PhDreams Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 She took me shopping for Christmas for an interview outfit (we're close), so I know she's much more confident than I am. I'm guessing I'll be "taken care of" by my department (been working here three years) if I have to (I know the head of the department is working on a project next year that I'd love to be part of), but I'd rather not worry too much about it if I don't have to... Awwww! She sounds amazing! Are you hoping to stay at your school for the doc program?? Sounds like an awesome environment. Good luck!
nohika Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Awwww! She sounds amazing! Are you hoping to stay at your school for the doc program?? Sounds like an awesome environment. Good luck! I wasn't my current major when I started at my four-year University, and got hired under the prof that became my mentor. I liked what she did so much that that's how I got interested in a PhD in the first place. She's been my mentor ever since and I like to think we're like mother-daughter in a way (I'm the same age as her daughter - we graduated from high school together). I am soooo frickin' lucky to have her as a mentor. I'm a first-generation (potential) grad student and have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. She also edited my SoPs, wrote me a letter, helped me with apps, etc. Her research interests are different (some of them, anyways) than mine, but she's helped me get projects in my own area as well as having me help with both related and non-related projects of hers. Mentor is the one that's shown me/I've been exposed to through TAing a lot of the other student's opinions of PhDs - some of the quotes I've shared are from final papers of this seminar class she taught in which the last paper included a reflection on what kind of jobs people wanted to do. I wish. The only PhD in my area is offered at the main campus, and that's the one mentor is using as a back-up program in case I need it. It's a truly awesome environment - I've got to work for all of the professors but one, and am TAing for another (one of my letter writers) and the one I might do research with next year is the head of the department (who is my mentor's best friend).
EdYouKateOr Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 That's exactly how I feel, nohika! I'm a huge planner, but it all went so badly last time, I just can't bring myself to look too much into any one situation...once I get admitted somewhere, though (knock on wood!), that will all change! I think that's why we're all here at this forum. We're planners. We're control-freaks. We have no control. So we commiserate! I have looked at housing, cost of leaving, the IRS rules, process for transferring my hubby's professional license, moving companies, schools for my daughter, cultural festivals, the 2013-2014 academic calendar, gas/parking v. Mass transit prices...I am rerunning out of things to research!!!! AUGHHH! Is it April yet?
sansao Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 That one hurt. Made worse by the fact that it was honest confusion. I suppose it could have been much worse...
firstsight Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 My professor, today:"Oh, well, when you start getting the interview calls, call me so I can prep you with what you need to know."She's so much more confident than I. >.<
viggosloof28 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 My professor, today: "Oh, well, when you start getting the interview calls, call me so I can prep you with what you need to know." She's so much more confident than I. >.< Everyone seems so much more confident in my eventual acceptance than I am, myself. Wonder how much of my anxiety now has to do with my fear of letting all these people down...anyone else feel this kind of unintended pressure from friends/family/profs?
nohika Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Everyone seems so much more confident in my eventual acceptance than I am, myself. Wonder how much of my anxiety now has to do with my fear of letting all these people down...anyone else feel this kind of unintended pressure from friends/family/profs? Sooooooo much. Mom is convinced programs will be fighting over me (despite a 3.2 GPA at my current Uni and a much worse (2.7) at my community college), mentor is pleased enough with the phone conversation I got and the programs I applied to that she's thinking I won't need my back-up school, etc. While I'm sitting here biting my nails and afraid of getting rejected because it'll tell all the people that supported me that I'm not good enough. Combined with an already existing huge anxiety problem, it's bad.
PhDreams Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) Everyone seems so much more confident in my eventual acceptance than I am, myself. Wonder how much of my anxiety now has to do with my fear of letting all these people down...anyone else feel this kind of unintended pressure from friends/family/profs? My profs have all given me the "you need to be more confident" spiel because I keep talking about how I'm not going to get in anywhere. I am also terrified of not getting in anywhere because they have all been soooooo confident about the fact that I will get into certain programs and I would be so embarrassed if I didn't make the cut. My friends are also really confident that I'll get it: "Of course you'll get in! Why wouldnt they LOVE you????" I'm not as concerned about explaining this to my friends. It's the professors I'm worried about. They sincerely acted like it would be astonishing if I didn't get in anywhere: "The hardest thing that you'll have to deal with is deciding between programs." It's given me so much anxiety.... ! Sighhhhhhhhh.... Edited January 4, 2013 by PhDreams
nohika Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 My profs have all given me the "you need to be more confident" spiel because I keep talking about how I'm not going to get in anywhere. I am also terrified of not getting in anywhere because they have all been soooooo confident about the fact that I will get into certain programs and I would be so embarrassed if I didn't make the cut. My friends are also really confident that I'll get it: "Of course you'll get in! Why wouldnt they LOVE you????" I'm not as concerned about explaining this to my friends. It's the professors I'm worried about. They sincerely acted like it would be astonishing if I didn't get in anywhere: "The hardest thing that you'll have to deal with is deciding between programs." It's given me so much anxiety.... ! Sighhhhhhhhh.... Mine was the one that told me that the programs I'm applying to are competitive, and she was a bit worried. Apparently she talked enough to people that she's not worried at all and is seeming much more confident. I haven't talked to her about Plan Bs yet because I'm afraid of the stop-being-pessimistic spiel. I'm a pessimist! I have to plan for /something/, even if it's getting rejected and being a failure...
