffering from a terrible sense of ennui. I am literally depressed over this change of life that is happening. My only consolation is that I know that things will eventually pick up. Right now is just awful, though, especially since I am waiting with bated breath from my dream school. Probably the wrong place to post your kind of depression red bull...I think you could get help on the Decisions board. To everyone on the thread, I am wishing you the best...know how you feel since I was in the same situation last admissions cycle. Benzene 1
jynx Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Glad I'm not alone in this. I've had a lot of trouble staying emotionally stable through this process...some days I maintain the equanimity I'm aiming for, some days I'm hopeful and excited, and some days (like today) I'm anxious/depressed. I don't have any acceptances yet either, but it's been 3 weeks since one of my interviews, and another of my interview schools said decisions should be going out by the end of this week, so the anticipation is starting to drive me a little nuts. I had a dream last night that I got rejected from everywhere, and everyone was like, "You didn't get in ANYWHERE? But you applied to 14 schools! What's wrong with you?" I keep telling myself this will all be over soon, but decision time can't come soon enough
PrettyVacant Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) I noticed the other day my excitement changed to wondering and now near depression, definitely anxiety mixed in! Unlike many of you, I only applied to one graduate program. ONE! So multiply the anxiety by 100! I also only applied to one program, and I can completely empathize with you! My application was due in Feb, and even though it hasn't been that long, I feel like I'm going crazy. I re-read my application materials on a daily basis... Some days I feel like my application was very strong, but most of the time I feel like there's no way I'm getting in. I've also started browsing my school's website and counting how many international students are accepted in every graduate department... and trying to calculate my chances based on the people that have gotten in already. So yeah, it's really a mix of anxiety, bi-polar disorder, and OCD. Some decisions seem so arbitrary ---some people who apply to both top tier programs and safeties end up getting into the top-tier programs and rejected from their safeties! Man, I'm so tired of thinking about these things. I don't have a life anymore. I'm seriously considering taking up drinking/smoking. I'm a big ball of stress! Edited March 11, 2011 by PrettyVacant
smarmie Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I have honestly never been so depressed in my life. After getting rejected from my top choice school on Tuesday I'm now 2/3 on rejections and waiting to hear from one more. Needless to say, I'm not so optimistic about the last school. And just to add to the already overwhelming depression, the universe decided to completely mind f**k me and I just found out that my dog has cancer and I have to put him down. Seriously, how am I supposed to study for finals now?
Benzene Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 Smarmie, I'm really sorry to hear about your dog. That is incredibly sad. I would be devastated if that happened to either of mine. *hugs*
fsmn36 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Depressed, stressed, freaking out...seriously, the first time around wasn't this bad, I swear! (No seriously, time must heal the pain because I was 1/4 last time around, but I feel like it was much less stressful. Or perhaps it's the huge difference between pleasing my undergrad profs versus my grad school profs and cohort.) I have little hope, too, Benzene. Georgetown is a 99% chance of a no, and Johns Hopkins, while the best fit, is by far my reach school. I have very little hope of getting in this round.
PrettyVacant Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I have honestly never been so depressed in my life. After getting rejected from my top choice school on Tuesday I'm now 2/3 on rejections and waiting to hear from one more. Needless to say, I'm not so optimistic about the last school. And just to add to the already overwhelming depression, the universe decided to completely mind f**k me and I just found out that my dog has cancer and I have to put him down. Seriously, how am I supposed to study for finals now? Wow, sorry to hear that!
NoMoreABD Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 This is a tough situation for us all, but if you're basing your acceptance on promises made by people that you know have no power to grant those promises, then I think the blame might be misplaced. Good luck, and hang in there! Oh, come on! Of course I'm not blaming them! I was misunderstood. All I meant was that it's irresponsible on their part to say things like "you'll definitely be accepted" when clearly no one knows that. I never took it seriously, it just makes it harder to give them the bad news, that's all. I think they should express a more realistic approach, so it's easier on everybody. Justintime 1
truckbasket Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Oh, come on! Of course I'm not blaming them! I was misunderstood. All I meant was that it's irresponsible on their part to say things like "you'll definitely be accepted" when clearly no one knows that. I never took it seriously, it just makes it harder to give them the bad news, that's all. I think they should express a more realistic approach, so it's easier on everybody. I see what you're saying, and yeah, that makes perfect sense. I had a ton of people, from profs to letter writers to family telling me the same thing -- human nature apparently. Fingers crossed for you, foreign guy!
marigaby Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Hi, fellow anxiety-ridden gradcafe users I am, as everyone else on this thread, also freaking out. I've started to realize the chances of attending grad school this year have rapidly fizzled down to barely none, and it is seriously depressing. I am trying to act like this isn't bothering me on the scale that it is, but it's frightening to feel like my plans for next year are suddenly dissapearing. Anyway, nice to find rejection-camaraderie on here. Good luck to all you guys still waiting anxiously for any notices! PrettyVacant 1
Justintime Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Oh, come on! Of course I'm not blaming them! I was misunderstood. All I meant was that it's irresponsible on their part to say things like "you'll definitely be accepted" when clearly no one knows that. I never took it seriously, it just makes it harder to give them the bad news, that's all. I think they should express a more realistic approach, so it's easier on everybody. I was reading down the thread hoping you'd get a chance to explain that...it made perfect sense to me!