PhDreams Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I have to plan for /something/, even if it's getting rejected and being a failure... Me tooooo! I was going to start applying to jobs, but the whole app process has really drained me. I'm taking a couple of weeks off and then diving into the job search. I'm just so nervous about everything. Major bouts of anxiety.
nohika Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Me tooooo! I was going to start applying to jobs, but the whole app process has really drained me. I'm taking a couple of weeks off and then diving into the job search. I'm just so nervous about everything. Major bouts of anxiety. That's one thing I haven't started yet, and am resisting...I currently work two jobs, one as a workstudy RA/TA, and one outside of school. I don't want to actively look for a job that would utilize my bachelors when I'm hopefully leaving in the summer. So I guess that's kind of...two-faced, in a way? I feel the nerves. I'm so afraid. It's killing me, and I'm afraid my mentor will notice.
RubyBright Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 My boyfriend, when I asked what I'll do if I don't get in anywhere: "... I don't actually know." Aaaaargh. No pressure.
firstsight Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Hahahaha. I keep saying I have backup plans. But my backup plans mostly involve a tremendous amount of Ben & Jerry's in addition to a not inconsiderable volume of Jim Beam. TED1213, viggosloof28, Sueño2014 and 2 others 5
PhDreams Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Hahahaha. I keep saying I have backup plans. But my backup plans mostly involve a tremendous amount of Ben & Jerry's in addition to a not inconsiderable volume of Jim Beam. Awwwwwww...mine are pretty similar. What I love about these boards is that because we're all going through the same process the majority of people on here are genuinely ecstatic when others on here get good news. I think it's pretty awesome that we build such a great little support system from November to April. It definitely helps to know that you can vent to people that understand you when you hear all the crazy stuff people say about applying.
Plustax Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 It is a good system we have. I'm freaking out like everyone else I am sure, I can't sleep I have no appetite, I put my self worth into my academics (it has dominated my life for the past year), and if I don't get in anywhere........ I really don't like thinking about it, and I'm pretty sure UCSC has rejected me......... Good luck to everyone!
viggosloof28 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I'm a pessimist! I have to plan for /something/, even if it's getting rejected and being a failure... Exactly! Thank goodness you guys understand. It honestly feels like the safest thing to do; if I plan on not getting in anywhere and come up with a back-up plan, then I'll just be extra super happy if I end up in a funded program! Hahahaha. I keep saying I have backup plans. But my backup plans mostly involve a tremendous amount of Ben & Jerry's in addition to a not inconsiderable volume of Jim Beam. Ha haaaaa! Same here, just substituting gin for the whiskey. What I love about these boards is that because we're all going through the same process the majority of people on here are genuinely ecstatic when others on here get good news. I think it's pretty awesome that we build such a great little support system from November to April. It definitely helps to know that you can vent to people that understand you when you hear all the crazy stuff people say about applying. Absolutely agree. Dunno what I'd do without this forum to vent to/encourage/rejoice with. A really great community to be part of! firstsight 1
nohika Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Exactly! Thank goodness you guys understand. It honestly feels like the safest thing to do; if I plan on not getting in anywhere and come up with a back-up plan, then I'll just be extra super happy if I end up in a funded program! I think my absolute favorite part about this website is finding out that I'm not the only one that does the absolutely crazy, neurotic insane grad-school-related things I do. It makes me feel much less crazy. I agree with whoever commented about not sleeping, though - I've had nasty trouble falling asleep the last couple nights, and I had a trainwreck of a day at work last night that I'm upset about still. Really gotta work on those professional boundaries, but there's something about a kid sobbing and the biological parent doing NOTHING about it that gets to my heart...especially in such a sweet child who's been through so much. Ugh. So I told one of my coworkers last night that I applied to Arizona State, and she smirked. "That's a party school." ...thanks? The sad thing was that I didn't know that until after I applied there, but I don't drink, don't go to bars, etc, and don't plan to...like ever. It'll limit my range of friends, but makes me feel better. Partying hasn't been a problem for me throughout undergrad (social life? What's that?), so I don't think it'll suddenly become a huge problem in graduate school when I have much more to lose.
Bearcat1 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 So I told one of my coworkers last night that I applied to Arizona State, and she smirked. "That's a party school." ...thanks? The sad thing was that I didn't know that until after I applied there, but I don't drink, don't go to bars, etc, and don't plan to...like ever. It'll limit my range of friends, but makes me feel better. Partying hasn't been a problem for me throughout undergrad (social life? What's that?), so I don't think it'll suddenly become a huge problem in graduate school when I have much more to lose. I'm pretty sure that when people refer to universities as "party schools" they are referring only to undergrads. I have yet to meet a grad student with time to "party" (my definition of a party would be time to have a glass of wine and read a book for fun...woohoo!) so I don't think you should worry about that, or about having to limit your friends. I would think your colleagues won't be partiers either. practical cat and RubyBright 2
nohika Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I'm pretty sure that when people refer to universities as "party schools" they are referring only to undergrads. I have yet to meet a grad student with time to "party" (my definition of a party would be time to have a glass of wine and read a book for fun...woohoo!) so I don't think you should worry about that, or about having to limit your friends. I would think your colleagues won't be partiers either. I've heard (see? Hearsay! Yay!) that some graduate students (vet/med specifically) and the like will go to bars to celebrate the end of exams, etc. I haven't ever gone to a bar and don't plan to, either. Just not my thing. I don't drink, I don't want to, and I'd rather not be around drunk people. My idea of a party is a night home playing videogames and maybe eating popcorn or reading. Whoop! Part of the reason I picked ASU is that two of my LOR writers know professors there and say it's an extremely collegiate environment. The department I work in right now is unbelievably sweet and nice and just...overall awesome. I'm worried about leaving it for a more...uh, I guess the word is "traditional" academic environment which may not be as supportive, I guess?
Bearcat1 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I've heard (see? Hearsay! Yay!) that some graduate students (vet/med specifically) and the like will go to bars to celebrate the end of exams, etc. I haven't ever gone to a bar and don't plan to, either. Just not my thing. I don't drink, I don't want to, and I'd rather not be around drunk people. My idea of a party is a night home playing videogames and maybe eating popcorn or reading. Whoop! Part of the reason I picked ASU is that two of my LOR writers know professors there and say it's an extremely collegiate environment. The department I work in right now is unbelievably sweet and nice and just...overall awesome. I'm worried about leaving it for a more...uh, I guess the word is "traditional" academic environment which may not be as supportive, I guess? Well, going to a bar to celebrate exams would be a three times a year thing, at the most. I wouldn't classify that as partying, and I do drink, but several of my colleagues don't and I don't drink when I'm with them and we're still very close. If you are in a super fabulous, supportive department now, I understand your fears. I'm terrified to start a program without my MA advisor, who is much like a mother to me. She tells me I shouldn't be looking for someone like her as an advisor, because I'll limit myself, but I really can't imagine grad school without someone like her! Maybe, since you've been in a wonderful departmental environment, you can cultivate that at your new program? And you should definitely select the program that is the best fit for you, and not base your decision on rumors you've heard about the students there; they could all be lies!!!
PhDreams Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I think my absolute favorite part about this website is finding out that I'm not the only one that does the absolutely crazy, neurotic insane grad-school-related things I do. It makes me feel much less crazy. THIS ^^^ I've been checking my apps for updates, but I know that adcoms aren't even meeting yet. I got word that a couple are meeting next week. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
viggosloof28 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 THIS ^^^ I've been checking my apps for updates, but I know that adcoms aren't even meeting yet. I got word that a couple are meeting next week. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously! I was obsessively looking through last year's results for my field and figured out that the adcomms will probably begin meeting on Monday - yeesh! As if I wasn't feeling nervous enough... :-S
Bearcat1 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Seriously! I was obsessively looking through last year's results for my field and figured out that the adcomms will probably begin meeting on Monday - yeesh! As if I wasn't feeling nervous enough... :-S I made a spreadsheet with the notification dates of all the programs I applied to. And even though the earliest from last year is Jan. 19th via email, I've been checking my apps at least three times a day.
RubyBright Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Forget checking apps three times a day - I keep checking the GradCafe chart! piano5115 and Allouette 2
amlobo Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Count me as another crazy person checking app statuses every day, even though I know late January is the absolute earliest that any of my programs notify applicants of decisions, lol. But, there are always those weird stories about people getting early acceptances/rejections... right!? That's what I'm telling myself to validate my insanity. And, I told one of my LOR writers that I would be applying again next year if I didn't get in anywhere. He replied, "You will certainly get admitted to multiple programs with full fellowships, and the only decision will be which one to choose." I am still about 10% convinced that I will get in anywhere. Why can't he be on the adcomm?! veggiez 1
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