KreacherKeeper Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I have honestly never been so depressed in my life. After getting rejected from my top choice school on Tuesday I'm now 2/3 on rejections and waiting to hear from one more. Needless to say, I'm not so optimistic about the last school. And just to add to the already overwhelming depression, the universe decided to completely mind f**k me and I just found out that my dog has cancer and I have to put him down. Seriously, how am I supposed to study for finals now? I am so sorry about your dog. I went through this last year with my own, and I still miss him. Sending thoughts of warmth and peace your way!
fifa0001 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I totally hear you comrade! I work so I go to the library to work on my SoP and applications stuff over the weekend (don't want to stay home cuz way too many distractions). She knows about this and guess what, this is what my dear mother told family relatives and friends on the phone, "oh yea, young ppl now a days goes out everyday to enjoy their lives. they don't work hard as we do before" excuse me Ma'am Mom's really don't have a clue when it comes to all of this. My mom thinks that I am smart therefore I will get into anything I want to do in life, and so she ignores me when I tell her its stressful. To make matters worse, she does not seem to get how long all of this stuff takes. For example, "What did you do today?" Answer: I worked on my SOP. Mom: Oh that's all you did, I see you need a break sometimes. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! We have to love and honor them, but sometimes we also just have to realize Mom's don't have a clue!
everygirl Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 What's the cute present? I'm not sure what to get to thank my LOR writers. It's really professor-specific, so I'm not sure it'll help you. One of them goes running on campus a lot in clothes with school logos everywhere, so I got her another shirt but had one of the fundamental questions of our discipline screen screen printed on it. The other one doesn't have any specific quirks, so I just got him a coffee mug, with one of his favorite lecture sayings printed on it. I was a little over $20 CAD, which is exactly what you should be spending on these little gifties. Otherwise, baked goods always works!
fredngeorge Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I definitely agree with the posters who said that it's hard when professors give you hope ("You'll definitely get offers from at least a few schools!"), and then you're rejected from everywhere! I understand also that, as a previous poster said, the game has changed since most of these professors applied themselves -- more people apply and there are fewer positions and less money to go around. Still, false hope is the worse kind -- I'd rather have a sort of damp reality presented so that, if something good happens, it's that much better! This is my third round of applications. I was rejected everywhere twice (a total now of almost 20 times). This time around I'm more limited by location, and I (stupidly) only applied to one program. I've heard nothing, but acceptances and waitlist notices have already gone out for a number of applicants -- and last year I didn't hear from this school until May!! I feel your pain, fellow applicants. Hopefully it doesn't take you 3+ times to get in. Hopefully we all hear something good in the final hour (or sooner, if the universe decides to be kind to us). Hopefully everything works out for all of us eventually. P.S. I only just found this forum this week, and I love being able to communicate people struggling with the same things that I am. Thanks for being there, and thanks for sharing! PrettyVacant 1
ShanHeartsPsyc Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I love this club. Hi, I'm Shan and I'm depressed too . I feel I have been rejected enough. I just want to sleep. Know what makes it worse? Significant others who keep telling me to remain positive? Really??? How is that going to help?! I just want them to stop. eerrkkk!! <-- that's how I scream *sigh*
benafflicted Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 As a prospective philosophy grad I feel like Aristotle and Socrates never had it this hard. I mean c'mon! Competition can be a good thing, but I still feel like trying to get accepted into a program is a lot of hoop-jumping. Especially since none of my offers are funded! Can't I just bake my future professors some meatloaves as tuition and call it a day? fbh and ZeeMore21 2
etoile9 Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I am definitely part of this camp, and am glad I'm not alone! I was quite inebriated when one of my schools emailed me with a decision, and I found out I was waitlisted. I was expecting to get in so naturally I was upset, but drunken me was distraught and ended up crying to my boyfriend and parents for about a half hour. Needless to say, I can't wait for this process to be over :\
poliscijunkie Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 This process has seriously started to take its toll on me.... I applied to 5 schools, and have received two rejections thus far... a week apart (top two choices). Needless to say, im feeling very depressed. I am beginning to think i will get rejected from all the programs and HAVE NO PLAN B. I am getting worried because I feel like it is getting late in the process (but maybe not, im applying to ma programs at canadian schools). Thoughts??? Any stories of two rejections and then an acceptance ? I am in need of ANY glimpses of hope at this moment..
smarmie Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I definitely agree with the posters who said that it's hard when professors give you hope ("You'll definitely get offers from at least a few schools!"), and then you're rejected from everywhere! I understand also that, as a previous poster said, the game has changed since most of these professors applied themselves -- more people apply and there are fewer positions and less money to go around. Still, false hope is the worse kind - I definitely feel that. My professors were positive that I would get into all of my schools, they told me this so often that I began to believe it. Why would they fill me with false hope? So far two rejections and pretty sure the third is on its way. Oh,and two of my professors are friends with the profs that I named as my POI at the schools that rejected me. I feel so lied to.
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